"A Tale of Two Hedos"
Trip Report – 5/20-27/99 – Kevin (htex@hotmail.com)
I will try to do this somewhat chronologically, but forgive me if I ramble, as the theme of this thing is more significant than the individual events (but not, of course, more important than the people).
THURSDAY 5/20 – TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!
Up before dawn for 7:00 A.M. charter flight from Dallas – fairly smooth, a little bumpy late in the flight. In 3 hours, I’m in Jamaica. Customs/Immigration is smooth. Onto the bus and on my way to Hedo (Aside: Whoever recently commented on this board that Black folks don’t go to Hedo much is wrong. There were a significant number of Black folks both on the bus and at the resort throughout my stay – good to see).
Arrive at the resort about 1:15 P.M. – no rooms until at least 3:00 P.M. – mass confusion at the front desk. Hedo definitely needs to computerize their reservations system to avoid delays and bumping.
Finally get a spot about 4:00 P.M. - Really glad not to be bumped. I don’t think anyone was bumped that day. Room is 2202, nude side no-mans land. A little too close to the disco, but that wasn’t a big problem. It was a little far from Delroy’s, and that got a little old.
Met Jamaica Jim soon after arrival, and later, his lovely wife Nina. Both are gracious and outgoing. I enjoyed my brief visits with both, throughout my stay.
At dinner, I had a good conversation with Clyde of Jamaica, by way of New Jersey. Fascinating man – enjoyed our visit.
Thursday night was, of course, Toga Night. This week it was OUTSTANDING. The guest talent show was well above average, the band was superb, and the Toga portion of the night was well handled and VERY energetic. I didn’t feel very tired even though it was my travel day. Toga Night was one of the two highlights of the trip. This is the one Hedo – inclusive, energizing, and downright fun.
FRIDAY 5/21 – GOOD TO THE LAST DRIP?
Thursday was a cloudy, somewhat rainy day. So was Friday. Drip, drip, drip most of the day. Held activities down but didn’t put them out. Met Liz from Wales, a delightfully outgoing individual who elicited smiles from virtually everyone.
At this point, let me explain my definition of the word "connection" in the Hedo context, as it is central to my theme. I define a "connection" as the establishment of a relationship where the individuals involved are a significant part of my vacation, and I a significant part of theirs. This occurs in degrees, and usually does not involve sex, but it can.
Had the timing been different, I might have been able to connect with Liz. She was nearing the end of her stay as I was arriving, making connection difficult. If you read this, Liz, would enjoy hearing from you by e-mail.
Special thanks to Bruce and Jane of TX for trying to help me connect on Friday. I hope you had a smooth and safe trip home Sat.
Later Friday, I finally meet my roommate, Justin from NH. This is another fascinating guy – been there, done that more in his 28 years than I ever will. On top of that, he’s easy to talk with. A nice connection there, and also, to a lesser degree, with Justin’s friend Candy and her sister, Mary, from CA. Candy and Mary are a lot of fun (certified wild women). We enjoyed the Friday night piano bar together.
The Friday night beach party and circus show was moved inside due to the weather. The performers did a creditable job, but the fire and "grim reaper" motif used doesn’t do much for me.
SATURDAY 5/22 – ZZZZZZZ
I take the Pickled Parrot cruise this A.M. We haven’t pulled more than 100 yards from the dock when the rain hits. Put something of a damper on the trip, even though it was not raining over at the PP. Although they sometimes advertise this as a nude cruise, it is really clothing optional. This time, only a few are nude, as the weather doesn’t help. To be honest, it got downright chilly at times on this trip. Rasta Ralph and the crew did what they could to make it pleasant.
The rest of the day at Hedo was pretty slow. Again, drip, drip, drip much of the day. I’m not making much in the way of new connections. This is the second Hedo – quiet, people playing it close to the vest, and not nearly as much fun as the other Hedo. I will go into my theories as to why I am experiencing this Hedo later.
One bright spot on an otherwise dull day – Delroy. He’s fixin’ to head out for the Jamaican Labour Day weekend – and he’s READY. He’s even smiling at the likes of me.
I skipped the Saturday night show – a nap seemed more inviting.
I’ll stop here and discuss the hot tub and security. It was a fairly quiet time while I was there – only one time when there were risqu games being played – and that at 6 P.M. Friday, of all times. There were only a few late night hot tub PDAs that I was present for, and the sex police stopped at least one of these fairly quickly. They didn’t stop any daytime PDA that I saw. What they did do will be discussed further when I get to my last full day – Wednesday.
SUNDAY 5/23 – THOSE LAZY, HAZY, CRAZY DAYS
This turns out to be the only rain free day, but it is cloudy, with only spots of hazy sunshine. Enough, however, to give me a decent upper back sunburn. After saying goodbye to Candy and Mary, I spend the day hangin’ with Earl and Susan from MO, Delbert and Suzie from MO, and Brian and Lori from OH. Thanks to these folks for letting me operate on the fringe of their orbit on Sunday- made the day a lot better than it might otherwise have been (Note to Delbert and Suzie – if you have an e-mail address, I would like to send you a private note).
The Sunday night Elvis show was decent – The Elvis impersonator was pretty good, but some of the surrounding elements were just average.
One personal note – Am I the only person at this resort who doesn’t smoke? The air in the dining hall/showroom got so thick with it toward the end of the Elvis show that I had to leave. Such things usually don’t get to that point with me, but it sure did that time.
I locate Bev and Suz from St. Louis at the hot tub late. Don’t get to visit with them much through the balance of the trip. Oh well, maybe over the net.
For several personal reasons, I decided to stay up all night Sunday. One of the reasons was to see what REALLY happens overnight at the place. The answer? – Not much, at least that night.
MONDAY – 5/24 – SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME, I’M TIRED AND I WANNA GO TO BED
Now, having stayed up all night Sunday, I knew that Monday would be a messed up day. Yeah, mon! After saying goodbye to Justin, I try to take a nap, but can’t sleep well. I go to the nude pool for a while, and then to lunch, so as to catch the wet t-shirt contest. Typical Hedo stuff – lick chocolate sauce off the participant, participant drinks shots from several sexual positions, etc. Girl from OH wins, I forgot her name. She worked hard doing the shots from sexual positions. She deserved the win.
After the wet t thing, they herd us over to the prude pool for a "special event." Turns out the special event is the pool olympics. Been there, done that sort of thing, so I’m beginning to feel like these guys are wasting my time. Go to take another nap, but soon am awakened by the sound of drilling – loud drilling.
Now stop and consider – this is a Jamaican National Holiday. And they are doing construction/maintenance work today? What’s up with that? More on this later.
After being awakened, I head for the nude pool. Soon, the principal PDA of the week takes place on a chair mat by the side of the pool, about 20 feet from where I am sitting.
I won’t use the nicknames I used in describing this couple to several people at Hedo. Such names are disrespectful, and if the couple in question reads this, I apologize to you.
Shortly after this, the sky opens up again. I head to the room to find that the drilling is still going on. This is the low point of the trip. I am not making "connections," it is pouring "liquid sunshine," and they are making enough noise to wake the dead. I won’t say "I wanna go home!" but this isn’t what I paid for.
I didn’t stick around for the Jamaican Night show. Been there, done that. To bed fairly early, as you might imagine.
TUESDAY 5/25 – DON’T YOU WORRY --- ‘BOUT A THING ---- EVERY LITTLE THING’S – GONNA BE ALL-RIGHT!
Weather is finally showing some signs of improvement – as the week is coming to an end. I take the Pickled Parrot cruise again – at a discount because I went Sat. This time there’s better weather, more nudity (a slight majority). Several folks are engaging in semi-erotic to erotic massages/masturbation. Generally, a better time than Saturday.
Shortly after returning from the cruise, the skies open up again. Oh, well. Soon after their arrival, I make contact (and to some degree connect) with the Jacksonville bunch – Donny, Kitty, Betty, and Dianne. With their Internet printout in hand, I get the main bar to prepare "Coco Locos" for them. Neither the main bar, nor the prude beach bar knew how to do this. The main bar got there from the instructions. The prude beach bar did not.
Most of the rest of the afternoon is rainy, again putting a damper on things.
The evening show is the Battle of the Sexes – a sort of fun scavenger hunt where you have to deliver the item before the other sex does to win. Some very interesting items, such as pierced body parts, largest boobs, etc. Fun if you’re in the spirit.
Later was the PJ party. They didn’t like my shtick, so I won’t bother describing it. Attended this with the Jacksonville bunch. I must say, that group was very nicely adorned. I didn’t realize that the entrance to this event was such a photo op. Maybe another time.
WEDNESDAY – 5/26 – LAST DANCE, LAST CHANCE FOR -- ? –
Finally- a decent weather day. I have a pleasant visit with Al of NY and briefly visit with Jim and Sandy of MI. Participate in the crazy t-shirt contest – no big deal.
The second highlight of the trip (where the first Hedo finally makes a return appearance) is the wedding of Patrick and Lisa on Wed. afternoon. A lot of emotion and warm feelings at this event. Several very special memories from this time. All the best to the newlyweds.
Wed. was Chinese night/Casino night. I might suggest that visitors plan on making this their Pastafari night (Italian restaurant that is alternative to the dining hall – by reservation only). I skipped Pastafari. Another good idea would be to make this the night to sample the local restaurants off property. There are some good ones down Seven-Mile Beach, as I understand. I haven’t tried them.
THURSDAY 5/27
Getaway day is smooth and pleasant – ‘nuff said.
MISCELLANEOUS
Food in general was pretty good, and plentiful, as always. Omelets were great. Steaks were surprisingly good. Nothing was gourmet, but most things were more than acceptable. Chinese night, well, see above.
Water temp problems continue, but not unmanageably. ‘Nuff said.
There seemed to be more single ladies and fewer Vinnies than usual this time, but I don’t know for sure, as most of these seemed to stick to the prude areas most of the time.
I wrote about the sex police aspect above, but there was one odd aspect to security. They were very inconsistent and, IMHO, misguided in their application of the need to be nude in the nude section. One time, I was asked to remove my t-shirt when I had nothing else on. What’s up with that? More disturbingly, one evening a group was in the pool area and one of the ladies was slowly getting comfortable with removing her swimsuit. The others in the group were nude. The lady getting comfortable was not gawking or creating any kind of problem for anyone. I did not directly witness the incident, but apparently, the security insisted that she remove her suit immediately. She and her group left the area, instead. They were, of course, upset, as were some other folks – so much so that the night manager was called to complain. This was strange, as they would let others come through the area fully clothed and not say a word. Go figure.
CONCLUSION—WHICH HEDO IS YOURS?
Overall, I had some difficulty "connecting" with people this trip (see above). There are several factors that may have contributed to this:
The weather was less than ideal (could be a small part of the reason)
The people in attendance were a little less outgoing than the usual Hedo bunch (that’s possible, but I doubt it, as Eric, a nine time Hedo vet, seemed to have no trouble "connecting")
My own weak social skills held me back (this is the probable majority cause)
So, should a single male, such as myself, consider a Hedo vacation?
Yes, but be aware that if your social skills are weak, you will be dependent on others outgoing personalities to provide "connections," if that’s important to you. I expected more, perhaps too much, this time because I had it last time, thanks to Jeff and Loretta of GA.
Oh, and by the way, single guys – read Chris Santilli’s book (see the message boards on the dennyp web pages) and don’t expect to get laid at Hedo. The reality is that only the "pick of the crop" has a significant chance of accomplishing that, and even at that, it’s very iffy. But that doesn’t mean you can’t "connect." There are more outgoing personalities that come to Hedo than to virtually any other vacation spot on the planet. So take stock of your social skills, go, and judge for yourself.
For most single girls – you will find it easier to "connect" at Hedo because there are, as is well-documented, more single guys than girls at Hedo. Enjoy your advantages, but be cautious, and remember that a firm, but polite "no" will generally defuse undesired attention. On the RARE occasion when it doesn’t, try to get among other folks for help, just as you would at home.
Couples, Hedo is built for you. Go, and enjoy.
In conclusion, the first Hedo is there pretty much for the taking for most single girls and couples. Single guys (and girls who are not physically attractive) can usually achieve the first Hedo by displaying some polished social skills and by having patience. The second Hedo, as disappointing as it can be, is worth it if it leads you to the first.
So, will I return to Hedo? Possibly, but for now, my time and money is better spent improving my social skills and getting my house better in order.
And so, it is done. I hope I haven’t offended anyone, either here or while I was at Hedo.
If you have opinions to express, please feel free to e-mail me. Thanks, and have fun
Kevin