“First time jitters dispelled”

A real person’s real world advice for impending Hedo virgins

 

By Woofie

 

I originally wrote this as a response to a posting on DennyP’s Hedo 3 message board.  Due to some nudging and cajoling by Denny Et AL I was compelled to submit it as a trip report.

 The original question was asked by a woman who wanted to book a Hedo vacation but her husband was having doubts…   a lot of doubts…  mostly pertaining to nudity and  the sexually charged atmosphere reputed to exist at the hedonism resorts.  She asked us for some advice as to how she might lay his fears to rest.  I responded as such: 

My suggestion for your husband’s insecurities is to get him reading DennyP’s message board.  The more he gets to know us  (The regular stable of posters on the boards)  the more comfortable he will become with the “Hedo crowd” even if none of us will personally be there during your trip,  we are a pretty good representation of the typical Hedo guest. 

As far as the whole nervousness about being naked thing, the best I can do is relate our own first time experience. 

The first time we went to Hedo3 was not by our own choice.  We booked the Superclubs Super Surprise package.  For those of you unfamiliar with this it is a grab-bag deal.  You pay a bargain rate but you don’t get to choose your resort.  Superclubs has several excellent resorts in Jamaica and only two of them are “Hedonism” resorts,  so we figured the odds of us landing at one of them was pretty slim.

Oh boy were we in for a shock!  When we were informed that we were going to Hedonism 3 we were terrified!

 “Oh my god!  What have we gotten ourselves into?”

 As the trip loomed closer,  our apprehension and fear grew steadily worse.  Doubts and insecurities flurried around in our heads. 

“What if people see us naked?”

“What if the swingers descend upon us like vampires intent upon “turning” us?”

 “What if we’re not as attractive as everyone else?”

And for me – “What if my thingy isn’t as big as the other guys’ ?”

“What if my spouse sees someone more attractive than me and leaves me for them?”

“What if the swingers swoop down while my back is turned and steal my spouse off to join an orgy?”

Etc. etc. etc. 

These were very real fears that were plaguing us in the days leading up to our trip.   We even briefly considered canceling the trip altogether!  Fortunately our miserly side vanquished those thoughts.  There’s no way we could afford to just throw that kind of money away.   Nevertheless we left for the resort having no plans whatsoever to get naked or even set foot on the nude side.

On the bus ride to the resort, we were seated next to another couple who were very friendly and started chatting with us.  They had been to Hedo2 a few times and had decided to try Hedo3.  When they discovered that it was our first trip and we explained our trepidation to them  they actually laughed at us!  They then set about reassuring us that we had absolutely nothing to be afraid of!  They spent most of the ride answering our questions and attempting to dispel our fears.  When we arrived they made us promise that we would at least try the nude side,  again assuring us that our fears were groundless and that the longer we waited to get naked the more upset we would be with ourselves for not doing it sooner. 

In a nutshell – They were right!  It took us two days to work up the nerve to get naked.  Since then we’ve never looked back!  (except to laugh at ourselves for being squeamish>)   By the end of our trip we were already working on when and how we could book our next trip! 

Now, let me address some of those aforementioned fears, because I believe that many of them are pretty universal for first timers. 

“What if people see me naked?”

Yes, people are going to see you naked.  Guess what?   They’re naked too!  Trust me,  it’s not like that dream you keep having where you’re naked at school or work.  Nobody is staring at you.  There is really no way to explain to someone the concept of “it’s not about seeing naked people, it’s about being naked”.  Once you are there, you will understand,  until then you are just going to have to trust us.  It will only be uncomfortable for about a minute or so, after that you’re gonna laugh at yourself for having been nervous in the first place. 

“What if the swingers descend upon us like vampires etc. etc.?”

Contrary to what most people seem to think (myself included)  swingers are not some sort of sexual jehova’s witnesses intent upon converting everybody else over to the “dark side”.   There will indeed be swingers there at the resort,  however they will not be aggressive towards you in the slightest.  If there’s one thing they have a knack for, it’s the ability to immediately sense whether or not someone else is “on the same page  as them” so to speak.   They will however, be some of the friendliest, most fun people you’re likely to meet.  Chances are you will meet people and spend the entire week chatting with them, having dinner with them, sitting in the piano bar with them,  find out that you have all sorts of stuff in common and never suspect that they are “into that sort of thing”.  They just aren’t the predators that so many people seem to have decided they must be. 

“What if we’re not as attractive as everyone else?”

You won’t be,  but then again,  you  won’t be as unattractive as everyone else either.  There’s going to be every human variation there from the drop dead beautiful to the scarred and wrinkled.  And everything in between.  Most folks at Hedo fall somewhere in the middle.  The thing is,  nobody’s keeping score.  Nobody’s judging.  We’re all just regular people,  having a good time in the sun.  The fact that we’re naked really isn’t all that big a deal.  But you’re going to have to find that out empirically before you believe me. 

“What if my thingy doesn’t “measure up”  ?”

Again I say: “It really doesn’t matter!”  yes, there’s going to be someone there who is bigger.  There will also be smaller ones than your’s.  the overwhelming majority are roughly the same.  Not to mention the fact that they all pretty much look the same while in their “relaxed” state.  But seriously, nobody’s comparing,  honestly! 

“What if my spouse sees someone more attractive than me and leaves me for them?”

All I can say to this is: they see people more attractive than you every day at work, at the mall,  etc. etc..  They’re not running up and carrying those lovelies off to the bedroom  are they?  Being naked is not going to change that. Your spouse is there with the person they love most in the whole world.  They are not about to suddenly have second thoughts just because they saw someone in the altogether. 

What if the swingers swoop in and steal my spouse off to join in an orgy?”

Well, after six return trips,  that hasn’t happened yet.  Frankly, I think she’s almost a little disappointed. 

In closing,  let me give you my most comforting thoughts regarding being naked in front of others for the first time. 

“You don’t know any of those people, and you’re never going to see them again, so there’s really nothing to be afraid, nervous, embarrassed about,  now is there?

 Go,  have the time of your lives,  and be a child again for a week!

 Mark (Woofie)