This is our first trip report, and our second time to H3. Like some of the other trip reports, we will not name all the wonderful people that we met due to we met so many, that we wouldn’t want to leave anyone out. I hope that this helps others, especially those that have never been. These trip reports are how Lisa and I decided to go in the first place.
The flight was fine. Lisa was feeling a bit under the weather as we got close to Mo Bay (more on that later). When we got into the airport we saw seating when we first entered the terminal. Lisa thought about sitting down there to sort of re-group, but we decided to push on to the immigration/customs area. For those that have never been to Mo Bay, we didn’t see any seating around the immigration area. Lisa actually had to ask if she could sit down in one of the vacant immigration officer chairs (yep, she almost passed out). The bus ride was fine. Got asked if I wanted any of Jamaica’s cash crop by a local about a minute after sitting down in my seat. A simple ‘no thanks, I just drink’ was sufficient enough and he moved on. I was a little miffed that the porter who took our luggage without asking (we only had 1 suitcase, which I planned to carry myself) came to the window of the bus reminding us that we didn’t tip him. Well, I didn’t really think about it since he really never asked if we wanted someone to carry our luggage. But a couple of bucks is no big deal really, and he was happy and on his way. Just a side note about packing, we brought one suitcase for the both of us for 11 days. I think that we still overpacked. The only theme nights we really packed for was toga and pj night. If we get into more of the theme nights, we may need a little more room. Back to the bus, I think there were 4 other couples on there with us. All but 1 couple were going to H3. On the way there, a guy tells the bus driver to not do the Red Stripe stop, and just get us to the resort. For about a second or two, I was thinking, ‘Who is this guy to deny me my beer stop?’. Then common sense took over and I realized that I too was ready to get to the resort ASAP…and start drinking the Red Stripe I already paid for. Good call on that one, Scott. Check in went fine even though there was no power, (had to wait in the lobby for about 10 minutes while they got us our keys), and we were in our room by about 1 pm.
It was very nice that our favorite bartender remembered us by name the instant we saw her and she gave us both a big hug. And it was funny that our housekeeper remembered that we had been there not too long ago. At first I thought she was pulling our leg (I bet you say that to everyone that is a repeat visitor/offender). But no, she remembered that we were on the 3rd floor of the 300 building last June. It is those kind of small things that add to the reasons that we will continue to come back, even if there is a lack of hot water. J That, and being naked all day and the partying and the quiet relaxing (if you want to); that will keep us coming back as well.
The rest of the 11 days were somewhat a blur, and keeping them in a chronological order might be a bit challenging. So I will mention things as they randomly pop into my head. Some of our views and opinions are just that; the way we saw things. Others may have another perspective. Our room was 3rd floor of building 100 (quad pool). We were on the 3rd floor of the quad last time, and actually kinda enjoy it. The room was fine, except that when you turned on the hot water for the shower, water squirted out of the cold water knob as well. We alerted maintenance and our housekeeper. Sad to say, but it didn’t get fixed until the people below us complained that their bathroom was getting leaked on by us. Also, out of the 11 days there, I think we actually had HOT water maybe 3 days. Some days if you turned on all hot and no cold, it would be almost lukewarm. I heard that people had already notified maintenance and that they were working on it. Yes it sucked not having hot water, but we were on vacation and figured it could be a lot worse. I wondered that since it is all inclusive, would they have a person from the kitchen bring me pots of boiling water to fill my tub. Also wondered what management would have said if I took some soap and headed to the hot tub. Hey, the water is sometimes hot there. J Since I mentioned it, it has been said before and we will reiterate it, the hot tub temperature is often times hit or miss. Sometimes it is too hot, sometimes too cold. But one thing that should be mentioned, if a glass falls into the hot tub, when you pick it up, go ahead and make sure the glass is empty before setting it back on the side. That way no one mistakenly drinks hot tub water (Mike). Lol
There was a radio station there that week, and frankly we got a bit annoyed with the people that came with them. I guess the good thing was that they all pretty much stuck to the quad and never really ventured that far out. The bad thing (for us) was that we would spend most mornings and early afternoons at the quad to talk to one of our favorite bartenders. Most of the ones with the radio station were very young. There were some things that we saw that just irked us to no end:
1) The bartender is a person, too. Talk to them and you might realize this. Instead of shouting your drink order to the bartender as you play your 23rd game of volleyball for the day, swimming over and taking it once it is on the bar, maybe come over and order at the bar. Nice time to strike up conversation. Also, when placing an order, instead of ‘give me’, ‘gimme’, ‘I’ll take’, maybe try ‘could I have’, ‘could I please have’, or even ‘when you have time…’. And once you get your drink, a simple ‘thank you’ probably is appreciated. I think that I read on the Denny site that tipping is not allowed, but a smile and a thank you is always appreciated.
2) Yes, at the quad the bartender will usually play any cd that you give them. But for goodness sake’s, once you give them a cd, let the thing play. These bartenders are not your personal disk jockey. Case in point, the bartender had to stop what she was doing to search for a particular song on a cd while a guy told her ‘next song, no, try the next, no, try the next…’ all because they were starting another game of volleyball. If you do not like the order the songs are being played, then re-burn your damn cd.
3) If you walk to the bar and place an order, stay there until the order is done. Don’t go sit in the hot tub and expect them to bring it to you. You were just there, sit there and wait until you have all that you need.
4) If you are on the upper deck at the quad sunbathing topless or naked, there is no need to cover yourself up to come down and get in the water or get a drink. Most of us have already seen you topless/naked on the deck already. Kinda like people that lay out naked on the nude side and have to wrap a towel to go get a drink…why…already seen all that.
Single guys. The subject comes up on the board every so often so we thought we would give our take on it.
The Good: We met a single guy that was very nice. We ate meals with him several times, hung out at the bar together several times and generally enjoyed the company and conversation. Never propositioned us and never really made us feel uncomfortable. Never had a problem. A very nice guy.
The Bad (OK, quasi-bad): A young guy just arrived to the resort, stripped down and joined the nude side. Plus points there. But then swam over to us and after telling us he just got there, said something along the lines of ‘So how does a single guy fit into the action here?’. Easy there, Sparky. Low key is the answer. Also, he would wait for me to go to the restroom to swim over and strike up a conversation with Lisa. But a couple of days later, he was a changed man. Even apologized to us and realized that he was a little too high strung that first night. I think that the Hedo Diplomat Lou had kinda set him straight on some of the unwritten rules (Lou, could be a new title, Hedo Diplomat). J We even saw him with a female later in the trip. Not sure if they made a ‘connection’, but he turned out to be a nice guy as well, just a little overzealous at first.
The Ugly: For those that haven’t been before, pretty much the rule of thumb is that when someone says ‘No’, that does not mean try again later. We were in the hot tub seated next to a single guy, with Lisa in between us (not for a reason, just how we sat down). Well when I went to get drinks, I guess he had some wandering hands under the water. Lisa told him no thanks. I came back and she told me about this. No big deal. Got up to get drinks again, and a repeat performance. I guess that this guy thought because she said no, and then didn’t move meant for him to keep trying. After the third time, Lisa and I switched seats and tried to scoot as far away as we could in a packed hot tub. From everything that I read, this is a very rare occurrence. Usually 1 no will suffice. Possibly a first-timer.
We did the Canopy Tour as our off resort excursion. It was $70/person and was a lot of fun. Those not familiar with it, you go up into the forest in the mountains. They have platforms built in the tree tops, with zip lines going between the trees. There were 2 disappointments on this tour. 1) There was not a lot of wildlife to see. We saw the Jamaican national bird (a type of hummingbird that is quite small) and a lot of mosquitoes. 2) We were eaten alive by the latter of the wildlife. Should have known that going into a forest that you need to pack bug spray. Didn’t really occur to us. We also went out on the glass bottom boat after trying for several days. (If the water is too rough, they don’t go out). Lisa was really looking forward to it, as she had never been on one. Our advice is that it is fun to do if you have nothing really going on, but don’t plan your day around it. I have been on them before when I was much younger, but kinda remembered what they were like. Lisa was initially disappointed because she thought that the glass area would be bigger. I had told her that as I remembered, the majority of the bottom of the boat was 1 pane of glass. There, it is about 6 or 8 panes of glass that are about 1’ x 3 ‘ (might actually be bigger than that, just trying to remember). We did see some fish, but not that many. I guess we were a little disappointed because we thought we would see all these colorful fish. There were some that were black and yellow striped, black and white striped, and some all one color. But no bright yellow ones, or purple ones, or any of the other brightly colored ones that us Midwesterners see at a pet store. Maybe it is our own ignorance of what type of fish are native to that area that caused some of our disappointment.
The theme nights can be a lot of fun. We participate in the toga night and the pj night. We normally don’t go to the disco, unless we hang out outside of it. It sometimes is really crowded and we have heard that it takes awhile to get drinks. We are not really the kind of couple that likes to go to a disco. We are more kinda the small hometown bar, pull up a bar stool, hang out and talk to folks. But the nights that we did go and hang out outside were good for us. We did go to the piano bar twice and thought that was a lot of fun. It can be a little repetitive, as they play a lot of the same songs and do the same gags. But overall it was better than the disco, in our opinion. Another pet peeve here; if you go to the piano bar, please don’t hang out at the bar and talk and tell jokes only. Yes, this vacation is all about fun and getting to know other people, but the last time we were there, the crowd dwindled down and there were more people standing at the bar not participating than there were of those that sung (mostly off key for myself). I guess our opinion is that if you go to the piano bar, participate with the rest of us. You can stand at a bar and tell jokes almost anywhere. I guess we feel that at the piano bar, the more the merrier.
We ate at both the Italian and Japanese restaurant. My favorite was the Italian, while Lisa preferred the Japanese. But we are also from a small Midwest town and our tastes may not be as sophisticated as others. I guess we don’t eat at a Japanese steakhouse that often (never) to have a comparison. Both places were excellent. The buffet was good. Something that I don’t think that everyone realized was that they serve stuff from the area where you get your omelet in the morning. Sometimes it is something as simple as pre-made cold cut sandwiches, but one day I hit it when they served pasta. You could have them cook some chicken and shrimp to add to whatever pasta you had chosen. They also had items like onion, red & green pepper, oregano, etc to add as well. It was like my own personal Pastafari. J I guess if you don’t know what they do, just politely ask and they will explain all the options to you. Scotch Bonnet is a nice get away. Usually quiet, nice breeze coming off the ocean, and has a very nice view. We don’t remember this from last time, but they actually had a band playing there at various times. Not loud at all, very relaxing. Then there is the nude pool bar where you can get items that I didn’t see anywhere else. Crab salad and nachos are the 2 that immediately come to mind.
This next part is about female problems, so if this offends you skip to the next paragraph. Lisa had the unfortunate visitor come right before we left. It was so bad that she almost passed out in the airport. Yep, sucks for both of us. Thus I posed the post on Denny’s about bottoms on the nude side. Wow, there seems to be a strong division here. We found out through the site that there is a product called Insteads. They are basically a birth control type diaphragm (not actually birth control) that blocks fluids going out. They are good for 12 hours. This had a dual role as it wouldn’t ruin our vacation fun and not anger the purists. Now some may take offense to this, that we had to do this to appease others. We felt it to be no big deal since we found this option. I also know that there was a nude couple with the same curse that took other options. There is the cut string and tuck method. Lisa was not comfortable with that, but was comfortable with the Insteads. Just throwing that out there to those that might find themselves in a similar situation. Yes, Lisa could have technically got away with wearing bottoms on the nude side, but we are the type that wants to just have fun. Now, if we did not find the Insteads, would our attitude be different…maybe. I guess that really depends on the acceptance of the majority of people on the nude side.
The DennyP group or the Wet, Wild, & Wicked group was there the same time we were there. Lisa and I considered joining this group since we were going to be there the same time, although the trip was booked by myself. The thing was, we were a bit apprehensive about joining a group and then be expected to do ‘this, that, and the other thing as group activities’. This was not the case with the WWW group. Very laid back, and it seemed like a bunch of old friends getting together. Grant it, this is our first trip we had when there was a group there, but most of the people that we met were very nice. I think that you could find pretty much any set of pace with different people in the group. There was anything from wild to mild with this group. Lisa and I talked about maybe joining the next WWW trip. We met so many nice people, and realize that there are so many more to meet. I think that Denny has a good thing going.
A sad note: Upon returning back to the real world, some people get slapped back into reality. I was punched in the face and kicked in the nuts. An hour into the first day back, my entire battalion was put on alert for possible deployment. We don’t have a MOB order so we don’t know what is happening. But there is the possibility that I will be deployed overseas for a year. If deployment does happen, it probably won’t be for several months, so we could possibly not make it back until 2005 or early 2006. Kinda sucks, but hey, we all have a job to do.
We can’t wait to get back to H3. We have so much fun there. Being our second trip and being there for 11 days, we took things much more laid back. We almost thought it was too much about half way through, then we realized, that there really isn’t such a thing as too much of H3. The second trip was different because we knew kinda what to expect. Yes, we still got blitzed and yes on occasion made fools of ourselves (in a good way), but we also were OK with blowing off the third night of the “Nude Hot Tub Theater Presents: Young Couple Performs High School Make-Out Contest….Again.” Come for the drinks, stay for the show. Did H3 lose a little luster by our second trip? We have to say yes. But, doesn’t the newness wear off everything? That does not make us not want to come back. In fact, it makes us think of when can we get back, because this was one of the most relaxing vacations. On our 1st trip there, it was “Go, go, go, go, sleep 4 hours, and go again”. We didn’t want to miss anything. This time, we kinda knew what to expect. And we were OK with sleeping in or going to bed before 2 am (sorry don’t want to sound like a wuss). But it was still fun. Hanging out at the quad was a little different than last time, but the nude side was the same, but with different people. More friends to meet. So in way, it stays the same, but is always a little bit different.
Some of this has been ramblings, some of this has been our opinion, and some of this may actually help those 1st timers. After all, this is how we decided to go in the first place. We look forward to seeing all of you again. Not sure when, but we will be back!
Scott & Lisa