TRIP REPORT: June 9-17th with The Cavedwellers!
Well….we are back from our virgin Hedonism 3 vacation.
We are going to break this down into sections in order to keep things coherent. There is so much we want to say. Of course, because Liz is doing most of the typing, it will be long. You can’t shut her up. J
GETTING THERE
The trip was uneventful. One of our bags got lost, which was a pain. We filed our claim and got on the bus. The ride was scary but we lived to tell the tale. Met John and Tammy first. Then Hugh and Judy. Followed by Eddie, Annette, Ralph, Paula and Janie who quickly ushered us to Philip's room for a naked pig pile while Philip was passed out. Daddy....I know you don't remember meeting us for the first time, but we will NEVER forget you!!!!
THE NAKED THING……..
We were very worried about this. We are not perfect bodies. I have always been self- conscious about my body. After 2 pregnancies and an appendectomy, the abs are no longer what I would like. Could we really do this? Everyone says you are comfortable right away and no one judges or notices, but we were just not sure. Let me say that what you hear is true. No one judges you for your looks; they judge you for who you are. There were Playboy Bunnies at the resort the same time we were there and no one gave 2 hoots about them because they were standoffish and snotty. Well…except the tons of single guys who arrived en masse to bag one of them. As for feeling comfortable right away….well, it took a little longer. A few hours to be comfortable in a lounge chair, a day or two before we could walk to the bar and order a drink without feeling self-conscious. By the end we never wanted to put our clothes on.
Should you go naked? Well, all I can say is the Prude Pool was deserted, truly deserted. We only saw 5 people there, at most. The Quad Pool was not deserted, but it was mostly single guys who were there for the Playboy thing, except for one memorable day of Cavedweller body shots and volleyball. The Nude Pool, however, was rocking 24/7. So if you are looking for a quiet vacation without meeting a lot of people and just want to get away for a peaceful time (which is cool), going clothed is no problem. If you are looking to party and meet a lot of people and get crazy, you do need to be nude because most of the meeting, greeting and socializing happens at the Nude Pool. Yes you can meet people in the dining room, piano bar and disco. It is just natural that people are going to be hanging with the friends they have been hanging with all day.
THE STAFF…….
In my life I have never met a bunch of people who work harder and are nicer than the people at this resort. If you are a person that has an attitude that the staff is there to serve you and you can treat them however you want, then do not even think about going. I am serious. These people work six days on and one day off, 14 hours a day. They bust their butts to make sure you have a fun time and make it look easy. They are friendly and generous in spirit and should get the same in return. They deserve your respect and admiration. We especially want to thank Crazy Sean, Teddy Bear, Christine, Marsha from the dining room, and Lacy and Antoinette. I have seen corporate CEO’s that don’t work as hard as you.
How lucky are we? Instant family. You all are the best people we have ever met. We never expected to be adopted so completely by a group of people. I don’t think we would have been comfortable and happy if we did not have all of you looking out for us and supporting us. Being with this group made everything a bit more vivid and fun.
THE FOOD…..
Don’t go for the food. Pastafari was ok and Munahana was VERY good (albeit a bit salty). The Scotch Bonnet and Nude Grill were great. The Terrace Buffet was awful. Really awful. Except the French Fries on the midnight buffet. When you are drunk and it is 2am, those suckers are like ambrosia!
They were what we expected after doing research on this site. Adequate in terms of size and comfort. The AC was fine. The hot water was touch and go, but we expected that. We were upgraded to room 814, which is an oceanfront walkout. It was gorgeous, but the noise from the Main Stage and the basketball court was terrible. We could never take an afternoon nap, due to the noise.
THE VOW RENEWAL…….
This was our 10th anniversary and we chose to renew our vows. Honestly, we did not think it was going to be a big deal. 20 minutes before the ceremony we were in the nude pool socializing. We got cleaned up and showed up expecting to renew our vows and be done with it. What a surprise. It was so beautiful. Christine ordered a gorgeous bouquet of orchids and a boutonnière. There was a gorgeous cake. A real reverend and champagne to drink. All our Cavedweller friends came and the ceremony was so beautiful I could not stop crying. It honestly was better than our first wedding. They even had music and a first dance. Christine arranges the weddings and she does an amazing job. Thank you Christine and Reverend Lawrence for the most important day we have had in a long time. On a different not, Joe will be forever grateful for having the “Wicked Weasel” at our second wedding. Only at Hedo!
Yes, there is a lot of sex. The clothes, the vibe, the PDA’s. Everything. Was there open sex? You better believe it. More than I thought there would be. The sex police were non-existent. In fact, to our groups hysterical laughter, one night at the nude hot tub one security guard told one of our friends to “Go on and get some pussy in that swing!” referring to the “Love Swing” Philip (Daddy) hung up at the nude pool. None of the sex was threatening, or offensive to us. In fact, after a while seeing someone have oral sex or intercourse in the pool seemed almost normal. Almost. We still did a lot of “Oh my GOD!!! Did you see that!??!?” J It was all in good fun, though! The nude hot tub at night was very wild. It is really all about what you want. If you are into being a twosome and not having anything physical to do with other people, you will be just fine. A simple “No thanks” works. If someone touches you uninvited, telling them to stop works. If it does not, someone will step in and help you, no one is on their own. If you are into threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes, that is there too. It is all about your limits and boundaries and what you want. Be very sure you know what you and your partner are about before you go. There were also a lot of people having a lot of issues due to conflicting desires. One woman’s fiancée threw her up on the side of a building, causing her to have stitches on her head, because he caught her with someone else. We came to the conclusion that Hedo can be the best place in the world for a couple, or the worst.
THE VISIT…….
I thought about breaking it down day by day, but quite honestly our days were exactly the same! Breakfast, nude pool, lunch, nude pool, get ready for dinner, dinner, piano bar, disco, nude hot tub. Throw in a little snorkeling, or theme nights here and there for variety. Top it off with wonderful tropical drinks. It just does not get any better than that. So I am just going to write about our trip highlights.
The biggest highlight were the friends we made. The people truly make the trip. If you want to go, and can go with an established group like the Cavedwellers or another like it, that is the way to go. We are convinced of that. Marlon and Donna, Shawn and Wendy, Annette and Eddie, Doug and Vicky, Amber and Matt, Philip (daddy) and Janie (mommy), DeAnn and Russell, Steve and Molly, Ralph and Paula, Jordan and Christina, Mike and Pam, Rick and Gina, Bob and Karen, Tammy and John, Rob and Paula, Hugh and Judy, Mick and Jeffrey, Terry and Jan, Tammy (and the girls) and Freddie and all the others that I am forgetting and will kick myself later.
I will never forget the reception on the Scotch Bonnet and Russell modeling his thong (with a little help), Doug and his gift (hope the boys are back in the same zip code!) and being awarded my golden tampon (thanks Mike/Pam and Marlon/Donna!). Marlon, I hope you are getting a lot of good use out of the gift that Amber bought you. Try it…you’ll like it! John, I just love my vibrating cucumber and Ms Jeffrey, Joe loves his elephant thong and dirty dice. They got some use.
Some other highlights were singing in the Piano Bar, Tattoos (thanks Eddie and Philip…it was GREAT), Naked Slide Runs, the Cavedweller Bunnies on Talent Night (thanks for the lap dance Bob), Russell and the “Cupcake”, stargazing on the pier with friends, the Love Swing, getting a decent glass of wine thanks to Jordan, watching the sun come up from the nude hot tub, Tammy and the girls giving the Cavedwellers a big sendoff on Saturday in her AWESOME outfit, teaching Philip how to squeak his teeth, lending our shower not once but twice to a beautiful person who will remain nameless (Joe will never forget it!), talking with Crazy Sean on our last night and just rediscovering ourselves after years of being buried in work and parenthood.
THE CONS…….
Yes, there were a few. The tiles and the pool are so slippery. Two Cavedwellers broke bones in their feet due to slipping. Two Cavedwellers were injured on the slide. One broke his toe and the other almost ripped his finger off. None of these injured people were drunk when it happened. Be very careful, it is VERY easy to get hurt there. On Bare As You Dare night a lot of people from Breezes were there and in the Disco and were not participating. This made it very uncomfortable to the people who were participating. If night passes are going to be sold, the people need to participate or not be allowed in the Disco. We left because we were tired of being stared at like we were monkeys in a zoo. The nude hot tub was very inconsistent in temperature, some nights it was freezing, one night it was up to 107 degrees and no one could go in.
A lot of people say that Hedo is the perfect place for everyone. We disagree. For the right person, it is heaven on earth. To the wrong person it is a horrendous waste of time and money. Ask yourself these questions. Are you an accepting person? You may not agree with everything you see, but can you accept it without being judgmental and rude? Are you going to see gorgeous people be naked and have sex with each other? If so, you are in for a disappointment. It is everyday people. Fat, thin, tall, short, young old and everything in between. If the thought of an overweight middle- aged couple having a PDA in the hot tub turns your stomach, you may want to stay away. Are you friendly? Snobby people who look down on others or disregard them will not be happy there. Can you throw away your pre- conceived ideas about people and give people you normally would not say “Boo” to a chance? You will be surprised at how wonderful ALL Hedo people are, regardless of age looks and style. My one regret is that there was one couple that sort of freaked me out when I first saw them, so I avoided them. After a few days I happened to strike up a conversation in the pool, and they were just wonderful. Wasted time, that would not have been lost if I had kept a more open mind.
IN CONCLUSION…….
This place was magical for us. We had a great time. There were bumps along the way for us as we were confronted with things we had never thought about and things that made us uncomfortable at times. However, as a couple we grew and blossomed and for that I am so happy. We made friends with people that have changed our lives. We laughed all the time, which I don’t think we do enough of at home. The Cavedweller Spirit is imprinted on our souls and for that we are better people. Thanks to you all. We love each and every one of you. See you next year!!!!
CAVEDWELLERS RULE!!!!!!!!