TRIP REPORT 12/26/98 - 1/2/99

Having "been" Hedovirgins we can now say that we have now lost our perverbial Hedocherry! Before getting into the meat of our report, Rick has an important message for any of you that have booked your trip to heaven through this particular travel agency in Wilmington, Delaware.

Having decided to be married and both of us having previously done the formal thing we searched for our bit of paradise to be married at sunset on the beach. Rick's son had purchased a travel voucher through an auction held by the John Howard Society which provided air fare for 2 anywhere Air Canada flies. Problem was you had to use the Travel Card Centre in Wilmington, Delaware and for inexpensive trips one had to stay in one of their select hotels. Hedo was not one of those hotels. By the time all of the extras were added the trip ended up being about $2,000 (Cdn) more than if we had booked direct with Air Canada Vacations (I thought the air part was supposed to be free). We were looking forward to finding out exactly what our room cost for the 7 days of anticipated heaven. We were booked and ticketed in July for our New Years trip. About three weeks prior to our trip we checked the Air Canada Web site to check if our flights remained the same - guess what - our originating flight from Halifax no longer existed. Air Canada told us that although they had our names there was no itinerary for us. PANIC! They said we had to check with our travel agent - called the Travel Card Centre and they said everything we booked was confirmed and told us to call Air Canada and gave us the locator number - MORE PANIC! - Called Air Canada again and reached Jason - what a trooper! - He explained that because the travel agent had not confirmed our ticketing by the end of October they cancelled our reservations on November 5th. "Agh" Jason kept Rick on the line to see if he could fix the problem but flights in and out of Jamaica (only one a day) were very busy this time of year. We remained on hold for a good 2 hours with Jason constantly checking back with us. He called our agent to advise them of the reasons for the problem and to point out their electronic message advising of the latest date to confirm ticketing. Jason returned to the phone a last time with some good news and really good news. We were able to travel to Jamaica on our scheduled day (good news); however, he was unable to confirm any return flight (the really good news) unless we wanted to return on December 31st - yeh right! He said that he has made a request to Central Routing to put us on a flight January 2nd (our scheduled return date), but he was not optimistic as the flights were all sold out and we had to call in 3 days to find out about our return flight. This whole process took an entire morning out of a very busy day and cost us lost revenue (we are both self-employed professionals). We called Air Canada again and had to explain our problems once again to another agent - on hold again for 2 hour while she sorted out the problem of classification - she finally confirmed we were on the flight January 2nd but no seat assignment and suggested we be at the airport 2-3 hours in advance of flight - yeh right! We've learned our lesson on promotional trips and never again will use the services of the Travel Card Centre (We're sending them a copy of this portion of the trip report as well as a copy to the John Howard Society).

I would imagine that the rest of my report will be unorganized but will highlight the "best" of each day there.

Getting on our first flight (at Halifax) was uneventful on the 26th... thankfully! But unfortunately I had one small upset at the Toronto airport going through the x-ray machine. Yes, my bag containing all of the PJ night paraphernalia (valued as much as Henry's dog what!) Was x-rayed and then the security looked a bit upset. "Come over here" they say. Lo and behold they ask us to open our bag... "Oh no! Not my handcuffs!!!!" Yes they called them "restrictive weapons". I guess they thought I had something "funky" in mind for the pilot? Oh well as long as they didn"t take my Henry!!!! (smile) Finally boarded flight to JAMAICA! As soon as the plane took off we were delivered two bottles of champagne for being "honeymooners". What a way to fly!!!! Upon our first customs endeavour - Welcome to Jamaica! The lines were so-o-o long, but eventually we were ushered to the line for Jamaican citizens.. Great! We went through from there, no problem mon!

AIRPORT AT JAMAICA - For any of you going for the first time - keep in mind that there are MANY Jamaicans willing to help you in any way. "Where you want to go mon?" were the first words we heard. Of course while waiting for our ride to Air Negril, we were offered Red Stripe Beer (please indulge yourself people 2 for $5.00US - so so good!) and of course, ganja but we declined.

For newcomers taking Air Negril (our next stop) TAKE IT! It's quick (15 minute flight - the sooner you get there the BETTER!) Our pilot Ian from Canada was full of fun, very professional and always turned around and gave us a thumbs up! He found out I was a pilot as well, so I made sure he had filed a flight plan! (Smile) Landed at airstrip and getting a ride to Hedo is not a problem mon... look for the guy sitting on his verandah reading a magazine - he was more than happy to take us down the road for $5us. Then we are at our paradise! (Henryyyy - I'll get to you promptly...my fingers are flying to get to the "good stuff" (smile))

Pull up to front of Hedo! We are welcomed with hugs and kisses and what we have been waiting to hear "Welcome home mon" from "sweaty Tony"!. Soon enough we realized this will now be known as our second home! CHECKIN - No problem, mon! Got keys and we off to our room in no time, and mon would bring us our luggage shortly. As he said, we were in our room about 5 minutes and the luggage was there. Couldn"t wait to take our clothes off and enjoy the sun! First view of nude Hedo was when I opened the curtains to see that we were all of 5 feet from nude beach, and as I looked around there was body painting (looks like soooo much fun!) going on, and everyone else enjoying their drinks at the bar, with Scumba handing out Dirty Bananas and Purple Rains (ya mon, my fav!) and lounging and/or "floating".

Went to nude beach for awhile, but having not found our Internet friends (Hi Horatio, Laurie, Henry and Maurie) we decided to go have a walk around grounds. Damn, I have to put clothes on! Checked out all the shops (duty free, perfumes, souvenir, and Hedo souvenir shops), and then found our first "salesman" on walk over to prude beach (probably my last walk there). Met rasta mon selling wood carvings! "I give you special deal, today only mon". Remember newcomers to NEGOCIATE! A wonderful tool to learn as it does save you some $$$$. Went up to prude pool, and met some "cool" guys Doug, Tim and Simon. Ended up spending time with them as we were constantly laughing. A pleasure to meet you all. (And yes Doug your picture will be in the mail shortly.... remember to make the story GOOD!). NOTE: for single guys - after talking with these guys remember to come to Hedo with no expectations. Enjoy yourself but don't expect to get women flocking to you daily... if you're a voyeur you can always laugh at the goings on in the hot tub at night, but just learn to have fun. You never know what might happen at Hedo!)

Some notes on food: PASTAFARI'S is great if you don't smoke, and like a more formal, quiet setting. (For those of you that don't know Rick and I got married on the nude beach and went to Pastafari's for our wedding meal with those famous other two couples, and there certainly was one night when Pastafari's was NOT formal and quiet! More on that later.) Food was good though and there always was an antipasto bar to wet the appetite. Hint: Try their shrimp, it's excellent! MAIN DINING ROOM - Service is great, especially young Delroy!! He has to be the happiest young man we've met and so willing to help! (Irie, Delroy!) The food was always more than what I expected, but being a past "hedovirgin" I guess I just got blown away by what was offered. Plenty of variety and lots of it. I must say that the lobster tails on New Years eve were I wonderful treat! THE NUDE GRILL - Robert (the head chef) is awesome. Please make sure you have some of his "jerk chicken" at 6 pm. Great Great food! (Robert: Rick and I hope they fixed your fan, mon!) Wonderful lunches at well. THE NUDE BAR - Scumba and Delroy are legends!!!! Scumba smiles and takes care of all your livation needs. Thanks for the Purple Rains Scumba!

ENTERTAINMENT: The lunch time games are good. (Some are a lot of fun, right Henryyyy?) You may entertain yourselves by a wet t-shirt contest (more on that later!), and of course the male version of that (which we were not interested in), naked twister, find your mate, clinics in juggling, trapeze, squash, tennis, and so on. Basically what ever your little heart desires you can learn, experience, or take part in at Hedo! (My 3 favs would have to be playing with Barney (Henrys floatation device!) in the water (Irie, Henryyyy!), the wet t-shirt contest (although I was coerced into it....) and finding things for Henry to look at!(smile) "Turn the fuck around Henry". Yes that is one truthful statement that Henry made in his report. AND IT WORKED! Whenever Laurie or I would see something that Henry would "like" to see we would say this statement. Mind you we were very quiet while doing this! (Smile). Ok, ok, the wet t-shirt contest. Well because I am such an introverted, quiet individual (J), I did indeed join in with 5 other women to have some fun with this contest. The men were seated around the steps by the lower stage and we were directed out back by the prude pool to prepare our "tits" for competition. Yes, thanks, Tamara for the ice! After the wet down and ice we were called in one by one to strut our stuff. I did borrow Henrys snake for the competition and massage oil. A girls gotta do, what a girls gotta do!!! Oh well, I figured that a show should really be a show right? (Henryyy- you're lucky you were not on those stairs - I had a special "thing" planned for your snake. (Smile)) In any case I had a blast wiggling, and doing my thing. Made some people smile anyway! As for phase 2 of my contest, mom's the word. Henryyyy already said enough! (Smile)

NUDE BEACH - Before I write anything about this wonderful beach, I have one note for newcomers. Please, please, please just wake up once early while at Hedo and go out on your lounge chair, with wonderful Jamaican coffee in hand and watch that sunrise. (Usually around 6:45 am) A must to see! (Depending on whether Henry had too much of a "wild" night... he was often out there with us! (Hee hee). Henry would also get his usual "good morning" salutation when I came onto the beach "Henryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Then I would get that much awaited wave into the air, no acknowledgement, just a wave, but that was enough! The nude beach - for those of you that are nervous - don't be! For those of you that are voyeurs - enjoy the sights but have respect! For those of you like us that love to soak in the sun, and be nakked at the same time, have fun! You'll just keep saying, I really am in paradise! And if you are lucky enough to meet a "Henry"-type person (which I doubt - there is ONLY ONE!), drink him in. He is the best Public Relations person for the resort. If they were smart they would hire him for $1,000,000 a year and would double or triple their guest list. (Plus with Henry who needs "orientation"!). An absolutely fabulous person, who made our stay memorable! (Henry, cold water helps that swollen head!). Back to the nude beach - one of the best moments is when you are lying on your float with a purple rain in your hand, with that hot sun touching every portion of your body..... sometimes you wonder if sex is the most savoured moment (j - Ricky!). As for the people you see on the nude beach - Newcomers please never worry about your appearance - you will be welcome with whatever! There are fat people, skinny, white bummed, red bummed, pierced tities, pierced penises (hi charlie!), black, white, yellow, everyone is welcome at Hedo! So between the sun, the food, and the friends, often times one did not want to leave the beach for anything! Who am I kidding! It had to be damn good to leave the beach!!!!!!!

Finally met one of the couples that we were in touch with via the "net". We met them through Denny's (thank you Denny) Visitors schedule! Laurie and Horatio.... some of the finest people the United States can offer! Came up to our table over breakfast and said "you must be Kim". Well we didn't lose touch with them the entire trip. Fun people, good people and yes they were a part of our wedding. I'll never forget it! I must tell you how we met the "other" couple. Also "salt of the earth". Hedohenry and Maurie. I was floating one morning (God, it sounds like a song!), and from the peace and quiet of the suns heat comes a woman's voice "Henryyyyyyy!". I knew right there and then (as Rick and I both sit up - faster than we have in a while - from our floats at the mention of this name) that Henry was among us. Sure enough I look up from my nakkedness and see the famous dinosaur floatation device with a man on board with a U of Conn hat. I knew in an instant it wasn't Saint Nick, but better. Alas, I thought I would wait until we made it to the beach and introduce ourselves then. Sure enough, there he was (in all of his splendid glory - the man!) talking with Charlie (a wonderful man from Canada with 62 piercings, Irie, Charlie!). We introduced ourselves and became wonderful friends. Henry is one of those people that you hope to meet in your lifetime, but don't believe you will. Maurie, is equally as special and have had lots of laughs and chats along the way with her as well. (Plus flaming Bob Marleys - oh, forgive me Lord, the FBM really did me in.... lookout frogs abounding!). Maurie did have the best drinking cup on the beach - it was in the shape of a "penis" - she drank from the head! Maurie- sorry but I was tickled by that one!!!!). Henry's claim to fame has to be his "Barney floatation device", and his bag of beach toys! The best has to be that snake!!!! Used for other occasions besides the beach! Even Barney has his share of work... Henry would come sneaking up behind me (in the water) on his floatation device, and Rick would see him approaching and move. Then Kim, so in love with the suns heat was oblivious to her oncoming intruder! Here comes Henryyyyyyyyyy! The next I "feel" is Barney floatation horns saying hello to my @##%#@$#@%$@%. Do I need to say more? I knew who it was without opening my eyes! I'd just say "Henryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

We then took a paddle boat out (for 4) with Laurie and Horatio! We did have some trouble with the steering? I guess that's what it's called. Henry said in his trip report that I "put my drink in the rudder hole". Was that what it was? (Smile). Hint for newcomers - If you take the paddleboat out be prepared to work if you sit in the back seats, and two - don't put anything in the hole, and three - make sure Henry's not watching. He won't let you hear the end of it! Oh Henry, thanks for the pre-wedding gift - the "love lotto". Finally finished one..... the feather, in the closet, at work. "HENRY! TURN THE "F" AROUND!"

One morning we (being the discreet people that we are), were having some fun behind the rocks when the ganja boats approach (Henry calls them "mobile pharmaceutical outlets" - he's so cool!). So keep in mind newcomers, watch where you think you are alone, with the ganja boats, if you're off by yourselves they think you want them and not your partner!

Another famous moment was my first "Flaming Bob Marley". After playing pool one night, Henry suggests that we become true Hedonites and partake of one of these drinks at Veronicas! So trusting Henry whole hog (why, why why?) We went to the piano bar. It's basically a large shooter but layered in the colors of the Jamaican flag and topped off with over-proof rum and set afire. A straw is then placed in the shot and to pass the test - suck through that straw like your life depended on it. Then wait.......... you might have an urge to chase 'tree frogs'. I passed the test right Henry??????? Oh.... I forgot not only chasing tree frogs, but your have to have your naked butt facing the moon!

Sometimes tree frogs are not the only thing that FBM's make you do! Laurie and I, Horatio and Henry and Rick head to the cool pool. I know that Henry says we made new friends that night....I still can't believe I did it with Hedohenry there!!!!!! Newcomers - If you are familiar with Poltergeist? Remember the line "Go into the lighttttttttt!". Well at Hedo its "Go into the jets!!!!!!" That one's for you Henryyyyyy. Laurie - Don't forget the cool show that we put on in the waterfall. Only problem was that the guys didn't have a camera. No big deal readers, we just stuck various parts of our bodies through the water. Guys had a hoot! After all isn't that what Hedo's about. Harmless fun!

Laurie and I had more fun picking on the "bad" shows in the hottub. We were at the point where we would have held up "Olympic" size signs rating them from 1 - 10! Unfortunately the ratings didn't pass a 6.2 that night. Oh well, more hope for another day. Henry didn't want to turn the "f" around unless it was at least a 9. At least he knows that we know our "stuff"!

One morning we had the "communal float" (that's where you hold on to each other's float - there was 5 of us) and chatted and watched the goings on. This morning there was the "Water Balloon Sling". That's where those"nasty nude people on the beach"(smile) have a giant slingshot and shoot towards passing "vinnie" boats and "mobile pharmaceutical outlets" that only are by to gawk or sell ganja!!! What a blast! But after a few good target hits, they were asked to stop. Don't want to hurt anybody, now do we? All in fun!!!!!

Then Henry got bored, again...... he asked us to have sex to entertain him, and when that didn't work he talked with me about an abduction. As hard as we tried to do this (have someone from the nude beach placed as a decoy on the prude beach in a bathing suit of course. Then fellow nudists come over to "abduct" the poor girl. They, of course, are coming over to get converts!) We never had enough people on the prude beach for this kind of fun afternoon activity. Maybe next time, Henry!

One evening we were to meet our "group" at hot tub at 6pm, Veronicas at 7 pm, and dinner at Pastafari's at 8. Well with all of the sun that day, (and whatever), we fell asleep. Only to find out that it was 8:15 when we woke up. Shit! Well, we not only were late for dinner, but a note to newcomers! Don't leave anything on the beach after dark. I can guarantee you it won't be there in the a.m. We lost our beach duffle bag, with snorkels, masks, suntan lotions, books, etc. So take heed! Anyways, we made it to dinner, but the stories that were imagined (as to why we were late) were varied. Henry was right!

Went to DISCO tonight. Notes on disco - (mind you it might have been a better experience if we were with the "gang", but unfortunately we were not). The disco is loud (that's not bad), but it is too HOT. It would have been better if we were allowed to be naked but it's clothing only, so between the space on the dance floor and the amount of people and the temperature in there, we didn't stay long. That is also the location for the PJ CONTEST, so we did go back for a second time. Placed third... but had more fun watching Rick with his awesome "beaten" expression. Love ya Ricky! Note to newcomers: Go for an S&M motif - you'll be sure to win something!

The next morning was the most outstanding time - - - the NUDE CATAMARAN CRUISE!!!! People out there in "net" land coming to Hedo. If you want one of the most fabulous times, go visit Rasta Ralph and his CRUISE! They pick you up at the pier (check for times when you get there) and you board for one of the best times of your life. (Can"t tell I enjoyed myself, can you?) They also take a video of it during cruise. (Note: if you don"t want to be in video just tell them, and you won"t be videoed, no problem, mon!). It costs $40US and is a 3 hour tour (Gilligan move over!). You approach the boat to board and hear that Jamaican music booming, with Rasta Ralph playing his instrument (no, not that one!). Awesome time. You are on a catamaran, naked with other people drinking rum punch, and dancing to Jamaican music, and of course, Rasta Ralph is there to make your trip ever so enjoyable! First off, we go out for about 10 minutes, when the engines stop and it's snorkelling time!!!! My first time... what a blast! Never in a million years did I think I would be doing it nude. As one guy said "A lot of nice mermaids down there!" Well said, and after 30 minutes of that we head out again. We arrive at the "Pickled Parrot". A clifftop restaurant and bar. We dive off boat and swim to cliff to head up ladder to fun!!!! (Keep in mind this is a "clothed' establishment - I hate that word!). Anyways there are three guys at the top of the cliff ready to leave then they see us all coming their way. We overheard the comment, "Oh, I think I can stay for one more-e-e-e-e!" I think they enjoyed our cruise as much as we did. While there you can "rope swing" off the cliff (about 20 feet), "water slide" off the cliff (also about 20 feet - Henry hold onto to your........glasses! (Smile)). NOTE: For newcomers on the catamaran cruise - if indeed you do jump off the rope, or slide off the water slide, AND your are a well-endowed female - please please hold onto them on the way down because it really hurts! There is also a high cliff you can dive off of. We didn"t but then again I was getting married the next day so wanted to save myself one more night! (Hee hee). Had a blast, and then swam back to boat, and partied again on the way home. We had some boat games with Rasta Ralph, and Laurie did so eloquently win the dance game. I"m working on getting you your prize, Laurie! No really! Irie! 

After cruise, we had nap and got ready for dinner in dining room. Dinner time games were good "clean" fun! Battle of the sexes - each male and female had to "make beds" (no they were not in it!), set a table etc. Good clean fun! Then there was the "Scavenger Hunt". Almost clean fun! Whatever the DJ asked all the players to find they had to find it and the first person to return with it would win a point for their side. Now keep in mind that a scavenger hunt at Hedo is quite different from your "childhood memories". You may be asked to find a woman with white panties, and then produce her with evidence, a dildo, a toupee, or in Laurie's case, a real red head and she has to prove it. Right on, Laurie! We were all proud!!!!

Tonight was PJ NIGHT! Was waiting to use the extra baggage we brought to finally use! Yeah!, got the whip, not the handcuffs (back at the Toronto airport - at lease someone"s enjoying them!), outfits, neck brace with spikes, high heels, and thongs, we are all set!. Unfortunately, we went to Laurie and Horatio's room for pics and I whipped myself by accident! Oh well, adds to outfit! Had fun, it was too hot, but had fun!

Day of the wedding (Wednesday, Dec. 30/98) - About 11:45 am. Henry and Rick and I were floating and I said to Henry, "Is it parasailing time?" "Yeah sure" says Henry. Off we go. Yes, we pick up a father and daughter team from another resort on the "shuttle speed boat" and no, they did not like me just as Henry said. I guess they don't like topless women. Finally I can't back out (even if Henry warns me that the boat operators had too much ganja before they pick us up (j)) it's time to get harnessed up as we transfer to parasailing boat. Ok, after we sign our lives away on paper, we are now harnessed up in a "tandem" parachute. Ok, Henry, I promise I won't scream. WRONG! I screamed, and I also left "dig" marks in Henry's side, promising to tell Maurie that it was parasailing that we were doing, nothing more! I did tell her didn't I Henry?

Note: for newcomers the ropes do "creak" when you're up there but don't be scared do what I do when I'm nervous. It works and Henry loved it! (J)

Then back to nude beach to catch some rays before wedding. Too cool, we were just floating and looked over to see a couple 69'ing on their raft, no problem mon! The only place in the world where I can sit up, see that, lay back down on my float, put my face up to the sun and smile and say,"ya mon, I'm still at Hedo for another day!". Wedding is at 5pm, so we don't get in too much sun..... don't want to sleep through it right mon?

WEDDING - LaToya (Hedos wedding coordinator and she does a great job), was to meet Rick at Veronicas a 4:50 and me at 4:45pm in room. We were a little off with time but no problem mon. LaToya gave me her necklace to wear as a bracelet because I had nothing borrowed, that is the personal touch at Hedo. Another personal touch was LaToya getting the nude beach "point" ready for the ceremony. There was a couple out there "doing the do" right where the ceremony was supposed to be. I asked her to wait until they were done, but she left saying she would "handle it". Sure enough the place was cleared. Everything gets taken care of. Thanks, LaToya! Henry, Laurie, Horatio, and Maurie come over to my room for pics and laughs while waiting for the "time" to come. Henry arrives with his "Tie". Now keep in mind readers that Henry asked permission from us to wear a rather obscene tie. Well we responded immediately that we would be more than pleased. You've got to understand people that having Hedohenry at your wedding with his lovely wife, and Laurie with Horatio too, it doesn't get ANY better than that. Then to throw in a tie with a clitoris and asshole on it only adds to our special day. Irie, Henry! I believe it was "scratch and sniff"? Also a note to people that know the wondrous Hedohenry... he was asked to take off his U. Of Conn. Hat during the ceremony. He did! I will always be honored Henryy! Wonderful ceremony... more of you newcomers thinking about marriage should try to arrange it for there! After ceremony gave the "crows what they wanted" (as Henry puts it) we mooned the beach, and Henry I think they did like it! Went through the grounds continuing our resort video and headed for Veronicas for reception. Won't go into as much detail as Henry (thanks Henry!), but had a good time, complete with the arranging of the letters by Laurie! Wonderful cake, champagne and then off to Pastafari's for wedding meal. Had a great time there and as I said before it wasn't so formal and quiet this night. All in good fun though! After we almost got kicked out by a few 'more than wedding like kisses' we travelled back to Veronicas and then the dreaded "Flaming Bob Marley" (shouldn't they have a Surgeon Generals warning on the glass or something?). We sucked back our FBM and then the rest of that evening was journal entried by Rick and Henry. Something about..... hipping and skopping, a tree frog with his bare ass in the air, basketball players pulling down their lingerie, Henry naked sprawled out on the grass (j), and finally something about people in the TV room "mooning" us. Did I get it right Henry???????

Took a taxi into Negril today (tonights New Years eve), so taking it easy! No 'tree frog nymph' for me! Irie, Henry! Had a good time in town, saw Jamaica as it really is. For newcomers: something you should think about doing, a real eye opener! Remember to negotiate price!

NEW YEARS EVE AT HEDO: Wow!!!! More balloons then I have ever seen, each table with it's own streamers, horns, and hats. Then Henry arrives with his "bag" of New Years eve toys. For all you Hedonism Executives out there: THIS man you should hire... he has THE best toys for New Years Parties. Even one of the waitresses commented saying, "she lost". Henry was deemed the best!!!! Sights were great, awesome outfits, ice sculptures, even the dessert table had "1999" in chocolate. Lots of shrimp, lobster tails, wonderful spread of food. (Oh Henry, I forgot to tell you... this night the guys from the "prude hot tub" asked to have me pose with them for a few pictures and a videocamera.... guess you were right, they didn't mind!) The band that night was great! They were called "Piano" and they kept us going! Even with three blown fuses we kept dancing and clapping! Nice job mons! Then the midnight hour - balloons drop from net, glitter confetti everywhere (cover your glass, smile!), and dancing some more. What a great time! We then moved to hot tub, but too cold-d-d-d-d tonight so didn't stay long! One more note about NYE at Hedo is the next morning. How many places can you stay at where on New Years Day you walk out onto the beach at 6:30 am and find a guy sleeping on a lounger with nothing buy his "party hat" over his crotch? And where else do they have a "bloody mary" table set up with the breakfast food. So cool!

Today is the 1st of January, 1999. Caught more rays as we are going home tomorrow. (I don't want to talk about it!) Decided to meet with "gang" for supper in main dining room one more time. Our group has now increased to 8 and had a blast. Entertainment was great - "Slinky" and his dog. (A man that can get into more positions with his body than.....), trapeze, and unicycles, 6" bicycles, you name it! We left after entertainment for hot tub, (Great time to go... 10 pm, it was cleaned with fresh spermicide added). We stayed for a while and then Laurie, Horatio, Maurie and Henry showed up! More laughs and good times. (No Henry, I'm not going to talk about Laurie's panties!). We ended up all walking back to our rooms, and Henry and Laurie decided to pull a fast one on us. As they were tying a fire hose (which was right outside our room) to our door, I heard them making noise and laughing outside, so decided to pick up my 80" whip and got Rick to play a joke on them. Thinking that they were right outside the door, I started whipping the door and screaming. Rick was screaming as well in the background. Come to find out Henry and Laurie (after putting the hose on the door) saw a security guard coming so disappeared away from the door, only to find out later that the "joke show" we put on was really for the guard. Henryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

LAST DAY(frown!) We wake up early, so as not to miss a beat! Open the curtain, then the window with my coffee, nekked at a "jay bird" smelling that glorious Jamaican air when suddenly Barney appears through the window. I then christened Barney with some assorted rope (left over) and some ivy. He's so special! Went to beach and let out my usual "Henryyyyyyyyy" and got my ever-appreciated wave! Floated for awhile, and then Rick joined me. All of the sudden he floated away, and I figured it was a "flip stop". But no, there before my crotch is "Barney" the dreaded floatation device, followed by Henry appearing from the crystal blue water.... "Henryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" Stayed sunning until time to check out. Went to say goodbye to Maurie, Laurie, and Horatio and Henry said he would meet us at checkout. As we walked down through the prude beach and up the hill for the final time, I would be lying if I said I didn't cry. This place is a home for us now....Laurie, Maurie, and Henry showed up. We tried to hold our keys from the front desk woman, but it didn't work. It was time. We looked at some pictures that just came back for a few more laughs and then boarded the "bus from hell". As we pulled out from the entrance we had our cameras as M,L, and H had their hands on their hips ready for a "final mooning" for us. You guys were great! I'll send you the pics! You couldn't ask for a better send off, especially the final words that I will never forget, came from HedoHenrys lips..... "Kim show us your tits!" (And with that I was more than happy to oblige!). Meeting people such as these dear new found friends, adding in the most special resort in THE WORLD, and sun, Jamaican traditions, and Jamaican people made this THE best vacation we've ever had!

BUS RIDE FROM HELL: Well, wasn't so bad! My only hint for newcomers is have a few purple rains before you get on. Streets are narrow, donkeys, chickens, dogs, and cows get in the way once in a while but all in all it has to be done only because it's one more experience in Jamaica that makes you smile!

SANGSTER AIRPORT, Montego Bay: We arrive and get our boarding passes. Still keeping an eye and ear out in case Henry shows up. I wanted to yell Henryyyyyy one more time! Ran into a Hedonite upstairs in departure area who remember the wedding. So nice to see him! Also ended up spending the rest of our time until departure with Betty. She was headed to Hawaii, and she didn't want to leave Hedo either. We had a great chat and had a picture together. What a nice lady! Laurie you should have joined us, it was a great time. The only problem was that when Rick went to the bathroom, a Jamaican man thought I was a hooker and came up and asked me how much! Hell, I'm still in Jamaica mon! Takeoff was smooth - "goodbye sweet Jamaica" - then after 4 hours we land in real hell. Toronto airport with blizzard. Yes, people we were stuck there for 2 days, but of course we had buckets to sit on! Lineups everywhere..... people getting really ugly about life. Thank God for the Jamaican attitude. We just kept saying "No problem mon". At one point we were standing in what I call a "snake-like" lineup that winds back and forth. It was the length of the terminal and about 10 rows deep. So I stood up on my baggage cart and yelled "ok, everybody put your hands on the hips of the person in front of you, and we will go for the Guinness Book of World Records, for the longest conga line" Complete with singing "Bump-bump-bump-bump-bump-pa!" We might have got a few smiles but they were a tough crowd. (Smile). In any case, we made it home after the second day, with even a first class ticket... no problem mon!

Thank you to all of you, for making our first trip to Hedo incredible! Henryyyy (I'll miss your antics, and I'm getting tired of yelling Henryyyy turn the "f" around, and there's nobody there, it's really sad), Maurie (I'll miss your laughter, and chats), Laurie (I'll miss yelling "**", and your great sense of humour), and Horatio (For all your help, especially at the wedding with great pics, and for catching such a fantastic wife). To Hedonism, we thank you as well for all the help making our wedding so special, (I know Henry, I'm getting mushy!), so I'll stop. All I can end with is "we'll be back!"