First timers we were, but many timers we will be over the years. We thought we would write a trip report based not on chronology but on the significant events associated with our first adult vacation in a 23 year marriage.

Before December 1998, we had never heard of Hedonism II. Even had to look up the definition of Hedonism in the dictionary. We booked our trip through a local travel agent that had been to Hedo. Using frequent flyer miles to cover airfare seemed to have complicated things, and still we are not sure that we reduced the total cost. Using the Delta Miles and trying to schedule when there were open frequent flyer seats with when there were open times available at Hedo was much more complicated than need be. We have decided that next year we will try to book a complete package through one of the major agencies we read about on this message board.

Thanks are due to Denny for the message board and to Chris for her book. We took advantage of both and it really helped with the success of our trip. We learned much.

Jamaica Air. A pretty good little airline. From a Delta Platinum Medallion member, these guys do a good job with customer service. They were much more attentive to their customers than Delta is even to its medallion flyers. When was the last time you had a warm meal in the coach section of a plane?

Travel from Montego Bay to Negril and back: Many folks advise you to take the bus ride. It was not nearly as bad as we read. We do not want to do it both ways, but for sure it is a good way to arrive at the resort already knowing some people. Now if you wanted to sit on the bus and not talk to the other people and not laugh and cringe and suck air over something you have never seen or done before, then the bus ride might should be avoided. It is possible that maybe if those things scare you, then the resort ought to be avoided in general. We enjoyed the bus ride. Our group was a little wild. The first joint was lit in the back of the bus (where all good "vinnies" are supposed to ride) early in the almost 2 hour trip. The stops to get beer and whatever else you want could have been reduced from 3 to 1, but then too the people on the bus were in charge.

Unfortunately, we were scheduled to leave from Montego Bay at 9:30am. Pretty much killed that day. We decided to take one of the puddle jumper planes to avoid having to leave the resort even earlier than the second round of people going to the hot tub. We would do that again. Different than what we read, there are more than two shuttle plane services. It looks like they are probably all alike. We couldn’t begin to tell you the name of the service we had.

Check In and Check out. Lets start with check out. It is simple. The note comes under the door on the night before and you just put your bags outside when you are supposed to, drop your keys off at the desk, and you are out of there. Check in is another matter. It would help if they had a computer. Lots of extra paper to sign, and then you get to wait till 3pm for your room. If you are new and have never been before, you find yourself sitting in the dining area wondering what is going on, while a couple of effeminate people, one female and one male, entertain you and attempt to make you feel at home. We had a hard time waiting to go get naked. Just be patient and remember "no problem mon".

Rooms We were ocean view nude. Our first room was 2212. Second floor looking out on the dive shop and a palm tree. No ocean. The first day we went back to the front desk and requested a room change and ended up in 2270. Good ocean and great views. The room you get is luck of the draw. It appears that checking in on a weekday is less congested and less stressful. Over the weekend we had friends from New Jersey that had considerable trouble even getting a room at the resort, let alone in the area that they had paid for. It seems that Hedo has a serious problem overbooking and then ends up with a number of unhappy, never to return, people. Fortunately for us, we were happy and will return. Number of previous stays does not seem to carry any weight. Folks on their 10^th and 12^th trip were surprised just as much as "newbies" to find themselves without a room.

Alcohol What can you say, other than there is more there than I could ever hope to or want to drink. It was not cool when on the first day there they ran out of beer. Red Stripe is not that bad. It is not as good as Bass Ale but it is a whole lot better than that rot gut stuff we Americans call beer - Bud, Coors, or Miller. Becky had a great time learning about some of the other drinks including Blow Jobs (not the real one), Dirty Bananas, Land Sharks (not the two legged kind), Humming Birds (not the toy), Purple Rain or is it Purple Haze? Or is it the drink formerly known as Purple Rain?

Sun It is good.

Beach The lying around part was great. The part associated with walking in the water was a major disappointment. Too many rocks. No white sand here. Seems that the smooth white sand beaches are in other places at Negril. It would be nice if it did not hurt your feet to try to walk to one of the floating docks. When you have loving on your mind, on a dock, under the moonlight and you loose your concentration because of stubbing your toe, it is a problem. Heed the advise, take water socks with you.

Pool, Swim Up Bar, Robert’s Grill, and the Waterfall The little cave behind the waterfall is pretty neat. Becky said I was crazy if I thought she was going to lay down in the cold water. So we just found a different way and place. It is good to be able to go at 6:00pm and get your jerk chicken, take it back to the pool, and sit with a bunch of newly made friends and tell jokes, discuss the state of the union, or just try to be cool. How many places are there where you can swim up to the bar and have a neat guy like Delroy fix your drink.

People This is the hardest part to write about. The only reason why you don’t meet people and make new friends is because you must already be dead. Our first night we ran up against a couple of cliques that made it really clear that they would not have anything to do with common folks that were not part of their precious circle. If that were to happen to you, don’t be deterred - just be sociable and keep meeting people. It would be so boring to go there and not meet people. We think we made some really neat friends. Friends from Colorado, Illinois, Canada, Texas, New Jersey, Maryland, Ohio, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Georgia, California, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Connecticut. What a melting pot! You have to be willing to walk up to somebody and say hello my name is... It just flows from there.

There was every shape, size and color of body there. That just meant that Becky and I fit in.

Hot Tub Good mixing place, but not for everybody. Though it is not wild continuous open sex, you will at times see things that might touch your sensitivities. The sex police were non-existent the first two nights and only moderately present on subsequent nights. If seeing some lady with a look of pleasure on her face sitting in somebody’s lap in the hot tub offends you then you should probably stay away. During our time there, only one evening was there so much heing/sheing and sheing/sheing and combinations thereof, that I hurt my neck trying to watch it all. The rest of the time the hot tub was just a good all around mixing place to meet and socialize with new found friends.

Becky says I have to talk about the food. Personally, I have had better. The Jamaican spices on everything got a little old after a while. Pastafari’s was good. Not nearly as slow as we had read. Fine dining is not to be rushed anyway. Their dinner is pretty good and should not be enjoyed leisurely. Becky says the fruits were good, the salads varied, and lots of interesting combinations like fish mixed in with your scrambled eggs.