August 19-25, 2000
We decided on a last minute booking to visit Hedo 3, primarily due to the reports on this web site, instead of one of our rigorous adventure vacations, which usually leaves us in need of another week to recover. Guess what? We still need another week off, but for totally different reasons. We never got the sitting around in the sun, drinking umbrella drinks all day. We had fun. Lots of clean, naughty, sometimes very naughty fun. We did all that other stuff, too.
Getting There:
No problems. Out of ATL 15 minutes before the flight was suppose to take off. Got to MBJ and wasn't on the ground ten minutes before getting on the bus, which wasn't that bad. You should see the roads on some other Caribbean islands. Check in was delayed long enough to get some great jerk chicken/pork at Scotch Bonnet and then to the rooms.
The Property:
Very nice and new. The staff does a great job keeping the grounds clean and neat. Once the plants and trees mature, it will be outstanding. The rooms are great. Bonuses: Mirrored ceilings, CD players, safes, 2 person Jacuzzi, and very comfortable bed. We had 3rd floor 700 building on the end toward the disco. Noise was not a problem. A/C can be very loud, but that's due to the ice buildup inside. Give a rest once in a while and melt the ice and it will be very quiet.
Food:
Italian Restaurant was excellent. Japanese was fair, but I had too many margaritas that day, so it's not a fair judgement. Everyone else seemed to enjoy it. Scotch Bonnet was very good for lunch. Some of the best jerk around. Buffet was okay. Breakfast was very good, especially the omelet bar, and you must find the pasta bar for dinner if you can't get into the restaurants. The service at all dining areas was excellent.
Drinks:
Everything, everywhere. They don't scrimp on alcohol. We brought the insulated cups as suggested. Good idea, but be careful. In the hot sun they go down very easy and you could ruin your day. Pace yourself.
Water Sports:
Thought about diving, but left the gear at home, although their scuba equipment is new and good quality. The ocean was pretty rough, so things were stirred up and visibility low at a marginal dive site on a good day. They are very protective of there one remaining Hobie Cat. Will give rides but won't allow you to take it out on your own. After much pleading with the manager, she let me take it out as long as one of the staff went along. Bruce, the windsurfing guy, when out with me every morning before officially opening and sailed until exhausted. He's a great personality, but the mood was changed mid-week when one of the scuba guys was fired, for whatever reason. Trouble in paradise.
Entertainment Staff:
Basically, anything Pee-Wee is involved in is going to be fun. Get to know him, he's a fascinating guy. Shawn's activities will be nothing but perverted. So, you'll have a ton of fun. Lacey, if she's in the mood can get things going, but she won't push too hard to stir things up. She's got lots of attitude, but warms up when she gets to know you. The rest were around, but not in the same way as these three.
Activities & Games:
They took place about half of the time. I think the staff was stretch thin because they were preparing for a bunch of VIPs the next week, so they kinda forgot about us. So make your own fun. Some of the mid-day and nighttime activities were weak, but a couple were hilarious. Basically, if it required or resulted in bared skin, it would be a hoot.
Nude Pool vs. Prude Pool
I say pools instead of beaches, because the beaches are almost non-existent, but they did the best with what they got, considering that the resort is built on a wind and wave swept lava field. The action isn't on the beaches, anyway. The nude pool is the smallest pool, but has a great staff who mans the bar/grill. Most of the people will end up here. It's a shame they never designed more room for the nude side. The prude side is almost completely deserted. Be careful on the wet tiles. Can be very hot along with being slippery. I'd suggest wearing shoes or sandals with a razorcut deck shoe design. We have TEVAs with the deck sole and had no trouble. We also brought our own double raft. Good idea in the pool. The wind would blow us against the rocks on the jetty around the nude beach. Go down the waterslide every chance you get. It's faster naked and hold your nose at the bottom.
Excursions:
Too much to miss if you leave the resort, but we did go on one, which can't be missed. For $65/person, the ATV-Dunn's River Falls tip is a lot of bang for the buck. Great operation. You meet up in Ochos Rios for a guided ATV ride up the mountain to a great overlook. It's fast, fun, and dirty, which is okay, because you then go to the Falls. The staff is wonderful. A support vehicle carries your belongings and takes pictures of you with your own cameras. They encourage you NOT to take the guided climb up the falls and they are right. It's faster and much more fun. What impressed us the most was that after forgetting that I had given the owner of the ATV company a roll of used film to hold for me while in the water, he personally delivered it all the way the Hedo 3 ten minutes after we returned to the resort. I can't say enough about the service on and off the property that we experienced. Just a hint. If there is shopping involved in an excursion, don't do it. You'll be sorry.
Sex, Sex, Sex:
Okay, it was there, but not everywhere. I think it's the atmosphere that is so sexual charged more than anything. The entertainment coordinators get things started by pulling people off their butts and playing dirty pool games. Fun to watch, but more fun to participate. Body shots, dirty dice, chocolate syrup licking, whatever, it usually end up the same way. Doing something in public you would never dream of, but always wanted to do. The swingers took this activity pretty seriously and kinda intimidated the female half of straight couples early in the week. Women on women, couples switching partners to where you weren't sure you belonged to who. No outright sex, but definitely an outtake from a quality porn flick. Once, their group started thinning our later in the week, it was all couples and the fun factor dramatically increased. A lot of laughs by everyone. Just a lot of good, clean, dirty fun. Is that possible? Oh, the sex part. We did witnessed on quick hot tub encounter one night, and a couple going with the motion of the ocean in the water at the nude beach during the day, but we never had the stamina to stay up late, long enough to catch the goings-ons at night. Maybe next time. A lot of screams of ecstasy during the night. Kudos to our neighbors. 4-5x/day. We tried out the hammock and the sunning deck after dark, so I'm sure someone got a show.
Parties:
Disco was dead most of the time. Toga party was fun. Good participation of over half the crowd. We won the best couple's toga with the help of the very loud voices of our new found friends. We made our matching togas at home from material bought at the fabric store for very cheap. Looked sharp, but was destroyed going down the water slide. Bare-as-you-dare got rained out due to a huge thunderstorm. PJ night was okay, but very short due to the preparations for the VIPs. But, at least they gave the awards out early, which we won best bondage. This is were the trip reports was wrong. Thinking the PJ's would be skimpy and shear, we ordered matching leather outfits. So I had on a leather thong, and Ginny had a leather teddy with the boobs hanging out. Needless to say, we walk into the disco and most of the guys have on boxers and the girls had things your mother would be wearing. So what. We had fun and won some more rum. Basically, it takes skin to win.
The People:
The staff is the best of any resort we've been. The guests were great and we made a lot of new friends for all over and from all walks of life. We had no trouble with vinnies or wallies and the couple that were there made for some comic relief. Never noticed cameras or videos. None of the problems we read about in the postings. There was a rumor that a guy set up a digital camera/laptop overlooking the nude pool, from his room, with a live feed to the internet. ala "American Pie." Got caught when someone notice the red record light. Thank you everyone we met for a great time.
Getting Home:
Equally smooth. A sea of people at MBJ, but we got in a short line and waited to get checked-in in only ten minutes. Hurricane Debby was not an issue. The sun was shining when we left.
We will go back and I hope we won't be disappointed with our high expectations. The atmosphere is dictated by the crowd on any given week, it just takes someone to get it started and the staff to show the way.
So in conclusion: I would take; open mind inflatable rafts insulated cups w/straws deck type shoes/sandals squirt guns candles and bubble bath for the Jacuzzi (a little goes a long way), lots of sunscreen sexy, revealing clothes (for any time of the day)
Leave at home: inhibitions clothes that are not revealing cash
Have fun.