Well its finally time for our trip report. First let me say thanks to all of you who convinced me to try the nekid thing. Paul sends a HUGE THANK YOU to all of you also. He would have been all alone on the fun side of the resort, instead we had the vacation of a lifetime.
Our trip started out pretty much the same as always, until we realized in route that we had not only forgotten our watches but our camera as well. Oops, so we make a quick detour to 24 hour Kmart, and we are off again. Well not quite ….accident on the freeway…..we make it to the airport parking lot with 30 min. till the flight leaves. Rush to check bags, Rush to get cinnabon (a must for Paul), Rush to the gate, last ones to board. Relax……………………………………
We arrrive in MoBay on schedule, do the customs thing, check in at Super Clubs desk, decide due to weather and several other factors to take the bus from hell. So they load 3 single guys (Vinnies) , another couple, and Paul and I into a mini van. They had to remind the Vinnies to tip the porter. Shame shame guys. And were off to the Hedo. Our driver Spence was quiet at first but we got him chatting and then he never stopped. Vinnie number one makes major purchase on the Ganja bridge he smiled the rest of the trip. Other two Vinnies made major red stripe purchase at the airport, now they have to wee wee, but alas they didn’t care for the facilities so they opted to ride in pain. Actually I really am not being fair, the single guys were very nice and we didn’t see them trying to find any action on the nude side all week so maybe you really couldn’t call them Vinnies. Arrive at Hedo, check in, change from prude to nude side ($98.00 worth every penny) run to room. Peek out of the curtains. EEEEEEKKK!!!naked people are everywhere. Well for those of you
who spoke to me before we went you know this is the part I am dreading. So off come the clothes, on goes the cover up and out the door we go. I hear a strange noise as soon as we start to walk"Paul do you hear that" ohhh it is just my knees knocking together in fear. We walked like 20 feet and I decided now or never.. off comes the cover up Paul almost #@!* "wooo, lets go back to the room for awhile, I wasn’t prepared for this, and I might be a little to embarrassed if we don’t take care of something first" Paul exclaimed. I just giggled and walked on down the beach. It is nice to know you can still surprise them once in awhile. I think he was really serious, but a little torture never hurt anyone did it? Only disapointing thing on our first day was lack of sun, we never saw it. Asked around, everyone claims that it comes out at 6:00 am and leaves around 12:00. Oh well, we hot tub for awhile, meet Con and Lynn, head off to the italian restaraunt for dinner, and then back to the hot tub. So ends our first day.
Our routine for the morning was to be up by 6:00 am, stake out our chairs on the Jetty (best sun) grab 7 am coffee and fruit. We did this every day we were there. People kept claiming they would meet us on the Jetty in morning and we never saw them until afternoon. We wanted to come home with a great tan, and we took advantage of all the sun we could.
Hot tub again on Thurs. due to afternoon showers, meet Barry and Cheryl. Found out they live really close to us. Uh oh! But not too close. (just kidding guys) They were really nice, and we had some great times lazing around chatting with them. They had claims to the table in the sun closest to the bar very smart planning on their part. Toga night tonight, I have brought my own, and Paul will make one out of a sheet. We dine with Con and Lynn, Lynn did a great job tying her toga. You Go Girl!! We didn’t think toga night was real exciting too many people in street clothes. But the body arts people showed off their tattoos and piercings and that was really kind of cool.
Well the days begin to run together after this point so I will just mention a few highlights:
We formed a conga line, chanted 2-4-6-8- everybody masterbate. And then ran from the nude side to the prude side, through the Sandals vs. Hedo volleyball game. You should have seen the looks we got. I am rather sure that my butt is in some one elses photo album. He He He!
Played nude volleyball, made lots of friends doing that. Won lots of Hedo Bucks also. Also had my butt pinched by some strange old man everytime we had to rotate positions on the court. He is lucky to still have fingers to pinch with. Hey Carol how is you toe? Hey and Donna and Terry arrive while we are playing volleyball, Paul and I had been watching for them. We had their descriptions from the e mail, but that is a lot harder than you would think it is. Invite them in to the game, but they want to get settled in first. They come back later nekid, guess they are settled in.
Dinner at italian place with Terry and Donna,( hey you guys look good in clothes) great company. Terry gently harassed the waitress, she took it well and just smiled the whole time. The champaigne flowed and so did the conversation. Off to the piano bar, after all Donna is wearing her piano dress. Well now this is something no one warned us about, Rated R piano bar. WOW! We were there less than 5 minutes when the piano player (David?) asked some girl to fake an orgasm, her hubby asked if he could help her. Sure why not……So he drops her shorts, and starts to eat her right there..Paul was in heaven…"this place is great" next a woman refused to sing when asked…..Big NO NO! so they erupt in song.,, piece by piece….piece by piece… and since she wouldn’t strip, she stripped some guy who was sitting by her. Don’t know if it was her hubby or not. Naked as they get, he starts to shake it around. The motto is This bar is Rated R, anything you say may be held against you, take no offense by anything that happens. And happens it does. We boogie off to the disco, where Paul and Terry take root on the bench along the wall while Donna and I dance. Then back to the piano bar where Donna gets her nickname for the trip…..She sits on the piano and sings a song, with her dressed hiked up and her legs open for Terry, every guy in the bar was changing seats to get a better view. What a voice……Ok so they throw us out and we are still in the mood to party so we take up residence on the chess board outside, Paul vs. Donna in a game of strip chess. Terry and I also had to strip even though we were just innocent bystanders. Donna had Paul beat but blew due to too many Land Sharks. If you have never sat in one of the chairs by the chess board, do it naked, what a lovely imprint it makes on your ass. Game over Paul wins, off to the cool jacuzzi. Then off to bed.
The hard bodies arrived sometime before the beach party and one of their girls was quite stoned, she kept grunting and grinding her way up and down the coordinators legs. They were not a happy group of guys you could tell she was really getting on their nerves. Robin got her back though….in the game where you run down the beach, spin 10 times and run back, he kept her spinning (to high to notice) for like 40 times. When she ran she fell flat on her face. The whole crowd errupted in laughter, I must say it was really very funny. Way to go Robin!!!
We went snorkling with, Vince, Sherry, Barry, Cheryl, Donna,Terry, Lynn and Con one afernoon. We opted for the nude snorkle and I don’t think our shipmates were too happy about it. Oh well! Vince claimed to have seen "salt water beavers everywhere" and Donna (it was you wasn’t it) say a whole lot of really HUGE "sea penis’s" It was a really great trip.
Sunday night we did the Ricks Café sunset trip. No sunset though, because it is cloudy again. Made new friends Kim and Eric they were really great. But they were leaving in the morning so we were sad for them. We had some really good appetizers and a few red stripes, and then took odds on how long it would take the coco model dancing on the wall above the cliffs to fall. Yes, it is the same girl from the beach party. I know it sounds mean to be betting on this but it was a slow night. Sorry we had to find some thing to talk about, just kidding. Oh yeah I forgot to mention Sunday was the day that the Hedo decided to fix the water pressure, which had been fine. Notice said "low water pressure from 11 to 4" Be forewarned this means NO WATER ugh!
No toilets flushed, no showers before we left for Ricks.It was not wonderful. We returned to Hedo via the bus, which had to navigate through a Jamaican street party for Bob Marleys birthday. Hundreds of people, lots of grills cooking chicken, tons of ganja in the air. Very wild. We returned in time for dinner and a shower. We tried to do Veronicas again, but we couldn’t seem to stay awake.
Monday Kim and Eric are leaving. They insist we must get loaded before there bus leaves, NO PROBLEM MON. A couple of land sharks, a purple mother #@#@$#$@ or two and we are very happy. This is where Kim and I get mean, two very snotty Vinnies were lounging around Dressed, and we tried to get them to leave, they claim that there is no pool on the prude side where you can lay in the water in a chair. No problem, take off the shorts, no way they would. So off we go to tell Scumba, who gets security on the butts and off they go, whining all the way. Way too much of this was seen this week. There were probably 20 dressed people at the grill eating dinner the one evening. Oh well sorry I got off the track. Anyway, Donna, Terry, Paul and I escort the unhappy honeymooners to their bus, and salute them bare bum style. Terry and Donna retire for the entire afternoon, Paul and I return to the pool and chat with Ernie and Lee Ann, whom I had spoken to through the web site. Ernie took a shot of me behind a tree, since thats where I said I would be all week. They were really nice and we had fun spending some time with them. They said they had been looking behind trees all week but couldn’t find me. LOL. The pool action got a little heavy this afternoon…I thought she was with him…no she was with her…..or was it….Oh well they looked like they were having fun. To each his own. Paul and I crash in the sun and miss the only sunset there was all week, crap. Then we really screw up, due to our early morning binge drinking we forget we have dinner reservations with Terry, Donna and another couple. When we remember we are like half way through with our dinner at the buffet.. VERY VERY SORRY T and D. Its our last night so we head off to the pool to hang out, the hot tub is way to chemicalized yuck, Paul hangs in the regular pool, Terry and Donna opt to nap and come back down later and try the hot tub again. Early to bed again.
6:00 am sun, say goodbye to new friends on the beach Brad and Shirley from Kentucky. 10:30 head up for showers, now we have to rush, finish packing, empty safe, check under bed. Etc. No time for bell boy, run up the hill with very heavy luggage (lots of Tia Maria) do the phone bill thing, hugs, kisses to Donna and Terry, have we really only known them for a week. D and T give us the bare bum salute on moon hill. We are sad very very sad. We hit the small airport in less than 5 minutes, OMG! The plane is very small. The literally cram us and two other couples inside and we are off. Good bye Hedo till next year…………….DIF sets in and it hasn’t left yet. Thank you to all of our new friends for a wonderful trip. I hope we can all go together next year. Anyone with questions please email Paul or I we would be glad to answer what ever we can.