Arrival & Accommodations: Flew in via ATA – everything was on time and the shuttle to the resort left quickly. The check-in process was quick and painless, and before we knew it we were lying in the sun. We had been to Hedo III on a Super Surprise a little under 3 years ago and I was initially surprised to see how much things had deteriorated. Nothing major, just general wear and tear along with minor annoyances – a slight ant problem in our room, broken hair dryer, broken drain stopper in our tub, occasional lack of towels at all 3 pools, frequent lack of milk for our coffee and occasional rudeness from some of the staff (although the entertainment staff remains EXCELLENT!). I suppose these things would have bothered us more if we were there for the amenities – but we were there for the fun and craziness and were not disappointed.
Food: Again, seems to have declined a bit. Diet Pepsi was only available at the nude bar (although the screams of “Take it off Mary” whenever my wife would go over for a Pepsi were worth it), the Scotch Bonnet ran out of patties on a daily basis, and they had plain rice (as opposed to the far superior rice and peas) too often. That said, we were able to find delicious food every meal. Some highlights include: grilled tuna, snapper, jerk chicken at the Scotch Bonnet, breakfast omelets and midnight cheeseburgers. For some reason, large quantities of bacon were available for every meal. We had some difficulties finding a table on a few occasions. Then, when we did find a table, it was near impossible to get the old dishes cleared and get some new silverware. We quickly learned to obtain a table first so that we didn’t have to walk around with plates of food and nowhere to sit.
The good stuff: After our first few hours at the resort, Mary and I had to reacquaint ourselves with toga tying. Two hours and several Rum Runners later we emerged from our room with our togas in place, ready for our first night of fun. Toga night is a great way to get into the spirit of Hedo III. Between the sexy togas, bad togas and the antics of some of the couples, our numbing process to flashed body parts had begun. For some reason, Mary decided it would be a good idea to readjust her top during the toga party … a decision that unintentionally put her in company with the many flashers – nobody seemed to notice. We made our way to the piano bar where we got silly with more Rum Runners as Don tried to master the tricky task of sitting in a toga without revealing the goods. The night ended with some dancing in the disco followed by what would become a nightly (and sometimes mid-afternoon) ritual – the nude water slide.
On Friday afternoon, Don was witness to a bizarre wet t-shirt contest in the dining area. Only four females were brave enough to enter; it was great to see adults in their 30s and 40s crazy and confident enough to strut their stuff. The bizarre portion occurred when the entertainment staff asked one participant to demonstrate what she would do to her husband if she had not seen him in 30 years. She pulled her husband, dressed only in a towel, onto the floor, threw him down, ripped off the towel and proceeded to slurp up his manhood before the entertainment staff knew what was happening. The staff quickly intervened, pointing out that this is one activity that is not permitted on stage. They asked her to try again without the explicit act, and she proceeded to do the exact same thing again! She didn’t win (the winner turned out to be a judge in “real life”). That evening, we dressed Mary up in the Santa “outfit” and danced in the disco. The evening ended with a nude water slide.
Saturday through Monday blended into one huge swirl of activity. I recall Mary and I pooling our winnings at casino night to purchase a liter of Appelton’s. We watched a nudes vs. prudes volleyball game from our room, saw a decent acrobatic show one evening (the contortionist did things I can’t even describe) and witnessed all 12 inches of Scorpion, the male stripper, another night (what was up with the towels wrapped around his shins?). K-Rock out of Edmonton was broadcasting live for one week, and they brought a fairly large gang of partiers with them. We talked, drank, danced, ate and hot-tubbed with too many great people to remember. For the most part, everyone was really friendly (although Susan from Brooklyn really needs to stop looking for hidden meanings in everything!). It rained off and on during these days, but it didn’t stop our fun. Each of the nights ended with numerous nude water slides.
Tuesday – Battle of the Sexes. Some of the highlights from Tuesday: nude oil wrestling, Mary dominating Sex Facts Trivia, Teddy Bear saying “I need, I need, I need” during Battle of the Sexes (Don scored a point for the girl’s team for being the tallest person there) and Leanne’s inability to figure out certain sexual positions (it’s really more innocent than it sounds!). More dancing, partying, hot tubs and, of course, the late night nude water slides. Also, Don discovered the joys of midnight cheeseburgers.
Wednesday – Oldies party. Quad pool takeover today. Don had made the decision to join in the nude vs. prude games, playing for whichever side needed the manpower. Turns out it was the prudes, so the suit stayed on! The games ended with body shots for all at the quad bar, so in a sense everyone won. At dinner, Don displayed his prowess in Name That Tune, winning another 9 tokens for our friends (we had already won 2 bottles of rum, so we didn’t need more tokens). Silas and Tracey caused a stir when they pointed out the absurdity of dancing to 50s tunes during a funk dance contest – but they ended up winning anyway. The evening proceeded into the disco and 5 shots of Sambuca later we found ourselves dancing in towels. It was just too tiring to keep putting on and taking off our clothes for those nude water slides!
Thursday. Trip home. Last day of vacation is never welcome. Leanne and Angela gave us a great sendoff and Mary and I started making plans for our return.
Final impressions. As stated in most trip reports, Hedo 3 is all about the friends you make. We were continually meeting great people, some of whom we had a few laughs with and never saw again and others who we will keep in touch with for years. Everyone we met helped to make our trip a memorable one. Kevin, Cassie, Rob, Stephanie, Silas, Tracey and the guys from Edmonton . . . great meeting all of you and thanks for the fun. If you happen to read this, please drop me a line (I didn’t get any of your e-mail addresses!) Leanne and Angela, we miss you two already and can’t wait to see you both again.