Byron & Sondra - August, 2011

We spent 10 days at N-Resort during the first week in August.

I will get all of the negatives out of the way first. The resort is showing its age. There is a lot of faded paint and chipped concrete. They are only using about half of their buildings and they seem to be focusing their maintenance and repair efforts on the buildings that they're using and ignoring the others. The ignored buildings create a peripheral ambiance of neglect that is amplified by the vegetation. Their landscaping is more varied than most places, which I appreciate. It’s a nice change from the “tailored” look at other resorts. But, it tends to be a little overgrown. The palm leaves overhang the sidewalks and you have to duck and dodge as you walk to and from your room.

Here’s a tip for those who are not quite able to “unplug”. The wi-fi only works in the lobby. There are wi-fi signals at other places around the resort, including poolside. However, I was only able to connect to the net using the one in the lobby.

The biggest negative of N-Resort was the low occupancy. At peak, there were 14-15 couples present. On our last day, there were only five other couples there. The social atmosphere is an important component in a nekkid vacation. We had a few volleyball games that were 3-on-3 and 4-on-4. There were a couple of days where there was no volleyball at all. I’m not the biggest volleyball enthusiast, but I played just because there were so few players available.

Pardon a slight tangent, but I also noticed that of the 20-25 couples that we encountered during the trip, we had met more than half of them before. I've noticed that on our last 4-5 trips, including Braco, Desire, and Hidden Beach. I keep reading about the growth in the market for nude vacations, but I can't help but noticing that (a) there are fewer choices for nude vacations and (b) we keep running into the same people. Something doesn't add up here. It’s great to see old friends, though.

The General Manager was almost always present. He asked our opinions several times during the trip. We talked about the problems, and he's aware of them. However, he is waiting for the increase in cash flow that will coincide with an increase in occupancy before they start spiffing up the place. That's sounds good, but I think there is a chicken-and-egg relationship here. They may need to do some more speculative spiffing-up to get the occupancy to increase. One evening, our room did not have hot water. We mentioned it to the GM the next morning and he whipped his cell phone out of his pocket and calls the maintenance man and tells him to check it. No Caribbean resort is going to be without its problems, especially a resort in our price range. But, little problems don’t become big problems when they are addressed in that fashion.

Okay, now for the positives about N. N gets the basics correct. First, and most surprising, was the food. The head chef used to run the Italian cafe at Braco. He and his staff performed minor miracles given what they had to work with. Very few meals were buffet. About half of the lunches and dinners had a WOW factor to them. I had fish for lunch most days and it was always perfectly grilled. They mixed in enough Jamaican dishes that I was able to get my ackee and codfish fix for another year. By the end of the trip, we were getting a little spoiled by the late afternoon popcorn. They made a fresh batch about 4-4:30 and passed it around the pool. N-Resort won’t be mistaken for a 4-star restaurant, but the food was fresh, well-prepared, and there was a sufficient variety to keep it from being boring during a 10-day stay.

The pool is large, well situated (a good ocean view), and very well maintained. The maintenance became important during the week because the wind blew in from the beach on several days and it blew a lot of sand and leaves into the pool. The pool staff dealt with it promptly. The water slide was a fun diversion. If the occupancy increases, they are going to need more umbrellas for shade during the summer. The August sun can be pretty intense.

The rooms are wood paneled and floored. It contributes to the impression of obsolescence, but after a couple of days, I realized that even though the rooms are on the waterfront, there was no mildewy sheetrock or moldy, sand-filled carpet underfoot. So, the wood motif has its advantages. The housekeeping staff kept the room spotless during our stay. The balconies have a little settee on them and it’s a great place to sit and watch the sunset before dinner. I watched a few sunrises there, too, but the absence of a breeze and the hot August sun made the balcony an uncomfortable location shortly after sunrise and I was soon searching for some shade.

The N-Resort has Location, Location, Location in its favor. It is a beach resort. The Oceanfront rooms have the waves lapping up underneath the balconies. There is sand everywhere. I say that only to stress the point to people who will find that be a negative. It is a beach resort, so yes, there is sand. The sand fleas were a problem for some guests, so take the insect repellant of your choice. We received a few bites. But, we didn’t find the bugs to be any worse here than at any other resorts we’ve visited. The beach is wadeable offshore. It’s about 50/50 rocks and sand. I was able to wade out to the barrier without shoes, but you have to pick your path. They have a wide pier extending out into the ocean with some tables and chairs on it. In the winter months, when shade is not mandatory, that would likely be a good place to spend part of the day.

Another thing N-Resort has going for it is the fact that it is a nude resort. You don’t have to get dressed in the evening. You could easily pack for the week by packing a half-dozen wraps and a couple of pairs of shorts and t-shirts. We didn’t, of course, but we could have.

The service from the staff was prompt, friendly, and professional. The staff seems to be glad you’re there. That has not always been the case in some of our trips in the past few years. The entertainment staff seemed to recognize that the crowd (ha!) was a sedate crew and did not annoy us by trying to raise the energy level by trying to create the college frat party atmosphere.

The evening entertainment was definitely not a professional dinner show every evening. This might disappoint some, but we were able have a good time every evening. We did a little dancing and listened to live music some nights and a DJ some nights. I would rather listen to live amateur music perform with enthusiasm than hear a DJ play “Hot, Hot, Hot” anytime. There was a young lady singing one night that has a pretty impressive set of pipes. A couple of the staff have are part of small bands that played a couple of nights. They aren’t about to land major recording contracts, but they didn’t suck, either. The party pretty much wound down by 10:00 PM, so if you’re looking for a “party until the sun comes up” place, N-Resort is not it. We floated in the pool and hot-tub a couple of nights with other couples after the show, but most nights, we wondered back to the room. It’s curious to me how lazing around the pool all day drains so much energy.

I will attempt to compare and contrast to other resorts we’ve visited. N-Resort compares well with Braco. It is not as nice as Braco was at its peak, but it is definitely an improvement over Braco at its nadir. During our last two trips to Braco, the problems that they were having were getting hard to ignore. The most glaring example of this happened one morning when I saw a bartender carrying a blender from one bar to another and then I realized why I had not been able to get a frozen drink at the piano bar the night before. The staff was sharing one blender amongst three bars. There is no excuse for a resort’s management to handicap its staff in such a manner. So Braco’s demise came as no real surprise to me.

N-Resort’s food, beach, and service are on par with Desire. The facilities at Desire have a bit more shine on them. I will confess that we miss the more sensual atmosphere at Desire and the beach palapas are one of our favorite things about the place. However, Desire is doing quite well with their niche market and they are well aware of it, which shows in their rate increases and in the number of weeks in which there are no rooms available.

N-Resort’s food, service, and rooms are definitely a notch or two below Hidden Beach. But, N-Resort’s pool, beach, and price tilt the balance a bit more in its favor to the point where the airfare and schedule would probably be the deciding factor between Hidden Beach and N-Resort.

In summary, we would definitely return to N-Resort. It has everything we’re looking for: good pool, good beach, good food, good company, good service, and we get to be naked. The price was very pleasing, in that it was the lowest rate per night we’ve paid in a while. The final decision about whether or not we will visit there next year will be determined by the complicated equation of price, airfare, available flights, and schedule.

Byron & Sondra