Scott & Rose

Okay, so we actually left on October 25 and came back on November 7. We found out it was cheaper to fly if we stayed longer, so we spent the remaining days at the Wyndham Rose Hall Resort in Montego Bay. Mistake, but I'll get to that later... We were part of the Kink in the Caribbean group, so we booked our stay separate from our flight there.

Plane ride (Northwest Airlines) was fine. When we caught our transfer in Minnesota, we picked up Captain Smirnoff and his bimbo. These two were absolutely plastered. I swear she was giving him head on the plane. Then later, she's yelling for Suzie on a crowded plane. On our stop to Tampa, everyone got off for customs, and off they went to drink some more. We finally got back on the plane, flew to Jamaica, and got through customs, no problem.

The airport itself was a problem. We were staying at the Wyndham first, and finding the desk took a lot of asking. This is not like the US where the hotels send their vans for you. We were envious of anyone staying at one of the Super Clubs resorts. They have a big desk and seem to be on top of it. We finally had one guy take us to the van we were to go on. We carried our own luggage, and yes, he expected a tip, just for showing us to the van. No, we didn't tip him, and the van driver ran him off.

The Wyndham is a beautiful resort hotel and they expect you to dress for dinner. Uh oh! I only brought shorts, t-shirts and swimsuits along with my fetish clothes. Needless to say, I was very limited on where I could eat at the resort. Hedo is looking more promising at this time. Also, since we did not go "all inclusive" which is an option at Wyndham, we got raped on food and drinks. Yep, $17.00 for a breakfast buffet that isn't 1/4 of what Hedo has and $16.00 for 2 strawberry daquiris. OUCH! The grounds here are absolutely stunning with a waterslide you go down on an innertube, and a three tiered pool which you go down short waterslides to get into the next one. The also have a current running around an island in the pool where you can float on an innertube around the island with two waterfalls and a series of fountains. They also have a nice beach with hobie cats, sunfish, and ocean kayaks. The tour desk there is NOT helpful! They don't tell you what days them tours run, they aren't well informed (they told us to get into Rose Hall the plantation house which is supposedly haunted was $25.00. Our impromptu guide we picked up while walking there told us that it was $20.00 because we are staying on the plantation.)

Okay, enough about Wyndham! The bell hop called Hedo III for us so they could stop the bus at Wyndham to pick us up instead of having to go to the airport again. While we were looking forward to the ride and the stops for red stripe, they sent us a cab instead. What a ride! Jamaicans are wild drivers! they pass with inches to spare! No problem mon! If you don't like it, just close your eyes, click your heels three times and say, "There's no place like home!" Of course, then you will miss the scenery! Yes, there is incredible poverty in Jamaica. It is a third world country! The minimum wage for Jamaica is $30.00 a week.

We got to Hedo at 11:30 am. MISTAKE!!! Check out at Hedo is at 12:00 and check in isn't until 3:00. It didn't help that not only was our group checking in that day, but also a group of Lifestylers. Around 290 people were checking in that day. Romeo took us by the hand, got our drinks, then took us to the Scotch Bonnet for lunch. After eating there, we were hooked! The jerked pork was incredible, so we ate there every day for lunch. Definitely try the jerk burger! We had a 2 1/2 hour wait for our room. We tried to be understanding, after all, the maids have to clean the rooms first. However, when people who were just showing up were getting their rooms right away, we grabbed Romeo and he helped us to get our room.

Our room was in the 100 building on the bottom floor, which is a swim up room. The room was wonderful and the pool is beautiful and clothing optional. Yes, at this point, life is good! We have smiles on our face from ear to ear! We did have a slight problem with sugar ants in our bathroom, and calls to the front desk brought someone to spray for them. Unfortunately, those suckers were persistant. I suggest you do not leave any drink or food in your room. Luckily, they stayed in the bathroom and didn't bother us. Next time we'll bring some ant spray. We did not hear the disco all night, but once at 5:00 am someone was at the quad pool howling at the moon. I was starting to sleep despite the howling, when I heard some one yell for the guy to shut up or they were going to shove a dildo up his ass.

We met some wonderful people in our group. We went to the nude pool once at night when it was slow. We got to talk to some lifestylers. Most of the time we were busy doing activities that our group had for us. I did participate in the wet t-shirt contest. Yeah, that's a little off! Basically, if you don't show your breasts, you don't win. I was prepared from the trip reports so when my name was called, I strutted on to stage and immediately took off my t-shirt. I was wearing a sheer bra and g-string set, so it was see-through when wet. Yep, off came my shorts too! Basically you have 25 guys who are judging lined up on the steps, and you do a lap dance for each one. Then, when everyone is done, they put you in pairs, you pick someone from the audience, and they do something: Eat cookies off you, lick chocolate syrup off you, you do a lap dance for them, they eat a banana out of your pants, show 5 different sexual positions, or in my case, you had to pretend that they were just out of prison for 15 years, show what you would do in the first 30 seconds when they come home. It was a blast, and I came in third.

We went on the Ocho Rios tour. It was great but the craft market is not for the timid! You get dragged into each stall and you have to look. Then, you just smile and say, "No thank you!" then off you get dragged into the next stall. You find out that all the stalls have the same stuff! Yep, after one row, you are looking for the tour bus so you can get out of there! The trip ends with Dunns River Falls. We had a guide included with our trip, but you don't really need one. They also video taped our climb. I bought a copy, and it is nice to show our family and friends.

We also did the 2 1/2 hour horseback ride. You ride down to the ocean, then get off, change into your swimsuit. They take the saddles off the horses, put a bareback pad on, then you get back on and swim the horses in the ocean. It was so much fun, and I highly recommend it for anyone who enjoys riding!

All the restaurants there are good, but book the Japanese and the Italian restaurants when you get there. It took us 4 days to get into the Japanese restaurant, and it was wonderful! I HIGHLY recommend you bring an insulated cup. We read about it in a trip report and so many people told us they had wished they had brought one!

Go down the slide nude! During the middle of the day, Romeo brought a parade of nude lifestylers to the waterslide. It looked like so much fun, two of us joined them. When we got to the bottom, one of the lifestylers asked if I was with their group. I told them, "No, but you looked like you were having so much fun, I just thought I'd join in!" She just laughed. Join in to as many activities as you want! Don't worry about what you look like, after all, who cares! They aren't going home with you! The guy who went down the slide with me said when he first got there, he was not going to take his shirt off at all. A few days later, he's stripping in front of everyone to go down the slide, not once, but three times!

We were never offered any ganja, but some people in our group were. I wasn't about to do partake in that particular activity and I don't recommend it for anyone who's work has random drug tests. Yep, 7:00 am the morning I got back, I was called for my "RANDOM" drug test. No problem mon! I told them they might as well schedule me for one next year since I'm going back!

Scott & Rose - 10/00