Hello All: I am a single male and I am about to tell you about a trip that I just completed to Hedonism II. I started off trying to make this a funny report but as I sit here on Sunday morning , there is no happiness in my thoughts. My happiness was left in Jamaica and I can't wait to get back thereto try to recover it. First, a little about myself. I am 42, average looks, average height and weight and I don't have the personality of a professional comedian. I will return to Hedo The sooner I go the better. I will not go there single ever again though. Is Hedo a place for single males? It depends. No, if you are just going in order to get laid. This will not happen unless you look like Tom Cruise or have the personality of Richard Simmons. Yes, if you just want to have fun and you look forward to meeting a bunch of interesting and friendly people. Even with this attitude, it can be awkward at times. Some people will think that you are just being friendly in order to pick them up, or maybe it was just the way that I felt. I would also say that I can only speak about the nude side as that is where I stayed.
Highlights There were so many highlights of this trip that I couldn't possibly write about them all so I will tell you about the moments that made me laugh the most and this is how I judge the trip.
1. When anyone came too close to the nude beach a trio of Hedo veterans would launch water balloons at them with a balloon launcher. Where else can you go to see grown adults behaving like children and having the time of their lives doing it. The funniest part was when the male of the trio pulled back on the launcher real hard and lost his footing. He fell flat on his but and his momentum slid him forward eight feet into the water. The entire beach stood and applauded.`
2. The island picnic was a blast. We played drinking games and tried to get the prudes to take off their clothes. Some did not want to do it but the more the alcohol flowed, the less they wore. Thanks to Shacka ( one of the sexiest women that I have ever met) for making the picnic fun. A special thanks to the girl who suggested that we play Duck-Duck-Goose. It was the funniest game. We were able to watch drunk people stumble around in the water chasing each other.
3. Kareoke and piano bar at Veronicas. Nuff said.
4. The scum and cloudy water of the Jacuzzi. It was bad but the lifestylers were there that week. As soon as they left, the water seemed to magically clear up. Go figure.
5.A woman bringing a raft full of drinks to the hot tub and than passing them out to everyone. This kind of friendship captures the true meaning of the resort.
6. The 4th of July Parade. People painted their bodies in red , white, and blue. We all proceeded to march to Sandals and Gran Lido. Everyone came down to the beach to watch all of the naked and semi-naked parade around. The parade didn't even get cut short when a downpour hit. I would like to remind you that these were all adults of sound mind and body. On second thought, maybe not the sound mind
7. The sexual dice game. Blow this. Eat that. Suck those. What a great game to play with strangers. I was chosen twice in 5 minutes. Use your imagination. I loved that game and the kiss from Judy. I would like to play again. Hey, cheep thrills are better than no thrills.
Sorry That I Didn't Wear stronger sunscreen on my unit at the picnic. Apologize to Mo earlier. Get more hugs from naked people. Drink more. ( I want to get my moneys worth) Drink less. (self explanatory) Get a better cave watching seat. Scream less at the toga party. ( I couldn't sing the rest of the trip.) Get to know more people. ( Everyone has something to add to the trip.) Meet Sonja and Ed. We had exchanged e-mail. ( I did see a raft with their names on it though) Play tennis. ( Whenever I wanted to play, I was drunk or it was raining.)
Complaints There was a lot to complain about. Getting the correct room. Service at the bars. Disrepair of the facilities. Open sex. Sorry didn't mean to put that in this category. Maybe in the US we get used to such a fast pace that we want it done now. In Jamaica, things move a little slower. Maybe I shouldn't let these things bother me but they do. Mo helped me keep everything in perspective though. Tell Your Mother My mom asked me how my trip went and what did I do.(she thinks that I went to Breezes) I told her it was great and that I drank and went sailing because the rest of what I did would be impossible to describe. I really did not do anything but I did experience Hedo and all the laughter you get when you don't do anything at all. You have to experience Hedo, you can't learn about it by reading this trip report. The people that have never been there just can't understand what the place is all about. It could give them an idea but it's not the same as living it. An acquaintance that was down there at the same time said that he wished that his friends had told him that it was going to be like this so that he could have been more prepared. Even if they had told him more about Hedo, he still would not have been prepared for it. Oh, did I mention that he looks like a male model? Maybe that's why he loved it.
Summing It Up Don't miss Pastifari. The best service and the best food at the resort. I want to thank the following people for making this a better trip. Don't read this if you weren't there this week. Mo, the nicest sweetest girl at Hedo. Without her, I would have been like a square peg in a round hole. Linda and Tom, nudists in the making. She was topless at dinner at the toga party and I am telling mom. Brenda and Mike, Did this couple ever wear clothes? Brenda, you have a great personality. Denny and Diane, Thanks for making us feel welcome. Lorena and Devin, Love those tan lines. This girl was so sexy. Terry, Keep on singing. You're great. Sonny, Hey, if I looked like you, I could have done better with Mo. Judy and ? from North Carolina, That was a great kiss and Your eyes are so blue. Shiela and ? This girl could really twirl a baton. Ed and Susan, My fantasy girl. I thought more about her than any woman except for Mo. The Glow Worm Team, I wish that I could have known you. Your group looked like fun. Lynne, the school teacher. The Columbian girl, Don't ever rub against me like that again! The lesbians, You are accepted at Hedo. Mike and Becky, Don't ever touch me like that again. You're a tease. Ease into it next year. Jeff and Kim I should have hung out with you more. Was I invited? And thanks for letting me massage you.