H3 Trip Report
May 29 to June 5, 2000
Barry and Amanda, Curt and Terry
Overall, a fabulous vacation at a first class resort. We would do it
again in a heartbeat. This was our second trip to Jamaica (the first was
2 years ago at Grand Lido Negril). GLN was a bit of a let down, but H3
was everything we hoped for and more. In fact, H3 blows away GLN in
almost every regard. Here are some details, although you won't find much
different than has already been documented in other trip reports.
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TRAVEL:
Pretty typical stuff. We used Funjet (again) and everything went pretty
well (assuming you accept being treated like cattle). The 3 hour plane
rides between Houston and Jamaica on Sun Country's big DC-10 were
comfortable and uneventful, although the return flight was an hour and a
half late. The bus trips between Mobay and H3 were wild as expected.
Check-in was smooth and we managed to get room upgrades from pool view
to ocean view with little trouble and at no additional charge.
FACILITIES:
Hits: Beautiful property overall. As nice or nicer than any other beach
resort we've been to, including GLN. Everything still looks new and
clean. The rooms are well appointed and comfortable. The compact layout
of the resort makes room location a minor issue, although building 600
is closest to the action. Great pools and other common areas. The water
slide through the disco is a rocket ride and a must do (naked, of
course). The grounds are decorated with remarkably lush landscaping that
will only get prettier over time.
Misses: Don't expect powder white beaches as far as the eye can see. H3
beaches are man-made. However, tales of rocks and other barefoot nasties
are untrue. We brought water shoes and never used them on the beach.
Nude facilities are great, but likely to be too small as the resort
gains popularity. The nude hot tub was too hot all week, a continuing
problem based on other trip reports.
FOOD:
Hits: Plentiful and excellent quality. The Italian restaurant was our
favorite. The scallops and cheesecake are to die for. The Japanese
restaurant is fun. The Scotch Bonnet is an underused gem that sits right
on the water and serves great jerk-everything and burgers. We were
always able to fine something good on the main buffet, including great
breakfast fare. The nude pool grill serves good burgers and fries if
you're too lazy or wasted to get dressed and head to one of the other
areas.
Misses: None.
DRINK:
Hits: Just about everything you can imagine in quantity, including a
fair number of good call liquors. Very good mixed drinks (again, way
better than GLN). Cold beer and lots of ice was a unique experience for
us at a beach resort.
Misses: Coke lovers will be disappointed, H3 serves Pepsi. Coke can be
purchased in the gift shop if you can't live without it. Beer is limited
to Red Stripe, which we liked just fine. Miller Lite was also available
for purchase in the gift shop.
STAFF:
Hits: Everything good you've read in other trip reports is true. The
best we've seen anywhere. The entertainment bunch are a scream and work
their butts off. They are young, energetic, and some of the best
hardbodies you will see anywhere. Crazy Sean, Chris, Night Nurse, Lacy,
Lucky, Stretch and all the rest always managed to get something going.
The food staff provided some of the best service we've experienced in
any restaurant. The dive staff was professional and safety conscious.
Thunderous applause for the whole team.
Misses: Absolutely none. Don't change a thing!
GUESTS:
Most people that go to H3 seem to be very outgoing (go figure). We met a
number of fun people and socialized with "strangers" much more so than
on past vacations. This is a good thing and one of the major benefits of
the H3 experience. Couples between 30 and 50 seemed to be in the
majority, however there were a fair number of singles (surprisingly an
equal number of males/females). Singles seeking to jump in to a 24 hour
a day orgy will be disappointed, but it seemed the singles we met were
having a good time. Contrary to some other trip reports, there was
plenty of guest participation in the activities and theme nights. It
seemed like just about everyone in the resort participated in the toga
party. On Saturday/Sunday there was a higher number of locals at the
resort. We were told they come in on the weekend to gawk at the crazies,
but don't participate in any of the fun. They were no problem. The
resort never seemed crowded, but there were always enough people around
for a party. Often the best times were spontaneous outbreaks at no
particular time of day/night.
NUDITY:
Mostly confined to the nude area, but naked bodies were likely to appear
just about anywhere, including the disco and the main stage area during
certain shows/activities/theme nights. An example is the scavenger hunt
where one of the items is to find a "real" blond who's willing to
prove
it or a completely shaved crotch area. Other examples include the wet
t-shirt and best male body contests, where the contestants eventually
end up fully nude. You don't have to lose you clothes to enjoy H3, but
you will no doubt have much more fun if you take the risk. The whole
thing seems very normal at H3 and the nude area is where most of the fun
is. By the way, body piercing seems to be the in thing these days, and
we saw every body part you can imagine (and some you would never dream
of) pierced. It's all part of the H3 experience. Anyone offended by such
behavior should consider another resort (why would you even be at this
web site?).
SEX:
H3 is by no means a 24 hour a day orgy, but there's plenty of R-rated
action day and night. Some of the games organized by the entertainment
staff are pretty much on the edge, but there is supposed to be a no
penetration rule ;) . Examples would be group body shots on the nude
pool bar or gals trying to get guys excited with cold beer and no hands.
You don't have to participate, but you'll have a hell of lot more fun if
you do. X-rated action does happen, especially late at night. We
witnessed some hammock action at sunset that was full-on (and pretty
creative). Oral sex in the hot tub was common (guy sitting on the edge,
gal - well you know). We didn't make it past about 1-2am most nights, so
we probably missed some of the more racy activity. Of course, we were
off to our own races in the room, but that's another story. It seemed
that some folks were in to the swapping thing, but we never saw it
actually happen and no one approached us with a proposal (thankfully).
You can avoid most of this stuff if you want to (why would you want
to?), but you'd miss a lot of the fun. As mentioned earlier, if this
behavior offends you, don't go to H3.
GANJA:
Let's face it, ganja is widely available all over Jamaica and H3 is no
exception. Most of the use at H3 is confined to the rooms, but
occasionally someone fires up a spliff at the nude pool. Most folks
consider it part of the Jamaica experience. However, it is illegal in
Jamaica, and a little discretion is warranted as the local authorities
have been known to make an example of an unfortunate tourist from time
to time. A side note, the infamous bartender Lincoln was rumored to have
left H3 to teach bartending. The story we heard at the resort was that
he was fired for selling ganja to the guests.
SCUBA DIVING:
Everyone in our group dives, so we took advantage of the opportunity at
H3. We didn't expect much, as Jamaica is not known as one of the world's
premier dive locations. Needless to say, we were all pleasantly
surprised at the quality of the diving. H3 has a great dive operation
including a first class staff, good equipment, and the best (and
fastest) dive boat around. Within a few minutes of the resort, there are
a number of good dive sites including Flat Reef, Pear Tree Bottom
(wall), The Canyon (wall), and the Reggae Queen (wreck). Visibility was
very good and the water temp was about 80 degrees F. The reefs are in
pretty good shape, although animal life is sparse. We took along a dive
camera, so check out the pictures if you like. Daily dives go out at 9am
(deep, certified divers only) and 11am (shallow, certified and resort
divers). Night dives were available by special arrangement. Bring your
dive card, H3 runs a conservative and safe dive operation.
OTHER STUFF:
- Contrary to some trip reports, the water (ocean and pools) was not
cold. It was about 80-82 degrees F, which is cool and refreshing.
- We lost an entire day to rain and received a comp day for a future
trip no problem (we still had fun).
- The Hobie Cats are a blast, but way too fast and furious for amateur
captains. One of the staff members will gladly take you out and get it
up on its side for you.
- The wives had a blast horseback riding on the beach and in the surf
(not a H3 activity, extra $).
- The massage is a must (extra $).
- H3 arranged a wedding (renewal of vows) for us that was very nice and
no extra cost. Complete with a Jamaican minister, fresh flowers, Best
Man (Chris) and Maid of Honor (Lacy), wedding cake, champagne, and a
little something extra in our rooms when it was over.
- We've never been to H2, but based on several hot tub discussions most
H2 vets liked H3 better. The main reason seemed to be the overall
quality of the resort. We didn't hear anyone complaining that H3 wasn't
as wild as H2. (We witnessed plenty of action in the first 24 hours of
our stay at H3.)
- Take some disposable foam earplugs if you're a light sleeper and want
to go to bed before 5am. The disco is VERY loud and can be heard
throughout the property (thump thump thump).
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
- Thanks to the entire entertainment staff at H3. You guys are amazing.
- Thanks to Maureen for bringing our lunch to us at the gazebo after the
wedding. You are a real sweetheart.
- Thanks to Oneal for the special treatment at the Italian restaurant.
- Thanks to Mad Max and Mitchie at the dive shop. We plan to send
Mitchie a great picture of him holding a puffer fish during one of the
dives.
- Thanks to our hero Scott and his harem of 3 lovely ladies Alex,
Alicia, and Tara. Milk and cookies will never be the same. Special
thanks to Alex for the Icing Incident.
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We had a wonderful vacation and highly recommend H3 to open minded
adults looking for a first class beach resort and a ton of fun. If you
decide to go, make up your mind to participate to whatever extent you're
comfortable, and then push yourself a bit further. At least get naked.
You will have the time of your life.