First off, the past trip reports and forum
discussions were an invaluable resource to us in preparing for this trip. I’d
like to post this report as entertainment to the veterans and expand the
information base for the newbies. As good as the prior info was, there were
still some areas that I found myself unprepared, and I will attempt to address
those where appropriate. This report will focus primarily on the first day,
and our subsequent transformation into the “normal” Hedo attitude.
We traveled with one other couple from Los Angeles on an Air Jamaica redeye,
arriving in Montego Bay around 6 AM Sunday morning. I was expecting a rowdy
crowd on the bus to the resort, but it turned out to be just one other person
in a small van for the trip. I was also expecting the worst with regards to
the roads and driving conditions, but since I have driven in the Middle East,
Africa and Europe, I found the drive uneventful. Of course the stop for the
obligatory Red Stripe was a fine and welcome primer for what was to come.
Arrival at the resort was around 9:30, and based on the info from this board,
I was expecting to wait for check in. I was pleasantly surprised to find our
rooms ready immediately, and we quickly retreated there for a much-needed
shower and change of clothes. To digress for a moment: As I am a bit of a
control freak by nature, I spent a bunch of time researching the “perfect”
room, but ultimately gave in and went with the “run of house” option. I
figured leaving the room selection to chance would add to the fun of the whole
experience. As it turns out, we were assigned the 500 building, and I couldn’t
have been happier. Taking a shower with the windows wide open to the beautiful
Jamaican climate was a liberating experience for us. More on the rooms – The
hot water was sometimes difficult to regulate, but we never had a cold shower.
I would never even mention it, except for the many previous complaints on this
board. Also, the air conditioner would sometimes leak buckets of water on the
floor, but the fix seemed to be to keep the damn windows closed and the air
off when out of the room. We never found the A/C to be incapable of cooling us
off at night, and the condensation (and subsequent leakage) was fully
manageable in this way. Service of the rooms was slower than you might expect
in the States, but I was prepared for “Jamaican time”, and found it quite
acceptable in all cases.
OK, time to drink! As it was still morning when we hit the main bar, I ordered
up one of these Dirty Banana things that I heard so much about… WOW! What a
great drink! Certainly a little heavy for all day consumption, but they
quickly became a morning ritual. Struck up a conversation with the first
person I saw (she was waiting for the bus to leave), and found a great person
instantly. In fact, as soon as she found out we had just arrived, she offered
her “supplies” from the prior week. I’ll not go further into details about the
nature of the supplies, but you vets know… Anyway, after a few more drinks, we
were all feeling pretty good – and hungry. We hit the main buffet line for
some quick eats and I found the selection and quality better than I expected.
Not five star by any means, but like the room, quite acceptable.
Now that we are a little drunk and fully fed, it is time to hit the pool and
scope out the scene. Of course, the prude side is COMPLETELY deserted, and we
aren’t ready to get naked yet (if ever), so we venture over to the Quad. Seems
like a happening scene, so we park and the wives go topless in public for the
first time in their lives. Once we realize that no one seems to be pointing,
laughing, making a scene, we start to relax a bit. More drinks follow, and
after some good conversation with new friends, it’s time for an afternoon nap
(we have been awake for 30+ hours by now). We left the other couple with a
promise to meet for dinner and went to the room for a few hours.
At the appointed time, we rose and prepared for the evening. I met a great
couple in the bar who were unfortunately leaving the next day. We seemed to be
cut from the same cloth and they talked us through the whole Hedo experience
including the “getting naked in public thing”. “All in your head”, they both
agreed. It was a great comfort to speak to them. Anyway, dinner was again at
the main buffet, followed by more drinks and eventually, the piano bar. I’m
not much for sing-alongs and that sort of thing, but in an attempt to go with
the flow, we did sit front and center for a while. Then our wives were
summoned to stand on the piano and they put on a little show together. It was
perhaps a “PG-13” rated performance, and I think it shocked one or two prudes
(they got up and left), but the vast majority in the room apparently “got it”
and enjoyed the moment. I realize that the disco is now open, so we make a
hasty retreat to the room to change. The disco is fun and we spend a few hours
there until we step outside for a rest. At this point, the Hedo we have read
about starts to become apparent. We get talked into doing the slide by a
completely naked female and some companions. Her sales pitch must have been
convincing, because we soon found ourselves plunging down the waterslide
without a stitch of clothing in sight. First time EVER in public, naked! Even
the conspicuous walk up the stairs, past the disco and down the slide over and
over, was not uncomfortable. I have to say, that first naked waterslide is NOT
to be missed! Still going with the flow, we are led to the Quad hot tub
(because, our naked leader explains, the nude one is currently crowded and a
“biohazard”). We find ourselves alone in this tub (my wife and I, and our
leader with three gentlemen), and our leader wants to demonstrate a particular
brand of lubricant. Ultimately we sat across the tub from this, our first,
open PDA trying to get this to register in our minds. We retired after a while
with me receiving nothing more than a pat on the butt from the fearless leader
(but she did ask my wife first). So there it was – the Hedo open sex stories
are true. But what was also true is the fact that it is completely voluntary
and respectful. You have to look for it, and you can go as far as you want and
stop any time. Seems like a quite manageable risk.
With the first day on the books, we had seen a lot, but the transformation was
not yet complete. We still had not ventured over to the “other side”.
Breakfast with our traveling companions revealed that when we went to nap the
day before, THEY went to the nude pool. They had “one upped” us! It was then
decided that we would meet over at the nuddie side and have a go of it. When
we arrived, we found the place packed, with hardly a lounger to be found. In
fact, we all shared one as a place to stick our clothes. I won’t lie; getting
undressed in front of our friends and strangers in broad daylight was
uncomfortable – the first time. However, as with the topless experience in the
quad pool, life continued on as normal at the nude pool despite the arrival of
us four naked newbies. After a few drinks, a pool volleyball game started and
we were asked to join in. This turned out to be a great icebreaker and I
quickly became comfortable. Long story short, we never saw the quad or prude
side again - too many great people and too much fun on the nude side to miss
out.
So there you have it. We are a conservative, non-lifestyle, but open minded
couple who got naked and had a great time at Hedo!
Some random observations:
This is not a five star resort, so don’t come expecting you to be waited on
hand and foot. If this is a problem for you, find another resort. While we
found the facilities and the food to be above our expectations, 90% of the
Hedo experience is meeting great people, staff and guests alike. While this is
not true of all people we met, the good FAR outweighed the bad. Hedo is a
social experience, first and foremost.
Talk to everyone you see, and treat them all with respect. From the guests to
the leaf blower guys, they may not all reciprocate, but most will, and you
will feel much better in the end.
Everyone is allowed to have a bad day, even the staff. Don’t make it worse by
making a scene if they can’t remember your name, are slow, or mess up an
order. Just relax and go with it.
Early in our trip, a group of calendar girls showed up to shoot some pictures.
I met several and found them to be delightful, while others… Well, not so
much. Oh well. I found it funny that the few that DID venture over to the
“fun” side seemed very self conscious about their bodies. I could carry on a
conversation with my decidedly non-perfect body exposed for all to see, yet
these girls who make their living based on physical appearance would cross
their arms in front of their breasts and leave their bottoms on unless safely
hidden in the water. Kids…
Ladies, bring slutwear for dinner! I enjoyed the spectacle of my wife bringing
all conversation to a halt at the main bar on more than one occasion. Fun
stuff!
Yes, like any hotel, stuff can and will disappear from your room. If it
doesn’t fit in the safe and it is valuable, you should have left it home.
We took a day trip over to the resort down the street. We found it to be a
much larger and better facility, but going topless on the beach (gasp!)
creates stares, controversy, and photographs. Not cool. Also, greeting guests
there as one would do at Hedo normally results in polite, but strained
responses. Seems like it was a large resort full of people that wanted to be
alone. Quite a contrast to Hedo!
Some less than pleasant experiences included a single guy who made a run at
many women the whole time we were there. He was dismissed by us early, but
watching him jump from girl to girl was a bit sad because his smooth, yet
pathetic approach seemed to work on some. Ultimately, he became the laughing
stock of the resort. There were also a few lurkers, and though I didn't see it
first hand, one guy in the hot tub was a little too caught up in the moment
watching a couple go at it. He was clearly interested in the guy, and was run
out of the place by the rest of the group. Either leave, or take a beating, I
guess...
Finally, I was disapointed to hear of newfound single female friends getting
very innappropriate comments by the staff. Show me your crotch for a drink,
etc.
Aside from those few exceptions, the experience was great!
All for now, ready to book again!
10 months and counting….
Michael & Diane - Desert
Dwellers