We'd never been to Hedo, never been to a tropical beach, never been to an all- inclusive resort, never been to a foreign country, never worn togas, and never been married - but that was 9 months ago, shortly before I promised Denny in an email that I'd write a trip report (I forgot to tell him "soon come") (I also forgot to tell him "if I'm nostalgically drinking Appleton rum while writing this it could be a stream-of-consciousness trip report) (I just defiantly disabled Word's grammar police - the squiggly green lines were making my head spin).
I had read many trip reports and many messages on AOL's bulletin board. Kevin and I had both read Chris Santilli's excellent book The Naked Truth About Hedonism II. We were both excited and a bit nervous - my anticipation was somewhat marred by my worries about not liking the food (hey, I'm a true hedonist, and food is important!), giant tropical bugs running rampant, the "frat party atmosphere" I read about in one travel book, and whether it was a good idea to get married in a foreign country, sight unseen.
The wedding was great, and we even got the both the wedding pictures and the certificate mailed back to us in a timely manner. We got married barefoot on the beach, with a beautiful sea grape tree and a very turquoise ocean behind us. Our internet friends (met through Denny's visitor list) joined us and Gerry and Jacquie even videotaped it for us. Diane (MomFive0) entertained most pleasingly on top of the piano at the reception. When we returned to our room, we found flowers everywhere - spelling out "Congratulations" on the dresser, in the shape of 2 hearts in front of the door, in the bathroom, on the beds, and even in the toilet bowl! A gift bag on the bed contained 2 "just got hitched at Hedo" t-shirts, and soap and candles hand made in Jamaica.
The travel book's review was totally bogus - there were many atmospheres at Hedo (depending on where and when), but none that I would have described as frat-party-like. My favorite atmosphere was the lying-on-a-raft-in-the-sun- after-having-many-purple-rains atmosphere. Much better than lying on the beach, because of the waves. And if you put on a snorkeling mask and face downwards on the raft, the electric blue fish further enhance the experience. There was the dining-room-at-night atmosphere, which I thought was kind of magical, even at the end of the week. And the nude pool atmosphere - that defies description - you'll have to experience it yourself! Another favorite atmosphere was walking in between the room and the hot tub at night - the lighting, the trees, the tree frogs - it was wonderful. I loved walking through the grounds in the daytime, also - truly a tropical paradise, and very well maintained. There were more atmospheres there than I've ever had on a vacation!
There must be some first-timers from Northern climes like me out there concerned about large, possibly mutant tropical bugs. No? Ok, I've got a bug problem, all stemming from my first apartment, fresh out of the dorms in college. At Hedo, I saw one bug in our room - a tiny, lone, sluggish moth - not the aggressive, manic, hair-diving North American moth I'm used to, but a very mellow moth (perhaps he had sampled some of what was waiting for us in our safe….) And I stared in horror standing at the bar at Rick's caf while bees swarmed around the syrup bottles, but none of them bothered us (or the bartenders). We sprayed stuff that had deet in it on ourselves in the evenings, and that took care of the little flying things.
I liked the food. Some of it I even loved - the veggie quiche, the fish and fries at the nude beach grill, the vegetarian pizza (with green chiles!), the shrimp at Rastafari's, the almond waffles. Denva waited on us every night we went to Rastafari's, and the service was outstanding. Maybe we were there on a lucky food week, but I can't understand anybody complaining about the food there - there was such variety, and such abundance. And such an array of beverages to wash it down with! Kevin liked the Ting, and my favorites were the Purple Rain, Mudslide, Dirty Banana, Appleton & Coke, and of course Red Stripe.
I loved the bus trip from hell. I was unsuccessful at scoring a Red Stripe before boarding, but a very gallant and understanding gentleman gave me his. We did manage to get more beer shortly thereafter (due to the insightful arrangements of the same gentleman, a Hedo vet), and I was soon getting a closer look at the gorgeous coastline I'd spotted on the plane. Hint to other first-timers: pay attention to the scenery and your fellow travelers, not the driving, and you'll enjoy the bus trip. As the bus driver told us, "I trust in God, you trust in me."
I loved our room. Did I mention there was something for us in the safe? Another first for us was staying in a room with no TV - I loved it. We brought plenty of CDs, and were glad we did, although at night the tree frogs ruled. I liked the fact the room wasn't really fancy, because then we didn't feel bad tracking sand in.
After we had eaten lunch and settled into our room, we headed to the nude pool to meet our internet friends. I would advise the first-timer to start with the beach first and ease into the pool (after many drinks), unless you're a highly social person. Within the first 5 seconds of my arrival at the pool, I was in the pool, and tequila was being poured down my throat by a thong-clad activities coordinator who was holding the bottle at crotch level. I was still recovering from the long trip, and that was a bit much, enough so that we pretty much stuck to the beach for the rest of the vacation. The pool is really neat, though, and I was sitting there having a drink on the last day, looking out to the ocean, and vowing to spend a bit more time in the pool next year. Just a bit, though, because the beach is absolutely beautiful, and incredibly relaxing. At twilight the beach became fairly deserted, and was very romantic.
We did go on the nude cruise, and had a great time. If you haven't snorkeled nude, be sure to try it soon! The fish were beautiful and plentiful. When I first saw the many little jellyfish, I thought "wow, look at all the ethereal looking jellyfish, just like at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, but without the protective glass panel", and then I thought "eeeeeek! Jellyfish!!", but then I realized they were just babies and I relaxed (but kept my distance). It was my first time snorkeling, and I liked it so much I went on Hedo's snorkeling boat the next day (also enjoyable, but I would have preferred it without the bread crumbs - there were plenty of fish before they started mucking up the water with bread). We went on another cruise for half price later in the week, but it was a textile cruise. We were told by the crew that nudity was fine with them on ANY of their cruises ANYTIME, but I noticed that whenever we felt moved to shed any bits of our clothing the young folks next to us got a stunned, glassy-eyed look on their faces and then seemed suddenly engrossed in sipping their beverages. Since we had already been to Rick's, we stayed on board while the rest of the passengers disembarked, and Rasta Ralph sang us a special wedding song. On the way back to Hedo, we saw an incredible sunset.
We had been to Rick's earlier in the week during the "Negril Highlights" trip. Since the others who signed up for the trip didn't show up, they sent us in a cab. The cab driver (Jesse) dropped us off at the Sunshine Plaza - I spotted him a few minutes later taking a long draw from a bottle of Guinness Stout - apparently there is no open container law in Negril, so I walked into a shop and bought one for me and another for Jesse. I like Red Stripe just fine, but had been craving dark beer. We were then dropped off at a crafts market, where we found some really neat things, and had a truly interesting shopping experience. The merchants were highly persuasive, to say the least, so take plenty of money. If you like ankle bracelets, this is the place to stock up. Jesse then dropped us off at Rick's, where we did watch the sunset, and it was very nice. At first I didn't think much of Rick's, but after a couple of beers I started enjoying the atmosphere. When we got back to the cab, we discovered it was unlocked, but our purchases (including a huge quantity of coffee) were still there - so much for crime in Negril. Jesse returned shortly and took us by the Negril Lighthouse, where I enjoyed posing manfully in front of the large canon. By then we were very anxious to return to Hedo, and wondered why we had left paradise in the first place.
We did make one other brief outing, to the crafts market across the street from Hedo. At first it was fine, and we found some excellent buys, but as we got deeper in it got weird - a bit too much pressure (we were the only tourists there), and it didn't feel as friendly as the pressure at the market in town, so we left, the angry cries of the merchants we had skipped following us until we got to the main road. The crafts merchants on Hedo premises were also very persistent, but they were very friendly and mellow, and I found a very unique pareo and an ironwood carving (ironwood is the national wood of Jamaica, and it's really great, but few of the wood carvings are ironwood ). I also finally relented to the many hair-braiding solicitations I received. I enjoyed the braids (2 small ones), but it took my hair stylist 45 minutes to unbraid them a month later.
The PJ party and toga party weren't my favorite parts of the trip, but they were fun. Kevin was a finalist in the sexiest toga contest, and I think he would have won if the other contestants hadn't all been female, and the audience overwhelmingly male. There were many people there not in togas because the sheets weren't delivered to their rooms. We enjoyed checking out all the outfits at the PJ party, but it was way too hot and smoky in the disco, so we didn't stay long. Next year I'll take a nap before the PJ party.
We're heading back to Hedo for the next Go Classy nude week this May, to celebrate our first honeymoon - we added a couple of nights, hoping it won't be quite as sad when we have to leave. This time we hope to check out the piano bar, the wet t-shirt contest, and the body-painting contest. I plan to kayak more if I can find anybody to join me (Kevin won't - and a very patient internet friend named Dave went with me on our last full day, and I loved it and wished I'd tried it earlier!) I've been studying up on reggae, and I've even bought some reggae CDs, and I hope to experience more of the musical life of Jamaica. I'll also try to get the trip report done earlier this year.