Jeff - March, 2013
Hedo Amigos ~ March 15-24,
2013
This was our 16th trip to
Jamaica, 14th to a Hedo, 5th to Hedo II, 7th as Hedo Amigos...and it was
Fucking Awesome!
Been home two full weeks
now and I guess this is the sweet spot to write a trip report, long
enough that the fog has lifted from a week of partying my ass off but
not too far into the future that I am forgetting things...well at least
the things that I can remember. It has been tough being home, not sure
I have ever had a case of DIF this bad. We were not planning another
trip back to JA/Hedo in 2013 and that changed (in my mind) the day
before we left. As soon as we got home we rearranged our schedules,
canceled some things, got the grandparents to agree to watch the kids
and by Wednesday had plans to return 10/8 to 10/14!! The thought of
350+ days till our return just was not sitting very well with me! It
really was a great trip, even though I managed to get sick for a couple
of days and the weather was not as nice as it usually is in
March...damn, if it didn’t suck!!!
Getting There:
We had a 5:30 am flight
from RDU that went thru CLT to MBJ. Having such an early flight is
great because it gets you on The Rock before 10:00 am...the bad part is
you are up at 3:00 in the morning and trying to get some sleep the night
before is about impossible as neekid people are dancing around in your
head!! Pretty sure it is the only time of year I feel like a kid on
Christmas Eve. I suffer from “first day happies” anyway, so the combo
of hardly any sleep, bus ride Stubbies, too giddy to eat, and a
bottomless 24 oz.Tervis Tumbler had me knocked out before 7:00 pm and
missing the Friday Lobsterfest and the Amigos White Trash Bash Theme
Night. Anyway our flights were awesome and getting through immigration
and customs was cake. I shit you not, our luggage was the first ones
off the carousel...living the good life. Our transportation, Rocky
Tours, was waiting there for us as we walked out the terminal doors into
a hot, muggy, overcast...and beautiful Jamaica. Rocky’s Tours is a top
notch outfit and since Hedo is no longer providing transportation I
would recommend Rocky to anyone. We had to wait a bit for others in our
group to land, but we did in style with a cooler of 1 1/2 cases of
semi-iced down Red Stripe’s that I had arranged for Rocky to bring us.
Everyone’s flights arrived on time and soon the 12 of us were heading
down the road to Negril and Hedo. Not sure on how long it took us to
get there, I was having too much fun on the bus to notice! Here is
Rocky’s info, great guy and will take care of all your transportation
needs while in Jamaica. http://www.rockystaxiandtourservice.com/
The New Hedo:
So just before our trip
all sorts of things were happening at Hedo and it had me a little
worried about what we might find. First the news came that the new
owners had taken the “keys” of the place into their possession. Next
came word of the mass firings (which was actually not that many people
and they were just not re-hired) and finally we heard that Fifty (who I
have known since he started at Hedo III) was leaving to be with his
family and pursue other opportunities. Got to tell you I was a little
worried of what to expect once we got on property. Those concerns, did
not last very long as everything was bitchin in Hedo Land!
We had a nice reception of
early Amigos waiting for us in the lobby, the perma-grin was beaming as
we were greeted by old...and new friends! Rusheen Harris, who was our
Sales Coordinator contact for the Amigos greeted us as we got off the
bus. She is now the Front Desk Manager and personally checked us in,
which was a breeze...we had our room (2232 ~ H Block) within minutes.
Cecil had our bags loaded up and we were off to our room after
stopping by the main bar for my first of many daily breakfast Dirty
Bananas. We have never stayed in H-Block before and we loved the
location. Perfectly situated between the nude pool and the main dining
room. I loved that I could walk from our room on the second story all
the way to the nude pool under cover...which came in handy a couple of
days as we had more rain this week than in the previous six March trips
combined. Anyway, Cecil led us into our room and the first thing I
noticed was how clean it was and how good it smelled. Now, I have never
had a “dirty” room at Hedo...but this trip our room was uber hospital
clean!! Throughout the week we saw lots of cleaning and scrubbing going
on all over the resort...maybe I was looking for it this trip but it
seemed that I saw things being cleaned that I had never witnessed
before. It was obvious early on that the new management was making some
changes for the better!
The staff seemed extra
happy this trip, not that they were ever grumpy, but my guess is from
what had happened the week before, the ones that remained employed were
pretty happy about still having a job. Even Scumba and Delroy seemed in
better spirits than I had witnessed on previous trips. There are a
number of new bartenders working all over the resort. Most of them were
wearing White Shirts, not sure if that is a probationary thing or they
just did not have uniforms for them yet but it was noticeable who the
noobies were. They all seem to be hustling and doing a great job and
going the extra mile to make the guests happy. Speaking of bars they
were well stocked this trip compared to last October. Stoli, Absolut,
Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Jose Cuervo, Crown Royal and even Jagermeister
were in good supply all week long just to name a few. They did run out
of VX for a couple of days, but that was the only thing that I noticed
that was in short supply. Our first few days the resort was at 100%
occupancy and I never noticed a lack in service, in fact the service
seemed better than ever. (Especially down at the nude pool grill where
getting your food was quicker than I ever remembered.) Wait times at
the nude and main bars depended on how busy they were...they did seem to
adjust the number of bartenders needed with the crowd size. At one time
during our Blow Out Party they had 5 bartenders (Serena included) making
drinks! The only negatives I can mention during my stay was that first
weekend bath towels were pretty hard to come by...and we did have a
couple of days without hot water.
I need to thank Delano
Miller who is the Sales Coordinator and Nichel “Nick” Lindsay who is the
Entertainment Coordinator...they both went out of their way to make sure
that all our special events went off without a hitch...which they did.
Also a shout out to Winston and Serena who were great all week long,
partied with us and made things so much fun. Serena has done a great
job since coming to Hedo II...I have known her since 2001 when she
started as a bartender at Hedo III and she is the best! I know Winston
was missing Fifty...but he was absolutely great all week long and I love
that kid. The only other EC that I recognized was Hennesy...but her
hair is totally different and it took me a couple of days to realize who
she was. The EC’s seem much more engaged, they are down at the nude
pool every day at 11:00 am and actually did the things that were on the
schedule...reminded me of the times we spent at Hedo III.
I briefly talked with
Kevin Levee and I got to meet Jon Gross who is one of the new owners.
After talking with them I cannot wait to see some of the changes that
they have planned. I am not going to repeat what I was told, but if
they do what they want to do there are some exciting changes coming to
the resort. I can tell you that we did see three rooms that were being
completely gutted...and that they were doing so for different designers
to come in and evaluate the space. Good things are coming...Hedo did
not deteriorate overnight and they are not going to fix it overnight
either. After hearing their plans...it is going to be good and we have
a lot to look forward too!
The Food:
I love the food at
Hedo...always have. One thing that tweaks me is to hear someone
bitching about it as I cannot understand someone NOT finding something
to eat that makes them happy. Anyways maybe I am pretty simple but I was
happy again with what I was eating all week...which basically consisted
of a huge BLT sandwich with a side of sausage, grits and corn beef hash
for breakfast each morning and nude grill food (Jerk Chicken, Cheese
Burgers, Grilled Cheese/Ham and Fries) for lunch each day. I did
venture to the Main Dining Room twice for lunch and one day had a pasta
bowl and the other had some homemade tortilla chips and guacamole and
other mexican fare...both lunches were very good. I only ate dinner 4
times at the resort during the week and each time was excellent.
Martinos (2X) and Munasan (1X) were both phenomenal...best ever!!! I
did make my last Friday night lobsterfest and it was good but I was a
little disappointed there was no Mac & Cheese to go with my tails! I
ate off property three times during the week. Once for breakfast at
Cafe Goa...awesome omelets and Bloody Mary’s!! Also ate dinner one
night at 3 Dives and one night at a place called Sunset After Dark.
Both excellent meals...I love Hedo but I also love to get off property
and see/taste/smell/drink in the “Real” Negril.
The Hedo Amigos:
What I can say about the
Amigos without sounding like a braggart. Absolutely some of the best
people in the world. Not sure how you assemble 160+ people that are all
cool as fuck...but we do year after year! I am sure everyone feels that
way about the people they meet and hang out with at Hedo, and we
probably are all correct as generally the people that go to Hedo are
awesome to start with. I am no different and I think that the Amigos,
some whom I have known for over seven years now, are the best in the
world. As one of the organizers for the Amigos I get quite a few “Thank
You’s” during the week. My response has always been “No, thank you!” I
have always said that if the Amigos consisted of 160 assholes we would
be no fun at all...and we are polar opposites from that. We had a
number of special events during the week and a couple of our own theme
nights where we had tons of participation. We were lucky enough to work
with our preferred travel agent and the resort to be able to give away
4, one night comps for best costume for the nights of White Trash Bash,
ABC (Anything But Clothes), St. Patty’s Day and RGB (Rave/Glow/Blinky).
The costumes were so amazing and every night it was so hard to pick a
winner. Case in point on ABC night, how do you make a decision between
a bikini made of Wine Corks and one made of Bacon...real Bacon?? (Wine
corks won out narrowly) Our Welcome Party (which was open to everyone at
the resort) on Sunday Night in the Disco was packed....not sure when was
the last time the Disco at H2 has had that many people in it for that
long. Since it was St. Patty’s day we brought in some cases of local
brewed Guinness and attempted some Irish Car Bombs...which do not work
at all if you do not have shot glass to drop into the beer. (We will get
that right in 2014!) We ended the night with a Pole Dancing
competition....not even sure who it was that won as she was not with the
Amigos but I hope she is enjoying the WeVibe3...and damn did she earn
it!! Some other events throughout the week were our Blackout Bingo
game, which is a great way for the returners to meet the noobies and
vice-versa, Dirty Amigo (Erotic Gift Exchange) and the Beer Pong
Tournament where the winners (two years in a row) won 3 Free Nights!!
Wednesday’s Rave under the Stars (put on by our TA) was my favorite
night of the week, At that time I probably had a 102* temperature but
was not going to miss it for the world. I loaded myself up on Red Wine,
Rum and some Jenny’s Brownies and was good to go. You know you are
throwing a party when Sandals calls and tells you to turn the music
down...which we finally did around 3:00 am. DJ sandman had the place
jumping...there was even people sneaking over from Sandals to see what
the hell was going on, no wonder they complained, they were losing all
their customers!
The piece de resistance is
our Friday Blowout Party. I cannot explain it to you...best analogy is
to go watch Project X and LMFAO’s Shots video at the Playboy
Mansion...combine the two, throw in a little more awesomeness, turn it
up to 11...and that is what an Amigo Blowout party is like. This is the
best pool party at Hedo hands down...too many unsolicited comments from
staff and guests to make me feel otherwise. Just as the tourism board
says about Jamaica....”Once you go....you’ll know!” What I love about
it is not only are we having a ridiculous time, but the staff has a
blast too, which is apparent from the smiles on their faces and the
number of them in the pool with us. We had a Wet TShirt contest pool
side that included 12 lovely ladies and our very own sexy French
Canadian came home with the comp night! Thanks to all the Amigos, other
guests, Winston, EC’s, Bartenders, Serena and all the pool toys and
other party shit that everyone brought with them to make it such an
awesome day!!! As always I apologize to the watersports guys for the
condition we leave the pool in....which is definitely “Rode hard and put
away wet!” We did curtail the amount of Rum Creme spilled into the pool
this year as we switched to Alcohol Infused Whipped Cream....that shit
is awesome and stays in place better!!
One Love Bus Pub Crawl:
I know this is a Hedo trip
report but I have to mention the One Love Bus Pub Crawl. The Amigos did
two of these, one on Tuesday and one on Thursday. Each day we filled
the 19 seat bus with over 40 people and had a great afternoon on the
West End of Negril. We walked to Boardwalk Village (place right next to
Sandals) as our first stop and was then picked up by Lenbert, who
operates the Love Bus. The Love Bus cost nothing...you just buy what
you want at each stop and tip Lenbert when you are done. On Thursday we
hit 7 bars over a 3 hour span which included Sunset After Dark, On the
Rocks, Jenny’s, No Limit Bar, Xtabi, Push Cart and finally landed at Sir
D’s (aka Firewater Love Nest) for the most amazing sunset. Lenbert then
dropped off who wanted to have dinner back at Sunset After Dark and took
the rest back to Hedo. This trip is a great way to see the West End and
Negril...not the tourist traps of Margaritaville and Rick’s, but some
really cool places run by local Jamaicans. I know sand gravity can be a
motherfucker...but Negril is so cool you owe it to yourself to get off
property at least once while there...and this trip is the way to do it.
If you are interested in taking the One Love Bus Pub Crawl, Lenbert
runs them every Wednesday and Friday, but if you have 10 or more people
he will do them any day of the week. He also will pick you up directly
at Hedo, we just added the Boardwalk village as an extra stop. Here is
his email if you are interested. bananaznegril@hotmail.com
Getting Home:
We left Hedo on Saturday
but didn’t leave the island until Sunday morning. I love doing it this
way as you never feel rushed...although no matter how you do it, it is
hard to go home. Doing it this way we are able to get up, eat breakfast
and then hit Moon Hill for the 9:00, 10:00 and 11:00 o’clock buses and
say our goodbye’s to so many friends. Back to the room to pack, get the
bags picked up, checkout by noon. We then have 5 hours to chill out a
final time in the nude pool and reflect on the week...give my Tervis and
liver one final workout and eat my last plate of Jerk Chicken. With
remnants of the Blowout Party all around the pool, it is a nice quiet
day...love it! Around 4:00 I headed down to the ocean and just planted
my butt in the Negril sand for the last time....toes in the water, ass
in the sand...last chance to rock out with my cock out. That is when,
as I was looking across long bay at Negril’s 7 Mile Beach and the cliffs
of the West End, I decided it was not going to be 51 weeks till I
returned. Rocky was right on time at 5:00 pm and we took the ride back
to Montego Bay for a night at The Wexford Hotel located on the Hip
Strip. Dinner at Margaritaville with our good friends and co-hosts and
an early night as I was wore the fuck out...still a little sick and
going through Rum/Vodka/Red Stripe withdrawals. We had a 9:00 am flight
and were driven to MBJ by the included shuttle that The Wexford provides
at 7:00 am. Nice thing about early flight is no lines anywhere at the
airport. We were through ticketing/immigration/security and in the
Terminal to shop by 7:27....22 minutes from hotel to shopping. Flights
home were rough turbulence wise, but on time and mostly uneventful. I
was greeted in Raleigh (wearing shorts and flip-flops) to rainy, 38*
weather. Reality does suck!!!
Final Thoughts:
So that is my story and I
am sticking to it...it was an incredible week and I cannot believe how
fast it flew by. These trips I think about all year and the
anticipation is brutal leading up to them, and in a blink of an eye they
are done...but oh the memories they create. Hope you enjoyed just a
fraction of what I was able to put down in print. Want to thank my
smoking hot wife for putting up with my shit all year and my close to
obsessive planning and mental behavior when it comes to Jamaica, Negril,
Hedo and the Amigos. I have it bad....and probably always will. To my
buddy CrazyRed and his wife for being the co-hosts for the Amigo’s as I
could not do it without them. Also to all the Amigos that put in time
and donations to make the week what it is...you guys make the trip! To
the many noobies we had this year...I told you it wouldn’t suck!! You
are now part of an ever growing family and I hope you can make many
trips in the future. To everyone at the resort whose energy, laughs and
Hedo Spirit made the week what it was, which was amazing. Finally to
you Amigos who could not make it this year for a number of reasons, here
is to having everything fall your way in 2014 and you once again joining
us in paradise...your presence was missed!
Till next time....catch
you at Delroy’s and we can get stupid together all over again!
Face Down and Bottoms Up!