Getting to Hedo was a blast and being there was…awesome. We’ve been on some great vacations, but now we have found more than a vacation spot. We’ve found a home.
I browsed the web looking for a resorts in Jamaica. When I first stumbled across Hedo, I passed it by saying, "Oh, hell….they have a nudist beach….Patty would never go for that." Then I printed up information on several other resorts in Jamaica. I showed them to Patty claiming, "Hey look Patty, all the resorts in Jamaica have nude beaches. But we don’t have to go nude because we can stay on the prude side". I stumbled on the Go Classy Tours web page and asked them for a quote on the Prude side of Hedo. Oh, what the hell, give me a quote for both sides of the resort (just for comparison purposes).
"Hey look Patty, the nude side is cheaper." I was shocked when she agreed to staying on the nude side, but her condition was that we wouldn’t be going nude. In order to get familiar with the resort, I ordered "The naked truth about Hedonism II" from Amazon.com (a great book for a virgin). It arrived a few days later. When Patty first opened it and saw naked pictures, her mouth dropped. She ran into the bedroom and started reading it behind locked doors. After reading the book, Patty somehow convinced herself that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to stay on the nude side, after all. This thought lasted until we were on the TimAir shuttle to Negril. By then, she was wondering how to tell me that she wasn’t stepping out of the room naked. Little did we know at the time, that all her sisters had a betting pool as to how many days she would stay locked in her room. I was counting the drinks that I would have to fetch Patty before she would come out of the room "with" clothes on.
Our room wasn’t ready and we were invited to wait in the dining area. A Wet T-shirt contest was in progress. Everyone was having such a great time that we couldn’t help but get excited about the adventures lying ahead. Our room was ready within a half-hour. When we entered the room (just above the volleyball net), we both made a bee-line to the window to see how many people where nude on the beach. All of them, so much for clothing optional!!! Now was the time of reckoning. With no alcohol in our systems, we walked out of our room. We headed to the beach and instantly met some of the great people from some group called the WWW. Why hadn’t we heard of this group before…shame on Go Classy Tours for not mentioning it.
We lost all inhibitions of being naked within the first few minutes of being at the beach. We were having such a great time. We spent most of Monday evening in the Hot tub meeting more people including the greatest, John & Connie (you two, along with Chris & Sue and Joe & Cheryl really made our trip the ultimate experience).
By Tuesday morning, Patty hated having to stand in line for the Catamaran Cruise "with" clothes on. She had them off as soon as she stepped foot on the boat. The trip to Pickled Parrot was great. Enjoyed talking with Conrad and Lisa, met some other great people and shared more laughs. Sorry Dave had to step on a sea-urchin, but the first aid treatment was priceless to watch. Two golden showers turned into the Sahara Desert due to the 25 cameras waiting for first drop. Finally, some relief was provided.
By Tuesday night, Patty was getting real uncomfortable having to put clothes on for dinner. She had to devise a way to keep our clothes off for the rest of the evening. She came up with the idea of painting our pajamas on our bodies. Being the Hedo virgins that we were, we never figured on getting 1st place prize for the most revealing pajamas. Could have never imagined that we would stand on stage in front of a packed Disco totally nude.
Patty woke me up on Wednesday morning and I saw that she had lost her voice (from laughing so much during our first two days at Hedo). All I could think to say was, "What a great day it is at Hedo". We decided to make Wednesday our slow relaxing day. We sat in the Hot Tub all day…until they kicked us out for cleaning. Chris (aka Bill Clinton) & Sue, John & Connie, Patty & I, Smiling 57, and a few others that I can’t remember decided that we weren’t finished swimming yet, so it was time to raid the Prude pool. The prude pool was closed too, but fortunately the prude hot tub was open. To this day, I swear that they turned up the heat in the tub to get us out. The mistake was that the heat just make us thirsty and Smiling 57 led us in a congo line to the bar in the main dining area. No drinks for nudes? What’s up with that???
Only thing left to do was to check out the rumor of there being windows in the prude pool that allowed swimmers to be visible from the disco. Well, we couldn’t resist the temptation, so we decided to check it out…from the pool side. Heard some cheering from within the bar, but don’t know what that was all about.
On Wednesday and Thursday afternoons, we went to the little shacks a block outside Hedo for some shopping. Enjoyed the first three or four shops, but then we were being mauled by the rest of the vendors asking for us to look at their shops. Respected them to much to say no, so we went through all 20-30 shops. Only bought from two, but the rest of the vendors appreciated the opportunity to try and sell us something. We had only seen a few wood carvings of a wooden duck in all the shops, so when we returned on Thursday (with John & Connie), we used that information to our benefit. We told the vendors we would only be visiting the shops with wooden ducks. No hassles from any vendors. We really found how kind Connie was during this shopping trip. She did a great job bargaining for some necklaces and bracelets. After she wore the vendors down to agreeing with her price, she told John to pay them more. She couldn’t have been happier with her purchases; even the ankle bracelet that kept falling off.
Thursday night was Toga party. We missed all the Toga tying demonstrations, so we had to use our imagination. I couldn’t figure out how to tie a damn Toga, so I decided to put a small toga on my cock (rooster) and call it a night. Patty had a hard time with the Toga, too. She ended up missing all the cover up zones. I sure wasn’t going to point out her fallacy; she looked too good. I started wondering if this was really the same girl that was planning on hiding in her room with her clothes on all week!!!
Now, let me put some rumors to rest. I did not plan on entering the couples contest with the other cock. Shaka and others dragged me up on the stage. Once up there, I felt obligated to provide the cock fight that everyone had been asking for throughout the night. Although the crowd seemed to like it by awarding the two cocks the best couple award, I still think Dan and Jen deserved the award. Sorry guys!!! The gods did punish us by knocking down the stage prop. Lucky no one was hurt. The Hedo staff were sure relieved!!!
We were really sad when we had to leave on Friday. Also wasn’t prepared. Didn’t have one dry shirt to my name. Did a quick wash on one early in the morning. Figured it would dry sitting in the sun all day. That is when I learned a good lesson on humidity (I’m from California, we don’t have humidity here). After 6 hours in the sun, it was as wet as ever. Thanks Joe and Cheryl for letting me use the hair dryer in your room.
Our only regrets: 5 days just isn’t near enough time at Hedo. We’ll be making it 10 days next time; Should have taken pictures; Not knowing about WWW before the trip (missed out on the Wed. Catamaran trip due to that mistake); Not getting Patty into the grotto (but the beach and window seat was great); Not getting a chance to break Chris’ record of 63 seconds on muff dive. Patty strangled me right around 2 seconds. I almost drowned; Note to self for future reference…get permission before attempting muff dive.
Last regret…Not trying a trip like this before.
With nothing but the greatest love for all we met at Hedo,