Steve and Sharon's Trip Report
October 9 - 16, 1999
Getting There
- The travel agents that tell you that "getting there is half the fun" have never been to Hedo. This is not to say that anything bad happened, but we'd rather be there than be in transit. The trip was basically uneventful. Our 3 hour direct flight on Air Jamaica from Baltimore to Mo Bay actually arrived a few minutes early. As a result, and much to Sharon's dismay, the inflight movie (The Matrix), was cut short. Got luggage, quickly went through immigration and off to the Superclubs Desk. Uh Oh, our names aren't on their list! No Problem Mon. They pencil us in and off we go to the Bus. My fears of being approached in the airport by the local pharmaceutical vendors never materialized, and only one person asked for a tip was the Red Cap, and it was clearly posted that his services are not free. The entire ordeal was nothing compared to what we had read about. (Are we in the wrong country?) Our impression of the Bus Ride From Hell is much the same. The near death experience we had dreaded for so long was highly over rated. We are by no means the bravest of the brave, it just wasn't scary. It, like the flight, was on time. They told us and hour and a half and, sure enough, 95 minutes later, we were in the lobby. (Are you SURE we aren't in the wrong country?)Check In - Fears became reality. We waited forever and got bumped from nude beach to nude garden. It was hot and we were in fall clothes, with no place to call home. Life could be worse. There were rumors of people getting bumped next door. If it had happened to us, we wouldn't have been surprised. After all, the resort was full. All's well that end's well. For the inconvenience, we were awarded 3 free days on our next trip.
Alcohol - This was our first trip to Hedo, or to any All Inclusive Resort for that matter. Somehow, even though it was a Kid In A Candy Shop type fairy tale, we managed to enjoy without going overboard to the point of ruining things. The biggest dilemma was trying to decide what to drink next. Life is good.
Food -
The Main Dining Room: Pretty much as expected. Large variety and not bad. What I liked most was All You Could Eat Lobster Tail. Second on my list was the opportunity to try Caribbean foods that you just don't see much of at home. I didn't love them all, but trying something different is one of the joys of traveling. Papaya, Breadfruit, Guava Juice and Curried Goat are a nice diversion from the stuff we are used to. By the way, don't miss the omelets at breakfast and the desserts at lunch and dinner.
Pastafari's: We went twice and both experiences were good. For a Caribbean resort, they do OK with Italian.
Robert's Grill: Oh Yum! Grilled cheese with bacon and tomato :) :) :), and make sure you are around at least once (at 6pm) for Jerk Chicken.
Sex and the Dreaded Sex Police - We had also never been in an environment where open sexuality was tolerated. Many of the repeat offenders were angry (and I certainly don't blame them a bit) at how strict the sex police were. At the same time, they let us slide now and then, and to us, it was a million times more than we had ever seen or experienced. We definitely took advantage of the situation and enjoyed it to the fullest. Oddly enough, the Cave of Love was empty all week (perhaps because it was slightly cooler than usual). I guess Sharon figured Enough Is Enough, and shamed (with little or no effort) 6 other couples into joining us somewhere around Thursday afternoon. The guard's attempts to stop us resulted in very loud chants of Hell No We Won't Go, followed by several unsuccessful attempts to drag him in there with us. To his credit, he kept his sense of humor and left us alone for as long as he thought he could without getting into trouble.
Entertainment - The entertainment staff was fantastic. They do an outstanding job of putting people at ease and adding to the Hedo experience. Details of the trip fade into memory over time. One that won't is that of Sizzler walking towards the Nude Beach, removing his clothes, proclaiming, "I am a slut!" If you imagine the place without these folks, it seems rather dull all of a sudden.
Our Room / 2265 - Nice and quiet. Top floor (nobody above us), last room down (nobody walking by) across from the basketball court (and nobody played much basketball). The new air conditioner had been installed, and it was always cool enough. The smell we had heard about left with the old unit. That was the luck of the draw. The room next to ours hadn't yet been upgraded. Water pressure was OK but the temperature varied as predicted. The tap water, which was fine at first, turned increasingly brown as the days went by. We eventually decided to get ice water from the bar. New and amusing food stuff is one thing, local brown water is another.
The Weather - October is one of the 2 wettest months of the year in Jamaica, so we expected rain and weren't disappointed. When it rains at Hedo, it doesn't fool around. It came down so hard, it looked fake. The rains earlier in the week were accompanied by serious business thunder and lightning. The average guest at Hedo is braver than we are. We headed for cover, they headed for the hot tub. Nobody died, but I still wonder why. Towards mid to late week, we learned that a hurricane had been spinning around Cuba for 2 days, and we then understood why we were getting 30 mph winds and 1 Sunshine Day Guarantee. Thanks Superclubs. Keep the freebies coming.
Homeward Bound - This was the day from Hell. It went smoothly, but GOD was it long.
7:30 a.m. - up and at 'em
9:00 a.m. - Bags outside room.
9:20 a.m. - Breakfast
10:00 a.m. - Stand in line forever for immigration, baggage check, export tax, etc.
11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. - hard to enjoy waiting for the bus.
2:00 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. - The Bus Ride From Hell
3:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. - Wait for the plane (Oh Boy).
5:30 p.m. Three hour and fifteen minutes in the air. The Matrix AGAIN??? Well, we saw the end this time.
11:15 - Home at last. Sure wish I had one of those transporters from StarTrek.
Suggestions to first timers:
If you are reading this and haven't been to Hedo yet, we offer the following advice:
1.) Visit Denny's Board often. It is your best online source of information about Hedo.
2.) Buy and read The Naked Truth About Hedonism II by Chris Santilli.
3.) Reread The Naked Truth About Hedonism II by Chris Santilli while you are at Hedo.
4.) Pack wisely. While it is important not to over pack, little things you forget can cost a fortune. Suntan lotion, for instance, is almost double what you pay at home.
5.) Leave your inhibitions at home. You will be glad you did.
6.) Bring an extra large insulated drink cup with lid and straw.
7.) Things happen slowly (Soon Come Mon). Failure to adjust can ruin your trip.
Our Thanks to:
- Denny Pasternak: Your link to others with similar interests has made the days and hours in between trips less painful.
-Chris Santilli: The information you provided in advance was invaluable. We would have been lost for a week without it.
- Tina and Steve: For the Jamaica Loop. Meeting people online ahead of time made a huge difference.
- Mike and Sharla - Our traveling companions from start to finish and good friends during the time in between.
- The endless list of wonderful folks we met and talked to throughout the week. Hedo is the people. If it weren't for you, this would have been just another great vacation.