TamNRudy 5/11/06 5/20/06
Remember watching Monty Pythons Holy Grail. The group of knights decides not to go to Camelot because it is a silly placewe are pretty sure Camelot is in Negril!
Arrival: We booked airfare on Spirit Airlines and drove to Ft Lauderdale the day before (5/10/06). Only a 3-hour drive down I-95; it saved us money & we flew non-stop to MoBay on a 1 hour & 20 minute flight. Smooth sailing, plus we met some Dennys BB penpals, Kevin & Kristy, at the airport and spent the flight yakking with them. Took only about 30 minutes to get through customs, gather our bags, & get to the Superclubs Lounge. Another 20 minutes was spent organizing we Hedo2-ers & Grand Lido-ans. Off we went and by popular vote, took no beer/potty breaks. Got to Hedo2 around 3PM. Very smooth all the way.
Room Check-in: We got the same room we had last year! OVN 2220! Its in the middle, near the H-Block Bridge, and very quiet at night. AC was leaking. We reported it to the front desk; they wanted to move us, but we asked if they could just fix it (a drain tube had come undone). No problem, mon!
Rudy was so anxious to get nekkid & get a libation, he refused to unpack. This has never happened in the history of the Earth! He just said, Woman, Im goin NOW! With or without cha. Ya got 30 seconds. Forget the sunscreen, Im goin commando! Well, Tams freckly skin rebelled at that and she did manage to throw lotion into the beachbag, grab her mug, hat & sunglasses as Rudy ran out the door in a sarong.
Thirty seconds after that, we were praising Paulettes Rumrunners & Hummingbirds, gnashing our teeth at the slowness of blenders!
The rest of our comrades arrived over the next two days. Once assembled, we proceeded to regress to a state of childlike giddiness! A few highlightsTruth or Dare (including playing dress-up & movie directing), our Boston muscleman (Hi Big Poppi, you & V had better email us!), theme nights (Steve & Sophia and Dan & Sarah yours were always the best!), giving our best Princess Diana waves to the Sandals boats even as they stealthily (NOT) took pictures of us, lunchtime spin which became a music trivia run-off between Rudy & Jose from Toronto (Jose & Louise were on their honeymoon and just cute as pie!), Roberts French fries (Note from Tam: Yes, I know the rest of you like the jerk chicken - which is outstanding - but for me it is the French fries), addicting all who fell within our circle on influence to the wonders of the Hummingbird a drink unsurpassed.
Saving the best for last, we have to say that ball & butt painting was the coup de grace of laugh riots. We made pals with Amy & Patrick. Patrick was working for the resort by making guests necklaces that contained a piece of rice on which he would write! Yes, WRITE! Dont your eyes hurt just thinking about it? Patrick also did body painting in the evenings next to the dining room / prude pool area. He specialized in womens breasts and did some absolutely beautiful pieces of art!
Well, Sparky, a member of our group whose nickname could not fit her any better, decided that men should not be left out. She, Sarah, & Kristi began a side business of painting mens balls & butts. (The first night, Tam laughed so hard for so long that she actually had pain in her sides the next day. By the end of the trip, shed developed abs from laughing!) While Sparky & Sarah painted, Kristi would recruit the next customer (victim?) sometimes sealing the deal as she made them do shots of courage at the dining room bar! Over the next several nights, we watched their style improve so much that even Patrick was impressed and was painted. Best / funniest designs included an elephant, a banana, a lobster, a martini (Shaken, not Stirred; right Andrew?) and the Smiley Have A Nice Day and Rolling Stones lips thing sported by the boys from Oregon. SuperSurprise, guys! Toms birthday cake was also especially yummy; did everyone get a bite?
There were times when we counted 40 + people watching and laughing at the show. Thanks to Dr. Dan for being in charge of table / chair setup and cleanup! Of course, the ladies are planning to go into business next year and are brainstorming designs, gathering a digital portfolio of their artwork, and stocking up on paints, sparkles, and other supplies. Thanks to Patrick for supplying them with these items; very smart of you to give them the Crayola brand paints after the first night. You and Amy are wonderful! We hope that Hedo2 will employ you next year (Hello Superclubs, HINT, HINT! This means you!)
Other trip notes:
To us, the food in the dining room was just fine. Tam loved the sushi, salads, and the coconut & powdered-sugar pastries and bacon at breakfast. Rudy enjoyed the French toast at breakfast, but mainly subsisted on Roberts jerk chicken. Midnight snack could have been more varied, but was enough to satisfy late-night munchies. The restaurants were all yummy too. The Scotch Bonnet / Jamaican restaurant had a spicy jerk shrimp dish that was great! Munason and Pastafaris were fun and the food was delicious. The wine weve read so many people complain about was not bad at all the white was sort of like a Pinot Grigio and went well with many dishes.
Hot water was never a problem, even after Rudy took a five-hour shower sleeping off rum cream shots. Tam can verify this; she timed and monitored it as she checked on him every five minutes to make sure he didnt drown. Tom, never be late to Hedo again, please!
The piano bar was fun when a bunch of folks were in there; Tam & Laura had fun entertaining from the piano top. The martini cart moved from venue to venue, but consistently made some nice cocktails. Natasha was especially intrigued by the Oral Fixation. The disco was not very jumping when we checked it out a few times. Our timing may have been off. Mostly it was filled with men watching sports. The hot tub saw a lot of action with numerous PDAs & PDPs. Not a problem except for the smarmy creature who tried to cop a feel from Tam as she was otherwise engagedyou are lucky you didnt end up singing soprano through a pug nose, you little prick, because she was about to belt you!
On a more positive turn, we observed a wide diversity in the guests. A myriad of races, ethnicities, cultures, nationalities, classes, religions, ages, languages, abilities, body types, and college or pro sports team affiliations were represented. And it was harmonious! Perhaps being at Hedo2 engenders its own citizenship, that of acceptance and fun. What the world could learn from us.
Another note about theme nights; it seemed that other than toga or PJ night, there were not too many participants outside of our group. Come on, folks! Participation! Get into it, even if it only means throwing on a few beads for Mardi Gras. When and where else are you ever going to get the chance to act like a goofy teenager without a curfew and be an adult at the same time? We know that isnt everyones bag, but it sure made the trip so much more fun and memorable. How many of you menfolk will not laugh when thinking back to getting your butts painted!?
Nature Note: BEWARE THE NINJA CRABS! Lady Sarah apparently made enemies with the crustacean population when she traumatized a small beach crab by screaming at it in the bathroom near the Scotch Bonnet restaurant. Yes, it probably should not have been sharing the stall with her, but it was most likely lost. Of course, it tattled on her and the next morning the tribe had sent a ninja crab! Thanks to Foxy & Dan for saving Sarah from the creature as it lurked and waited silently ABOVE their room door to enact some sort of terror from the sky revenge!
Leaving Hedo2: Heartbreaking. And confusing. There were so many of us leaving at 10AM on the 20th that we needed to have several buses. It was nice of Sparky to entertain us with her impromptu strip-tease to the music of the reggae band on the front steps. It was probably a lot more eye-opening to the Grand Lido couple already on the bus than to us who were accustomed to her joie de vivre. Amy & Patrick came up to the lobby to say so long, lamenting that all the fun people were bugging out. They led the full-moon goodbye salute as our bus left. Most memorable quote on the way home (pretty sure it was Morrie who said it)Theres no redemption! How true. Thank goodness.
The Plane Station (Hi Dawn!) aka AIRPORT: Spirit Airlines was quick and efficient and had very, very short lines. Some of our group had a farewell luncheon at the Margaritaville restaurant next to Gate 1. It gave us a chance to say goodbye a last time and walk each other to our respective departure locations.
The only ARGH! moment didnt occur until we reached Ft. Lauderdale and Spirit had four or five international flights arriving at the same time that had to share two luggage carousels. Marge & Tam guarded bags while Dan (I LOVE THIS PLACE!) and Rudy waded into the fray of hundreds of cart-wielding folk to rescue our luggage. Once through this turmoil, customs was pretty quick. Make sure to find the line for US citizens and you should get through just fine.
The drive home was a constant giggle as Tam scrolled through the photos on the digital camera and Rudy egged her on with the Ninja Crab hand gesture. And then depression set insigh. Although wed rather be on vacation, the true fun will last as we all plan a return to the ZOO at Hedo2!
See ya next year,