Hedonism ll Trip Report
Nude Week lll
By
Rich a.k.a. Pqtest
Day-1 minus 1 Thursday May 7th
Am I really going to Hedo tomorrow? I better get the honey do list done, and pack. This trip really caught me off guard. For weeks I have been waiting, and now it’s here. Get the south 40 cut. Shut the pool down (Ruth doesn’t need to worry about that while I am gone), was trying to get it open early this year, still too cold for a swim before Hedo. Throw the Hedo stuff in a bag; takes about 10 minutes to pack for Hedo. Travel documents, shit where are they, takes longer to find them than to pack. Camera, need that, going to meet a lot of new friends this trip from AOL. Trip report, I promised Denny Pasternack that I would write one. I know I won’t take notes like Hedoman, or write a trip report as good as his. But I will take a micro cassette recorder and dictate to myself, I can do this.
Day 1 Friday May 8th
Up at 4 am. Not too bad. Shower, first cup of coffee, then the traditional Bull & Finch Bloody Mary at 4:45. Second bloody for the ride to Bradley International; don’t worry, Ruthie is driving. Check in at US Air, no first class upgrades left; oh well, I can pay for more Bloody Mary’s. Checked my bag this time, tired of carrying it through connections. Take off on time at 6:30 for Philly. Can I get you a beverage? Sure I would love a Bloody Mary! Mr. & Mrs. T mix, my second favorite. I have to get my fill of Bloody Mary’s now. I love the bartenders at Hedo, but they don’t have the makings for a good Bloody, I even bring a bottle of Bull & Finch in case I need one while I am at Hedo. Arrive in Philly, hop on the connection to Mobay and wait. Wish I could have gotten first class upgrade. At least I could have another Bloody sitting at the terminal. Short delay, up, up and away. Can I get you a beverage? Sure I would love a Bloody Mary!! Breakfast is good for airline food, omelet and fruit. Arrive at Mobay an hour late, shit I wanted to be on the beach at noon. Breeze through immigrations, bag is ready for customs, no problem. Need a flight to Negril, not worth booking as they charge full fare for reservations. Who can get me there first?? Aero Express can, $100 US, WHAT!! You think this is my first trip??? $60 US, that’s better. Soon Come Mon. Very short wait. Three of us on a 6 seat plane. Hey Harold, can you buzz the beach? Sure, No Problem Mon. I thought the other guy’s wife was going to die. Harold slid past the beach and wiggled the wings, then side slipped it in for a beautiful landing at Negril. Almost home. Quick ride to Hedo, through the entrance, WELCOME HOME MR. RICH. I love these people, always remember a family member. Room 2235 or something like that, oh no, not close enough I wanted 2268 or higher, please check!! No Problem we will move you to 2275 tomorrow GREAT, now can I have my keys? Room is not ready. Have the other people left yet? Just give me the keys so I can lock some stuff in the safe OK. Sure, No Problem Mon. Michael can bring my bag down later. Off to the room, rip the clothes off, and head for Delroys. Now I am home!!!. Delroy, Scumba, Robert and Michelle, what a sight for sore eyes. Hugs and secret hand shakes all around. Big George WOW, great to see you buddy. Hey Chris & Lynn this is a Nude beach, I beat them for the first time. Great to see them; been too long. We were at LeeDeeDo for the Caribbean night about a month ago; still too long. Is the room clean yet, sure is, where is my bag? Michael is on the ball!!. I need some sunscreen for the sensitive parts, got it covered, now we can party. Took too long to get back in the Hedo mood, took five minutes, had it down to 3 minutes last October. Visited with a few of the Biff’s Bunch Crew that I met last May, leaving tomorrow, well life is a beach, sorry to see you go. PRUDE ALERT, who gives a shit, Ruth is not here and I don’t care about prudes and cameras, let the nude women take care of them, and boy did they. Same old Hedo, Vinnies and Wallies, careful I am solo this trip, don’t want to get labeled as a Wally. Time for dinner. Hook up with Chris and Lynn, and head up the big hill for dinner, boy that walk is already getting tough, a true slug, yep I am back at Hedo. Over to Veronica’s with hugs for Veronica and SueJean. Now I will get on my soap box. I am a smoker, but never thought about the staff at Vernoica’s. I asked Veronica about the smoke problem at the bar. Reading between the lines, I perceived that it is affecting their health. I recommended that they take the ashtrays off the bar; can’t do that, well I can. I proceeded to move the ashtrays off the bar and kind of hide them. I told SueJean to tell anyone who asks for an ashtray, to point to a table away from the bar, so she would not get it in the face. Seemed to work until I left. Time to pack it in, beach party NOT. Head to the Hot Tub for a soak, nobody I know, better cruise, I don’t hang in the tub solo unless I know someone there, hate the Wally image. Off to bed, read for a while, sweet dreams.
Day-2 Saturday May 9th
Woke up this morning with a wine glass in my hand, who’s wine, what wine, where the hell did I dine, must have been a dream…... I dined at Hedo!!!! I am really here!!! The sunshine is smiling on me today. Pot of coffee, have to love it. I don’t even have a coffee pot in my bedroom at home. Quick lube job (with sunscreen) and out to the beach. Chris & Lynn, Bill & Vivian are already there, great. I am pissed at Bill, he didn’t bring a ring for me like he promised. Just kidding (inside joke). Well might as well make the trip up the hill for breakfast and check on the room change. Charlie is still making the best omelets in Negril. Room change confirmed 2275 at 1 p.m. Great!! A couple of Delroy’s Vodka Tings and a Robert’s special, what a life. Well it’s about noon, George is on the beach. Wait a minute, George has been here for a while; that’s right George gets up before the crack of noon nowadays, guess he figures he will get plenty of sleep in his next life. Beach all day, disco all night that’s George. Head back to the room to pack for the move to 2275, and the phone rings, damn phones. We want to move you now, shit they must have cameras in the rooms. On the ball, boy the staff has got it now!! Walk up the big hill again for the new keys, this is getting old, walking up this giant hill. RRRRICH, hey Delete how are you baby, big hugs with Delete. Missed you at the piano bar last night!! I knew Delete had taken a job transfer, but still missed her. Where is Ruty?? Home, she couldn’t make it this trip. Delete loves Ruthie almost as much as I do, they are both so sweet. A couple of years ago we were sitting in the game room, Delete brought in a round of drinks, Mr. Lee offered a toast to Ruth and I, Delete asked what the occasion was, our anniversary. Delete said "Ohh I’m so happy for your boat", never knew we had a boat. We knew she meant to say that she was happy for both of us. We all laugh at that to this day, the next year they had a boat by the tree bar. We thought it was for us, but it was just a stage set. Still joke about that one. Get the room key, make the big move, I can handle one bag, but the walk up the big hill to bring the old keys back almost killed me. OK, back on the beach after the move, now I can relax with my book. I only get to read for pleasure at Hedo, all that technical stuff at home, really sucks. Can I finish a chapter, NOT. Momfive0 had arrived with a bunch of the AOL gang. Introductions drinks and party time. Did get the sea bed blown up at the dive shop, wanted to get that done yesterday. Chris did his handy work with the marker, my name, date of stay and "will work for sex", shit pissed me right off, I don’t mind sex, but I do not work at Hedo!!! Well off to meet Delete, Chris, Lynn, and I got together after Delete finished work for the day. Went to the tree bar where Anna served up something special. Just a Beefeater Tonic for me, but when Anna mixes it is special. Visited with Delete and then time to shower for dinner. The showers at Hedo still suck big time. I don’t mind the lack of hot water, as much as the consistency. Cold to VERY F---ing HOT, they should install anti-scald valves. Stopped by Delroy’s for a drink before dinner, and a chat with Anna. I asked Anna about the smoke at Veronica’s; as I know she tends bar there. Anna said that she worked Veronica’s the night before, and that her eyes and throat didn’t burn. She had asked SueJean what changed. SueJean told her about the vanishing ashtrays, so it worked!!! Dinner with Chris & Lynn, Bill & Vivian, Ed & Carol (Youflirt). Didn’t stay for the show, I don’t think. Remember I said I took a micro cassette recorder, well I used it for the dinner gang to say hello to Ruth, and then never looked at it again. So this report may contain some clouded time lines, as it is totally from memory, or what is left of it. Oh well, the recorder reminded me to much like work, screw it. Off to Veronica’s, then to the hot tub. We sat in the turbo tub singing John Valby songs ( Ed remembers them all!! ), and drinking beer, and telling jokes. Who ever had to pee, got the next round. Well, off to bed, need rest. I tried to read a little, but the words were out of focus. Must have been a great day. Tired or drunk? I think a little of both.
Day-3 Sunday May 10th
On the third day of my spring vacation, I woke up. Now I have the Hedo feeling. There are no hangovers at Hedo, just the relaxed, slug-like Hedo feeling. Cleaned up, lathered up with big SPF, and headed for the beach. Chris & Lynn, Bill & Vivian are all set up. Need that first cup of coffee. Head for the sea bed, and a little morning conversation with the crew. When I got out of the water, Chris starts laughing his ass off. Remember when I said that Chris had done some art work on my raft with indelible marker, NOT. Since the raft was in the salt water before the art work, it did not dry, and I was covered with ink, SON OF A BITCH. Oh well, this is Hedo, I had to laugh myself. It did come off with a little soap, water, and elbow grease. Way too much work. Well the raft is out of commission, or maybe not. Let’s see how many people are walking the beach with a black ass, after they steal my raft. Better than water balloons, less work. I settled in to get a little reading in. I like the Tom Clancy novels, managed to finish a few chapters before the days activities started. Almost time for Jerk Chicken. Augustus was finishing his shift on the beach; boy does he take care of us. I asked him if he wanted a little side job getting the raft back in commission. This is a man who will do almost anything for his friends, and what a great job he did, the flotilla is back in business. No more black asses on the beach for me. Jerk Chicken, Purple Mother F--Kers at Delroy’s, shower, dinner, Veronica’s, and of to the turbo tub for more beer and jokes with Ed.
Day-4 Monday May 11th
The days are really starting to blend together now. Same routine; wake up, hit the beach for a coffee and a float on the raft. No black ass today. Get to the shade for a little reading pleasure, finished the second book by mid afternoon. Party at the pool with the AOL crew. Boy; Diane is really getting into Hedo now. Jerk Chicken at 6 , Purple Mothers and Bamboo shots. Shower for dinner, dinner, Veronica’s same routine. Kareoke night; I think I will take a walk until the talent gets a little better. I do give everyone who sings a lot of credit, as long as they are having fun that’s great. You wouldn’t find me at the microphone, even at Hedo. Went to Delroy’s to get a drink, closed, must be after 11. Well, the beer tap by the hot tub should be working. I hear a rather large argument at the tub, better investigate. The night security supervisor and Diane are really going at it. The supervisor is yelling at Diane "Don’t touch the button". Well I know what this is about!!! The bubbles stopped and could not be restarted. I just had to get involved with this one, as I had the same problem in the afternoon. The bubbles and heat shut off by themselves and can’t be restarted with the button on the bathroom side, I know I tried. In the afternoon I asked Stafford to check it out when I could not restart the bubbles. Stafford tried the first button, then the other, like magic the second button by the misting pool worked. What a great pool staff this week, Stafford, & Grantly ( a.k.a. Joe Fraizer ). I got the bubbles started using the second button, and then told the supervisor that I wanted to speak to him privately. We were having a discussion about respect, and how I thought he was being disrespectful to the guests. I related to him that the guests probably didn’t touch the buttons, as the same thing happened to me that afternoon, and that Stafford got it working again. I guess that I was just a little bit loud, as John in 2280 came out his door. John listened for a minute and added that the same thing happened to him the day before. I thought the supervisor got the message, enough said to him. I think that I will head back up to Veronica’s, need a drink after all the excitement. When I walked in Veronica’s, George was talking with a young lady, seeing me he said there’s Rich; must be Carrie. I had conversed with Carrie via email as she is a Hedo Virgin and was requesting inside information after I told her this would be my 10th trip. I had offered to be her Hedo Guide, and thought she would be looking for me upon arrival. Oh well, she seems so nice, I can do a little work at Hedo. The three of us were talking, and Carrie related a story to us. The regulars will know this tune. Seems she was at her eye doctor’s on Friday, and needed another appointment. The doctor said he would be on vacation the next week, but he could see her in two weeks. At the receptionist’s desk she was told the same thing. When Carrie said no problem, she would also be on vacation, the receptionist asked her where she was going; Jamaica ; the doctor is going to Jamaica; hey doctor, Carrie is going to Jamaica next week too. Oh, where are you going?; Negril says Carrie; me too where are you staying says the doctor. Oh shit thinks Carrie; I am staying at Beaches. The doctor says, "you will be right down the street, I am staying at Hedonism ll". BUSTED, says Carrie, so am I. I thought this story was great, as many people going to Hedo use the same line. Not me, I am never ashamed to go to Hedo, or tell people where I am going. The three of us talk about Hedo for a while until George heads for the Disco. One more cocktail and Carrie wants to head for water. I told her that I can’t go to the tub until I check on George at the disco, so we head there. Get in the disco, same old story, George is dancing with three ladies, while the Vinnies watch. Carrie wants to dance, so George is dancing with four babes, have to love it. I even found a little rhythm, but decided it was too much work. Off to water, chat in the hot tub for a while, but fading fast, need sleep, tomorrow is another day.
Day-4 Tuesday May 12th
Same routine, wake up a little later as I am not used to the night life at Hedo anymore, shower, head for the beach, coffee, raft and morning chat with Chris. There’s George, what time is it, still before noon; how was the disco George? Carrie makes it to the beach, I had told her to take it easy the first night; how was the wine Carrie? As the three of us were talking, her doctor strolls down the beach; oh shit says Carrie. Her doctor is a pretty cool guy about 60 years old. He told her that she is the first patient he has ever seen nude. Carrie told him that he is the first doctor she has seen nude. What a hoot!! After he left, George asked her what she thought of his tattoo, she said what tattoo, I kept eye contact through the whole conversation; she will get used to seeing nude people. The bar is open, great, could use an eye opener, Robert’s special for lunch, party with the AOL crew, slug it on the beach; Gerry & Jane show up, nice to see them again; about time they make it home. Dinner with the gang, and the show, Cabaret as I remember, then off to Veronica’s; Chris & Lynn pack it in; go throw on my silk x-ray shorts, and head for the party. It is mild as PJ party’s go, very hot in the disco. More than half of the winners left due to the heat. The AOL crew stayed till the end, what party animals. Then headed for the beer tap/hot tub. I can see this party will last all night. Need rest!!
Day-6 Wednesday May 13th
Just another day in paradise. This is great, just like "Ground hogs Day". Every day is the same, wake up, clean up, hit the beach for coffee and conversation. Have to change this routine, head back up to the room for the bottle of Bull & Finch, as I could use a Bloody Mary this morning, perfect. This is a good day to slug it. Carrie is making a good sea slug also; she must be watching Bill, the super slug. What day is it now? Someone asks, how do you know what day you have to leave? Simple, the day after they slide a white piece of paper under the door that says "Time to get the hell out". The staff is really getting efficient. Afternoon pool for a cool down, cocktails with the crew. Jerk chicken at 6, returnees party at 6:30. The same old speech, they are fixing the water problem, will be done in a couple of weeks; sure, heard the same thing last October. Past winners are now eligible for the free week again. The counter starts from zero after their last win. A couple won with 17 weeks, after winning with 15 weeks the first time. Gerry & Jane came in second with 12, Chris with 11, then myself with 10. Oh well, may win someday. Talked with Cheddy about the security supervisor at the hot tub. I will usually address any problems with the person, and not management, but the guy did the same thing the next night, so my chat with him didn’t help. Spent some time with Dub & Sandy harassing Tavis, and decided it was time to get something to eat. Chinese night; should have made reservations at Pasta Rasta, but manage to find something to eat. Off to Veronica’s; some excellent talent tonight; John from Chicago, played the harmonica and did a couple of great blues songs. John even got the crowd to pet his poodle J . Great sing along. I hope John does talent night tomorrow. Closed Veronica’s and off to the hot tub, more drinks and conversation with a few people. Kind of quiet tonight. The party people must have worn themselves out after the PJ party last night, must have been 100 people in the tub after the PJ party; 25 couples, 25 Vinnies, and 25 Wallies. Well time to hit the hay, tomorrow is another day.
Day-7 Thursday May 14th
Woke up, did I fall down last night and hit my head? Is there a doctor who can give me an EEG? I feel brain dead today. Must had been bad gin last night; no I think bad ice. Hope Delroy has good ice today; oh well just slug it for a while. I can work 20 hours a day during emergency power restoration after storms; but this 20 hours a day of play is getting to me; must play harder than I work. Head down to the beach and entertain the crew as I proceed to fall in the water. I need more rest, so drift off in the sea bed for a while. Delroy has good ice, so now I feel better. Toga party tonight, need a nap before I can do another night, can’t sleep, but get some rest. The Toga party was pretty good, but mild in comparison with other trips, I am getting bored with Toga night anyway. The talent show was great, lots of super talent, even Paul from the bar didn’t sing tonight and John did sing some blues. Night cap at Veronica’s and sleep, must be close to going home.
Day-8 Friday May 15th
They left the white slip under the door yesterday. I guess I have to go home today. Get the last few rays and visits with old friends and new friends. The great thing about Hedo is you always meet new people, and see old friends, as well as the same staff. Off to Negril Airport, Aero Express soon come. Take off a few minutes late, I am the only one on the plane; Hey Dean, can you buzz the beach, and boy did he. Mobay to Charlotte; Would you like a beverage? Sure I would love a Bloody Mary!! I have to come as I go. Immigration and Customs; the customs officer asked if I brought anything back; I said no not a thing, must have had the look but he went through my bag with a fine tooth comb, after he finished I told him it was my 10th trip, and I had already brought back everything I wanted, so that explains it he said. Make my connection to Bradley, and arrive at 9p.m.. Ruthie is there to pick me up, she sure is a sight for sore eyes. I am glad that I went to Hedo again, but needed to come home to rest up for the next trip.
Postscript
I want to express many thanks to the staff at Hedo for making my stay enjoyable. Robert on the grill in Negril. Delroy, Scumba, Michelle, Anna, Stephanie, Grace at the pool bar. Veronica and SueJean at the piano bar. Ray and Mark James in the dinning room. Oswald who served me my first and last Red Stripe of the trip at the main bar, and always remembers me. Augustus, Vincent, and Karl ( Jazzbo ) on the beach, and all the other staff members who I forgot to mention, they are all great. Of course there is Ray and Pat from Go Classy Tours, who did a great job this week. I missed AJ and Gennie this trip, get well soon Gennie. Kim at Go Classy who always takes care of my trips to Hedo. A special thanks goes out to all the guests and friends at Hedo who made the trip what it was.
Email author A fine report, thanks! - Denny