Arrival/Check-in: Well the bus finally arrived at Hedo 3, and I had to fill out a couple of forms, and one of the staff volunteered to show me to my room afterward. It doesn't take too long if you arrive at 4 or 5 pm.
Accomodations: I was assigned to the 800 building on the third floor (833), which has a nice view of the ocean, overlooks the giant chessboard, the boardwalk and you can see a couple of picnic tables plus a six-foot wide section of the nude side. It was nice and centrally located, prude in front, nude in back. And sitting in that Jacuzzi bathtub with the windows open and the waves crashing outside, well that's vacation, mon!!! There was a slight problem with ants around the bathroom sink, but the staff is generally very good about response time- when I came back to my room later, there was not an ant to be seen.
Food: (I am saving the
best part for last)
Main Dining Room: Try to time your dinners either when
less people are there, or when somebody you know goes to eat , because sometimes
you can't find a table. There is a wonderful variety of food and the drink
service is usually fantastic. Smoked marlin was excellent!!!!
Scotch Bonnet: One of the things that surprised me is
that it is not a traditional indoor restaurant. Great place to be at sunset with
the waves crashing just a few feet away. And Cornelius James gives exceptional
service- once he saw me sit down and told me that my
jerk chicken was already being prepared. He certainly is
very dedicated.
Pastafari: Excellent tenderloin marsala- what's even scarier is that you're probably eating better than normal, and you don't have to pay for it!!! Be sure to make reservations ASAP!
Munahana: Same as Pastafari- outstanding!!!
Dinner Under The Stars (lobster)- I missed this because I ate at Munahana Wed at 7:30 pm, but everyone I talked to raved about the lobster. I won't miss this next time!!
NUDITY: OK, everyone, I'll tell you about some of the things that happened on the nude side now. Now the week that I went down, there were a lot of couples on the nude side, so if you are a single male, don't be discouraged if you don't hook up the first five minutes you are there. It will be obvious if you stare too much or get too sexually aggressive that you are there to get laid, and most people will avoid you. Hedo is about relaxing, and once you become a familiar face and show people that they can trust you, well they can make your vacation all the more enjoyable. Volleyball is a great icebreaker- and everyone else usually watches. Round up people for the slide- even ask someone if you can get them a drink. One of the best times to set up camp on the nude side is about 8:30 am, when the sun is just starting to shine above the buildings. You can meet a lot of people when the pool or beach isn't too crowded.
Volleyball: If you are on the fountain side, stand near the fountain where the water is two feet deep so that everyone can see your exposed genitals when you serve. One girl started this practice and it certainly caught on. Hit the ball in the hot tub every once in a while, hit the ball by the nude bar, just do it in moderation. The little splash makes people laugh- just don't do it when there are other things going on. Be silly- this is the place...
Slide: Naked. Period. Often. Take your towel and throw it down to the pool deck and do it all over again.
Sexy Stuff- One girl told the bartender it was her birthday at midnight, so he called over, had a cake made, and she smeared it all over her body. She then picked six guys, of which I was the fourth, and I was charged with licking a breast and part of her abdomen clean- this was a complete surprise, but Hedo is about surprises. I saw six couples having slow sex in the hot tub simultaneously- even a fivesome. Sex in the hot tub after midnight- definitely- no sex police around that I saw. Plenty of nudity going to and from rooms on nude side. Bocce ball (Jamaican bowling) on nude beach can get you lots of Hedobucks (I ended up with H30$ 1.75 million- enough for a bottle of rum and T-Shirt). I won't say too much more, after all, what happens at Hedo, stays at Hedo.
Piano Bar: Never excessively crowded. Fast drink service. A pleasant break from all the activity on the nude side. Good tunes.
Disco: Great location! You can go up the spiral staircase to the slide, relax in the glass-bottomed hot tub, put your duds on (maybe not if it is late enough) and go back in for a few more Red Stripes and boogie. It is reputed that this is where single women go, and I think there were five when I was down there, but two left on Monday, two were lesbians, and one didn't seem too happy about the goings on at Hedo (it can be overwhelming at first). I also heard that there are single girls on the prude side, but since I did not spend much time over there, I might have missed out on meeting some of them.
The Booze Cruise: Costs an extra $45- nice to go out on the open ocean in a catamaran. Plenty of Red Stripe and Rum Punch. Clothing- optional.
Exchange rate: J$44 = US$1 (i,e. US$100= J$4400). American money goes a long way- use it wisely.
Nude Bar&Grill: I would like to commend Nola and the rest of the staff at the Nude Bar&Grill for their exceptional service. They were even seen all the way on the right nude beach sun deck taking and delivering orders! She even gave me a guided tour of the complex after her shift was over. They were all pretty prompt at filling drink orders, and there were some good Jamaican reggae/rap tunes on the radio. They deserve a lot of credit for staying open as late as they do.
Entertainment Coordinators:
I would like to thank Foxy, Romeo, Carol aka Tina Turner, and all the other EC's
who did the best they could in organizing events and activities. My only
complaint is that there are really four schedules- the one in the Entertainment
Center (which is supposedly final), the one on Channel 12, the one you get when
you check in, and the one on various web sites. I was disappointed that there
were not more activities for singles, as I met lots of women who had
companions, That's OK- the main thing is that I got some badly needed R&R,
and nobody was rude to me, even though I was technically a "vinnie"
(if that means a single man?).
Perhaps Hedo 2 is better for singles, but I am sure I
will visit Hedo 3 again- time seemed almost nonexistent here. No cell phones and
very little to remind you of mainstream civilization. Will I bring a girl here?
Perhaps in the near future, but at least I've been to Hedo 3 and know what to
expect, although a word to the wise is to expect the unexpected on some nights.
Well, this is all I can think to say for now. But I will say that nobody talked about February, 2001, the Internet, the stock market, their houses, or said too much about their careers. That was all left behind. Just to witness the youthful vigor and childlike excitement on the nude side was worth the price of the trip. A week at Hedo will definitely show you how beautiful and free you really are, when you are not weighed down by the stresses and trials of your normal life. Time is measured in terms of the day of the week at Hedo. This in itself very liberating!!! By all means go- you'll witness the truth of my words with your own eyes...
Thanks- Al
xcrunch@netscape.net