Whew !!!, We finally made it to Jamaica after all these years. Deb had been a travel agent in Houston for years and had visited many Caribbean destinations but never Jamaica. Shame on her. We left Houston July 16th with Deb’s lifelong friend Susan and her Honey de Jour, Pat. Susan and Deb were born from best friends back in England and have been “feuding friends” ever since. Guess they will be together from diapers to Depends<g>. Pat and Suz had been there once before, but only three days and could not remember much except they had the greatest time ever. I am sure everyone remembers Suz with the 44’s and Pat with the huge silicon “Mr. Fred”. No Chaka...You may not have “Mr. Fred”!!! We met at 3am for our 6am flight and headed to Inter-Planetary. Rather than quickly pack our things together, Deb had spent days planning. The Victoria Secrets bill was more than the trip. She still has not worn half of what she bought !!! I lugged the swollen baggage to the check-in line and Deb immediately spotted the code on the passengers luggage as to where people were headed. She would tug at my sleeve everytime someone passed that was going to Hedo like a child going to camp for the first time. I quickly convinced her that screaming “THEY’RE GOING TO HEDONISM TOO !!!” was not cool and she finally settled down. Yes, we took the bus and am glad we did as I will never experience that again. I kept wanting to grab the steering wheel and steer to the right side of the road while screaming “WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE !!!” First rest stop I hit the Red Stripe and soon driving on the wrong side of the road seemed very normal again. Finally arrived at Hedo and (lets all say it together) “Your rooms will not be ready till 3PM”. Pat said “No problem, Mon” and started tugging us towards the nude pool. I, a virgin, started crawfishing and backpedaling till Pat, in total disgust, agreed to wait it out in the prude area. Damn the luck, he listened to me!!!! There we wasted 3 hours of fun while I drank my courage down. Finally our rooms were available and Deb, who always unpacks everything slowly and neatly, then places everything in its proper place, tossed clothes into drawers and toiletries into the bathroom all from the top of the bed where the suitcase was opened. I started to believe Deb was a little excited about this trip. Now, for our grand appearance at the nude pool. “Please don’t get a woodie” I kept repeating to myself as we walked slowly to meet Pat and Suz. What a sight !!!! I courteously looked at eye level to spot Pat and Suz but they were laying down so my eyes had to drop. Oh Well !! As soon as I was Au Natural....I truly was. I have never been so much at home as I was at Hedo. By the time of my first visit to the men’s room I was saying to myself “Get a semi !! Get a semi!!” The competition was tough and I could not. Neither could any others from what I could tell, Thank God. That was about the time Deb spoke up “What the hell was I thinking, bringing 5 bathing suits to Hedo ????” That is all I can remember of the day so I will now give Deb, Pat’s and Suz’s account of the evening. We decided to go for dinner and I tried to stand up. Apparently after several tries I managed to remain bi-pod. It was then dark and no one could remember where our rooms were. I remember seeing lightning but little else. Then from somewhere, a kind Asian man appeared and pulled me out of the flower bed (so I am told). Pat and Suz lead me under the arms of Deb and Hung Lo from building to building searching for our rooms. Several buildings and staircases later the rooms are found. Please let me stress this was not the usual me. I have never been so wasted I could not stand or walk(or drive) in a somewhat straight line. Between the three hours sleep the last 48 hours and the travel, it just took its toll. Hung Lo, I never thanked you and wish to now. Thanks !!! Day Two thru Eight: Woke up at 3:30am and felt amorous and wondered where the blood was coming from(head wound). “To bad” said Deb groggily as she was a little POed we wasted a night. The rest of the trip was a blur of laughter. Met a wonderful couple from Philly who I believe we will remains friends with forever plus many others who we will surely party with for many years. High Notes: Standing naked with Rosanne at the snack bar and she says demurely and sweetly but in a very serious voice “Just two days ago several of my friends asked “Are you really going to take your top off ????” Toga party and Suz’s wine has not come fast enough. Pat jumps up and pulls what I think is Mr. Fred from beneath his toga and begins to bang it hard on the table screaming with laughter “CAN WE GET SOME SERVICE OVER HERE !!!!” I look down and it is not Mr. Fred going BAM BAM BAM on the table top. I laughed for 6 hours straight. Everyone around asked me what I was smoking but I just could not stop laughing long enough to tell them “Nothing”. A member of the zoo-crew came to the nude pool and asked the ladies to step forward. No one stepped forward and she asked why no ladies has stepped forward. A voice was heard “There are no ladies in this pool.” She asked for the hot women to step forward and she was suddenly surrounded. Many men volunteered to help with a birthday greeting for a young lady at the nude pool. “Happy Birthday” was painted on the men’s buns as they lined up before the birthday girl. No one bothered to warn the poor fellow who had BI painted on his cheeks as he wandered down the beach afterwards. The Bill Clinton look alike from England who posed with all the ladies and Ken (fireman with the long hose) and Jo who took Deb’s picture with the Prez before he broke his camera. Last night and we hit it early (midnight) but unable to sleep. I looked at Deb whose eyes were wide open.. We really should not have been so responsible and headed for the hot tub. Next time we will know better. Ken & Deb