I was wrong.
A little background:
I’m a 28 year old, single male from New York, working in the Arts.
I generally take one vacation per year by myself to completely divorce
myself from life and just focus all my energies on relaxing.
On last year’s trip to Breezes G&B and this year’s to Hedo III,
I would have been content to spend 6 days lounging in a beach chair, reading
my book and sipping a fruity cocktail.
As it happens, both last year and this year, I ended up doing no such
thing.
As you’ll see from the end of this report, I was, in
fact, lucky enough to spend a week surrounded by terrific people.
Needless to say, I wish I could go on vacation with all of you folks
every year and I hope I can keep in touch with you down the road.
And this brings me to perhaps the most important piece of
advice I can offer to anyone
going to Hedo III, but especially to single males.
Relax, keep an open mind, and be yourself. Almost without exception, everyone – couples, single women,
and single men – at the resort were incredibly friendly, unpretentious
people who just wanted to enjoy a break from the daily grind.
Those that aren’t, stand out almost immediately and are rarely where
the fun is. Just be yourself
(assuming you’re not inherently an a**hole) and you will suddenly find that
you have made many meaningful friendships without even trying.
To single guys, I add this:
If you act like a “Vinny” you deserve to be treated like one.
If you go only to get laid, you’ll likely be disappointed.
That’s not what Hedo is about. Yes
there are single women at the resort and indeed you might get lucky with one
of them. But if that’s the
agenda for your entire trip, you’ve missed the point entirely.
You could go anywhere in the Caribbean (or elsewhere) to hit on
potential “scores”. Hedo is a
state of mind to be respected, experienced, and ultimately enjoyed.
OK, I’ll get off my soapbox now. My apologies for my preachiness.
But as a single guy who (at least in my opinion – and hopefully my
friends will back me up) had an extremely positive Hedo experience vis a vis
my fellow guests, and can’t wait to go back, I kinda feel a responsibility
to prepare other guys for what, if approached correctly, can be the vacation
of a lifetime.
Food: If you
want fine cuisine, 24 hours a day, you’ll be unhappy. That said, breakfast is fine – eggs, french toast,
pancakes, bacon, sausage, fruit, bagels, available each morning + the omelette
station. Lunch is less than
stellar but why go to lunch when you can stay by the nude pool and eat at the
grill? If you’re not ready for
the nude side, try the Scotch Bonnet with essentially the same menu (+ a few
other items). Dinner is a step
above lunch but no great shakes either. If
you want a nice, sit-down dinner, eat at Pastafari or Munahana – both are
truly first-rate.
Piano Bar: As
others can attest, this was a favorite of mine and where I was lucky enough to
meet many friends. Glenn, the
pianist, is no Liberace but he tries and the fun you’ll have has more to do
with who else is in the bar than Glenn’s piano-playing ability (which is
somewhat lacking). Wish
Superclubs would update and correct the songbooks but I guess that adds to the
silliness (especially when you’re drunk).
Activities: With
a resort that was maybe half-full, the staff had a hard time getting things
going. Plus, everything is on
Jamaica time so activities may or may not start when they’re supposed to.
Some of the activities, especially on the nude side, are geared towards
couples so may have trouble participating – but remember, that doesn’t
mean you can’t cheer on your friends. Basically,
don’t rely on the activities to make the fun, make your own fun…and if you
happen to get involved in one of the planned activities, you’ll most
certainly have fun too.
Staff: Stick
with Pee-Wee and you’ll have a blast. Shawn
is OK but a bit aggressive with the ladies and Romeo is fun but didn’t seem
him around much during the day. Just
remember: “No Whining.
Don’t be a tourist. It’s
all inclusive.”
Disco: Varied
night to night. First few days,
all reggae and pretty lame. As
the week went on, more American club music, dance, hip-hop, funk, club, etc.
Pajama night was fun but thinned out after the competition was over.
Amateur strip night was would have been lame without Sandra and Melissa
- Dave and Joe were very proud. All
in all, good place to hang out for a little while each night but never spent
more than 45 minutes or so.
Water Sports – Couldn’t really tell you.
Not my thing. Did go out for the snorkeling one day, but my mask kept
filling up with water so had to call it quits.
Still enjoyable though and only about an hour, so no real time list.
Bars – No complaints.
The drinks are tasty and generally quick in arriving.
Special thanks to Alric and Nola at the nude pool for being so
accommodating. Don’t be afraid
to try new things – but stay away from the rum punch unless you’re really
in the mood to be toasted. Personally,
I could drink hummingbirds from dawn to dusk – just enough alcohol to keep
things interesting without getting blitzed.
Housekeeping: Serviceable
– nothing more or less. They
make a little too much noise outside early in the morning so that even if they’re
not in your room, you may hear them. But for the most part, they do what they’re supposed to do.
House band: Just
had to mention them since they’re awesome.
They can play anything and nice guys, to boot! If Peter, the keyboard player, happens to stop by the piano
bar, you’re in for a treat.
And now for my new friends…my apologies
to anyone I’ve forgotten and my thanks to all of you who made my trip so
fabulous.
Stephanie from
Vancouver: So sorry you had to
leave the morning after I showed up. So
lucky that you happened to be at the nude pool bar minutes after I arrived.
Thanks for all your helpful info.
Angela, Virginia,
Dawn, Lisa, Lori, & Sandy: My
new buddies from North Carolina. I
can’t imagine what my trip would have been like without you guys.
Y’all are awesome.
Cheryl & Stacy
from Ohio: I so enjoyed being
called “New York” by both of you, I’m thinking of changing my name.
Sascha from
California by way of Vermont: You
can be ‘Sandy’ to my ‘Danny’ anytime!
Christine from
Canada: Thong or bikini, it was a
great bathing suit either way.
Jenna from
Massachusetts: You’re the
sweetest – hope the boyfriend made it through the night of your return.
Jessica from
Massachusetts: Don’t beat
yourself up. You sounded fine.
And from what I can tell, you’re right, you are going to succeed at
whatever you put your mind to.
Melanie, Rachel,
Melanie, Kristin, Courtney, & Rosie from New Jersey (& NY –
sorry, Rosie): Never did get to
give you my info but you can still drop me an e-mail if you decide you want to
see a show
Dave & Sandra:
Never could I have dreamed of a couple so awesome together yet so able
to have fun at Hedo. They should put you guys on the Hedo poster.
Please, please stay in touch.
Scooter &
Sonya
: I tried! Really
I tried! Ah well, seems like you
had a blast anyway
Heather & John:
The mechanic and the music teacher – you guys are a hoot and a half!
Let’s hear it for nude the Jamaican nude waterslide team!
Dusty & Bonnie:
If those bananas were any indication, it’s no wonder Dusty’s so
happy.
Chuck & Cheryl:
So sorry I only got to know you the day before you left.
Hope you’ll take me up on my ticket offer.
Larry &
Priscilla: Lost track of you
over the last few days but you guys give Tex-Mex a great name.
Jack & Linda:
So quiet every night in the hot tub – but based on my final 2
evenings, clearly you know how to have fun.
Greg & Beth:
Did you guys ever sleep? I
think you closed the pool bar every night.
Foxy & Steve:
Don’t think anyone will ever accuse you of not knowing how to party.
Bill & Karen:
If the rest of Bubbly Bares is as terrific as you two, I understand why
the group is so popular.
Shannon & (Her
Man):
Uncontested winners for best piercing + best body painter and best
Elvis impersonation
Solomon & Kate:
Solomon – the piano bar will ever be the same.
Happy Birthday! Kate, I
still have bite marks – youch!
Michael &
Shauna: Does peroxide ever
come out? If I ever get in
trouble “walking in Memphis,” I know who to call.
Joe & Melissa:
Will forever sing the “Boobies” song every time I play pool
volleyball
Allan & Joy:
a.k.a. Jimmy Buffett & Barbra Streisand – I know you two are
productivity experts but how productive can I be on a nude beach?
Scott & Stacie:
You must let me know where you shop for pajamas.
Jack & Melissa:
Good luck with the IPO – if you have a few extra shares lying around,
send’em my way.
Mickey & Lynn: Only got to know you during my last night – then again, seems like you guys had one helluva night.
Rick &
Courtney: If you ever sail
over to NY, don’t forget to say “hi!”.
Ming & Richard:
All I can tell you guys is “Check whose toes you’re sucking in the
hot tub before you start sucking”
Anthony & Ken:
Fuhgeddaboudit! (Kidding, kidding…)
Scott & Rich:
Did you show your folks the photos from the wet t-shirt contest?
Well done!
Art:
Wish you had come back to the piano bar for another Sinatra set.
Rick:
Possibly the mellowest, friendliest businessman ever to come out of the
Midwest.
John:
Carpentry in the nude. Yikes!
Sounds dangerous…
“Crazy” David:
Never really did get to know you, but hell, you win the “guts”
award – especially on toga & pajama night
Jay, Adam, Mike
& Scott – you guys definitely get an “A” for effort.
Hope you ended up getting more than that.
Gerard Dan, Craig
& Shane: If you guys are
any indication, M.P. O’Riley’s is one helluva bar.
Bag of Donuts:
You sure livened up the place – and not just with your playing.
By the way, where the hell is my CD!?!
So…can you tell I had a great time?
No question. Would I go back? In
a heartbeat.
Happy to answer any and all questions.
Feel free to drop me an e-mail at ziggybway@aol.com.
Respect,