Steve & Dezel

We flew American Airlines, through Miami. Long day, but pretty uneventful. We arrived in MoBay on time and got through immigration and customs very quickly. They seemed to be running a really smooth operation there. We checked in at the Superclubs desk and within 15 minutes we were on a rickety minivan to Hedo. The driver was great about avoiding big potholes, and we didn’t make any pit stops along the way, which was great because we were in a hurry to just get there already!! We met a nice couple on the bus on the way there, Pink and Dave, and this was also their first trip to Hedo3, so the four of us spent time perusing the Superclubs flier to see what all was included with our trip. Everyone (except for poor pregnant me) was excited to see that almost all watersports were included. More on that later.

I had called H3 a couple of weeks prior to our getting there and had requested a first floor room because I didn’t want to risk falling up or down stairs (I’m clumsy and even more so while pregnant). They didn’t have any available, but the lady who helped at check-in was kind of pissy when I told her I had requested one. Basically it was, “no, none available, here are your keys, bye.” Whatever, we had a 2^nd floor room in the Quad, and it was fine. I was just extra careful when on the stairs, no problem.

The room was great. I did a search for mold, found none. The bed was comfortable, the bathroom was clean, etc. The air conditioner worked great, but we pretty much left that off and kept the windows open. We came from a snowy place, so the warm humid air was a welcome relief. The only beef with keeping the windows open was that the Quad has very good acoustics, so all the sounds carried. No big in the middle of the night, as we are sound sleepers, but morning quad talkers tended to wake us up earlier than we wanted. Next time we’d probably request an ocean view room.

Breakfast was consistently good. The omelet bar was fantastic, we had one every morning. There was a nice variety of stuff to choose from. Lunches and dinners were good for the most part. Just like with any buffet, some items are a hit and others a miss. Desserts were more beautiful than delicious. We didn’t care too much, we weren’t there for the food and we NEVER went hungry. We missed out on Pastafari (kept forgetting to make reservations), but I heard good things about it. We did get to eat at Munasan and it was GREAT. Prompt seating, large portions (I couldn’t finish mine), courteous and attentive staff. Dessert was nice looking, but not too good. We also ate at Reggae Café (Scotch Bonnet) a few times. Steve liked the jerk chicken sandwich. I really loved the jerk pork (sooooo good!) and the patties (pastry wrapped, spicy beef patties). And there was where we found the Busha Brown’s Spicy Jerk Sauce. Hella good, we bought 3 bottles of it in town, because we weren’t sure if we’d find it at home. J Didn’t get a chance to sample the nachos at the nude grill, but I heard those were good as well.

Staff/Entertainment

Everyone (with the exception of one waitress at Scotch Bonnet and the front desk lady at checkin) was fabulous. The bartenders were prompt and attentive, as were the wait staff in the terrace. The EC’s were good. I saw a few lunchtime spins (I think that’s what they’re called) and they were able to get people playing. The nude side games were more hit or miss, but I think that’s mostly because the people on the nude side were more interested in playing in the pool or relaxing, not so much in playing games. The staff tried, but if people didn’t want to play, they weren’t pushy about it. The evening entertainment was alright. The best were the fashion and dance shows put on by the EC’s. Poor Steve forgot his glasses in the room on the night of the fashion show, which was a shame because he missed out on seeing lots of lovely Jamaican booty. J He didn’t forget them again!! On Toga/Talent Show night, there were a few dance routines that were amazing. The girls are simply gorgeous with killer bodies, and they KNOW how to shake it. The guys also did a great dance, and they were shaking EVERYTHING. Good stuff. Also, a lot of the staff was super sweet about my pregnancy. Lots of belly rubs and speculation over whether it was a girl or a boy. Most of them guessed boy (but they are wrong!).

Can’t say much about this, as we didn’t participate too much in the theme nights. The only one we did was Toga night and what fun it was! I was about 7 weeks away from having my baby, so I didn’t count on a twin sheet making a very good toga. We brought our own fabric and we were able to come up with a decent maternity toga for me. With fun accessories and an afro wig, we were ready to roll. The toga party was great fun. The EC’s were great at getting everyone out of their seats and in the toga parade. We paraded across the stage, and through the terrace and ended up on the dance floor. There were several toga contests. Sexiest toga, Best couple, and Ugliest Toga. Steve and I won for best couple, woohoo!! I think it was the bare belly and afro wig that did it. J I won a bottle of rum cream which I fully intend to suck down as soon as this baby’s born. I think we’ll be toasting the birth with rum cream at the hospital! Count on it! J The other theme nights I saw people dress up for were the PJ party and Pimp and Ho. Lots of sexy outfits. I wish I could have been comfortable enough to join in, maybe next time…

Unfortunately, I was really limited as to what I could do. My daily activities pretty much consisted of eating, drinking non-alcoholic drinks, and chilling out on the nude side with a book. Steve, on the other hand, was a regular over at the water sports shack. He got resort certified for scuba for $75 and then was able to go out on dives daily. He thought it was money well spent. He also went out wakeboarding (instead of waterskiing) daily, and loved it. He would have the boat to himself and he was able to work on his tricks in preparation for Summer. The Water Sports staff were great, according to Steve. They were courteous and accommodating. He said they never acted like they were sick of seeing him (even though he was there a couple of times a day) and in one case, the boat was out and Steve couldn’t go wakeboarding, but when the boat came back, one of the guys came and found Steve to ask if he was ready to go out. How great is that? Steve also did the waterslide, said it was fun. Lucky dog. Next time.

We took one trip off of the resort. We just went into Ocho Rios to shop. We were able to negotiate deals that we were very happy with. We bought rum cream, coffee, spices and some random souvenirs. We compared the prices to the gift shop on the resort and we saved a LOT of money, even after factoring in the $15 it costs for the bus ride into town. We got coffee for almost half of what they were charging at H3, and we bought a lot of it, so that alone was worth the trip.

Socially Speaking

Prior to leaving for H3, we set up a Yahoo group for people traveling there in March. Thanks to that group and to the visitor’s schedule, we already had friends to look for once we got there. Shout outs to the following peeps, please keep in touch! It was a real pleasure meeting you in person and seeing you naked. J Just kidding.

Elias and his dancing shoes

And the two couples we played Scattergories with in the terrace that night, I’m sorry to have forgotten names!

There were others from the group who were there at the same time, but we never got to meet.

Checkout was no problem. We ended up paying about $20 for all of our calls home, which is SO much cheaper than we would have paid had we used our cell or a calling card. We just left a credit card number at the front desk and dialed direct. We called home probably about 4 times during our trip and the conversations didn’t feel too short, so I was surprised the we didn’t end up paying more. The van ride home was torture. The driver seemed to hit every pothole and bump in the road, and had several close calls with other cars. I honestly started to fear that I’d go into labor on the way to the airport. We had to stop by Trelawny Starfish to pick up two people on the way, which made the ride really cramped, but we all survived it. The line at the airport was loooooong, but we got to chatting with a couple from Florida and it flew by. We asked where they had stayed while in Jamaica and their answer? “Negril.” J I wonder which resort they stayed in? Teeeeheeee….. When they asked where we stayed we fessed up to H3, no raised eyebrows. The flight was fine, but when we arrived in Miami, it was pure chaos. The lines at Immigration were RIDICULOUSLY long, and when we finally made it to the front, we figured out why our line was moving so slow. The guy who was checking passports was making small talk. “You’re from Colorado, have you ever been to South Park? Isn’t that where Chef is from? I used to live in California.” Blah blah blah, shut the hell up and stamp my passport before I miss my connecting flight, please. Then we had to locate our bags, which had been there so long that they had been taken off the conveyor belt and stacked in a pile in the corner. Customs was pretty quick. Then when we tried to get our bags checked through to Denver, we got redirected to a ticket agent for American. So much time had passed that we were about to miss my connecting flight. And the next direct flight to Denver wasn’t leaving until 8PM the next day. We could have taken a 6am flight with THREE connections to get home the next day… Anyway, there were about 15 of us and some people got IRATE. Finally a ticket agent called the gat and asked them to hold the plane for us. Steve and I were the last to board, thanks to me having to drag this belly through MIA. But we made it home on schedule. Our luggage was a different story….

Here are a few observations I had and posted on the message board upon my return (with a few modifications). These are just my opinions, and are open for debate on the message board. I just didn’t want to leave anything out.

Pregnant at H3 – My conclusion

Well, I was worried about nothing. I did not go into labor while in Jamaica, taking off my top on the nude side was easy (I got away with leaving my bottoms on the whole time), and I never felt like anyone looked at me weird for being largely pregnant there. I guess at one point there was a whisper about "is she or isn't she pregnant" but once word got out, everyone was super sweet to me, asking when I was due, names, how I was feeling, etc. I even got a bunch of belly rubs, which I love. :-) Having said all this, I would not go back pregnant again because it was torture not to drink. I got a little taste of my husband's dirty banana and about lost my mind with jealousy! I drank lots of water and virgin drinks. Also, while going pregnant, I tired out pretty early so didn't go to the disco, and because of the smoking, I had to stay out of the piano bar. And I had to pass on the water slide, hot tub, trapeze and all water sports. Not a waste of money, but not the best way to get the most out of an all-inclusive resort. Having said all this, I had an amazing time.

When we were there, we met two GREAT single guys from New Jersey. We asked what brought them there and they said their travel agent sold them a bill of goods. They told her they wanted an all inclusive, party atmosphere, with spring breakers and single people. Their travel agent pumped up H3 as the place to be during spring break for singles, esp with HedoMadness there this week. It's such bullshit. I'd be so pissed if I were them. They were making the best of it and having a good time, but they were really hoping to meet some single ladies. They said they had also been talking to other single guys there and they got the same story. They said one night about 6 single guys were fighting over the one single girl. I also met two single girls while I was there who had won the trip, they were lovely girls with boyfriends at home, so the guys were SOL with those girls.

These travel agents who do this should be shot. They need to either inform themselves about Hedo, or if they are already informed, they need to stop BS'ing their clients. We stopped by Trelawny Starfish resort (a family resort) on the way back to pick up some people, and I saw loads of college students there. In fact, one of the girls on the bus appeared to have hooked up while there (I was eavesdropping). Seems like even that would be a better place for spring breakers than Hedo. This is not an indictment of single guys, these guys were great. My only point is that if single guys are thinking they’re going to H3 to hook up with single girls and get laid lots, they might be out of luck. I’ve heard that lots of times a single guy with the right attitude can hook up with someone else’s date, but these guys weren’t looking for that. They made the best of it, but it wasn’t the vacation they had in mind.

Steve & Dezel - March, 2006