Linda
of “Ed & Linda”
Hedo
III 5/6 – 5/13
First
trip ever to Hedonism for both my husband and myself. Just to give you some background, I am 26 and my Husband is
32. The two of us have been to
all-inclusive resorts before, but never a Superclubs. This was my second trip to Jamaica and his first.
There
was one underlying theme throughout our seven day stay:
RAIN. It rained so much it
was depressing. If this review is
a bit negative, the rain we experienced has a lot to do with it.
We just picked a bad week. Not
to mention that the resort seemed to be only half full, which I believe
affected the overall energy level of the place.
For
the most part, the resort was pretty
tame. It was a friendly crowd but
pretty quiet… with a few exceptions. At
times it seemed as if we could have been at any other resort, and not the
infamous “Hedonism.” Many
people we talked to shared the same opinion.
I
doubt if we will ever return to Hedo III.
This trip was just too disappointing.
Someday, we may venture to Negril to check out Hedo II.
Speaking
of Negril, the week prior to our week at Hedo, we spent a week at “Couples”
and got married! If you’re
interested in that resort, please keep an eye out for my next trip report
which I will also post on Denny’s site sometime soon.
In a nutshell, Negril beach is
beautiful! Couples is a
great resort but definitely not a place to party.
Back to The Hedo Review……..
Our
room was very colorful and cute. I
was expecting just a standard 4 wall rectangular box, but the room was laid
out much differently than that. It had some character to it!
We stayed in room 834 with an oceanfront view that was very pretty. The
negative thing about our room was that the ceiling leaked, quite badly, when
it rained. As I said before, while we were there, it rained A LOT.
I really liked the 800 building because it was close to both the nude
and prude side. It was also close
to the disco, the main dining
area with the stage, the fitness center and many other things.
I
really did not like the layout of the resort.
It seems much bigger when you look at the map. When you get there, you
realize that everything is very close together. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but there was something
about the feng shui of the place that seemed a little off, in my opinion.
The
prude pool seemed kind of awkward. It
goes around the stairs that lead up to the disco and then on the other side
there is a volleyball net that is always set up.
It didn’t seem very conducive to swimming, or socializing or
anything, really, except for that visually it looked kind of cool.
The lounge chairs for this pool were set up a few yards away, kind of
in the middle of no where between the prude pool and prude beach.
My husband says “it’s like tanning in a parkinglot” Strange, very
strange. Oh well, I’m not a
prude anyway so on to the nude side…
The
nude pool area was very small. I
can’t even imagine how crowded it would have been had the resort been filled
to capacity. I do think that the
nude side is definitely the place to hang out.
People on this side do seem more friendly and fun. Maybe because it’s
so small, you have no choice but to socialize.
The contests there are a lot of fun too. In any case, had it not rained so much we would have spent
the majority of our vacation by the nude pool.
I will say that the cleanliness of the nude pool on most days left
something to be desired. There
was one occasion that I couldn’t bring myself to go in because the water was
really cloudy. I think this has to do with body shots and sometimes during the
games they used chocolate syrup, etc. People tend to rinse themselves off in
the pool. One thing I’d like to add about the nude side, is that the
security lady, I can’t remember her name now, was really nice to us on our
first day. She asked if we needed
anything and brought towels and drinks to us and it wasn’t even her job to
do so!
If
you’re a beach person, I would not recommend going to Hedo III.
The beaches are small and man made.
The water is choppy and rough making water sports more challenging.
Also, because the beaches were made where none existed before, you can’t
exactly take a long stroll along the beach, because there’s nowhere to go.
(This made us feel claustrophobic after a few days.)
Another thing I noticed was that the water didn’t seem that turquoise
clear blue like it was on other parts of the island.
The beach on the nude side is even smaller than the one on the prude
side. It’s TINY. On the first day we saw stray dogs running
around on the nude beach too, which made it seem even less inviting.
The reason that the dogs were such an issue for us was because a friend
of ours returned from Hedo II with a parasite in his foot. The doctor said it
was most likely from the dog’s feces left on the beach.
It wasn’t life threatening or anything, but rather unpleasant. So
please be aware of this when on the beach.
The
Quad section was cute, but it seemed too secluded from all of the common areas
for our taste. It was like it’s
own little world separate from the rest of the resort. Although the Quad section could be fun because the buildings
face each other and it gives it kind of a community feel. The pool and hot tub in the quad were much cleaner than on
the nude side. The pool in the
prude area seemed cleanest, but probably because it was rarely used.
Bad
design. Before you could even get
into the door, water was coming down in droves from the water slide above.
I’m not sure if this was because the rain was gathering on top and
then making it’s way down, or if the slide itself was leaking.
Whatever the reason, it made getting into the disco with a dry costume
impossible. Once inside the disco a lot of people were complaining about
a musty odor. I think the smell
was the mixture of humidity and chlorine water from the slide.
The
disco was one room, and it was kind of small.
It kind of looked like a basement except that it wasn’t underground.
There was one bar, with a poll for dancing on it.
There was a cage, a few strobe lights, a smoke machine and some cool
paintings on the wall. Except for the DJ booth and the bathrooms, that was it.
The DJ played a lot of the same mixes night after night.
He was open to playing CD’s that people brought in but not very often
and not for very long. Perhaps we
should have tried tipping him. Personally,
I think they should build a real nightclub, one with more than one floor and
with more than one DJ playing different types of music.
But that’s just my thing.
Very
nice. We did not spend that much
time there because the week prior we spent a lot of time at the piano bar at
Couples. But I liked the décor and the pianist seemed like a lot of fun.
The only negative thing was that it did not seem to stay open very
late.
It’s
too small. A lot of the equipment
is in need of repair. There’s
only one machine for legwork available and it’s pretty awkward.
We like to work out everyday so the fitness center was a disappointment
for us.
Pastafari
was my favorite, but then I’m an Italian girl and I like my pasta. J Munahana
was very good too and a lot of fun. The main terrace was always buffet style but there was always
a pretty good variety. The plates
are small but I guess that will keep you from stuffing yourself.
Here’s a tip for breakfast time:
Do not get the coffee from the machine.
Ask for the real coffee when you sit down.
It’s still not that great, but better than the stuff from the
machine. We are coffee drinkers.
Hedo left us homesick for Starbucks. The
Scotch Bonnet had very small portions and the service was severely
lacking. It was in a great location though, I’m sure seeing a sunset there
would have been beautiful, but again it was cloudy and rainy during our stay,
so we missed out. You really should make your reservations for the restaurants
early. Do it at check in, even.
If
you see Carol, a.k.a. Tina Turner, tell her “hi” from “Eddie Murphy”
and his wife “Cherry.” We
really liked Carol. She was very sweet and made things at the resort a lot of
fun. She’s great at her job.
She took 2 days off during the middle of the week and we really missed her.
Foxy was cool too. She hooked us up with a bottle of Appleton Rum even
though we only had 600,000 instead of 800,000 Hedo Bucks.
Some of the other coordinators were okay, but seemed kind of distant.
There was one in particular with short blonde hair that seemed almost
“bothered” if you tried to have a conversation with her.
I think they call her “pleasure.”
One day I told her I liked the shoes she was wearing and she completely
ignored my comment except for the “go away” look on her face.
We
participated in just about every contest we came across. My husband did
the fashion show at the beginning of the week. He wore 3
outfits: A small (very small!) grass skirt, a toga folded into a sumo,
and a little itty bitty red Christmas G string with bells and white fur.
Haha, I have lots of blackmail pictures! Our first day,
during our first hour at the nude pool, I participated in the “Ms. Nude Hedo
III” contest. I enjoyed that contest the best. I won 2nd
place! I also did the “wet t-shirt contest” got 3rd place and the
“Rump Shakin’ Contest” Got 2nd again. I went home feelin’ pretty
darn good about myself! My husband did a “glow stick dance”
during the talent show. He did great, of course! I participated in Carol’s
“Chorus Line Dance.”
We
thought that because of all of the rain, the staff should have done extra
activities during the day to try to help the overall mood of the place.
It was kind of gray and depressing after a few days. I think the guests could
have used something extra. One day, it was so awful out and so
quiet around the place that we actually resorted to playing a game of
scrabble!
Because
of the rain, the circus workshop was closed 5 out of the 7 days so I never got
to try the trampoline. There was also no circus show or beach party.
On
Friday and Saturday night there was a Male Stripping contest, they flew in a
group of American guys to compete with a group of Jamaican guys. It was
entertaining at first but both shows were very long and by the second night we
were pretty tired of it. We would have gone and done something else, I
guess, but who the heck wanted to leave and go out into the torrential
downpour? (BTW, the roof in the main terrace leaks too.)
On
Monday, “Seventies night” I think I was the only one who wore a
costume. I could have missed one somewhere, but I doubt it. The disco
was cleared out by 12:30, my husband and I were the only ones there. We
thought maybe people might have been at other parts of the resort, but after
we left we didn’t see anyone anywhere. I guess everyone went to bed!?!
On
Tuesday, PJ night, there was a lot more participation and the disco went to at
least 3:00. I won the prize for sexiest woman. I’m not sure how.
I was going for “most virginal” I dressed in an almost white outfit.
It was an off white lace babydoll with a thong, thigh highs, a garter and high
heels. I guess wearing white does not equate to being virginal… buy hey, who
am I to complain if I was voted sexiest woman?? J Some women wore
teddies, or nighties, some lace stuff and some leather stuff. A lot of
guys wore boxers and silk robes. If you ask me, it was all pretty darn
tame.
Wednesday.
What the heck was Wednesday? Ummmmm.. maybe I had too much rum punch that day,
but I know I either wore the black thing or the see through yellow thing…
Thursday
was toga night and again most people participated. It was fun. But
nothing spectacular.
Friday.
Bare as You Dare. Not many people participated. Just a handful.
The disco seemed half full.
Saturday,
did I wear the black thing on Saturday?
Sunday.
Guess what? The SUN CAME OUT! Just in time for us to go home. How
nice. Then again, the sun only shined until we sat down on the plane to
go home and at that point it started POURING again exacerbating an already
horrific flight… but that’s another story for another day.
Please
feel free to email us with any questions you may have. Also, Keep an eye
out for my husband Ed’s trip report written from his point of view. It’s
a bit scathing, but take it with a grain of salt as he was cracking himself up
laughing as he wrote it.
Wishing
you a great trip and dry weather!!
Linda of Linda & Ed
PS.
I’d also like to mention that we met some great people on this trip.
We have emailed you all with pictures and hope to talk to you soon!
PPS.
“HELLO” to “Wearepurrrfect” (sorry if I spelled it wrong.) It
was fun sharing a plane ride with you to Negril!
Hope your 13th trip to Hedo II was a good one! (or was it 14th??)
If you see this, send us an email because we have some cool pictures of the
whole TimAir experience!