THE JOURNEY  

Funjet Vacations out of DFW on the 12^th of October. Expected nightmares, cause it was a charter, but, on time departure, on time arrival – both going and coming. No problems at all, customs a breeze, check in at Superclubs desk in the terminal was a little confusing (I was not sure if they really paid attention to where our bags were going) but we were on vacation and as long as we got to the resort, who cares about a little confusion!! No lines on the way back, everything a breeze!!!  

ARRIVAL  

So many porters trying to load your bags, almost too confusing to know which one to tip, but do the best you can, a dollar a bag should suffice. This has always amused me but you would have thought that they built buses with places for the bags, but no, they load them in one of the rear windows and stack them up against the rear of the bus. Sitting at the back as we did I wondered if I would get buried if the driver had to make an emergency stop!!! Then I realized – this is Jamaica- the drivers don’t stop for anything!!! Yes, they are a little faster than we would drive, but they are used to it.  

BUS RIDE  

The bus ride was as expected, great driver, wonderful traveling companions. We all had a really good chat on the way and eventually stopped for the obligatory Red Stripes and Ting!!! That was fine and welcomed at the time too. We were all first timers to Hedo III, so no one had the inside scoop. I had been to Sandals Negril before and Hedo II as a day visitor and others had done a couple of the other local resorts, so we tried to paint a picture, but no one really cared, we were on vacation and we were all relaxed and having a great time already!! The constant conversation on the bus made the journey really short. On arrival the driver expects a little” something”, but that is the last time that anyone will ever ask for a tip! They might remind you when their day off is if you are leaving at that time, but no one waits, or asks for a tip, they risk their jobs if they do.  

CHECK-IN  

Finally get there and dreading the notorious check-in. Not so dreaded for us. Ebony was very polite and helpful. Less than 30 minutes and we are in Room 615 – wow what a great room. Step outside your back door and a few steps to the nude pool and the nude beach. Could not have asked for better. I cheated a little and when they offered a second floor room I pointed out that Jane would have difficulty negotiating the stairs, so they gave us ground floor instead.  I hope they did not see her running up the stairs to the slide all those times!!!!  

THE ROOM  

Everything was in our room, hairdryer, iron and board, a/c control (although it is not very user friendly, we figured it out). There was a TV. there, but I don’t know why! We turned on the Playboy channel, but the porn was really lame. If anyone finds a use for the TV, they are not having a good time.  We burned a bunch of music cd’s to take and enjoyed them, except that the cd player did not read the cd R/W disks, but did read the write only ones. No explanation for that unless I did something wrong when I recorded them, but they play at home. There is a shade in the bathroom, but it sort of camouflages itself and ends up looking like the wall above the window. We did not find it necessary to use it, or the curtains on our patio door, although one night Jane noticed some guys walking backward and forward past our door. When I went to investigate, I found a “local” youth standing outside our neighbor’s window, with a drink in his hand, peeping in their window. He was so bold as to tell me what he was doing  “Girl Mon, I see girl”, so I ushered him off and later reported the incident to security. No big deal, but privacy is privacy. Personally I think that the rooms are pretty near perfect, lovely Jacuzzi, nice layout and if you lay on the bed just right, guys, you will find that you have the biggest “bamboo” you have ever seen, but a pimple for a head!!!! What an ego booster!  

FIRST FEW HOURS  

If you are a nudist like myself, the first trip to the pool is nothing, but if you are a newbie like Jane, it is also nothing. This place is so comfortable that as long as it took her to decide to wear a wrap or not, she was already at the pool and never gave her nudity another thought for the whole trip. In fact she mentioned that she would love to go other similar places, but only if they allowed a “nude” side!!! We strolled as far as the Scotch Bonnet naked and also wandered pretty close to the “games” area and gym. The only time anyone said anything was to Philip at 6.00am one morning when he was wandering around the prude side naked (no one was there, but one of the staff asked him to put a towel on).  

THE (not so) BAD  

Hate to be so positive, but everything was almost perfect for us. First night our Toga sheets did not arrive and although I was prepared for this Jane bugged the front desk until we finally searched our bags and found suitable togs for the evening!!! Other than that we cannot think of a complaint. There are a few things that people had mentioned:

Yes, the tiles are slippery, but get over it, they impacted us so little that it was almost a non-event. They are working (guys on their hands and knees with putty knives scraping away) on it. Towels can be found by the nude pool, the best time to get them, we found, was on our way back to the room after a night of fun!! .  Whoever said that nothing ever dries there was sooo right. I even started hanging stuff on the steps down to the nude beach to dry in the sun, but as luck would have it forgot about them and lo and behold it rained in the afternoons!! Some stuff came back wet with us in plastic bags!! We found the lists of what to take very useful and brought just about everything on the list. We really did not want for anything the entire trip.  

THE REALLY REALLY GREAT  

ENTERTAINMENT  

We participated in most of the theme nights, except were not really into the “seventies” night. Toga, P.J. Masquerade, bare as you dare (take them at their word like Philip did). Jane was a little under the weather that night and Philip ended up dancing naked on the pole at the disco bar- he is still wondering where all the photos are from all the flashes that were going off!! You’ve got to get into this for the fun, it really makes a difference how many participate. Piano bar opens late but was such fun the two nights we went there, we plan to go a lot more next time. We also plan to take afternoon naps; because most stuff starts late 11.00 or 11.30 and we needed the extra wind to keep up!!

We played pool volleyball at the nude pool, some beach games and Philip was the only male contestant in the Wet T-shirt contest and he admits that it was just a ploy to get back stage with 25 women trying to wet themselves and “look” their best. We were members of the Battle of the sexes game and had a blast!!! When they tell you they want a “nude male- or female” - be the one that strips and runs forward!!!! We found that “we” the participants were actually the entertainment for those that preferred to sit and watch and we tried to continue that throughout the trip. Philip spent a lot of time running around in a red glitter wig and various outrageous briefs!!!! He loved it and apparently the others did too as he was constantly getting asked for a photo to be taken with him, especially on the prude side and many people thought that he worked there!!! Jane went to the Managers Party, dressed only in a wrap around her waist and the rest of her painted!!!! We were in a minority, but we had a blast!! Two memorable occasions were when we managed to get everyone at the nude pool to get into the hot tub so it overflowed and almost managed to “dunk” Anne Marie – one of the bartenders (what a sport) and second when we organized a nude conga line of about 40 people over to the “prude” side (thanks to a brainstorm by Scott & Evie) and all went down the slide naked in the middle of the afternoon. Management handled that well and merely ran to get towels, so that when we got out we had something to cover our naked bodies!!!! Flashes from the “prude” side were going off non-stop, so I’ll bet they got some great pictures! We found that you could go naked in quite a few places and Philip actually went into the Piano bar sans clothes. He was polite enough to ask the bartenders if it would be ok, but you should have seen the looks from the ladies that were in there. One of them told him “ You are sure a brave guy” Seems as though, as long as you are not causing a stir and no one complains, nudity is not a major issue, except for the dining areas and he even wandered in there late at night with no problems. The secret is to respect the others and if they ask you to get dressed, find a towel and comply!!!! Some even told us that people had gone to Pastafari nude, but we did not see that when we were there.  

THE STAFF  

PeeWee, Tristan, Delicious, Sly, Teddy – all of the entertainment guys worked so hard for our fun. One night at 12.30 they were practicing dance routines in the main dining area, only to be up at 7.00 or so to get the guests going for another day!! Other nights they participated until the wee hours for a sing along in the piano bar and still made it to work the next day!!! When you hear the call Onnnneeeee Thirrrtttyyyyyy – answer it and you will have a great time!!!! Be OUTRAGEOUS!!!!!! These guys work 16 hours a day- for our pleasure!!! The girls at the nude pool bar were great. Anne Marie, Suzette, Antoinette and Nola. They really knew how to “spice” things up at the right time and were great sports. I saw several occasions where they had set up guys to have “body shots” performed on them by several women and they even allowed me behind the bar to deliver the goods to three ladies who had so graciously volunteered to have “body shots” done on them. These girls will go with the flow – help them stretch their limits a little. Everyone will enjoy it.  

My advice: Talk to the staff, the bartenders, the cooks, the managers, the front desk people. Have fun with them, use their first names, and tell them who you are – get to know them, we did. Shake hands and thank them for the time they are giving you. And remember- they are working and you are playing  

RELAXING  

Our mornings were spent on the nude beach floating on the various “donated” rafts with friends and having a whale of a time. Be on the lookout for the “Blue Shoe” floating around, it became the beginning of a constant joke with the group that was there. Afternoons had us frolicking at the nude pool, sampling the fare at the grill, sipping cocktails and generally having as much fun as you can with your clothes off and participating in any “events” that were going on there. Drinks were good, probably each one at least a double, but not so much that you got drunk too quickly, as I had experienced at other resorts.  

EATING  

Food was great; we ate at Pastafari twice and Munahana once. We screwed up or reservations one evening and right on schedule we received a call from the restaurant, asking where we were!!!  Scotch Bonnet was a good place for late afternoon snacks while the band played upstairs, although we missed the band most nights. We really liked the nude pool grill and had many meals there. The main dining room was fine and had a varied selection, so we could always try different if we wanted.  

SEX

It was great!!!! Oh! -  was I supposed to talk about others having sex?

Yes, we saw some sights, but nothing that was objectionable or bothersome in any way. There was a lot of fondling your partner and the occasional oral incident (including on the bed in the disco one evening) and yes there were a few that were going at it, but usually in a remote area where they did not impact anyone else (we went out on one of the decks at the nude beach one evening and gave a great show for those with infra red cameras!). The nice thing was that at all times it seemed appropriate, mainly because of the atmosphere and the attitude of the people that were there then. “Body shots” demand that you lick the liquor off the privates of the person who is the lickee!!! So right there you are watching oral sex! No one made unwanted advances toward us and neither did we see or hear of anyone who was shocked by any of the “goings on” An outright orgy – this is NOT.  

FINAL WORD  

This was the best vacation ever!!! We are going back in February for a honeymoon and again next October, hopefully we may meet up with some of the other wonderful people that were there: Sammie and Donnie, John & Nina, our friends Kim and Brad along with their friends Ray &Kay.  Scott & Evie, Tony and Debbie, Lori & Lizzie, Rich and Anne, Jeff & Bev, Josh(the other guy who stripped naked during battle of the sexes) and Dean and too many more that we came in contact with that helped make our stay such fun.  

ADVICE  

Get photos and e-mail addresses of your fellow “playmates” We neglected to do this and are mad at ourselves!!! We had joined the Hedo III October site (invite only) and found that to be great!!! There were already people at the resort that we knew from their photos on the site and it made it a little easier to make friends, but making friends here was the easiest thing to do, so no worry if you are alone, just start talking.

Do at least some of the things that you promised yourself you would do before you went!!! We had great plans of scuba diving, snorkeling, riding the hobie cat, trampoline and juggling. Did not do any of them, were having too much fun socializing and being fools!!!!! Next time we will schedule some of these events  

SEE WHAT CAN HAPPEN!  

On a final note, the wonderful time that we had inspired me to propose to Jane at the airport on the way home. She accepted and we are getting married November 23^rd with a honeymoon planned to Hedo III early next year. And in addition to that we are also going to book our reservations there for next October!!!  

If anyone wants any further information you can e-mail us at: philipcooke@yahoo.com 

We are going through our pictures and may post some at a later date, after the Wedding!!!!  

Jane & Philip (Early fifties couple) 10/12 – 10/19.