Moe & Mo - August, 2007

 

Moe & Mo Trip Report

August 4-12, 2007

 

The Quick & Dirty Trip Report

For those who know me, I tend to be a bit wordy, so my trip reports end up being like mini-novels.  If you want the quick and dirty, here it is:

• No flight delays (Air Jamaica), although one of my bags got misplaced- but was found before we hit the bus.
• Resort was 100% full, actually overbooked.  We didn't get bumped, but a lot of people did.
• The rooms were fine, and I saw no bugs at all inside of ours- not even little ants like in years past.  I did get a few bug bites, but not many.  I made sure I sprayed myself thoroughly with Deep Woods Off almost every time I went outside, though.
• Towels were hard to find.  We usually took 3 towels at a time and tried to save/conserve without hoarding. I cant say that for everyone-  I saw people take 6 or more towels at once.  When the towel man made a delivery, it was like the feeding of the masses.
• The pool floats were in terrible condition.  Not only were they hard to find, but they were ripped up and split.
• Had hot water every day, but once the water shut off completely while I was in the shower and all soaped up.  It came back on after a few minutes, but only a trickle- barely enough to wash the soap off.
• AC was great, and we didn't have mold in our room.  The rooms were kept clean, although one day we didn't get towels until almost 7pm.
• Cocktails and Wild Women were there and were a blast!  The quad pool was always jumping, while the nude pool was more subdued.  Saw some BJs at both pools, some light girl/girl action, and once some doggy-style action at the shallow end of the nude pool, but that was it for the PDAs.
• We had a renewal of vows ceremony, which was beautiful and so many people came to see it.  We were truly touched.  Karen was a great coordinator, although her punctuality could use a bit of work.
• We had an absolute blast with old and new friends alike.  We met some of the best people ever, who will be true friends for life.

 

Comparison to Grand Lido Braco

• We stayed at Braco for the last 2 nights of our vacation. The grounds were beautiful, especially the nude pool area and the beaches. Everything was set up like a Victorian village, with cobblestone streets and old fashioned decor.
•  I was REALLY disappointed in the room. The room at Braco was damp, rundown, and dim.  The bathroom was in SERIOUS need of an update. There was plenty of hot water, though and good water pressure in the shower and our AC worked fine in the room.
• The service was ok, but not nearly what I expected. Servers often forgot our drink orders, did not refill our water glasses (even after they sat empty for several minutes- we had to find someone to get us more water), and in the main dining room after giving us one drink, the waitress did not come back to our table at all for the remainder of our meal.
• The food was good at all of the restaurants we visited. Room service was accurate and prompt and the food was delicious.
• Beach towels were always available, as were cushioned lounge chairs. The pool and hot tub water was clear as a bell.
• The gym had a lot of equipment and everything was operational (although the cardio equipment could use updating). The AC did not seem to work properly in the gym, so it was quite warm. There were not always towels available.
• The resort was pretty slow and very laid back, especially compared to our 6 nights at H3. It rained or was cloudy for most of our stay there, which was a bit disappointing. My husband said that he'd definitely go back. I probably would not unless the rooms were updated.

 

The Long Hedo/Lido Novel- Day by Day Trip Report

If you like your reports with a lot more detail, read on:

 

Saturday, August 4

 

We arrived at MBJ airport bright and early, only 10 minutes behind schedule.  We had flown from Vegas to Los Angeles on Friday night, then taken the red-eye from LAX to MBJ on Air Jam.  The ride was fine, and we met a bunch of Hedo people in the bar in the LAX airport while waiting for our flight.  At first, we weren't quite sure, but we lingered by their table until I finally got up the nerve to approach them.  "Um...are you...?"  I said, tentatively.  "Mo and Moe?!" they exclaimed.  We all hugged and introduced ourselves, excited to have met some fellow Hedonites- E&D, C&K, and L, a Hedo newbie.  The plane ride to Jamaica was pretty bad, to tell the truth.  The flight itself was fine, but of course, we were seated in front of a screaming baby and kids who decided that it would be fun to kick our seats for the entire 6 hour flight.

 

We made it all in one piece, however, and proceeded quickly through customs.  Three of our four bags came out of baggage claim quickly, but one of my bags did not make it.  After filling out all of the lost baggage paperwork, we grudgingly went to the Superclubs lounge to wait for our bus.  To our surprise, all of our new friends from the plane waited for us. To top it off, as we walked to the bus, Warren, from the Superclubs lounge, came up to us with my bag!  Now the trip can truly begin!

 

The bus ride was pretty smooth after we got out of Mo Bay, and we spent most of the time talking and educating L about the Hedo way of life.  We made the obligatory rest stop and L and I purchased some of the Jamaican product.  We arrived at the resort at about 9:30am, and of course our rooms weren't ready (big surprise.) We stored our bags in Rick & Ivy's suite and enjoyed some Ting and beer from their refrigerator and met their next door neighbors, a fun couple from Georgia.  Since we were supposed to be on the lookout for a number of people, we made some makeshift signs and walked around the resort looking for them.  Our pitiful signs got some laughs, but also got some confused looks.  Nonetheless, we met up with our young single guy friends R&F from DC, and M&J from Maryland.  Actually, M found us- she recognized me from a picture I had sent her (she said I sent a picture of my backside, but I swear I didn't send that one!).  She had us peep into her bathroom window, where her husband, J, was standing there naked while shaving his head.  J was built like a Mack Truck, with tattoos on his arms and chest.  We decided to call him "The Tank" because he looked like he could run through walls!

 

 After checking back several times at the front desk, we were finally given the "definitive" word that our room would be ready at 1:30.  We decided to go ahead and take a quick shower in Rick & Ivy's room (thanks, guys for being so generous!), get undressed and head over to the nude pool until our room was ready.  To our surprise, the room actually was ready at 1:30, so we rounded up our bags and one of the maintenance people helped us carry them to our 2nd floor quad room.  It was in good condition, very clean and well stocked.  We dropped off our belongings then went back downstairs to explore things a little more.  The quad was definitely jumping!  We met a lot of people, had some drinks, and chatted the afternoon away.  R&F, even though they were "dreaded single guys" seemed to be fitting in well, and definitely appeared to be having plenty of fun! I remember looking over at them at the quad bar, where one was playing with boobs and the other was playing with buns.  I'd say they acclimated to H3 pretty well!  After a few hours, I was getting a bit tired, so we went to the Scotch Bonnet and had lunch, then I went back to the room for an afternoon nap.  Moe stayed out and socialized for awhile longer before coming back to the room to nap as well. 

 

Rick and Ivy made reservations for 8 of us to dine at Mussan that evening, so we dragged ourselves out of bed and downstairs.  I wore my favorite slutty red dress- I can only wear it at Hedo, and it always gets a lot of compliments.  At dinner, we found out that due to overbooking, a lot of our friends who were scheduled to arrive had been bumped to other resorts.  We ran into Ray & Cindy at the Gala Buffet, and they were pretty sad because, despite their 25+ trips to H3, they had been bumped to Grand Bahia, a (gasp) family resort!  They were pretty dispirited, but had been promised that a room would be ready the following night.  Four of our other friends suffered a similar fate.  Upon arriving at the airport, Superclubs refused to even take them to H3, instead saying that they would take them to a resort in Ocho Rios.  They refused, and took a cab to H3, where they raised holy hell, but still were unable to get a room and were also promised that a room would be ready the next day.  Instead of leaving, they decided to shack up with some other friends for the night. 

 

After dinner, we socialized at the bar.  We met another couple we had seen at the LAX airport, but were unsure if they were Hedonites as well.  I remember seeing them, because Moe pointed them out at the airport, saying, "Look, that lady is TALL!  She's like 7'6"."  Of course, she was not that tall (she said she was 5'11, but always wears heels), but it was funny that we ended up running into them at Hedo too!  They decided to take a private car instead of the airport shuttle, so they ended up getting to the resort at about 8:30am.   Anyway, after a few drinks, E&D offered to share some of their Jamaican product with us, so we headed to their room for a bit.  Moe doesn't smoke, but we listened to some music and got a nice high.  Then it was off to the disco!  Almost as soon as we got there and started dancing, I felt a tap on my shoulder.  A cute girl and her boyfriend came up to us.  The girl asked if she could touch my boobs because she thought they were pretty.  She was with the Wild Women and really nice, so I let her get a quick feel, but that was it.  The music in the disco was good, but we were pretty tired. I was sad to see that the pole was gone.  I guess someone finally fell off the bar while doing tricks.  We called it a night at around 1am.

 

Sunday, August 5

 

I woke up at around 7:00 and headed down to the gym.  I was pleasantly surprised to see that the cardio equipment had been updated- new treadmills, stationary bikes, and a new eliptical.  I worked out for about an hour.  Unlike H2, a number of other guests were also up at that hour exercising.  After finishing my workout, I went back to the room to shower and wake up Moe.  Breakfast time, my favorite meal of the day! Omelettes and french toast and bacon, oh my!  We wandered around a bit before finding a table, but finally did.  One thing that H2 has over H3 in my opinion is the friendliness of the guests.  At H2, people freely invite you to join them at their tables whether they know you or not, while H3 guests tend to be less inclusive of strangers.  Regardless, we found somewhere to sit, and were later joined by a few friends. 

 

After breakfast, we headed back to the room for our morning nap.  I love getting full from breakfast, then taking a nap before heading down to the pool.  I was expecting my friend "A" to come visit for the day and I was excited to show her around.  She was staying at H2 for the week with some other friends.  At around 11:20, the airport desk called and said that she was on her way.  We blew up some balloons and went down to the lobby to meet her at around 12:30.   She trudged in, happy to be at Hedo, but even happier to be off the bus!  She said that the ride was fine, but she had to wait for 2 HOURS at the airport before being allowed to get onto the bus to H3.   We gave her a quick tour and took her to the room, where she changed out of her travel clothes and dropped off her bags.  On first impression, she remarked that H3 felt a lot "tighter" than H2- the pathways were more narrow and everything was so close together.  We went to Scotch Bonnet and got a quick lunch, then off to the nude pool for a bit, where things were pretty tame.  We heard that A's friends R&F (the single guys) were at the main bar, so we swung by there, but couldn't find them.  Finally, we decided to just settle down at the quad pool and figured that they would eventually find us.   Sure enough, they showed up in a few minutes in good spirits.  We introduced "A" to people, smoked a bit, and laughed a lot.  Before I knew it, "A" was seated on one of the pool tabletops with some guy's head between her legs!   Although there was a lot of cheering and clapping, A didn't look entirely comfortable with the situation.   I found out a little later that the guy hadn't even asked her permission- he just asked if he could see her piercing.  When she said ok, he dove in and started munching.  Although she took it in stride, I definitely didn't think that his behavior followed the Hedo credo of "respect." 

 

A few hours passed, during which time, I was asked to "play" by a very persistent girl.  She was pretty, but also pretty aggressive.  I thought she was going to push me into the pool.  She finally gave up, and I watched her suck another woman's breasts.  To my left, I saw two girls giving a guy a BJ.  He looked like he was in heaven.  That's Hedo for you!  Moe and I decided to get some lunch at the Scotch Bonnet (our favorite lunchtime spot), then headed back to the room for naptime.  I must say, having a quad room is fun, but when it comes to napping, it is LOUD!  We managed to get a few zzz's in, however.  "A" came back to the room a little later and went to dinner at Pastafari with R&F.    When she returned, we got ready for Pimps and Ho's night.  We put on our sluttiest outfits and headed down to the bar. Our young single guy friends had embraced the theme and were dressed up in their pimp-a-licious best!  Their costumes were hilarious!  We met up with our friends who had initially gotten bumped, and thankfully, they all finally had rooms.  We smoked a bit, then hit the disco and watched the contests.  I was wiped out at about 1:30, so I called it a night, while Moe and "A" roamed around a little more.  Eventually, they trickled into bed.  "A" apparently poked me for awhile before I finally woke up and scooted over enough for her to have room in the bed.

 

Monday, August 6

 

I woke up at about 7:30, ready to hit the gym, but "A" woke up and told me that she and R&F had to leave at 10am to go back to H2.  We talked about how to make sure she didn't have any problems getting back there.  I finally made it down to the gym at about 8:20.  Only 25 minutes into my workout, who should show up but my homegirl R from Oakland! I almost flew off the treadmill, I was so happy to see her.  I told her to go up to the room and wake Moe up.  A few minutes later Moe and R came down to the gym to wait for me.  A brief downpour and about 15 minutes later, I finished my workout and went back to the room to shower.  We put "A,"  R&F on the bus after making sure that they wouldn't have any trouble changing buses at the airport.  Of course, R's room wasn't ready, so we let her store her stuff in our room and get ready to hit the pool.  She showed us a big" tree branch" that she had purchased with a guy who rode with her on the bus and we giggled like schoolgirls.  We set out to find her co-purchaser and give him his share, but to no avail.  When we walked past the waterslide, one of the watersports guys came up to us.  "It's a good day for waterslide," he said.  "Hottest part of the day...probably would be good."  When we first walked past, we weren't thinking about sliding, but that was a  damn good sales pitch!  All of a sudden, we started feeling hot and sticky- and the waterslide looked pretty great. If we weren't looking for R's co-purchaser, we definitely would have jumped in.  After awhile, we gave up and settled down at the nude pool.  Who should come along but her co-purchaser, J.  He was none to pleased with her, thinking that she had run off with his share of the branch.  In fact, he said that if they were in LA, he would, "ooooh...."(said while balling up his fist).  A little scary!

 

After our incident with J, we hung out for a bit, meeting people and just chit-chatting. I saw some old friends, from the Wild Women, and was happy to see that sexy M & D had decided to come this year.   Of course, Moe was out campaigning and meeting people left and right.  Afternoon came, and with it, time for my afternoon meal and siesta.  I got a big plate of food to go and went back to the room to eat and sleep.  After a nap, we were ready to go out and hit the Hedo nightlife.  We had a light late dinner and watched the end of showtime, then hung out by the bar until time to go to the disco.  Luckily, R's room was just down the hall from ours!  We went down to the main bar and met up with a good Hedo friend from years past, who gave us a couple of happy pills, so we were set.

 

Pirate night at the disco was hilarious. I was getting pretty horny, so Moe and I left.  We tried to have some fun at the quad, but it was pretty distracting because people kept walking by.  We finally just decided to go to the room and do our thing.  I guess it was pretty good, because Moe was wiped out for the night.  I headed back to the disco and hung out with R, Ray & Cindy and our good friend Ruben.  We were having a great time, feeling really high and happy, when all of a sudden, we heard yelling.  We looked toward the bar and saw a local guy and a guest pushing and shoving each other while yelling curses at each other.  The guest's girlfriend was trying to hold them apart, but not doing a very good job of it.  All of the noise was killing our high, so we left and decided to go down to the midnight buffet.  We had just settled down with our plates when out of nowhere, we saw the local guy striding across the dining room from the direction of the omelette bar.  He was carrying a bottle by the neck and looked like he was ready to kick some a$$.  In the other direction, we saw the guest and his girlfriend coming toward the local guy, hollering and cursing.   I got up to leave, with R right behind me.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the local guy grab something silver off the buffet.  Thinking it was a knife,  I put some extra speed in my step and hustled over to the main bar.  On the way over there, we heard a loud low voice scream, "Noooooo."  A few seconds later, we saw 4 security guards come to the disco from the lobby.  They surrounded the local guy, grabbed his arms and began walking him out.  He said something to him and they walked back into the dining room.  They came back out in a minute, but the local guy was carrying a plate of food!  I still can't believe that he asked to get a “to-go” plate and the guards let him get it! 

 

Ruben, Ray & Cindy came to the bar a moment later.  They had stayed for the whole thing.  Ruben said that the silver object that the local guy grabbed from the buffet was actually a pizza spatula.  What he was going to do with it, I still don't know.  Cut the guy in a perfect triangle?  Spread him thin?  Anyway, Cindy was the one who screamed.  Apparently her substance of choice made her very sensitive, and she said she had started crying and just didn't want to see them fight. 

 

Well, that was enough drama for the evening.  R & I waked back to the room, looking forward to our next day of fun in paradise.

 

Tuesday, August 7

 

I woke up and hit the gym, a little later than the day before.  It was definitely becoming a struggle to make it.  Moe and I went to breakfast with R, and we got our good 'n' greasy fix.  We had a morning nap and hit the nude pool, where we told people about the fight from the night before.  That was the first time I had ever seen a fight at either Hedo resort, so I was still shocked about it.  We alternated between the quad and the nude side, Moe continued the campaign trail, and R and I stayed sky-high.  We met a lot of great people and had a lot of laughs.  Afternoon came, as did time for a plate from Scotch Bonnet and a nap. While I was chowing down in the room, there was a knock at the door.  Half-naked, I answered, and it was a delivery of a fruit/cheese plate and champagne!  I was really appreciative, but kind of embarrassed. Not because of the nakedness, but because I probably had ketchup all over my face.  I was able to sleep after my meal, though.  I think I got used to the noise at the quad pool, because it got easier to fall asleep each day. 

 

We went down for dinner, then headed back to the room to change for PJ night.  I wore a skimpy 2 piece set, while Moe put on his Homer Simpson PJ bottoms and his Curious George fuzzy slippers.  R wore a hot see through catsuit.   We made our way to the disco, which was in full effect.  Our friend only had 1 happy pill for R & me to split, but we were thankful for his generosity.  We saw the winners of the contests and I bumped and grinded with Moe on the dance floor.  Compared to the previous night, it was pretty uneventful- but just as fun.  We met a guy wearing blue speedo bottoms, a white hat, and white dress shoes- and wore the outfit in complete seriousness.  It was his first time to Hedo, and he was having a ball.  Those white shoes cracked us up, though.  To top it off, he jumped into the disco cage and did a little dance, including hanging upside down.  R said that she even saw him smack his own ass while on the dance floor!  Moe said that the guy smacked his ass, which made him a little uncomfortable.  Hilarious!

 

After leaving the disco, Moe and I headed to the quad, where things were really hopping.  We joined the festivities, which included singing our rendition of "New York, New York."  I guess we got a little too loud, because the security guard came by to tell us to keep it down or move it to the nude pool.  We moved to the pool, but the water just looked way too uninviting to me- yucky and murky.  Some people didn't care and hopped in anyway (including Moe), but I decided to just go back to the room.  Moe must have been having an awesome time, because an hour later, he wasn't back.  I had to go to the nude pool to round him up like a naughty child.     

 

Wednesday, August 8- Wedding Day

Wedding day!  We were scheduled to renew our vows at 2pm.  Even though we had our "official" ceremony just 4 months ago, we wanted to have a ceremony at Hedo III, because that's where we met two years ago.  Besides that, a lot of our Hedo friends couldn't make it to our traditional ceremony and we wanted to share it with them.  We went to breakfast, then back to the room for a nap.  We took an extra-long nap, and when we woke up, it was time to start getting ready.  Moe got dressed and went down to the gazebo.  R and Cindy, my bridesmaids, came to the room to help me get ready.  I was starting to worry when the coordinator still hadn't shown up at 2.  I called down to the desk and was told that she was on her way.  She finally showed up at 2:15 (truly that soon com attitude), and we walked down to the gazebo.  Cindy's husband Ray, who introduced me to Moe, walked me down the aisle.  My heart was beating just as hard this time as it did 4 months ago!  To my surprise, I saw a TON of people by the gazebo waiting for the ceremony.  I was really shocked- I expected about 10 people to come- just our close friends- but instead, it looked like 40-50 people were there. 

 

I won't bore you with the details, but it was beautiful.  The sound of the water, looking into Moe's eyes, seeing our friends...it was magical.  Afterwards, we had a champagne toasts and a delicious chocolate cake with white icing.  The cake was probably the best dessert I've ever had in Jamaica- moist, rich, and the icing was to die for.  I probably could have eaten the whole thing.  To my disappointment, Shirleen took away the cake when there was still 1/3 left!  I know we didn’t have anywhere to store it, but still....  I found out later that two of our friends had passed out during the wedding- too much sun, too little food, and too much booze.  After eating, rehydrating, and laying down for awhile, they were ok, thank goodness.

 

Anyway, after the wedding, we decided it was time for a naked waterslide run.  Moe had only been down the slide once in all of his visits to H3, and he said it was terrifying.  But, we insisted on it, and everyone said that he had to do it.  We walked over, stripped out of our wedding clothes and headed up the stairs.  Moe was really scared, and to tell the truth, I was too.  That slide is high and I'm not crazy about heights.  I didn't let on that I was scared, though.  We got to the top, and Moe was still trying to get out of it.  "I would never make you do anything like this!" he said.  He promised to do it, finally, and R went down, then I did.  That waterslide is FAST!  It was fun, though.  After going, we looked up, and Moe still hadn't gone.  A bunch of people went after him, and still no go.  We had to send Spike up there- and that got him down the slide!

 

After the slide, we went back to the quad pool to have some more fun with our friends.  Afternoon Scotch Bonnet and nap came late that day, but we didn't mind.  We got dressed for Pastafari and had an ok meal. The service was SUPER slow.  I'm not one to complain about service, especially in Jamaica, but everything took forever.  We finally gave up on waiting for coffee and dessert and just left.

 

R & I tried to find some happy pills, cause we didn't want to bother our friend again. We found someone hanging out at the Scotch Bonnet and asked.  He said yes and we got some money.  It was some wack a$$ sh*t!   But, that's the risk you take, and at least it wasn't anything that made us feel bad. 

 

We got ready for fetish night at the disco and Moe had the scariest "black vulcan" gimp outfit ever- a hood with no eye, nose, or mouth holes, a spiked collar (borrowed from D, thanks!), and a leather kilt (with only a g-string in the back).  He wouldn't say anything, just walked up into your personal space like a zombie and stroked your face.  He was really terrifying!  Unfortunately, the disco's AC had conked out, and it was really hot in there and a lot of people were leaving by the time we got there.  There were a lot of great outfits, though.  One naughty woman, who always had something sexual to say, had a whip and used it liberally on anyone who wanted a spank.  She'd first caress your legs and buns with the whip, then give a firm "thwak" and caress it once again.  It was very sexy.    Moe and I stayed for awhile and danced, then he went out to the deck to scare people with his costume, but decided to call it a night after a couple of hours.  Moe was pretty hot, though.

 

Thursday, August 9

We were bummed, because we were scheduled to leave the next day and go to Grand Lido Braco for 2 days.  We wanted to stay at Hedo!!!  I went and spoke with Donna Grant, who said she'd see what she could do, and to come check with her the next morning.  We were optimistic that they'd let us stay, so we went about our usual routine.  R wanted to take another waterslide run, so I walked over with her along with some other friends.  I didn't feel like sliding, so I just watched and held the stuff.  While we were there, K was trying to break the record for waterslide runs- 32 in 30 minutes.  We watched until he got to 17.  It looked HARD!  Those stairs had to be murder, over and over again.  He was moving, too.  He started with sneakers, but kicked them off after #10 or so.  We went back to the quad, but found out later that he had broken the record- 34 slides in 30 minutes.

 

 I got something from the nude grill for lunch instead of Scotch Bonnet, and had the nicest conversation with John, the grill chef.  He made a delicious chicken burger and fries with cheese on them.  Yum-O!

 

Toga & talent night!  The talent was AWESOME- singing, dancing, drums, harmonica,; everyone was really good.  The food seemed special, too.  R decided to nap, so she missed it, but we filled her in.

 

Moe wanted to lay down for a bit, so me and R went to the disco and said we'd get him if he didn't show up soon. Ray & Cindy let me and R split their last happy pill. That was some great stuff!  I was so horny and feeling really sexy. Luckily, Moe showed up just in the knick of time.  I grinded up on him, kissed him, and let him feel all over me in the disco.  Finally, we couldn't take it anymore.  We ended up in the wedding gazebo, where we wore ourselves out.  We stopped at the midnight buffet for some fries, and back to the room.

 

Friday, August 10- Leaving to go to Grand Lido

We were pretty nervous getting up this morning, because we weren't sure whether we would be able to stay or if we'd have to go ahead on to Braco as scheduled.  We went to the front desk, but apparently Donna Grant hadn't informed anyone of our conversation, because the clerk had no idea what we were talking about.  I was able to see Donna, who told me to check back with her in about 1/2 hour.  We went ahead to breakfast, and returned in 40 minutes (allowing for "Jamaican time").  I went to Donna's office- and there was a sign on the door saying she'd be back at 11!  I was a little annoyed, but figured she would have let someone at the front know what was going on one way or the other.  I went back to the front, where the clerk again said that she didn't know what I was talking about, and very snootily said, "Well, I think you should go ahead and pack your room and go to Braco."  I wasn't going to do that, especially without getting the official word from Donna.  I knew that once we left the room, it would be all over and there would be no way that we could stay. 

 

Moe and I packed our stuff just in case and went to the nude pool to say some tentative goodbyes.  We were both pretty bummed.  When we returned to the front desk, Donna finally saw me at about 11:30, and sadly said that she tried, but they were still overbooked, so there was no way that we could stay.  She said that since they were still bumping people to Braco, if we wanted, we could take the shuttle back to Hedo for daytime and nighttime activities for no charge.  Moe said that we probably wouldn't do that. "Once we're gone, we're gone." 

 

We sadly went back to tell everyone and get our bags to the front.  I put on some skimpy shorts and a tank top.  "You're wearing THAT to Braco?" he asked.  "Yep," I said.  "Your butt cheeks are hanging out.  You're gonna scare the people over there."  Oh well, they'll definitely know we're from Hedo.  We said our sad goodbyes and it was off to Braco.  The bus picked up folks from Breezes, and dropped us off at Braco.  Well, we weren’t at Hedo anymore, that's for sure.  The grounds were really pretty- golf course, manicured lawns.  We went into the reception area, which was like a sitting room.  We were offered cool, damp towels to wipe off, and check in was perfectly smooth.  We walked behind the bellman, marveling at the property.  Everything was set up like a Victorian village, with cobblestone streets and Victorian houses.  The beach was gorgeous.  Even though the waves were choppy, the sand was soft, there were lots of lounge chairs (with soft cushions!) and beach umbrellas set up for shade. 

 

We got to our room, and I was really disappointed.  I felt like I was in my grandma's basement.  It was dim (very little lighting), damp, and just looked run down.  The decor was the old-fashioned Victorian (lots of dark wood), and the bedspread was an ugly plaid.  There was a ceiling fan, which was nice, but surprisingly- no clock!  The TV had a lot more stations than the ones at H3.  The bathroom was just old looking.  It was clean, although the toilet was a bit rusty on the inside, but there were a few ants, and the fixtures looked like they were on their last legs.  The one good thing about the room was the patio.  We had a ground floor oceanfront room, which meant that we could just open the back door and walk straight to the beach in less than a minute.  Nice.

 

We put down our belongings and walked across the property.  The beach was beautiful- soft looking sand, lounge chairs with cushions, big umbrellas to shade from the sun.  The gym was big, with lots of equipment, but the cardio equipment looked a little dated.  It was a little warm in there, too, like the AC wasn't quite working.    We walked over to the nude side, and were amazed.  Before even getting to the nude side, we saw a sign that said, "You are now entering the Au Natural area.  No Photography.  Please respect individual's privacy."  "Even the sign is nicer here," Moe said.  At the pool area,  more cushioned lounge chairs and umbrellas, a gazebo, a beautiful, CLEAN, clear, large pool, huge hot tub, bar and grill with cafe seating- and a chef grilling lamb chops!  And towels- a seemingly never- ending supply in a large box near the pool.  Our mouths dropped open.  "If they had this at Hedo, it would be incredible" Moe said.  "If they had this at Hedo, people wouldn't know how to act.  I don't know how long it would stay this pretty." I said. 

 

Since we weren't naked, we didn't stay long, and instead walked back to the room.  Since I hadn't worked out that morning, I decided to hit the gym for a little bit while Moe took a nap.  I just used the eliptical and the treadmill.  The eliptical was fine, but the calorie counter on the treadmill was WAY off.  I was jogging at a reasonable pace, but there was no way that I burned 2000 calories in an hour.  Besides that, it was really warm in there and I had to ask the spa to use a towel because there were none available n the gym.

 

After working out, I went back to the room and took a shower.  Even though the bathroom was old and run down, I will say that there was hot water and good water pressure in the shower.  In fact, that water got so hot that I thought the top layer of my skin would be burned off!  We decided to go to La Pasta, the casual Italian restaurant for a late lunch/early dinner, which was pretty good Dining was outside, cafe style, and you went inside to fix your salad from the antipasta bar.  It  was well stocked and clean and tasty.  All of the food was great and very filling.  It was definitely not Pastafari- which is more about presentation.

 

We were tired after our meal, and it had started to rain, so we went to the room and back to sleep.  Even though it was only 5:30, we slept through the night.  Oh well, it rained all night anyway.

 

Saturday, August 11

I woke up refreshed, and went to the gym in the morning for my workout.  After exercising and showering, I smoked, and we headed to the main dining room, Victoria's Market, for breakfast. I was pretty high and ready for a good, hearty breakfast.  We were able to find a seat right away, and our waitress came to take our drink orders.  Moe tried to joke with her, and she got flustered and did not want to joke around.  While she got our drinks, we headed to the buffet.  It was clean, and beautifully presented.  There seemed to be fewer items on the buffet than at H3, but the food looked to be of better quality.  Moe got a bunch of bacon in honor of R, and we both got omelettes.  When we returned to our table, we saw that the waitress had forgotten a couple of our juices.  We tried to see if we could locate her, but she never looked our way.  Finally, we were able to flag down another waitress who got our drinks.  No one came by to refill our water during out meal.  The food, however, was great!  I don't know what the difference was in those eggs or in the technique, but the omelettes were the most delicious I've had in Jamaica- and that includes H2 (sorry, Charlie!). 

 

We went straight from breakfast to the nude pool, where we found comfortable loungers right away.  I alternated between reading my book and dozing off, as did Moe.  When the bar opened at 10am, he got drinks, and I got into the pool for a dip.  There were a good number of people out there, but it wasn't crowded at all.  Moe came in and joined me, and we got a float and paddled around the pool.  It was very relaxing.  The EC came out at about 11 and convinced a group to play water volleyball for Braco points.  We didn't play, and instead chatted with a few people.  It turns out that a lot of people at Braco secretly wanted to try out H3, but seemed to think that it was a dump in comparison to Braco.  We tried to dispel the myths, but they pretty much had their minds made up. 

 

We got into the hot tub after awhile and met a few more couples.  The water was the right temperature and very clear.  One couple was celebrating their anniversary and got a few bottles of champagne for everyone in the hot tub to share.  We had some laughs, but then it started to rain.  We stuck it out for awhile, but then the rain started coming down a little harder.  I hate being outside in the rain, so I told Moe that it was time to head inside.  While we were walking, the EC tried to get us to participate in pool trivia games, but I was ready to go. 

 

We went back to the room and ordered room service. It came in about 40 minutes and was delicious- bacon cheeseburgers, fries, a small personal pizza and a slice of cheesecake.  We discovered the refrigerator in the room and the sodas and had a great meal, then promptly fell asleep.  When we woke up, it was time to get ready for our dinner reservations at Piacerce, the French restaurant.  We got all dolled up, opened the door, and - it was pouring down rain!  We weren't sure what to do.  Finally, Moe called the reservations desk and asked if the reservation would be cancelled because we couldn't get to the restaurant while it was raining so hard.  They said that our reservation would be held, and they were trying to get umbrellas to everyone as soon as possible.  We waited for some time, but then decided to just brave the rain.  I wrapped myself in beach towels, put on flip flops, and carried my heels in my hands.  We got to the restaurant in one piece and stood out front while I changed my shoes and ditched the flip flops.

 

The restaurant was small and dark, but very romantic.  Service was attentive, but they forgot a few items.  The food was delicious, but very small portions- definitely presentation over quantity here.  After dinner, we went to the main dining room for Showtime.  There was a live band, and lots of people (including us), got up to dance.  We had a great time!  We stopped by the Piano Bar, but it was pretty dead and there was no piano player.  At about 10:30, we decided to just call it a night.  Moe woke up hungry at 2am, and ordered room service.  24 hr room service is amazing, I must say.  I didn't partake, but Moe said it was pretty good, although the fries were a little cold.

 

Sunday, August 12- Time to Leave

I got up for my last workout, smoked, and we went to Victoria's Market for our last meal.  We ate really heartily and enjoyed those great omelettes once again. Moe was scheduled for a manicure & pedicure, so I dropped him off and went to the front desk to confirm our bus time.  I headed back to the room, and smoked, then drifted off to sleep.  When Moe returned from his mani/pedi, he decided to go walk around the resort and take pictures.  I stayed n the room and ordered more room service.  I was quite pleased.  When Moe returned, it was time for the bags to be picked up.  We waited and waited, but no one came, so we lugged our stuff to the front so we wouldn't miss our bus.   The clerk was quite unapologetic about the bellman's absence saying, "Well, your bus isn't until 1, and it's only 12:35, so he had time to get your bags."  Um, you told us they'd be picked up at 12- not between 12 and 1.  Regardless, check out was smooth, and we headed to the airport.

 

MBJ was better than it has been in years past, and we checked in and made it through security with plenty of time to spare.  We saw lots of Hedo people in the airport, including M&J, who filled us in on the Hedo events that we missed after leaving.  Definitely lots of drama!  We saw Pink Cocktail on our flight to LAX (which was on time), and she said that she had a great time at H2.  No screaming babies on this flight, and we were able to sleep until our return to the states. 

 

All in All

A great trip!  We met so many fabulous people, reunited with old friends, had a beautiful ceremony, and lots of sexy fun.  We can't wait to do it again.  Our thoughts and prayers are with all of the residents and visitors in Jamaica at this time- we just missed Hurricane Dean by a week.  Hedo3 is the best!

 

Famous Lines

“Great day for a waterslide.  Hottest part of the day.”

“Pretty Ricky is what they call him”

“If I see you in LA…ooooh!”

“Monica, who dis woman?”

 Moe & Mo