November 2006 

Precious (P) & Verchema (Vee) 11/3 11/12 

This was our 3^rd trip to Hedo II and we have yet to write a trip report.  After reading our friends Rick and Tinas I (P) decided to give it a go.   Sorry for being so long winded. 

Our ride to the airport and check-in/security were a breeze.  We had a change in planes in Memphis where I hoped to buy my customary liter of Tequila.  We walked around the terminal for about 20 minutes looking for the duty free when Verchema (like so many women must do) insisted that we ask someone where it was.  To my dismay there was no duty free in Memphis.  HOW IN THE WORLD IS THERE NO DUTY FREE IN A MAJOR AIRPORT!!!!!  OK so now Im bummed.  Will I have to spend a whole week at Hedo with just the crappy tequila at the resort?  Will my case of Red Bull go without its favorite companion, Jose Cuervo 1800?  Then it hits me.  There are several friends that will be down that have not left home yet.  I leave voicemails and cross my fingers that someone gets it before they leave home. 

Now its off to the plane.  After we take our seats two very innocent southern couples sit near us, Jimmy & Stacy and Tony & Lori.  Vee starts a conversation with Lori.  Lori asks Vee where we are staying.  After Vee tells her I glance over in anticipation of Loris uncomfortable look, but to my surprise Loris face lights up and she says REALLY, US TOO.  Come to find out the 4 innocent looking southerners were Hedo Virgins in transit.  This made for the best flight down we have ever had.  We got to answer a lot of questions and felt good to ease the worried minds of some Virgins. 

Customs and Immigration were no problem.  It took longer to walk through the new terminal than it did to make it through them both.  We checked in at the Super Clubs desk and there was a bus just about to pull out.  We found ourselves saying something that I am sure is rarely stated at the desk.  We would like to wait for the next bus.  We wanted to ride over with our new friends.  The southern 4 were there soon and off we went.  Traffic was the worst I have ever seen.  That combined with the bus driver we couldnt seem to get to stop talking with the bartender at our stop, made our drive over take forever. 

Once at the resort we get off the bus and Vee seemed to disappear into thin air.  I looked around and she had found Val and Brent.  They were waiting in the lobby for some newbies we met on our Sunday chats.  The resort was not ready for us but not a problem.  Before I could blink Brent had already had our bags shipped to their room (good looking out Brent).  A few minutes later another bus pulled up with the newbies (Mike and Crystal).  We all grinned with the folly of a 4 year old on Christmas morning, at which point I yelled out my 1^st I LOVE THIS PLACE of our trip.  It is so good to see old friends that you just met!   

Now its time to get naked.  Off to Brent and Vals to get changed.   After a quick change we are at Delroys and it is like we never left last year.  After 1 or 619 drinks it is time to get changed for the Friday gala.  We get to the beach and everything looks great.  The lines at the stations were minimal if at all.  The food was good, best we would have outside of the restaurants all week.  After dinner we proceeded to have 2 or 391 more drinks.  By midnight Vee and I were ready to crash and burn.  Val and Brent said the same thing.  Vee and I went to gather our bags, 9 hours later I find that we had passed out in Brent and Vals room.  I woke up and had an epiphany.  Maybe I should go get our own room.  I walk up to the front desk and tell her I need to check in.  The clerk looks at me strangely since I came in from the dining room and I have no luggage.  She just checks me in and sends me on my way. 

Since odds were I would never see this time of day during the rest of our trip,  I stopped at the dining room and picked up a couple of omelets and some bacon.  Then I get back to Brent and Vals to gather Vee and our luggage.  But after eating breakfast what do we do?  You guessed it, went to the nude pool for drinks.  After several hours at the pool we see more and more of our old friends , each asking what our room number is.  All we could tell them was we dont know we havent been to it yet.  After 1 or 548 more drinks the sun starts to set on our 1^st full day at the resort, and finally we get our bags out of Brent and Vals room.   

Now in an effort to keep this report shorter than Moby Dick, I will summarize some highlights of the next few days:

• We ran into the Southern 4 and found out that they had not been on the nude side yet.  After convincing them to try it,  Tony and Lori came over and jumped in the pool.  Jimmy and Stacy took some secluded seats on the beach.  Tony and I decided to get a round of shots for everyone.  As I walked towards Stacy, she took off in a sprint to the prude side that would rival the gold medal winner in the last Olympics.  I guess she was a little shyer than we thought.
• Tony walking to the nude pool side and somehow falling in.  It happened so fast I didnt even see him until he came up for air.
• Brent, Bill, and Mike dressed up as cheerleaders on Naughty School Girl night (Monday).  After seeing them I now understand how some football teams go winless in a season.
• Seeing Gary in his Tight End costume on NSG night is still making me lose sleep.
• Barry dressing up as a Baby and carrying that breast fed sign was genius.  Thanks Barry for letting me borrow that sign for my Baby outfit on PJ night.  The women at the resort seemed to have a great memory.  I was still being fed 4 days later.
• Brent and Val dressing up as the Operation Board Game on PJ night has to be one of the most creative ideas ever.
• Seeing Vee get her right butt cheek slapped every 5 minutes for the 1^st 3 days we were there.  By the end of PJ night she could hardly sit.  Maybe next year she will wear slut wear that covers her butt?  Ummmmm Doubt it!
• Talking Val, DD, Vee, Kathy, Carol, and Crystal into the Catamaran net for a photo op.  Then proceeding to yell We need more women.  We made it up to like 20 before the crew made us stop.
• After the female photo op,  the ladies said it would only be fair for the guys to do the same.  I didnt know it was possible for 15 men to get into a 10 X 10 next and not touch AT ALL!  And when I yelled out Hand check and all hands instantly went in the air.  That was classic.  

This brings me to Wednesday, the day when Vees best friend Charlotte (Ms. Reefer) and another friend of ours Terita were to arrive.  We get up at our customary 1 pm and head to the nude pool to tell everyone good morning.  We are half way through our 1 or 287 drinks when it was time for Terita and Ms. Reefer to arrive.  We waited in the lobby for about an hour and they were no where to be found.  It was time for the Vals Pals Body Shot Marathon so we headed back to the nude side.  Vee and I were 1 and 2 in line.  I got my shot and started to lick Vee from the rooter to the tooter; Vee then poured her shot on Bill and tried her best to make DD jealous.  Go figure DD seemed to care less.  Thats why I love you people!  Now back to the lobby to wait for our friends.  After another hour they finally arrived.  They had been caught in the transit from hell, BUT THEY BROUGHT TEQUILA.  Just as they got off the bus Vee showed with a tray full of B-52s.  As we got ready to take the 1^st shot another bus arrived and off jumped more friends from back home, Rick and Tina.  They joined us for B-52s and I yelled out I LOVE THIS PLACE number, hell I had lost count by then.  We got Charlotte and Terita to the nude beach just in time for the tail end of the BSM.  Seeing as though they were virgins it was good to see them jump in with both feet. 

That night was Pimp and Ho night.  Terita had come up with an idea that was a HUGE hit.  All three ladies would wear collars and let me lead them in.  Vee added to experience by suggesting that they all wear some slutty service outfits.  So Pimpin P had his hos French Maid Vee, Nurse Charlotte, and Flight Attendant Terita all on leashes in tow behind him.  Only problem was people kept stealing the leashes and running off with my ho's. 

Now for highlights from the rest of the week. 

• Watching Ms Reefer show everyone exactly why she has that nickname.  Charlotte, the underground Jamaican economy is forever grateful.
• Seeing Terita go from sober to can't even stand within 4 hours of arrival at the resort.
• Finding out why the EC Tease is called that.  I usually hate being teased, but from her I will deal with it.
• Watching Vee sing in the talent show.  I was so proud of her.  I could never talk her into that.  Lora thank you so much for getting her to do it. 
• Seeing Liz in shoes for more than one day.  I didnt even know she owned shoes. LOL.
• Watching Chris pay homage to Vees Ho Heels.  But the drawback is now I have to buy her more.  Thanks Chris.
• Sitting in the hot tub with Rick, Tina, Brent, Charlotte, Terita, Chris, Nancy, and Vee and wondering which one would fall over 1^st from over consumption of Jamaican product.  I still wonder how any of them were able to see with there eyes that far shut.
• Riding all the way to the airport in my boxers and a T-shirt.
• Vee, Charlotte, and Val taking off their shirts on the bus ride to the airport, the Grand Lido men getting slapped in the head for looking, then the bus driver asking them to please put their clothes back on.  Bummer
• Brent getting stopped by airport security for having handcuffs in his carry-on.
• Literally meeting 11 men named Jason in one week.  It got so bad that I just told # 11 his name was Santa.  But at least he answered to it.
• Numerous requests (by both staff & guests) to purchase items from my Captain Orgasm toolbelt.

All in all it was a great trip.  Yeah the food in the dining room sucked, AC in the rooms half worked, and bar service was a little slow at times.   But at least we had hot water, the restaurants, and good friends to make up for it. 

To Vals Pals, Bosom Buddies, and ECC we again thank you for allowing us to hang out and make new memories.  Lori you are as beautiful as you are talented.  Things just werent the same when you werent playing the piano.  Tony thanks for bringing Vee back to me on Pimp and Ho night.    Jimmy and Stacy, I am glad you two finally dropped trou and came to the nude side.  Mike and Crystal I never thought that anyone could be that High energy.  You used the slide so much it may be in need of repair.  To the Rochester Jason and Kathy, it was too funny watching you two look so deeply into each others eyes that you had no idea people were talking to you.  Good luck on your upcoming marriage. To the Canadian Jason and Kathy we again apologize for missing dinner with you at Xtabi, but thanks for understanding.  To anyone I may have forgotten please blame it on my mind and not on my heart.  You all make Hedo and our vacation memorable.   And finally to the love of my life Verchema, thank you for spending the week at Hedo and not killing me for being the drunken fool that I was.  You are what a wife is meant to be!   

See everyone next year and I say one last time I LOVE THIS PLACE!

Precious (P) & Verchema (Vee)