After being at Hedo for the second time and suffering from the DIF (Dreaded Island Fever) all over again, was the second time worth it?? YOU BET!!
The following represents the viewpoint of the writer and may or may not apply to any one else. This was our third trip to a "naked" type of resort. The first being Diamond Eden in Baja, Mexico in 1997 and then last year at Hedo. We were searching for a place to vacation and we had talked about going to Jamaica. We searched the Internet (where else?) and found this resort called Hedonism II. We passed it over on our first search and while looking at other resorts, we found ourselves returning to the sites that talked about this "strange" place called Hedo. We finally decided to go ahead and book our trip and selected the week of July 4th. We read every trip report that we could find and talked to anyone that was on the AOL boards that had any information. We put our names on the visitor list that Denny had put together (MANY, MANY THANKS TO DENNY!!!!) and started to write to the other couples that were going at the same time. We settled into a small group of about 10 couples and exchanged pictures, told stories of our kids and generally got to know them. We were married at Hedo last year and one of the people that attended the wedding said that it was really great that we brought our friends with us and asked how long we had know each other. When we told him that we had only met the day before, he could not believe it. The friends that we made seemed to fit into that category of "oh, we have not seen you in a year, but it was just yesterday" type of friends. We started to plan our return trip even before we had left from the first one. Out of the 10 or so couples that we had gone with in 1998, only two could not make the return trip in 1999.
Several things that made the week even more spectacular stand out above the rest:
First of all Hedo is more than just a collection of buildings, sand, water, booze and food. Hedo is people. Hedo is the Jamaican people that are really happy to see you arrive. Hedo is Delroy, Robert, Robin, Paul, Wisburn, and let's not forget Shaka (where do they get all that energy?). Hedo is the taxi driver that makes you wish that cars had never been invented. Hedo is the 500 or so people that are at the resort for the week that you are there. You know the ones that I mean, the ones that you may or may not even meet, but the ones that you make up nick-names for. Miss Burned-butt, Mr. "I don't have a clue that I look like a dork", Miss "former he, but now a she" and we cannot forget Mr. "I'm too cool to even take my Joe Cool boxers off". It makes you wonder what someone else has given you for a nickname. (Ring man, Ace {as in Ace Hardware} and who knows what else). But most of all Hedo is the friends that you make there. Hedo is Jon and Sherry and Rosie (Go Jamaican Glow Worms!), Tim and Joyce, Stacey and Doug, John and Colleen, Deb and Mike, Colleen and Kevin, Fred and Maryann, Wayne and Joan, Sonny and TJ, Jennifer and Paul, Norm and Becky, Karen and Dave, Lisa and Steve, just to name a few.
Secondly Hedo is the chance to be "Wicked for a week". Now that is what Super Clubs uses for its' advertisements, but it is true. There are not too many places in this wide world that you can experience the entire sensory overload that makes Hedo so special. Sure we can parade around at home wearing only a sheet, or wear a see-through thong to bed, but it's just not quite the same as actually being there. We won't complain about the temperature or pressure of the showers. We are not picky eaters, so we have nothing bad to say about the food, and the drinks are free, so what is there to complain about? Nothing tastes quite as good as a cold, slightly stale sandwich at 2:00 am. As long as you are surrounded by your friends, chest deep in the pool, laughing at silly jokes, who wants to go to bed anyway?
Now for the mundane parts of the trip. These are not in any particular order, just how they came to mind.
We only ate lunch in the main dining room once during our stay. The nude grill provided all of our midday nutritional needs for the entire week. They never did have the little meat pies that we had last year, but the sandwiches tasted great and the fries, well what can I say? One tip to pass along: The ketchup is not the best, but if you add some of the hot sauce to it, then it tastes fine. The jerked chicken was, as expected, wonderful. We met a couple from Missouri and introduced them to jerked chicken. The sauce was extra spicy that night and that was the most that we ever saw Donnie sweat all week. Monica thought that it was great (my kind of girl).
We did make it into the dining room for the wet tee-shirt contest. The whole point of the contest is to give the ladies a chance to do something that they would never do at home. While it is nice to see the "professional" dancers strut their stuff, they should be disqualified from the judging. Who can compete with someone who dances 5 nights a week? Yes, they are also here to have fun, but there are other contests that they can try and win. We met a couple from New York earlier that day. Lisa was very hesitant to enter the contest, but with only a little encouragement from Steve and myself, she acquiesced and signed up. She had a great time and the guys (and the girls) really enjoyed her performance. After the dancing routine, she was selected to pick three men from the audience. After she made her selections, she was asked to lie on her back and cookies were sprinkled all over her. Then the guys were asked to "clean" up the cookies. Household chores have never been so much fun. More on Lisa later.
When we went last year, Craig was very disappointed that he could not participate in the naked TwisterŽ contest. That was something that, come rain or high water, he was not going to miss. After a year of waiting, it was finally time for the game to begin. Well, it was worth the wait. Four naked bodies, contorting in ever possible way (well, maybe not every way), struggling to find those little circles of color. In the end, Craig came out $20,000 Hedo bucks richer and a smile several size's bigger. Thanks, Lorena for playing, sorry that you were bumped out so soon. You needed to dive under to get those dots.
We went on the catamaran cruise to the Pickled Parrot. Went snorkeling, swam into the pirates' caves, jumped off of the rope swing (Pat wouldn't let Craig jump off of the cliff this year) and just generally spend a fun several hours with our friends. Steve was there giving out those wonderful foot massages and Rasta Ralph was there to entertain us with his music and charm.
One of the couples (John and Colleen) that we met last year is celebrating their 20th anniversary this year and were going to renew their wedding vows at Hedo. They decided that they did not want that much attention and just decided to keep it quite. Little did they know that the rest of the gang knew about it and we decided that we just could not let it go by without some kind of celebration. Another one of the couples (Mike and Deb) that we met last year lives near John and Colleen and got together a montage of pictures and brought a poster board to mount them on. Deb called ahead to the Pickled Parrot and arranged transportation for 20 of us. John and Colleen knew that we were going to the Pickled Parrot, but not that we were going to make this evening just for them. Well, the surprise was worth it. Colleen cried and John was broken up when they saw the pictures. After a champagne toast, we were whisked off to the Pickled Parrot. Pat ended up riding up front with the driver (I think that he liked Pat's cleavage), and the driver made sure that we spent as much time at the Pickled Parrot as we could. He could have challenged any one of the demolition derby drivers to a contest. Nothing was going to prevent him from getting us to our dinner. Not goats, nor potholes, nor pedestrians, nor even on-coming cars would stay him from his appointed task. In the blink of an eye, or was it that our eyes were closed, we were setting down to a soon to be marvelous sunset. No sooner than we had sat down to order our meals, then the sun hit that perfect point on the horizon and gave us the "post card" sunset that you always dream about. As soon as the sun finished painting the sky, it was the nights' turn to give us a show. With almost no warning, the sky decided that we had not had enough rain and opened up with a tremendous rainstorm. With a flurry of flying chairs and quick ducking, we were soon seated inside where we could watch the rain and still enjoy the night. After a wonderful dinner of good food and even better conversation, it was soon time to head back to Hedo. Our taxi driver insisted that Pat sit up front with him (the better to view your cleavage, my dear!). And with a full van our driver once again made sure that we spent as little time as possible on the road. Now we were dodging potholes, goats, people and the even present on-coming cars, but we were doing this in the dark. While Fred and I "entertained" Maryann in the back seat, Pat was doing her best to keep the driver focused on watching the road. When we finally made it back to the resort, Pat literally kissed the ground. Ho, hum, another boring day in paradise.
One of the highlights of the week (for the non-Glow Worms) was going to be the second annual deep throat (banana) contest staring "Candy Lips". As the time for the event grew closer, the Glow Worms were getting restless and decided to start some action of their own. Someone brought out a set of "body dice". One of the dice contains a noun and the other a verb. In other words, if it is your turn to roll and you come up with "tease", "lips" then you pick someone from the players and you "tease" their lips. After you are finished, then the person that you picked gets a turn. This started out to only include the members of the Glow Worms, but before it was finished, we had the entire nude pool watching and the "deep throat" contest was forgotten and Candy Lips was once again denied the chance to re-claim her title.
The talent contest is always a mixed bag of really awful singers and maybe one really talented person. This year had its' share of awful and mediocre talents, but we were treated to two acts that were actually great. The first was our own Sherry! Rocken Red herself along with Rosie, the Jedi Queen. They sang and performed for us and really had the crowd roaring for more. The sounds that these two lady made, was nothing short of ... well I guess that "professional" doesn't quite sound adequate, but that sums it up. They were great! The other act that deserves notice was Lisa's. Earlier in the day Lisa had asked to borrow my hat and said that she wanted to us it in the talent show that night and being the giving guy that I am, of course I said "yes". Lisa you can borrow my hat anytime! She did a strip tease to the song "You Can Leave Your Hat On". She had all the guys in the crown standing up, even though they were still sitting. She just oozed sensuality and was out there entertaining herself as much as the rest of us. Thanks Sherry, Rosie and Lisa for the show. Makes you believe that there is hope for us poor slobs that have no singing and dancing talents.
There are so many small things that make any trip special. On the last day, after we had been evicted, we were setting by the pool talking to Annie and Don. The topic of return trips had come up and Annie told me that Don has been to Hedo more than 20 times. I told her that there was no way I could compete with that. But with two trips under my belt (at least it would be after I got home and had to put a belt back on) I could at least hold my head up high and consider myself a Hedo veteran. She looked at me and said that she cold not believe that I had not been coming to Hedo for many year. When she met me last year, she thought that it seemed that I just always belonged there. I guess that I cannot fight fate and will just have to keep coming back.
