Hedo Trip Report May ‘98

A bit late, but hey, better late than never....

This was our 2nd trip to Hedo and it just keeps on getting better and better. First off, we won’t go into the usual routine "trip report". If you don’t already know about the flight, Mobay, the bus ride, etc, etc., there are several excellent reports here that can give the low-down on Hedonism’s layout. We would like give our take on the "Hedo experience" and hope that it will inspire others to take the plunge and go.

First off, why you don’t go to Hedo. You don’t go for the rooms (nice, not luxurious, but clean and well-kept). You don’t go for the food (good, not excellent, but an abundant variety). You don’t go to Hedo if you think you’re going to get away with only one visit ( you’ll be back, count on it). And you don’t go for "rest & relaxation" ( R & R at hedo takes on a totally different meaning) OK, why you DO you go to Hedo; the atmosphere, camaraderie, the friends you have met before and the friends you haven’t met yet. The most excellent staff this side of heaven. The ability to do absolute nothing or everything your little heart desires. You can perfect the art of being a sea-slug or a satyr. You can party 24 hours a day or lie motionless on the beach all day. The Hedo Paradox: The most relaxing and frenetic vacation we ever took was at Hedo at the same time! And of course the main reason you go to Hedo is simple: Nude Beach, Nude Pool, Nude Hot Tub, Nude Body Painting, Nude Games by the Nude Pool, Nude Hamburger Stand (you get the picture). Anyone who tells you otherwise is full of crap. Hedo was, is and (hopefully) will always be the place where you can the most fun with your clothes off! If you spend your entire trip one the prude side, save your bucks and go to Sandals or Club Med. The Hedo Experience is the Nude side. If that isn’t your cup of tea, stay home.

Ok, about the Nude side. You don’t have to have to be a hard body to go. Most people there aren’t. The average age on the Nude side is about 40. The prude side is for the 20 somethings and the Vinnie’s. It’s also about the dullest place on Earth. Just for the hell of it, take a walk down to the prude beach about 3:00 in the afternoon (Hey!, put that suit on first!) Remember you are leaving a beach and pool filled with happy, naked people, perhaps a body painting contest, pumping Reggae music, maybe a game or two of naked twister, and other sundry events. First thing you notice is how empty it is, and how quite it is. What do the singles and Vinnies do during the day? As your head begins to reel and you feel faint, turn around and get thee to the nude beach!

If you have never been to a nude beach or resort before, being a bit apprehensive is understandable. Our first trip to Hedo was our first time nude in public and we weren’t quite sure how we would handle it. Well, after about 10 minutes on the beach, our bathing suits were off and we never looked back. Once we realized that we weren’t the only naked people on the beach (well, DUH!) and no one was really staring at us, it became the most natural thing in the world.

A word or two about a nude resort. Most people have two major misconceptions about a nude resort in general and Hedo in particular. One, like we said earlier, is that all the people are either playboy bunnies and studs. Wrong. While the majority of folks at hedo are very pleasant to look at (and we do look) there are those who really aren’t at their best naked. Ages range from 18 to 81. All sizes, shapes and weights. But the folks at Hedo are never ones to judge. They are the friendliest group of people we have ever met anywhere. We have made life-long friends at Hedo, and never are short of being amazed how friendly an atmosphere it is regardless of your physical appearance. At 40 years of age you have the maturity to accept people for who they are not what they are. So, don’t worry, you do just fine. Here’s a Hedo Tip ‘O the Day: If you go nude, shave the pubes! (men & women!) Most do, and it is so much more attractive. A tasteful "V" or racing stripe for the gals and a shiny, shaven scrotum for the men and you good to go! Hedo Tip ‘O the Day #2: Before you go to Hedo, go to a tanning palor! One, you’ll save yourself from a nasty sunburn, especially in those places where the sun don’t normally shine, and two, you’ll look and feel a whole better about yourself as you prance about butt-nekkid! A big ‘ol hairy bush and shiny white ass aren’t the most pleasant attributes of ones self.

Second Misconception: Ahh, the dreaded three-letter word: SEX. When people hear you are going to go to Hedo they respond with either a smart-ass remark or an arched eyebrow. They think that Hedo is nothing but a non-stop orgy and swinger’s paradise. Well, they are both right and wrong. Hedo can be whatever you want it to be. We have never been there during a "lifestyles week" so we really can’t report on how the resort is at those times. However, if the idea of laying on a Caribbean beach nude with your husband, wife, girlfriend, whatever is NOT sexy, than you’re dead from the waist down. Hedo oozes sex, enhances sex, makes ya wanna fuck! Most of the couples at Hedo are regular, normal married folks looking to put a little spice in their lives and Hedo does that job very well. You can make love on the beach at midnight under a full moon with the warm Caribbean lapping all around you. And if someone happens to see you, guard or guest, they’ll just smile to themselves and move on. You can play with each other in the grotto and receive a warm round of applause afterward. And yes, you can join in on many "group activities" but a simple "No, thank you" does the job. Most of the time the sex outdoors is discreet and it is Hedo’s policy to keep it that way. Although there is a little voyeur in all of us, most guests prefer it that way too. Reports of the "Sex Police" at the hot tub at night range from "Nazi-like enforcement" to "not even noticeable". We suppose it depends who’s on guard duty.

Not a day goes by that you probably won’t get hit on. My wife was propositioned three times. By women! We were in the Disco and were approached by a man who asked if my wife would care to dance with his wife. She was Brazilian and did not speak English and was an absolute knockout! To my great disappointment, she politely declined. Damn! Another chance to turn fantasy into reality shot to hell! Of course, just like the real world, they are some jerks who have a hard time with the word "no". But most things work out to be a lot of fun. We were in the piano bar with four other couples we had become friendly with, having a great time. Afterwards we headed down to the hot tub (the normal nightly procedure at Hedo). As we all gathered in the hot tub, one of the woman got a float from the side of the poo, laid down on it and floated into the center of our group. The three other woman were on her like leeches at a blood-fest. Nothing overtly sexual, just one sucking her toes, one sucking her tits and one engaged in a deep soul kiss with her. I was sitting next to the husband of the toe-sucking woman, and he motioned for me to play with her pussy and ass. Being the gentleman I am, I accepted. Great fun until the guards broke it up (in a nice way). Afterwards, one couple suggested we go back to their room to "shoot the shit". Well, not being swingers, we got cold feet. Maybe next year. (Aw, gee, honey can’t we just watch?)

Despite the sexual overtones at Hedo, you will rarely see public displays of affection during the daytime or in the Dining Room, Piano Bar and other general areas. But does happen. If this "offends" you, keep it to yourself! Nothing pisses us off more than people who run to the management to complain the are "offended" at such behavior! Grow the fuck up! People like that will ruin Hedo for the rest of us. If you must complain, complain to your travel agent who probably misled you about Hedo in the first place. This isn’t Sandals, Couples, etc. this is a playground for Adults. Just chalk it up to experience and don’t bother to come again.

Ok, I’m off the soap box for now. Our week in paradise was just that, paradise. We met friends from our first trip, made new friends who hope to see again and are counting the days until we go "home" again.