Trip Report – Brent & Jayne - “Thrillseekers”
Hedonism III – virgin trip.
March 11 – 18, 2006
Well, after much reading, research and preparation, we finally made it to Hedo III. We were not disappointed. This place met and exceeded our expectations.
We arrived in Mobay to be greeted by a host of Jamaican people, all of whom made us feel very welcome; from the immigrations & customs officers to the fellow that took our baggage off the carousel for us. At the time, we had no idea that the happy and friendly Jamaican demeanour would prove itself over and over and over again during the next 7 days.
1st Observation: Jamaican people are an extremely happy and friendly bunch.
We were then shown to the Superclubs meeting room which was very crowded but amazingly efficient with the handling of numerous people’s baggage to numerous different resorts. This is where we met our first couple of friends who we had actually met via internet prior to our trip. We were escorted to the buses which turned out to be oversized minivans where we met with our first opportunity to purchase illegal substances. Curiosity got the better of us and we wanted to learn more. We did not buy, but it was interesting to find out that what starts at $250 for something can easily come down to $160 within 4 minutes flat.
2nd Observation: Illegal substances are very easy to get and the price is very negotiable.
We then started the notorious drive to Hedo III. No, we did not sing “The Wheels on the Bus”. Not because we are no longer children, but because we were not sure if the wheels were actually going “round and round”. Very bumpy ride. I had to pee. Seemed even bumpier than what it was.
3rd Observation: Roads are extremely bumpy in places. Make sure you pee at the airport before embarking on bus trip to resort.
We made the traditional stop for Red Stripe and a stretch. I politely asked if there was a bathroom I could use, expecting (after seeing the impoverished homes of the average Jamaican from the window of the bus) to find myself in a fly infested outhouse or something. Not the case. I was taken to an extremely clean, although small, bathroom with toilet and running water. I was pleasantly surprised. And……relieved.
4th Observation: In spite of what appearances may imply, there is running water and clean bathrooms along the route to the resort.
We arrived at the resort at about 8:00 p.m. It took a very long time to check in. Why is that? We have had this holiday booked for over 6 months. It’s not like they didn’t know we were coming! Weren’t they expecting us or something? The lengthy check in time is a mystery. I have heard many people speak of this mystery, but was unable to uncover any clue as to its cause. While we waited, my s/o got us a drink at the Main Bar. Rum and coke. Choke Choke! Very strong. Drank “foo-foo” drinks the rest of the trip. Man that Jamaican Rum is strong! (or is it that pop just costs more $$ I am told? Either way – can’t handle straight mixed drinks at this place.)
5th Observation: Highballs are not like back home. Drink “foo-foo” drinks when on holiday at Hedo.
We acquainted ourselves with our room and then set out to find some food, only to find that the buffet had just been taken down. “No problem” I hear from a young lad. “I’ll see if I can find you something.” We wander around the main restaurant and bar thinking we’ll never catch up with this fellow again only to find that a few minutes later he approached us with a tray of two plates of jerk beef, rice and salad along with two glasses of ice water. He found us! We took the tray to our room and pigged out. What service! Thank you Sean!
The rest of the first night is a bit foggy. I do have the odd flashback of me gyrating and grinding with Blaze on a dance floor somewhere. That’s about all I remember. (But OH! What a memory it is!!!)
6th Observation: Blaze is an exceptionally example of a very fine specimen of a man.
The first morning, I awoke to my head pounding and my honey coaxing me to get up and go to sit in the sun at the nude pool. I wish it had been the other way around. Needless to say, at the ungodly hour of 7:45 a.m. I found myself sleeping on a deck chair at the nude pool. Well, at least I could sleep off my hangover and get tanned at the same time. Bonus!
7th Observation: It is just as easy to sleep in late & hung-over on a deck chair as it is to stay in bed and waste a glorious day in the lovely Jamaican sun. Taking the few steps from the room to the pool to do this was truly worth the effort.
My blissful sleep was soon interrupted by my loving honey, who is perpetually hungry, asking me if I wanted to eat lunch. Sure, what the heck – the nausea is gone now.
Ambulatory, we strode over to the main dining room where we met up with some of our radio station acquaintances and were introduced to the lunch buffet. Well, I thought my nausea was gone……fruit was very fresh, coffee was divine.
Back to the nude pool, but not before picking up a drink from the main bar to be finished entirely before getting there. Guess we should get another before we get back to the important business of sun tanning and napping by the pool. Priorities you know.
8th Observation: OK, I am actually here. I am actually here! I AM ACTUALLY HERE!
Later in the day, we had the opportunity to make arrangements for diving and meet with the dive shop staff. Did I mention how everybody is happy, friendly and smiling all the time? Could it be because they live in heaven and work in paradise? Do ‘ya think? We spent the rest of the evening socializing, meeting new friends and getting to know our way around. Feeling like this is home already.
9th Observation: We felt like this was home and we belonged altogether too soon. Are we hooked already? It has been less than 24 hours. Boy, were we in for a surprise!
What can I really say about the next 6 days that haven’t already been said? The place is indeed magical and like no other place on this planet we call Earth. To say it is “liberating” is a gross understatement, although altogether too true. To say it is “sexually charged” breeds stereotype, the kind so many have tried to avoid. To say it is “inspirational” may be the closest of all descriptions. This place inspires, love, joy, pleasure, acceptance, respect, fun, sexual activity, and on and on and on. The magic is there. Anybody who doesn’t see it must be blind as it is all there right before your eyes. And “being open-minded” or “thinking outside the box” really has nothing to do with it. It happens, no matter where our minds may be. It happens. Boston Mike you were so right when you told us to let the vacation come to us. Thank you.
10th Observation: The place comes to you and embraces you. Resistance is futile.
OK, with my 10 most significant observations said, I’ll go on to the “other stuff”. ‘Ya know, the technical/boring stuff.
Rooms/mold, etc.:
When we first entered our room, it smelled musty. Why wouldn’t it? It’s a hot and humid place this place they call Jamaica. Duh? We turned on the A/C and all was well within minutes. I saw no mold. There was only one problem tho – a BIG problem. Why oh why is the light switch and ceiling fan on the same toggle? That drove me right up the wall! I asked everybody I spoke to and not all the rooms are like that (good, I’ll make a specific request for one of those rooms next time). OK, you are thinking what’s the big deal, right? Well, it is a HUGE BIG deal! Getting ready in the bathroom and the fan is whrrrring and you can’t hear yourself think let alone hear the person in the next room. Getting up in the middle of the night to pee……whrrrrrr. Jacuzzi? Forget it! Wrrrrr. – not a very romantic ambience! I swear if I knew where the electrical box was I would have changed the damn thing myself. If there was only one thing I could change about my holiday it would be this. No issue to some people, but a biggy for me.
Towels/hot water/deck chairs:
There were always enough towels, deck chairs (nude pool & beach), floats, etc. Sometimes when the room was cleaned there were not enough towels available to replace all those used, but at least two were left along with a note that she would be back with the rest and she always came back.
There was always enough hot water. However, I saw patterns in the ‘flow’ of the place which would indicate that hot water may be a problem at various different times of the day. Different times to when I took my showers, so if hot water was a problem; it was not with me.
Staff:
Did I mention the staff are very friendly and happy? Can’t mention this enough. They are the hardest working people I have ever seen, in spite of the “no problem mon” thing and appearance of being overly laid back and slow. Look beyond what you see on the surface!!!.. They are an extremely hard working group of staff. I should be so lucky to work with such a conscientious group of employees.
Food:
The food is adequate. Filled the spot. Nothing to write home about but who is there for the food anyway? If I wanted to go on a vacation where cuisine is the focus, I’d go to France. The Japanese Restaurant was great! Don’t remember the name of our chef, but she was fantastic! Hootin’ & hollerin’. Having a great time and getting into it. Got us right into it too. Did I mention the happy people that work at Hedo? OK, I think you got it on this point….. Pastafari was also really good. Nolla was the greatest! I’m a bit hard of hearing and she was fabulous! I could hear and understand every word she said and she looked at me when she spoke like a person should and spoke clearly with a smile that was second to none. Thanks Nolla! You are one person I will definately look for on my next trip. Ate at Scotch Bonnet only once. Jerk Chicken was great, but I don’t eat fries & other unhealthy foods, so it could have been better with something else other than fries. Never thought to ask – my fault.
Common areas:
Cleanliness of the restrooms is unbelievable! Every one was clean every time I used it. (and I use them a LOT). Always toilet paper. Always towels. Day or night. Here or there. Always in good shape. This is something that is very important to me. Everyone has their thing & this is mine. I was very, very impressed! This alone would be enough to sway me never to return if I had found even one bathroom dirty or lacking. My pet peeve. But……no problem mon!!!
The bars on the other hand were just the opposite. Granted, they are working fast and furious, constantly making drinks without any lull in activity, so it is very difficult to keep the environment clean. But, they really stunk of spilled booze, probably because the leftover drinks are just tossed into a floor drain from 6 feet away. I was very surprised to learn that the glasses are all hand washed. Not so sanitary. Then they go to great lengths with the individually wrapped straws to ensure their hands don’t touch the straw! A bit contradictory if you ask me.
Security:
I was ever aware of the presence of security. This did not bother me. After what happened in Mexico, I have no complaints about a security officer being around every corner. Fine with me. (And yes, they DO jump out of the bushes!!!haha) As for thinking of them as the “sex police” I never heard or saw them policing those types of activities. In fact, one evening my s/o & I spent a lovely time on a raft at the nude beach under the stars. Security politely waited until we returned to shore to tell us that we were not supposed to be in the water at the beach at that time of night. No mention that we were making our own waves.
Being nude:
I have not done this before. Like all the Hedo Vetrans have posted time after time after time – 5 minutes took care of that. Never looked back.
PDA’s:
Yes, we saw some and some saw us……a bit of a charge really. Definitely part of the charm and lure of Hedo. Without this aspect, the place would not be the same. PDA’s Rock! Please let’s not beat this issue up and make it so we can’t have the freedom we enjoy now in this area. It CAN be done and still respect others around you.
Vinnies & Wallies & Single Males & College Kids: Leave it alone already! Sure there were some, but how about that Respect thing everybody talks about and the fist to fist “Respect” that is touted as almost a Jamaican motto? Even Vinnies and Wallies deserve respect. It’s not their fault they are social idiots!!! Respect them for their difference and let it go already. And single people add some spice and balance. Couples can be clingy, so it is a nice change of scenery to talk to someone single. Let it be. If they do something disrespectful THEN worry about it, but don’t paint them all with the same brush as that is unfair. (Stepping off my soap box now…)
Activities:
You can never be bored at Hedo. We got certified for Open Water Diving which was a goal for us outside of the tanning, partying and sex. We actually accomplished something and are proud of it. There are so many activities and things to do for a welcome change from the perpetual boinking. It’s nice to come up for air once in a while. (yeah, ok, bad pun. Scuba diving, coming up for air…….)
Friendships: Those made here will last a lifetime. Mark my words. Another mystery about this magic place.
Dez and Steve – love ‘ya. Can’t wait to see a pic of Kendal when she is born.
CJ & Steve – love is better on the other side. Keep making puppies…..!!
Yana and Dennis – What can I say? You are a lovely couple. Hope to hear from you very soon!
Scott and Nina – sorry we didn’t get to know you better – way better. Keep in touch.
On love. I cannot say enough how this place is unique to itself. Every strong and healthy couple should go here at least once in their lifetime. This will strengthen your love beyond belief. This will remind you how lucky you are to be in love with the person you are in love with. Do not go to this place if your relationship is on the rocks in any way.
I am one of the lucky ones. I have a great man who loves me to pieces. Hedomadness and all the ‘perfect’ plasticized bodies of the strippers were not enough for him to take his eyes off me. And for me, I love the perfect specimens of the Jamaican men, but at the end of the day, my heart belongs to my honey. His scent, his eyes, his smile. The smoothness of his skin and the firmness of his very muscular body and….other parts. All were enhanced by Hedo’s magic. Is it possible to leave even more in love than when you arrived? Most definitely!
Return to Hedo? Do you really have to ask? We “got it”.
Sung to the tune of Roger Whittaker’s “Last Farewell”
There's a
plane parked rigged and ready in the airport
Tomorrow for Jamaica she flies
Far away to your land of endless sunshine
From my land full of ice and snowy skies
And I shall
be aboard that plane tomorrow
And my heart is full of butterflies again
For you are beautiful
And I have loved you dearly
More dearly than the spoken word can tell
I heard there's a wicked guy named Blaze
And the taste of Blaze I know so very well
Even now I see my temperature a rising
His buns on fire as we fly into paradise
I have no fear of booze; it brings no sorrow
But how bitter will be the next farewell
For you are beautiful
And I have loved you dearly
More dearly than the spoken word can tell
Though my eviction notice was delivered today
And my return flight be too close to believe
I shall smell again the fragrance of these islands
In the heaving turbulence that brought me once to thee
And should I return safe home again to Hedo
I shall watch the Jamaican sun shine through the trees
For you are beautiful
And I have loved you dearly
More dearly than the spoken word can tell.
Corny? Maybe. But you get the idea.
Jayne and Brent (Thrillseekers)