CW

TRIP REPORT June 19-26, 1999

This trip report will take more of an outline than a narrative form. Just seemed more appropriate.

GETTING THERE: Air Jamaica was mostly on time from Atlanta to Mo Bay, customs and immigration were no problem. It seemed like they took the luggage off the plane by hand, so it took a while to get that. Short (10 minute) wait at Super Clubs desk and long walk across the parking lot got us on the bus. One guy “forgot” to tip the guy who carried the bags, so the porter boarded the bus and cussed the fellow out. Thought they were going to come to blows over it. Bus ride was not bad (at least I thought so). Others hated it. I hated check in and wait for room much more. GETTING NUDE: Before going my wife and I debated on whether or not we would have the nerve to go to nude side, and if so, how much time would we spend there. Not to worry. Naked within an hour of arrival and spend 60 percent of waking time on that side. DEMOGRAPHICS: It seemed to be about 90 percent U.S., 5 percent Canadian and 5 percent other (U.K., South American, Jamaican etc.) on resort our week. Also maybe one-third married couples, one-third unmarried couples and one-third singles. Singles were evenly split between men and women, it seemed. Ages were from 20s to 70s. Most were 30-45. There were a lot of couples where man was 15-20 years older than girl. VINNIES/WALLIES: From what I saw the entire week, these two creatures are not that big of a problem. Saw just one person who was certainly a wally. Spotted plenty of Vinny candidates in dining hall but they did not make it to nude side and did not bother others, so I wonder if they really qualified. But that is not to say everyone was a blast to be around. There was one guy who wanted to argue with entertainment coordinators about everything from rules to the silly games to the music. PUBLIC SEX: Sure you saw it, but it was 95 percent below the water line in the hot tub late at night. Very little of the open romping I read about in other trip reports. FOOD: Good and plentiful, but not a high point of the trip. Ketchup at both main dining hall and beach bars was awful. Fruit and salads were pretty good. Avoid soups. Italian restaurant seemed out of place on resort, but food and service were good. BOOZE: Plentiful, tasty and potent. Just watch out for surly bartenders. Service from female bartenders was much worse than from male bartenders. ENTERTAINMENT/GAMES: Varied from awful to side-splitting. Be careful you don’t get too caught up in after-lunch or after-dinner games. They add about two hours to your meal and can take up a lot of beach time if you let them. All-in-all had fun watching and participating in games. Wet T-shirt was disappointing. I guess if you have seen these young ladies running around naked for a day or so, seeing them dance in wet clothing just isn’t a turn-on. Battle of Sexes and beach games were a blast. If you don’t want to lug booze back with you, prizes are mostly lame. PJ NITE: probably the biggest disappointment of the week. I love sexy lingerie, and would have hoped that this would be a highlight. But people who have been running around naked seemed to have no desire to dress sexily, so they dressed silly. TOGA NITE: Skipped it SNORKELING: Loved it and wished we had tried it earlier in the week. ROOMS: Basically what the brochure says. CALENDAR GUYS: While we were there Hedo was picking guys for next year’s Ultimate Man of Hedo Calendar. These guys were mostly a royal pain in the rear (See below), but a few of them were nice to talk to. A couple held court in the men’s room discussing what substances they took to bulk up. ORGANIZED GROUPS: Only one I saw was a bunch called the Energizer Bunnies who arrived just before we left. They seemed to be only loosely organized and complained that the tales from the book didn’t materialized before their eyes. NUDE BEACH PROBLEMS: Saw lots of clothed and semi-clothed people on the nude beach. Didn’t bother me one bit. Only saw two incidents of words exchanged over this the whole week, and both were within an hour of each other. The first involved three or four attractive 20-something girls who sat down topless and began to sun . A group of older men (50ish) started joking with them, then pleading. The girls walked off, so I assumed they got tired of it and left. Half an hour later I went to the nude bar, and there they sat in the nude tub with the older guys who were wearing the girl’s bottoms around their necks like trophies. The second didn’t end nearly as pleasantly. One of the calendar guys headed down the nude beach fully clothed right when a volleyball game was starting. I was about 100 feet out in the water, so I didn’t hear how it started, just a lot of yelling with the calendar guy telling them the rules didn’t apply to him before he stalked off. Some minutes later he headed back ( I had left the water to watch volleyball by this time). One of the volleyball players asked him if he had enough to eat when he reached the court. He stopped, pointed at the entertainment coordinator running the show (Shaka, I think) and said “There would have been no problem if this bitch didn’t open her mouth,” before continuing on his way. I was surprised there was not a bigger blow up over that. PEOPLE: Throw out the calendar guys and a few others, and everyone we met was wonderful. Made a few new friends, but mostly had a wonderful time with each other. OTHER HIGH POINTS: Watching Larry from Chicago enjoy himself and all the booze his ample stomach would hold. ... Watching the one true beach slut try to enjoy herself “All these men are happily married, why can’t I find one who is unhappily married?”... Playing pool with entertainment coordinators who didn’t feel the need to put on their stage persona ... Watching young kids mellow as the week passed OTHER LOW POINTS: Everybody smokes it seems... Drug dealers who sit right off the beach and bother everyone... Music in disco really sucks... Beach seemed a little dirty. Really a fun trip. Best thing to remember is you have to have your own fun, nobody can do it for you.

From: CW