Joe & Allison

Joe & Allison, Sept. 1-8

This trip report is geared toward people who are on the fence about whether to go to Hedo III - people who know about the resort, have read some trip reports, seen the slick advertising, and are definitely interested... but are hesitant because they're not necessarily nudists, or exhibitionists, or swingers, or (most of all) already going with a big group of pre-populated internet friends who seem to share in a closely bonded secret Hedo society. Of course not everyone there fell into one of these categories, but I can see how a newbie could get that impression from this site. So to help you decide, I've chronicled our trip and thrown in my 2 cents about the whole experience. Get comfy, it's a long-ass report.

Hmmm..To Go or Not To Go?

We're avid beach vacationer's (been to Hawaii, Cabo, Cancun, Turks & Caicos, South Beach) in our 20s-30s and went to Breezes Runaway Bay last year and had a great time (mostly due to the great people we met and hung out with throughout the vacation). We loved Jamaica, so we thought about going back to Breezes. But if not for the cool crowd we met, Breezes could have been a little boring. So we knew we wanted a great nightlife, party atmosphere, social setting... Hmm, the Hedo brochure says "be wicked for a week". We were open-minded, yeah, maybe we wanted that too. But just maybe. We (OK mostly me, hubby was on board from the get-go, what a surprise) were still concerned about the drunken-overgrown-frat-party-who-needs-clothes-let's-have-sex-all-over-the-place-reputation.

So, being the detailed vacation planner that I am, I promptly found this site and read almost every damn trip report and message board posting. Whoa, information overload. I started to way overthink the trip. We're not nudists, we're not swingers, we're not in the 'secret Hedo society' of closely bonded friends, we hadn't made penpals w/ anyone beforehand. How will we have fun there if we're not any of those? I posted messages on the board and got mostly supportive advice to go, a good time is just about guaranteed. Though some people did seem to think if we weren't nudists, we might be better off someplace else. But our travel agent clinched the (in)decision - "Don't overthink it, you'll never know what it's like unless you just go and see for yourself". Tickets booked. Decision made. Hedo III it was. Hedo III over II primarily because we were 1) newbies, 2) liked the idea of going to a newer resort, and 3) Hedo III seemed a little more "prude-friendly" than II.

Going, Going, Gone

We booked a comprehensive package trip through FunJet via Houston thru Air Jamaica and never had any problems. Highly recommend Air Jamaica. Especially since on your way home, they check you bags and issue boarding passes for you right at the resort. Very cool, saves time, way less hassle, and no luggage to worry about.

SATURDAY - Within minutes after arriving at Sangster airport while waiting for the Hedo III bus, our transportation coordinator guy hits us up to see if we wanna buy "anything interesting". Man, talk about a genuine Jamaican welcome. Polite no thanks on our part, and he easily backed off. No problem. Bus ride to the resort is the same as everyone else describes - crappy. Although, interesting to see who gets off the bus at Breezes or Grand Lido Braco and who stays on for Hedo III. Most everyone got off our bus at Braco. Only 2 other couples left and us, a relatively low-key group (no drinking, no yelling, no one grew devil horns and pulled out their whips, chains, and liquid latex). Kind of a surprise for us considering the Hedo III people on our bus to Breezes last year just about mainlined liquor into their arms and whooped and hollered the whole bus ride. 

Check-in was easy. Our travel agent noted on our reservations that we were repeat Superclubs guests, and I think it might have helped because we didn't have to wait at all (checked in around noon) and were shown directly to our room (the other 2 couples from the bus had to wait for their rooms). Also, we requested pool side (which I knew was by the quad) cuz I thought we'd be hanging out there most of the time. But we were told our room was in the 600 building, which can be interpreted as an upgrade since it's a frequently requested building due to it's adjacency to the nude area. Room was nice, but honestly, we headed straight to the window to check out the nekkid people. Yup, they were definitely nekkid. Hmm, not sure if we'd end up venturing down there, but at least we could see the scene if we weren't sure whether we were gonna be a part of it.

Being There

Walked around the resort some and headed to lunch. Generally it didn't seem that crowded, even though a ton of people were in the prude pool hanging out at the bar and playing volleyball. This was an exception though, as we found out they were part of a large group from an Atlanta radio station (after this group left a few days later, the prude pool stayed true to how people described it  mostly empty).  Saw our first invasion of the waterslide by the nude group. Also, the mid-day madness games were finishing up by the main stage and I caught the last glimpse of some game involving a buncha people in a doggy-style position, but with the women behind and the guys on their hands and knees. Looking back on it now, they all seem like such normal lunchtime activities.

After lunch, we decided to hang out at the quad. It wasn't that crowded really. A few small groups of people. Most of the activity centered around 4-5 nude couples hanging out at the bar seeming to have the time of their lives. Of course, these were the close-knit Hedo society folk bonded together by their nekkidness. The clothed people were being much more low key, including us. Everything about this first day reminded me of summer camp. You start off watching other people having a good time, and you wonder if it's gonna be that fun for you. To back up the camp metaphor, we also went to the 5:00 orientation. Only one other couple showed up, Chris and Geri, one of the couples on our bus ride. We ended up hanging out with them a lot throughout the trip. They were both great people.

Foxy led our orientation and she was all attitude right from the beginning. But not in a bad way, it was kind of her persona as an entertainment coordinator (EC). She's fun and we liked her. Even though we'd already walked around, we toured around the property. On the way thru the quad, we passed one of the poolfront rooms with an open bathroom window (the bathrooms on the first floor are close enough for you to probably reach into the tub from the outside). Two nude couples were putting on a shower scene for the quad crowd. Lots of body parts everywhere, but nothing x-rated. They were actually quite friendly, stopping to talk to us as we walked by. Some kind of orientation, huh. If you have any doubts about the R-ratedness of the resort, set your expectations now as it's in your face pretty quickly. But nothing was over the top, and it all seemed like harmless fun. But then again, that's just all in the daytime.

Saturday night is Tropical Splendor theme. Who the hell knows what that meant, but all the EC's were dressed in black. By the way, all the EC's (like 4 men and maybe 7 women) are beautiful. I'd never seen such a good-looking group of people. Went to the main dining area for dinner and ended up sitting near Chris and Geri for showtime (that's the show the staff/resort puts on post-dinner and pre-disco or piano bar time). The EC's ended up pulling us onto the main to dance w/ lots of other folks. Somehow, I got roped into a women's dance contest by Crazy Sean. Almost won it, but got kind of self-conscious at the end and felt a little stupid after they made 4 of us dance against each other way too many times to try to decide a winner. I think we were all ready to forfeit if they'd just let us sit down. Got Hedo bucks though, the first of many (we ended up w/ more than 50 of those little tickets by the end of the trip). Also found out that if the EC's pull you up for an activity and you go, they'll count on you to participate in everything after that. Not a bad thing, just something I noticed. I'm sure we went to the disco that night (I love to dance) and had fun. We were liking the resort a lot by then.

SUNDAY  Hung out at the quad again. By the way, we never once made it to breakfast the whole damn week. Much preferred to stay out late, sleep in, and take advantage of the circus mirrors above the bed ;-) At the quad was where we encountered our first and worst vinny (term used for men who creepily skulk around trying to pick up on people using unwanted advances). Only this vinny was a women! She seemed nice enough at the beginning (while she was still somewhat sober), but as she got progressively drunker, she started to paw all over me, then my hubby, and drunkenly kept asking us the same stupid questions over and over. She finally passed out next to her already-passed out husband, thank god. She was the only person we ever encountered to this extreme. And no real harm done. Goes to show you, the chicks can be just as bad as the guys (in this case, much worse).

On the up note, we also met Mike and Carol at the quad that afternoon. We ended up being bosom buddies with them for almost the whole rest of the trip. They're great people. Sunday night was Battle of the Sexes. Fun games for the men vs. women after dinner. It's so interesting to watch some man or woman who looks so conservative in their sundress, or t-shirts and shorts, only to see them strip down butt naked at the drop of the hat in front of hundreds of clothed strangers. Me and hubby were still fully clothed after 2 days (if a skimpy-ass thong bikini can count as fully clothed). But it's funny, the more naked everyone gets as the week passes, the less strange it becomes.

After showtime, we were talking to Crazy Sean a lot and he introduced us to another couple named Rebecca and Terry by the main bar. They were hanging out at the nude pool a lot, so they were telling us about it. I think we were warming up to the idea to try it out over there. We all went to the disco and had a good time. It wasn't too crowded in there that night. I think that night was the only pole dancing I did. I liked the disco music for the most part too. I thought it was a good mix of dance, pop, and reggae. I think we hit Snack Attack this night (midnight  3:00 a.m. buffet in main dining area), and just about every night after that. You can see a trend in here, we religiously make it to Snack Attack every night and miss breakfast everyday ;-) Priorities, ya know.

MONDAY  I think we floated around the prude pool and beach that day. With both areas almost deserted, it was like me and hubby had an entire resort all to ourselves. It was kind of cool. We went hobie cat sailing too. Fun ride. Take advantage of it, it only takes about 15 minutes and you get to see the resort from an ocean-view. Tried the trapeze out as well. Although I've been to Club Med and Breezes where I was a trapeze addict, so that was kind of been there done that' this trip. Carol did great though, for never having been on trapeze, they let her catch on like her 5th try and she made it. Cool to watch. Monday is also the manager's welcome party on the roof of the Scotch Bonnet around sunset. That was fun. It was a good photo opp for you to get Jamaican sunset photos w/ all your new friends. Other than this event though, the Scotch Bonnet roof at sunset was usually not that crowded. I think 4:00-6:30 is naptime or getting-ready-for-the evening time at Hedo as the crowd everywhere dwindles around this time of day.

Went to Munahana (Japanese Benihana-style restaurant) w/ Mike and Carol that night. Yummy. Liked it much better than the buffet food. 70s night theme was that evening. I'm sure we went to the piano bar and disco. Piano bar is fun, although it's kind of repetitive night after night. Just get drunk and sing your heart out, you won't notice they're doing Piano Man yet again.

TUESDAY  I think we finally worked up our courage up to make it to the nude beach that day. Of course, for us that meant sitting up on the second level next to some palm trees. Actually I guess I wasn't fully nude, I kept my bottom's on. Several other women had their's on too, so I never felt uncomfortable about it. But I wasn't walking around much, so probably no one noticed. Hubby was not so lucky, he had to strip down and spray sunscreen where he'd never sprayed sunscreen before. He admitted after awhile, it did feel kind of liberating to be unencumbered by clothes. The beach bottom is rocky as they say, but tread out further and you can stand up where it's not so rocky. It's not really a swimming beach though (it or the prude one), more a cool-off and socialize type place. We never did hang out at the nude pool in the daytime, mostly just the nude beach.

PJ party night made the vacation J. It was the quintessential really-damn-good-Hedo-time. Went to dinner w/ the regular group (now Mike & Carol, and another cool couple named J.P. and Kathy who we'd also met Sunday at the quad). The night was a blast, hung out at the beach after dinner, changed into our PJ's, hit the piano bar, and then the disco. I think this was the first time we went down the waterslide after the disco. Naked watersliding at night may seem out there, but ya really gotta try it. I'm sure it helped to wake us up for the rest of the night too. I'm guessing we hit Snack Attack again, before we ended up in the quad Jacuzzi w/ a dozen or so other people. We all just enjoyed hanging out there and staged our own loud-ass sing-along-fest til 4:00 a.m. (probably annoying everyone in the quad). They shoulda just joined us anyway. Nothing like singin Friends in Low Places at the top of your lungs while in a Jacuzzi drunk and naked at 4:00 a.m. Thanks to Kevin and Lisa as they were the primary other songbirds.

WEDNESDAY  I woke up that morning still drunk off my ass from the night before. Ironically, this was the day we were booked to go to Dunn's River Falls, so we had to get up at the crack of 9:30 a.m. Miraculously, I never got sick and managed to nicely maintain my buzz til we were halfway up the Falls. It was a cool day-trip. I'm glad we went since we skipped it last year. But don't go on Wednesdays, the biggest cruise ship in the world, Voyager of the Seas, goes that day. Take a disposable waterproof camera you can carry too. You'll get wet and you'll have to give your guide your regular camera to hold if it's not waterproof.

Night-time was Beach Party night and Bare as you Dare. Another really fun evening J. All the tables are set-up on the beach and you eat while the circus team performs feats of wonder and amazement. It really was a cool show. Then everyone plays beach games on 2 teams. You're better off not wearing shorts or pants as a lot of the games require you holding stuff between your legs, haha. Hedo Sluts rule! Also, we got to see our old circus team staff from Breezes, Javon and Orlando. They were performing in the Hedo III circus that night. It was cool that they remembered me and hubby, and quickly forgave us for not returning to Breezes ;-) This is where I'll mention that we thought the staff at Breezes was a little more genuine and even-keeled than the Hedo staff. Don't get me wrong, while the Hedo staff is great at getting the party going, performing, and entertaining, a lot of them always seem to be wearing a personality. It's not a bad thing, but sometimes it can come across as a little insincere. We hung out one-to-one with some of them and they would be down-to-earth and conversational, then we'd see them later and it's like they changed personalities. They were all very integral to the good time though and helped the place to be a lot of fun. 

I think we also went to the nude Jacuzzi and pool for the first time that night. Our group just wanted to hang out and drink (I think the nude pool bar stays open the latest out of all the bars), but it seemed like the Jacuzzi was already full of couples having sex or doing something that looked like they were having sex. So our gang just hung out in the pool area. The public sex part isn't really as provocative as you might think. Strangely, you start to just not notice all the skin after awhile since it's everywhere - Playboy channel on TV, nude pool, nude beach, nude waterslide, even fully-clothed people are still dressed pretty skimpy (or maybe that was just me). And like it's been said before, all shapes and sizes, though most people seemed to be in relatively decent shape.

THURSDAY  We went scuba diving. Very cool because we were the only ones on the dive trip. The dive master was nice, the dive boat was pristine, equipment seemed well maintained. The marine life near the dive site (Pear Tree Bottom) wasn't outstanding (we did see an eagle ray), but it's always cool to be breathing underwater. I think we went out on the boat later that day for Joe and Mike to try wakeboarding and skiing as well. Don't fret too much about the clouds and lightning that always descend in the mountains around 4:00 either. It got overcast around that time most of the days, but never rained the whole week (that I remember).

Toga night  Another great night J. We'd brought material from home to make our togas. I highly recommend doing this as the material Hedo supplies you with for togas smells, like um, like something you don't want wrapped around your bare skin. We spent way too much time trying to put our togas together, but I guess it was worth it. I won Sexiest Toga that night, while wearing a toga that actually covered more skin than my daytime bikini (and next to 2 girls topless girls wearing only body paint). Go figure. Good design pays off I guess. We were surprised to see less than half the crowd in togas at dinner. Seems like a lot of people also checked in that day as that was the start of all the preparations for the Superclubs 25th anniversary celebration. After Thursday, it seemed there were way more people around, but less of them participating in the theme nights. This was Carol's birthday and her's and Mike's anniversary also, so we stuck with the party routine of disco, waterslide, nude pool. In Mike's words, if the recipe works, don't change it.

FRIDAY  Our last full day L. Mike and Joe wakeboarded some more. We hit the nude beach. I think this was maybe the only time in the daytime that I was fully nude in front of our friends. No problem though, that's what I love about Hedo. TONS of construction going on throughout the day to prepare for that weekend's 25th anniversary party. The resort transformed itself setting up stages, lights, decorations, etc.. It was Costume/Masquerade night w/ a futuristic theme.  All dinner tables were setup on the terrace area and the buffet was absolutely huge and sprawling. To match, they let in people from other Superclubs resorts like Braco and Breezes, so there were hundreds of people everywhere. But they all got bussed out by around midnight. You guessed it, same recipe that night too. Disco, waterslide, pool.

SATURDAY  Last Day L. Bags had to be outside the door by around 10:30. We also distributed some school supplies we'd brought to our cleaning lady, Donna, and the quad bartender, Sunshine. We'd asked them if they had children, and they both did. It's an easy thing for guests to do, and I think it means a lot to the staff. The awesome thing about the Air Jamaica resort check-in was that since our bags were checked already and we had the boarding passes, we were able to hang out in the main pool literally til 2:45 w/ our friends. Then 15 minutes to dry off, change, and walk to the front desk. Our bus left at 3:00.

Going Home

We didn't want to go. We had the best vacation ever. Hedo III is really like a luxurious camp for adults. There's tons of activities for you to participate in, the EC's are like sexy beautiful camp counselors, you meet friends that you bond with, you can do everything or nothing, and then you're sad to leave.

So for those of you who are still trying to decide whether to go, you can guess my advice. Lastly, it seemed that most of the people we met at Hedo had never heard of this web site. So the fact that you're reading this report means you have a helluva lot more information about the resort than it's average visitor. And on the flipside, it also means a lot of the info you're reading on the site may not be the average visitor's experience (i.e. don't get scared away).  

All that said and done, get your ass down there. They say it nourishes the Mind, Body, Spirit, and Soul. It's corny, but it's really rings true. We'd go back in a heartbeat. This from avid tropical vacationers who always like to try someplace new. Jamaica is really a wonderful island and Hedo III is the best place to spend it at.

Tips

If you have any questions, I love nothing more than to talk about vacations.

Joe and Allison