April 30 - May 3
All the amenities in the world can't be enjoyed to the fullest unless you have the right group of PEOPLE to share them with...it is the PEOPLE that you meet at Hedo that complete the experience, an experience that Connie and I cannot wait to be part of again! This trip report is made possible by and dedicated to the following: Robin & Deb, Christy and Nick, Paul & Sharon, Walter & Phyllis, George & Helen, Granville & Brenda, Nick the single, the Hedo staff and countless others whose faces are etched in our minds forever, but whose names are currently out of reach.
Detroit 8:20 pm, plane delayed. Arrive Atlanta 11:30, run to make next plane, flight delayed to Lauderdale. Arrive Lauderdale 4:30 am "No problem mon!" Catnap in the terminal (one eye open watching the bags packed with the proper essentials as instructed by Chris). Board Air Jamiaca as scheduled at 8:00 am. Air Jamaica is a very nice airline with new planes and a very friendly staff. Next time we will do our best to fly AJ direct! Great flight with good food too! Arrive Mobay on time, short wait in Customs line, but "no problem mon!". Paperwork is in order (thanks to Lance at GO CLASSY!) and we are on our way to the SuperClubs Desk for bus departure. YES, we decided on the cultural experience of the bus! Next we were placed to the side to wait on the next Hedo bus, while the Breezes/Sandals/Couples group stared at us! We just smiled and let our "Hedo Pride" show on our faces. Just when we thought we were going to be riding alone, Walter and Phyllis joined us and immediately introduced themselves as part of Biff's Bunch. After a short conversation with them, Connie and I were even more comfortable and more excited about the days that lie ahead. I enjoyed the bus ride and the culture that was displayed before our eyes as we rode along, but the driver that you get has a big bearing on how much the ride can be enjoyed. We were supplied with Mario Andretti the Jamaican bus driver, so Connie described it as "the bus ride from hell!" and was green about the gills for the entire ride...(I will even admit that it was kinda scary) but we arrived in one piece and were dropped off at the lobby. Sorry, but we sailed right through registration without a glitch at all! No bumps, no wait for our room, nothing! Lucky? I guess. We registered at 12:30 in the afternoon on Friday...maybe a good time? Who cares! We were off down the yellow brick road to see the wizard (right Robin?) on our way to nude/gardenview 2162. Not beach view, but in the middle of the nude side, so close to all of the action. Oceanview may be preferred by some, but we were very happy with our location. We must have had a lucky streak going, cuz the room was very nice too. The air worked good, the CD player functioned properly, everything was in order (knock on wood)...well, we will get to the wood part later. Got settled in and off for a tour. Wait a minute...what about the Butt Crackers? Will we be heckled for touring in our clothes? We took the chance! Another stroke of luck I guess, cuz we (nor any others during our stay) were subjected to any comments at all. During the four days, we saw many people in various stages of undress and not one comment was made...it was nice! After the quick tour, it was back to the room to get beach ready. I (Kevin) was the first to don shorts and throw a towel over my shoulder, Connie decided upon a thong to start with. It didn't take long for either of us to conform (get naked) and feel VERY COMFORTABLE doing so, as we joined in on the nude beach.
The weather was great the entire time, the events were always a little behind their planned starting time (but no one seemed to care), the food was very good and plentiful (being open minded about trying different foods will help some people) and the presentation and display of the buffets was impressive! We recommend Pastafari's for at least one night. Again, maybe we got lucky, but our meal was good and the atmosphere (although a little warm in the restaurant itself) was very romantic. We chose to dine as a group for this meal, but it would also make a quiet, romantic dinner for two.
The alcohol was strong and plentiful for all that chose to indulge...Purple Rain and Mudslide ended up to be the favorite choices. There are also machines full of Strawberry and Pina Colada slush at each bar (some said that they contained alcohol and others swore that they didn't). Connie didn't care much for the Red Stripe, but many glasses of it were seen to be consumed by others around us. Red Stripe did come in handy for a friendly game of Butt Crack Beer Drinking in the Hot tub. All newcomers were initiated to catching a glass of "Stripe" in their mouth as it was poured over two lovely female butts placed end to end while "the beer drinker" lie underneath waiting! (just gotta remember not to breathe through your nose!) Now this was fun! Speaking of the Hot Tub..yes, we had Vinnies on guard during our stay also, but they were just identified, laughed about and then forgotten as we went about creating our own fun. Muff diving contests were held amongst the males versus the females while Nick the single watched the timer and refereed the happenings. Deb was the female champion TWICE!!! Married Nick was the male champion with Christy enjoying the victory! Handstands across the hot tub by Christy and Connie (The Hand Stand Queens as they are now affectionatley reffered to as) were thoroughly enjoyed by all! Oh, and the best pictures were snapped as we all took our turns dancing (some just wiggled a little, some more than others) on the misting pool fountain! YES, the sex police were out during our stay, but never really bothered anyone and those that chose to partake in the hot tub did so discreetly and without disrupting any of the other guests...RESPECT was the word of the day, every day. "Pond scum", as Nick (of Nick and Christy) referred to it, was seen to be floating and no one was quite admitting as to the cause of it (Paul tried convincing us all that it was just SPF 30!) but more than a few females tried to identify the guilty party. We tried talking a few females into a taste test for positive ID, but no one would take us up on the offer! All in all, the hot tub and pool was a blast and was enjoyed by all ages, shapes, and sizes alike with Delroy and his fellow bartenders always at the ready and pleased to serve.
We took the Saturday C/O catamaran tour and it was wonderful. It is an extra cost of $45 each, but well worth it! We had a blast and Rasta Ralphie provided the cultural entertainment that he is famous for. The 30 minute snorkeling stop was very nice with plenty of coral and small fish to be viewed and photographed. The Rum Punch onboard is VERY potent so you may want to ask for more punch than rum. Make sure and take some sort of clothing though, you will need to be clothed to visit the Pickled Parrot Bar or to use the rope swing or the slide...we took only towels and cameras, so we had to only swim around the caves while the boat rested in the water there. Again, the group and the friends that we made were what made the trip so much more fun! I strongly recommend a hat for the trip also. A tender scalp can absorb a lotta rays during the festivities onboard.
We also tried to partake of the FREE watersports that were available, but I soon found out that I am NOT a Hobie Cat skipper. After Devon's quick tutorial, I figured that we were gonna sail. WRONG! All I did was manage to ram the Hobie into the side of the Big Catamaran and then into the dock and the rocks! Needless to say, Devon was not happy with me. (Robin and Deb and Connie found the whole thing amusing though) *smile* We then opted for the solitude and simple navigation of the plastic canoes. Windsurfing and snorkeling was also available free of charge. Parasailing, deep diving, and jet-skis will cost a few extra dollars to partake.
The Body Painting was fun to be a part of! We all took our turn painting each other and then showed our "canvasses" for the judges in the pool, not taking the first prize but collecting a few Hedo bucks anyway. The paint, once dried, can be difficult to remove (ask Nick! Christy painted him into a pair of black shorts!) but the group shower and friendly exchange of rubbing hands makes the removal much more fun! The Hedo bucks are given as awards at various events and then are redeemable for souvenirs in the main dining room each morning.
Our stay was a short Friday to Monday, so we missed the PJ and Toga nights. Our days and afternoons and evenings consisted of relaxation and fun with the friends that we made. The floating docks make for a great sunning spot, but the rocks make for tough navigation getting to them. Connie spent our final morning in Rosie's famous chair...getting a braid creation placed in her beautiful blonde locks..something that all the females (and males with hair long enough) might want to try. The average charge is around $40 for her services. Word of warning...keep conditioner on the braids at all times! It will greatly assist in the hair not drying out and make removal a much more pleasant experience than it was for Connie and Christy. Special thanks go to Paul and Sharon for leaving the Naked Twister game for us to play. We never really got to partake though, opting for fun and froilc to Kenny G by candlelight instead....a night for us to remember forever! *smile*
A few more recommendations before we close this report: The path next to the aviary is a MUST for a night time "stroll" with your sweetheart. Take your favorite CD's along...they WILL come in handy! One may want to pack a portable boom-box for some added party music at the hot tub after the bar closes....the "rock band" (speakers in the fake rocks) playing reggae can get a bit old. Falling asleep in the hammocks near the Hot Tub will tend to leave some wild prints in your skin for a while that make for interesting conversation when you rejoin the group in the tub. Be careful when and where you doze off. Cans of silly string and shaving cream abound! If you happened to freckle when you tan, falling asleep in public is an invitation to all for a game of connect the dots on your unsuspecting butt with a permanent marker! Females, pack your sexiest dresses and wear them to dinner....anything goes for female dinner attire. It is true, UNPACK half of your suitcase before you leave home and you will have plenty of clothes! Be prepared, the water temp in the shower DOES fluctuate from hot to cold without warning. Take a few permanent markers for claiming and signing a rock in the garden outside your room. And if you see Robyn (entertainment staff), ask him how many licks it takes to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop that he is commonly seen sucking on!
As mentioned above, it is the people that really make Hedo the place that it is. It is true what they say...the friends made at Hedo will be friends for a lifetime and we are happy to have added a few very special friends of our own. We will be returning. (Connie would like to visit quarterly!) We would like very much to join Denny for WWW in December, but will definitely return in April/May 2000 for our reunion with the friends that we have made at Hedo (or Fantasy Island as we like to refer to it now, because it is a place where fantasies really do come true!)
Kevin & Connie Michigan