Boston MikeandPatty Invade Hedo, or Champants!
Saturday September 27th 2003 we are in our home chatting about all the things that we needed to bring with us. Packing is always drudgery, but this time it was even fun. We get along so well we were mostly on the same page, and we got all our bags in the hallway to await our car to the airport in the early morning. 5 am! My plan would be to stay awake all night she wants to go to sleep (guess what we did!).
We awake on time and are outside when the car to the airport comes to pick us up. I load everything into the trunk, and we are off. We arrive at the airport and start getting the bags out!
Honey, where are the cowboy hats? She asks sweetly.
Um.I think they are still in the hallway at the house! I reply meekly.
Ok first glitch!! No biggie! So we dont have our hats for PJ night.we will survive!
Board the plane with no problem at all, and take to the air. Drink service starts and we partake of our first glasses of champagne. Magnificent! Well, the champagne is adequate. Drinking it on the way to Hedo with the most beautiful woman I know was magnificent. Soon come we order more champagnePatty cant believe we are getting all this champagne for free. After a few glasses -- DISASTER!! I spill a glass on my shorts. Patty (who is wearing headphones to listen to the movie) yells to me CAN I SUCK THAT OUT OF YOUR PANTS?? We even have accidents like Hedo people! And now we refer to my shorts as champants!
Flight lands early just like Air Jamaica always seems to for me, and we hit the tarmac. Our bags are up early and we hop through customs with no problem, mon. Off to TimAir. Fortunately for me, Patty had had enough champagne to actually board that tiny plane. That goes easily too, and before you know it we are in the lobby. Patty is SHOCKED!! Shes been waiting for this moment for 2 plus years, and finally she is at Hedonism 2. The lobby is packed. Come to find out Miss Black Nude had just wrapped up on Saturday night, and many people were checking out.
Drop our bags and head out to see the resort. Make reservations for a romantic dinner for 2 at Pastafaris for that night. Hit the main bar, and grab a couple of vodka slushies. I take Patty out and show her some of Hedo.the restaurants and down to the beach. Delroys is empty, and its a bit cold out. The wind is blowing, and the only people at Delroys are in clothes. Weird!
Back up to the desk get in line and get a room immediately. We are in H-Block room 2248. The room is fine per usual, and we get there and unpack a bit, and head to the nude pool. We are naked almost right away, and drinking just as soon. Patty has no problem dropping her pants. Shes getting into the Hedo spirit, and drinking vodka slushies.
After a couple of hours people call out for nude volleyball players. Patty decides to watch and I begin to play. After a few moments I am playing, and Patty is napping in a beach chair with an Appletons, and pineapple juice sitting precariously on her chest (mmmmmm Pattys chest). Every once in a while I leave the game for a moment to check to make sure shes ok! Meet some wonderful people, and play some really great games of volley ball. At one point a very pretty blonde girl (about 22) serves, and a girl on the other team shouts FOOT FAULT!! I replied.Who the hell was looking at her feet???
When volleyball ends we head off to the room to get ready for dinner. Patty wears this amazing dress the first night, its a leopard print with fringe. She looks amazing, all dolled up and we make the trek up to Pastafaris. I walk in, and my old friend Michael shows us to our table. Evelyn sees me enter the restaurant, and beams as she welcomes me back with a wave from across the room, and a big hug as I approach. Getting that kind of a welcome home was a wonderful feeling for sure. The food was fabulous, the mood was very romantic, and the champagne flowed (fortunately not onto my shorts). After dinner we head to the piano bar to catch the best show at Hedo. Dave is in soon, and is really on that night. He was wonderful. Patty and I ended up doing Piece by Piece together on the piano, and laughing thru the whole night. About halfway thru tho it hits us, and we end up back at the room sound asleep about midnight.
Monday September 29
Wake up early, as is my habit at Hedo and in life. I wake Patty, and we head off for our first Hedo breakfast. Charlie cooks me up a good one thick with everything, and Patty has French toast. After breakfast I am off to find Simone the head Entertainment Coordinator, and I find her in the little office. We work out a class schedule as I am going to be teaching spin classes for my supper down there, and we decide on 10 am every day. Easy enough. Simone is quite a woman. Friendly, sweet, and amazingly beautiful. So with my classes set and the rest of the day off we decide to experience Hedo. First things first: back to the nude pool, and Delroys. Much friendlier today than yesterday, and meet up again with some of the folks who were playing volleyball. Lots of fun.
We made dinner reservations at Munahanas for 8 people, and now have to find new friends to help fill our table. We have no trouble at all. Occupancy seems to be way down, but the crowd is really a lot of fun. The nude pool has a volleyball net and we had games everyday. No score was kept, and everyone was encouraged to join. Wonderful. We party all day long. Drinking, and laughing, and having a wonderful time. After jerk chicken oclock we head up to change. Patty takes her shower and out does herself with her outfit. When she came out of the bathroom, all I could say was .. Nice shirt! she replied. Michael this is a dress! YAHMON!! This chick rocks!
We make it to dinner with no problems at all, but are both wiped from the sun, and the pool. Immediately following dinner we decide to call it a very early night and get back to the room by 11 or so and sleep well for the whole night.
Just an aside on Munahanas: What a wonderful meal they serve, but its hot in JamaicaI mean like HOT HOT.and your whole meal at Munahana is eaten directly in front of an oven. Wear something absorbent!!
Tuesday Sept 30
Up early after a good nights rest, and head up to breakfast. More omelets, and more bacon (man I love bacon). Class at 10am today so its good to eat early. After breakfast we walk the resort a bit, and head to the room to get changed for the gym. No one shows for class so we decide to blow it off. After all it is vacation.
Back to the nude pool. We party all day long playing pool volleyball, and dancing to the beat of the delroy special. Before you know it its time for jerk chicken. Its coming out around 4:30pm daily, which is much earlier than Im used to anyway. We eat some chicken have a few more cocktails in the hot tub happy hour atmosphere, and head to the room to get ready for our 8pm, just for two, dinner reservations at pastafari.
Patty is stunning in her black tank and skirt set. She would be arrested if this were not Hedo.man is this place cool or what???? We get to see Evelyn again, and enjoy a remarkable dinner punctuated with a very nice (this is the way I choose to remember it) bottle of champagne, and many toasts to our love!
Following the dinner we head to the room to get ready for the PJ party, but the bed gets the better of us. We fall fast asleep ALMOST immediately.
Wednesday Oct 1, or party day!!
Pattys birthday is finally here!! I go up to the dining room and once again soak up the early morning sights, sounds and smells in the dining room. Reading my magazine, and just taking it all in.
Around 8 am I go back to the room and wake the sleeping beauty. We spend some quality time together while she gets ready to work out, and head up to the gym. Around 10am we start the spin class. No one shows but the two of us, and we do the WHOLE class anyway. What a great workout. My spin tape has a LOT of reggae on it, and the staff member who is cleaning the aerobics room loves the tape. Hes sweeping AND dancing.
After the work out we grab a BIG breakfast and head off to the nude pool. When we get back to our room to get ready for the pool we find a message from the maid staff, written in flowers on our bed. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATRICE, with a heart made from a towel. Lousie in the h-block section of the resort is a magnificent maid.
Down to the nude pool. Patty is wearing her tiara and nothing else, and me carrying all the party hats plus the noisemakers, and favors. We pass out party hats to anyone who would like them, and get quite a few takers. People sure find interesting ways to wear those damn things. If I had known girls would use them to cover the parts I was hoping to see.. I never would have given them out.
Around 2 pm Patty decides in order to prevent another attack of the sleep monster at 11pm that she will go take a nap this afternoon. I walk her back to the room, and head back to the pool. After jerk chicken I head back to the room myself, and Patty tells me I have just missed her friends who have brought her a nice cold bottle of champagne to help us celebrate her birthday. YAY!!
We take the champagne with us down to Matt and Jennys room to share before we head up to dinner. Matt and Jenny leave tomorrow so this (Pattys birthday) will be their last Hedo fling (or so we think). Patty is in a white dress that is mostly sheer..WOW, and Jenny is wearing a black thong body suit with chaps and a cowboy hat..between the two of them.the drool quotient in the dining room is going to be high!!
We head to dinner at Pastafaris. We have a small party tonight -- only 14! What a group. Darryl, Chuck, Bruce and Michele, Mark and Carolyn, Anne and Dave, Matt and Jenny, Me and Patty. What a great crew. While standing at the main bar having my celebratory cigar, and chatting we have an interesting topic come up. Seems Jenny (remember her? In the chaps?) wants to stay a couple of extra days. Shes putting on her pouty face and asking her husband Matt to work it out. Matt has talked to the hotel about an extra 2 days but they want big money per night. I take him to the front desk, and haggle a little, and get him a price he can live with. WHOO HOOOOO they are staying 2 more days. Matt gets on the phone with American Airlines, and I go to tell Jenny to prep for 2 more days. She is, to say the least, PSYCHED!! Matt comes back from the phone call with a terribly long face! Uhoh. Turns out that AA wants 600 dollars (AMERICAN DOLLARS) to change their flight. Are you kidding me??? Well heres the problem. Jenny now has her heart SET on staying 2 more days. Matt sucks it up and goes back to the phone and changes the flight. He can only change it one day though because now Saturday is all booked up so they will be going home on Friday. Jen is back to psyched and we all head to dinner.
Dinner is an amazing affair replete with 8 bottles of champagne. Happy birthday sung to my baby by all our new friends, and terrible threats of birthday spankings. When all are sated we head over to the piano bar to see Dave (the best reason to go to Hedo in the first place).
Dave starts his show right on time, and its a blast. Patty ends up stripping on stage twice, and at some point in the evening Patty and Jenny change outfits. Cool!! Following Daves show, we head to the Disco and dance for hours. What a time!! The girls are on the stage (Patty, Jenny, and Anne), and meet new people too like Jonathan from England, who lost his rings on the waterslide and Patty and he were waving at each other through the window!!. Man - we dance until about 3 am or so, and then off to the hot tub. Everyone soaks for about an hour, and after that we hit the sack (not everyone hits our sack). It is during this hot tub time that Jonathan decides that these crazy Americans should be his companions for his remaining days at Hedo!
Thursday Oct 2, toga night or the $800 nap.
The day starts out meeting Sean and Stephanie, and having them remind me we promised to go to their wedding on the prude side at 11am. I go get Patty and we hit the wedding. I cry my eyes out during the vows, and then again during the reception at King Arthurs bar when Ashley sings endless love acapella thru the window. All in all, a wonderful and very romantic ceremony. After the wedding we fall into our typical pattern. Patty takes another nap so that she can be party Patty into the night again, and we pick up our story around dinner.
Its toga night, and we get into the spirit begrudgingly. I wrap the sheet around me like a towel and Patty follows suit with a white bikini top. She looks awesome. We get to dinner and join Anne and Dave and Matt and Jenny. Jenny isnt looking so well. Matt says he is going to take her to the room to take an advil. We do not see them again at dinner. Remember Matt and Jenny are paying $800 for the extra night.
Everyone eats and drinks and gets into the toga spirit. Patty gets called up on stage to compete in the sexiest toga..what a shock (not to me) she wins!! She had to show her bum to the roombut she won a bottle of rum..thats right..BUM RUM!!! RUM FOR HER BUM!
A pattern has developed. We head to the piano bar (which we are now referring to as King Arthurs bar instead of Veronicas. Arthur is the new head bartender there, and man is he good. Fast efficient, and friendly at every turn with a smile that is worth going to Jamaica for, no doubt!!!) Still no sight of Matt and Jenny. Once again, I regale the crowd with my version (read : sing badly) of Billy Joels YOU MAY BE RIGHT!! Patty dances on the piano again, but unfortunately there is a slightly obnoxious person in the crowd who decides to mess with Dave during Pattys piano top dance. Its a bit frustrating for us, but everyone has to have their fun, I guess. So following that debacle we head to the disco to have a blast. Before we go there though its off to Matt and Jennys room to see why they never returned to dinner. They are both out like lights, but realizing how much they paid to stay one last night they get off their butts and follow us to the disco. They are there for about 10 minutes when they decide to do the water slide to help wake them up. We do not see them again that night.
Man -- we dance yet again until late late late! About 4 am we are back in the hot tub cooling off from getting nutty in the disco. Back to the room about 5 and more sleeping.
Friday October 3, 2003 our first trip to moon hill or, the day without Dave the Pianist
Matt is in the dining room when we get there all upset because they changed his bus time on him. They were supposed to be on the bus at 10 am and now thats been cancelled, and he is supposed to be on the bus at 9am.he just wont make it. They are not anywhere near ready. We work it out so that he can take our reservation on the TimAir flight back to mobay so he doesnt have to rush, and can eat some breakfast. Cool beans. We have breakfast with them, and see them off to their cab to GNAT mooning them all the way out from moon hill.
Friday blends in with the other days our routine doesnt change much. The only thing is the obnoxious person who was in the piano bar is boasting about how funny she was the night before and how she cant wait to go back to the piano bar tonight to be even MORE obnoxious. We decide right then and there to skip the piano bar that day. In my 5 trips I have never once skipped the piano bar..Im going to miss Dave tonight. We make up for it by eating plenty in Pastafaris, and laughing like kids at the beach party. Another day gone..ONLY ONE LEFT!!!!
Saturday October 4, 2003 Last day, or piano bar here we come!!
Man Saturday is a blur. We spend most of it getting acquainted with Delano from the sales staff, and trying to get in all the stuff we havent done yet. Its Anne and Daves final day, and we try to make sure to say good bye to them.
We do the pool for most of the day, and make some new friends, but we are definitely in the .. we-are-going-home-tomorrow-so-dont-expect-us-to-become-close-friends-now mode. We hit the gift shop and spend wayyyyy too much money on stuff, but its worth it to remember our wonderful trip, and we spend some time just cruising thru the resort saying good bye to favorite staff members, and getting one last look around.
Saturday night we eat again at Pastafaris and then hit the piano bar. Dave is in rare form, and we stay until the end including a bookender (its the way we started the trip and now its the way we ended it) double performance by the two of us on the piano. We go to the disco after saying good bye to Dave, and dance until the wee hours one last time. Home to our room after one last hot tub soak, and we prepare to get packed for the dreaded trip home tomorrow.
Sunday is spent mostly getting our stuff together and flying home. What an incredibly successful vacation.
Highlights:
Pastafaris is wonderful in our opinion. If you go, please tell Evelyn, Denver, and Michael we say hi.
Daves show is an absolute DO NOT MISS event at Hedo, and we urge you to go every night as its always something new.
The staff was better than ever. I have never had such a high level of service at Hedo before. Wonderful. Mr. Bourke is doing wonderful things, and it shows.
Delroys being open at night is a brilliant move.
By far the best part of my 5th trip home was getting to be there with Patty. She made me remember what I truly love about Hedo, and brought all the expectations and excitement to a new level. What an amazing lady. What amazing outfits she wore. This was by far the best birthday I have ever experienced, and it wasnt even my birthday. Thank you my love for making Hedo MORE magical then even I ever thought it could be!
Ok a list of people we cant forget.(unless we forgot YOUsorry)
Anne and Dave: you guys should take up synchronized swimming; Matt and Jenny: an $800 nap? That is TOO funny!; Darryl the KING of Hedo; Jonathan, Matthew and Vicki from England; and according to Patty yummy Jonathan too; Rose the EC was a delight to get to know; and Louise the maid helped make our vacation; Sean and Stephanie made me cry ( Im such a wuss); Dave the Pianist is the best entertainment going for sure; Mark and Carolyn; Michele and Bruce; and all the rest of the people who helped make our vacation a blast. Thank you all!
HOLY CRAP this is a long trip report.for YOU the one person who actually read THIS far.thank you! If you have any questions or would just like to chat about Hedo.email us!
Mike & Patty