Lori - April, 2013
I have to preface this trip report with a brief synopsis of the trip report I didn’t send to Denny last September. The reason I never sent that trip report was that I could find not one positive thing to say about our beloved Hedo. Our plan in August, 2012 was to spend 4 days at Hedo, 2 days at a boutique hotel in Negril, and then another 5 days back at Hedo. Always happy to be at Hedo, and well aware that nothing is 5-star, we felt pretty confident that our expectations were quite in line with reality. But we were wrong. The first four days included reduced staff, the worst food we’ve ever experienced, and two days of no booze. And I do mean NONE…no rum of any kind, no vodka, no gin, no scotch…just beer and a few random mixers. With occupancy at an all-time low, we thought the opposite might be true…an excess of services, not the elimination of them. Those four days really felt like the end of Hedo. We decided to salvage what was left of our Jamaican vacation and asked to be transferred over to Breezes for the end of our trip. It was clear the owners had stopped spending any money on Hedo. Not even enough to pay the booze distributor. Which I suppose makes sense for them, but we still paid several hundred dollars a night to be there. And we were getting virtually nothing for it, except a room and a view. So we bailed, vowing to never return unless there was a sale, and documented changes.
I bring all that up so readers understand how bad it was and how much we wanted our old Hedo back. And to explain how what may seem to be minor changes to some, were significant improvements to us. Because we believe we saw Hedo at its very worst just eight short months ago. And happily, things are looking up.
That being said…onward. The sale to the new owner group and the subsequent DennyP forum chatter of changes on resort (and a great nonstop airfare from Chicago) made us take the leap for our 9th trip in 5 years. We booked a week, arriving Friday, April 26. We were acutely aware of changes, and noticed several from the first step off the bus. We were greeted warmly and each offered a cold glass of rum punch (this hasn’t happened to us in at least three years). The most notable physical change in the lobby is that the hideous garage sale light fixture that used to hang from the center peak is gone. We’ve always wondered why it exists. We know that there was a similar fixture in the Hedo 3 lobby, as well as one over at Breezes. We asked two staff members about the missing light fixture and they both chuckled. One said ‘that was Mrs. Issa’s taste.’ Another noted that there was a round of cheers when it came down.
H-block was full, so we were booked in the block of rooms adjacent to the spa and gym, which turned out to have multiple advantages of proximity to dinner, spa, and gym, still being nude, and having a fairly clear view of Negril over the top of the oceanfront nude building. So we were happy. Room was standard. No changes here at all yet. Lorna confirmed for us later in the week that room renovations start in June. She also mentioned that it will take ‘a long time’ to complete all the renovations. But I don’t think anybody expected it to be fast. We are just glad they are happening.
We made our way down to the nude pool after unpacking quickly. The grounds felt exceptionally groomed. All the palms were free of dead fronds, the grass was recently clipped, the hedges all trimmed. It felt very much like someone was paying attention to general maintenance. We were stunned when we got a clear view of the nude pool. It was about 4:30pm, the music was blaring, the pool was chock full of naked people, and everyone looked to be having a great time. While we know that’s what is supposed to happen on a Hedo afternoon, our last trip was just the opposite and part of us thought we wouldn’t see it like this again. Every afternoon of our week proved to be exactly the same. While not quite as full (96% occupancy) after that first day, every day was a party. For two days, light rain sprinkles during the fun barely diminished the party atmosphere at all. If you could capture the energy of that pool at 4:00 on any given day, you could change the world.
Everybody is happy, singing, dancing, smacking beach balls around the pool, and smiling without a care in the world or any preconceived notions about the naked people with them. Nudity is a great equalizer and the nude pool showcased Hedo magic day after day.
I’m not going to go chronologically, because neither of us has that kind of time. Instead:
Security: Made it a point to tell us to unclothe when I picked up towels.
There was an extra security guard standing at the end of the hook so I immediately felt that I wouldn't have to look out for creepers from Point Village or solicitors in the water. Throughout the week, Security routinely kept the on-foot solicitors from slowing down too long on the beach, and chased off those who thought the term ‘NUDE POOL’ didn’t apply to them.
During one extremely entertaining exchange, beach security was backed up by Serena to tell a couple to get naked or get lost. They argued for a while, (pretty gutsy to argue with Serena…she’s tough as nails!) and they eventually left, never to be seen again. Another instance of Security at work was when someone brought an iPad to the hot tub late at night. He was trying to explain why he had it, but Security said he could either place it on the chair next to her for safe keeping, or he could move on. There were no other options.
Drinks: Delroy’s bar was fully staffed with at least three bartenders and sometimes two additional staff who had ‘trainee’ on their nametag. Nobody waited more than a couple of minutes for a drink and there was no shortage of any type of booze. When I asked for rum, I got Appleton, when I asked for Absolute, I got Absolute. They poured heavy; no skimping on the liquor this time. The nude beach soda machine was mostly operational. The new ice machine isn’t there yet, so it ran out of ice most days, but twice I saw bar staff replenishing it with buckets of ice.
Beach: My excitement over the first thing I noticed in the swim area can't be understated. Since I like to hang out on the floats, hook my foot over the rope so I don't drift in, and talk with people while soaking up the sun, I was over the moon about a new buoy rope. The old rope had gotten so nasty the last few years…dripping with slimy seaweed and alive with tiny crabs and god knows what else, the Styrofoam buoys eaten away to nothing…that hooking to it meant you risked getting creepy crawlies on you. The new rope is pulled tight so the only parts touching the water are the buoys themselves and the rope is high and dry. And it’s the same on the prude side. I made the entire beach look so much more…cared for.
The beach chairs and floats are the same. Most of the floats have succumbed to the elements and there are quite a few inflatables left behind from guests. Augustus was on duty most of the week, cleaning and raking diligently, keeping his beach clean. The water was fairly clean, although the dead grass is a nuisance that I know they could get rid of before waiting for it to float ashore and be buried in the sand. Apparently on Mondays at the nude beach (weather permitting), there’s a bonfire now. Some of the staff was setting it up on Monday, but it was exceptionally windy, so they covered the wood and burned it Tuesday night instead. We missed it, but it seems like a nice treat.
One other note on the beach, one guest stepped on or inadvertently kicked a small stingray one afternoon and got a nasty and painful gash on her foot. Security drove her to the Nurse’s Station for a little impromptu care where they opened the wound to clear the poison. The ray was tiny, so couldn’t do much damage, but be careful and shuffle when you step. We’ve seen plenty of bigger ones during the day and at night. There’s a lot more wildlife in that swim area than you think.
Food: The head chef was out and about at most meals, checking things out. I talked to him twice and he said his goal was to bring the food up to 5-star. He offered to listen to any suggestions and asked opinions of guests when he had the chance. Cold food was cold, and hot was hot. We saw staff regularly checking the temperature of food and recording it on a clipboard.
Friday night gala dinner was...I'm just going to say it...pretty spectacular. Lobster is out of season, so there were big pans of sautéed shrimp as a substitute. There was a nice balance of starches to proteins, a sushi station set up adjacent to the entree line near the entrance to Martino's, another table set up and piled with cheeses. Both sides of the salad bar had different selections and all was plentiful and very fresh.
There was roast turkey at the carving station, and the pasta bar was as popular as ever. At all meals, when plates of fruit or salads or anything were almost emptied, they were replaced with heaping fresh plates. We had fresh melon and pineapple every day. We never saw fresh bananas on the buffet, but I saw bananas at the bars regularly.
The presentation of everything was so much better than we’re used to. The buffet tables have been cleared of all the old, greasy carvings, and the weird butter-like ‘scultpures under glass.’ All have been replaced with some simple glass vases with colorful beads and florals. Apparently the buffet lines have always been topped with granite, but I never noticed with all the ugliness on top. One welcome change in the main dining room is that all of the ceiling fans have finally been replaced. We’ve spent time in that dining room for dinner where it is so hot that you can barely stand to stay at your table long enough to eat. Now, with all the fans on, the air is moving constantly and I don’t remember even breaking a sweat during any meal.
Nude grill: New guy (Mark) at the nude grill during the day was serving up the standard jerk chicken, burgers, grilled cheese, fries, and most days some grilled fish. Also, there were salads again for lunch. At night, Dwayne was serving pizzas in the new oven. (sorry I didn’t get a picture…security was damn serious about cameras…see above). It’s basically a Boboli crust with your choice of toppings including some chopped jerk chicken. The pizza is the same size of one of the standard nude grill plates. It was tasty at 2am…probably needed three more minutes in the oven, but the poor guy is just trying to keep up with the demand. There was LOTS of demand.
The wine bar: I have nothing against the purchase of a nice bottle of wine with dinner, if one chooses, but the selections are going to have to improve. One of the options is the Ménage À Trois label for $30/bottle.
Since that’s a wine that regularly makes my home wine collection, I know it retails for less than my $10 limit… I have a problem overpaying to that extent for cheap headache wine. I saw one woman purchase a bottle of wine all week. The rest of the time, the booth sat empty.
Entertainment: Winston was in the house and we love his energy and humor. He has a way of getting everyone involved. Hennesey and Diana (Diane?) were also at almost all the daytime events. They would be wise to put Winston back on emcee duties at night. The shows at night were typically Hedo.
Winston as Whitney (looking fabulous), lots of dancing, all in-house entertainment, nothing out of the ordinary. The Black Tape project, where a guy takes bondage tape to Playboy models was…weird. Different at least, but weird. So the shows were nothing to write home about. One thing we noticed about ECs is that they were dressed in theme clothing all day long. As usual, most guests didn’t participate in the theme nights. The nude pool games and trivia were typically naughty and really funny.
Lunch music in the main dining room was turned down to a reasonable level and the dinner band was good. A different group than before, but nice background music (please applaud for them…they deserve at least that). At the nude pool every day was a guy named Mark (Mark Mays, I think). I’m unclear whether he came with a group or if the resort hired him. But he had an amazing Bose tower speaker setup and a laptop. He took requests non-stop in the afternoons and filled in with some really fun songs that got everyone smiling and singing and having fun. It was happy music and it was the cornerstone of the nude beach afternoons. The one day he packed up because of rain, things were a lot more subdued. He was very much appreciated by everyone.
Spa: Normally, we aren’t spa people, but we decided to treat ourselves to a couples massage/scrub on our last day. I’m always surprised by how nice the spa is. It’s very basic, but it’s really pretty, if not somewhat in need of maintenance. And it has, without a doubt, the nicest bathrooms on property.
The massage/scrub was fantastic. We were both like mush when we were done.
Watersports: We love to snorkel and went out on the boat once. I took a mask and snorkel of my own, so spent lots of time out in the swim beaches taking pictures and observing the wildlife. Again, if you think there’s nothing ominous under the surface of the nude swim area, just put on a snorkel and mask and swim around for a little while. You’ll be much more careful where you step in the future. In addition to snorkeling, we also took out a couple of kayaks one morning…great exercise and a hell of a lot easier than a Hobie cat. We also met some lovely dive people who, with sponsorship from the resort, make regular trips down to teach the locals how to safely hunt the dreaded Lionfish. One day they had speared one that was 16” long. Lionfish are terribly invasive and eat indiscriminately. And currently their only Caribbean predator is the human with a spear. It’s nice to see the resort staying active in an effort like this.
Tipping: I have to say to everyone…STOP TIPPING. I saw more not-so-discreet tipping on this trip than I ever have. It bothers me that 1), staff can get fired if you press a bill into their hand and they get caught and 2) all the supporting people behind the scenes are just as deserving but not in a position to be tipped. That’s why the no-tipping policy is made very clear.
As a matter of fact, I asked at the spa, not knowing if the protocol there was different since it as an extra service we paid for, and was told that under no circumstances could we tip, but thank you for asking.
Randomly: There’s a new Moon Hill sign. I miss the old one. And the new one is mostly propaganda for the Kittens and Angels group. That makes it sort of annoying. We still witnessed or participated in a few Moon Hill sendoffs.
The boutique has undergone some deep cleaning and rearranging. Tyson is still in the gym, but notably present in the nude pool for aerobics one morning. We’ve seen guests teaching aerobics, but never the resident gym rat. We like to think perhaps doing something other than staring at himself in the gym mirror while wearing his sunglasses (really??) is now a condition of his employment. The gym itself was as it always is. Most of the equipment was completely operational. We never went to the disco or Piano Bar at night. There was a pool deck party with music one night at the main pool.
From the proximity of our room, we could hear it. And one day, a band set up at the nude pool. I’m not sure how we missed whatever they did, but we saw them set up and take down, just never saw them play. It seemed like there was so much to do; so different than the past few years.
Resort Maintenance: We saw exterior work all over including re-painting of the decks and walkways every day on the nude side. Some drain work at the main pool (exquisitely timed during a nude takeover party…there’s some good planning). Two guys with a torch and a bucket of goo/tar were spotted doing roofing maintenance all week long. The relaxation room at the spa was under construction and the front door of the spa was off the hinges and being scraped by workmen one day. There were wet paint signs in lots of places around the property. One morning a backhoe came from the back of the prude side and pulled a stump from a dead tree out of the sand and hauled it away.
So in general, it was a busy place, maintenance-wise.
Plans for the future: My information comes from pretty trusted staff or some of the group hosts who had met with the owners during their stay. The big change that everyone was talking about was the prude beach pool/swim up bar/disco renovation. It was said that it will take a couple of years to complete, and nobody had any real details, but everyone who mentioned it was genuinely excited. Also, the courtyard area outside the piano bar is slated for some sort of upgrade. Again, no details on exactly what it will be, but it was promised to be a big change from the nothing area that it is now. As mentioned above, Lorna said room renovations start in June. We did see some new beds (still in plastic) being delivered to rooms every day, and were told that new linens, curtains, TVs, and paint/tile will be part of the room renovations. The piano bar will be renovated as well. The new dive boat is still anchored in the bay, covered with a blue tarp, awaiting paperwork.
Staff: Last but certainly not least, we saw many familiar faces and all of them were smiling. We watched housekeeping come in every morning and it was all smiles and laughter as they went about their day. Delroy had some dance moves behind the bar and never stopped smiling. The watersports guys were friendly and helpful (they took off one day in the rescue boat to help a tipped Hobie cat that I think was from Sandals and not Hedo). We also saw them out on kayaks helping guests learn to sailboard or paddleboard. Lorna made regular rounds everywhere on resort, asking how our stay was, and for suggestions, and promising that our next trip would be even better. The list of staff who made our stay special took a great deal of space on our comment card when we checked out.
Overall, this was probably one of our best trips. We felt welcomed, we felt that our dollars were well spent on fun, activities, food and drink, and we met some wonderful Hedo people. Till next time, Hedo.