GABI & JIM’s TRIP REPORT - HEDONISM II

April 18 - April 25, 1998

Last winter Gabi and I were looking for an exciting way to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. We decided to take a special vacation without our children, which would be a first. We spent night after night sitting in front of a computer surfing the internet looking for the ideal place. Hedonism II moved rapidly to the top of our list. However, its reputation as a swingers paradise raised concerns with Gabi. I was glad when I found this website because of its trip reports. We printed them out and discussed them. Gabi was relieved to see other women shared her concerns and found that when they went they really enjoyed themselves. The trip reports did wonders making her more comfortable. We wouldn’t be just first time Hedonist, but first time nudist as well. We wanted to break out of the rut and Hedonism II fit the bill. We began to find site after site about Hedonism II. Gabi started thinking about her outfits for the pajama party and the toga party with increasing excitement. As the weeks passed, her outfits had less and less material <with my encouragement>. By the time April arrived, we were ready to flap our arms and fly there ourselves.

Our expectations for our first trip Hedonism II were so high that I was afraid that nothing could live up to them. We are glad to report that the very opposite happened. We had one of the best weeks of our lives. Usually while on vacation, my mind begins to start concerning itself with problems of home or of work several days prior to leaving. I lost the sensation of time. I didn’t seriously consider the return trip until dinner the night before leaving. We were sitting at table with Carol & Glen, Christy & Dan, and Linda & Jess and everyone was quiet, which was anything but normal. Gabi and I looked forward to meal time with our friends for its lively conversation and laugher (not to mention Linda’s outfits). We truly enjoyed their company. We all were sitting around the table depressed about having to leave the next day. The best part of Hedonism II is the people you meet.

We would like to share some of the things we learned and experienced. Perhaps some of these ideas may make your trip more enjoyable. The following is a suggested list of items we would strongly recommend you bring. Many of these items are available in shops, but they are very expensive and selection is limited.

1. Sunglasses - The sun is bright and the glare off of the water is hard on your eyes. You don’t want anything to restrict your vision, especially at the pool or hot tub.

2. Baseball Cap - The cap is a good for the same reasons mentioned above, but it also protects your face or scalp if they get sunburned. Some people put names on the cap for identification.

3. Suntan Lotion - We suggest that you bring several lotions; one to allow you to tan and the other to protect you after you have it.

4. Surf Shoes (Pool Shoes) - The sandy beach bottom ends within several feet of the shore. The bottom of the swimming area is mostly covered with rocks and coral beyond that point. Both are very difficult to walk on. We learned this first hand. Our feet are still healing.

5. Air Mattress - Most of the swimming area is waist deep and the bottom isn’t foot friendly. Floating is the way to go. A flotation devices are available on a first come first serve basis. You have to get up early to secure them if you don’t bring them yourself. Save yourself the hassle, bring one along. They are cheap, light, and easy to pack.

6. A few CD’s - The rooms have CD players and Reggae Music gets old after about 3 days.

7. A Large Thermal Mug - The booze is free, but you have to walk to the bar yourself. The plastic glasses the bar provides are small (8 oz). Unless you enjoy exercise, bringing your own mug will make your pool and beach time more pleasant. Besides how often do you get to order your favorite alcoholic beverage in a 32 oz container? The bartenders are used to it!

8. Film - If taking pictures or video is your bag, bring lots of film. A 35mm roll of 24 exposures is on sale for around $9.00 at one of the shops. Picture taking is not allowed in nude beach and pool areas. However, early in the morning or very late in the evening you see cameras being used carefully.

9. Carrying Bag - This may or may not be necessary, but was convenient for us to carry books, magazines, towels, and suntan lotion to and from the beach. Plus it lets others know that the chair is in use should you be away.

As you see, we are going to break with tradition in the way we present our trip report. We aren’t going to present our report in chronological order. Instead, we are going to share our experiences in a less structured manner. Which is good, because our days have run together and can’t remember what we did went. We told you that we had lost track of time!

We had a direct flight from Baltimore to Jamaica (and back) on Air Jamaica. The aircraft was new, crew friendly, food was recognizable, and service was generally very good. However, both flights to and from Jamaica were delayed, (3 hours and 1 hour respectively). I understand this is not unusual for Air Jamaica. If you are looking for German precision or a Swiss watch operation, Jamaica Air is not for you. Otherwise, it was better than many American carriers I’ve been on lately.

The famous "bus ride from hell" was great. We had read horror stories about this 2 hour trip, but we really enjoyed it. It was part of the total Jamaica experience. TRUE, The roads were poor. TRUE, They drive on the wrong side of the road. TRUE, They drive very fast. TRUE, Passing other vehicular traffic is an adventure in near misses. But the trip was beautiful. You drive along the coastline of Jamaica soaking in the view, listening to Bob Marley, and drinking Red Stripe (the local beer). We met Karen (1), Karen (2), Joyce, Carol, David, Daryl, Glen on that bus ride. All people that we came to consider friends by the end of the week. At the half way point of the trip, the bus driver stopped for a "Pee" break and allowed us to buy some more beer from a local vendor, "The Golden Apple". The second half of the bus trip was full of laughter, conversation, and talk of making it a nude bus trip. The bus driver just smiled and laughed. We were in a great mood when we arrived at the resort.

We stayed on the Prude side. The resort was overbooked. After we checked in, we discovered that they were sending people over to the Grand Lido. I guess we were very lucky. It is cheaper and very quiet on the prude side. Unfortunately, you have to get dressed to leave your room. Women can go topless, but everyone must wear bottoms. We had a 10 minute walk across the resort to get to the nude beach and pool. No big deal. We bought a small cloth bag from one of the resort shops to toss our clothes into as we crossed the prude/nude boarder ($18.00, told you things are expensive). You may want to consider bringing a bag if you get stuck on the prude side and want to visit the nude. During the day, prudes venturing into nude territory without assuming the proper uniform are identified by noise makers and shouts of "Prude Alert," which is usually enough to have anyone drop their pants within seconds.

The nude beach is most heavily used in the morning hours. Everyone wakes up early and makes a beeline down to the beach to stakeout their beach chairs. Beach chairs are claimed and secured by placing towels and personal articles on them while they go to breakfast or until the sunbathing mood strikes. By 9 am, most of the prime locations, abandoned rafts, and chair mats have been taken (chair mats serve as a great lounge chair cushion, but also make good rafts). The swimming area is very rocky and walking around on the bottom is painful. So most people float around on rafts. We visited the beach first thing right after breakfast. Morning passed alternating between the beach chairs and the raft. We both had pretty good sun burn within the first two days. My face, scalp, and shoulders were the first victims, while some of Gabi’s naughty bits were overexposed. Remember to bring a good sun block. Usually by early afternoon we would get enough of the beach and seek some liquid refreshment.

The nude pool area is wonderful. It is too hard to describe in detail, but trust me. It is great. The nude pool area has a bar, grill, pool, whirlpool, wading pool, waterfall, and a hot tub. The nude pool bar serves the walkup beach crowd and the other half of the bar serves the swimmers in the pool. The pool bar is often crowded. This is another reason to have a big thermal mug. It keeps the trips to the bar at a minimum and keeps your drink cool. I must admit that standing in the pool, naked as the day as I was born, waist deep in water, and ordering a "Screaming Orgasm" felt pretty decadent. We loved it!!!

The nude pool is mostly heavily used in the afternoon hours. The sun tends to drive people from the beach and into the pool. People start socializing and making use of the bar. The grill next to the pool serves a fast food type menu. Many people take advantage of the grill rather than get dressed and go to the prude side main dining room for lunch. The hamburgers are excellent. The pool area does provide some shade in the afternoons. You can gravitate to a sunny spot or a shady one depending on the condition of your tan. By Wednesday, we were looking for shade. Usually around 6 pm in the evening we would gather our stuff together and start wandering back to our room. Of course, we stopped at the tree bar along the way. It is amazing that neither one of was saw anyone drunk. There was talk of watered down booze, but frankly I think everyone’s tolerance doubled. Either way, it was nice not having to deal with a bunch of drunks.

The main dining room started serving the dinner meal at 8pm, or was it 7:30, I can’t remember. Every evening, except for Jamaican Day, the dinner meal was pretty good. Not a ringing endorsement, but not an out right thumbs down either, just don’t go to Hedonism for the food. We survived on breakfast (very good) and a few visits to the grill. Most evenings they offered fish, chicken, and a red (raw) meat. Plenty of veggies, fruit, and breads. Dessert was plentiful. Our only warning would be to watch out for the spices. The chef clearly likes it HOT. Taste before you commit! The breaded fish on Jamaica Day is still burning. The meals are served buffet style. The dining room is large and comfortable, but it has too many obstructed views of the stage area. In many areas of the dining room, the stage is nothing more than something you walk past on your way to the buffet line. The stage area was home for nightly entertainment after the dinner hour.

The entertainment ranged from very good to very bad. On several occasions, our small circle of friends wondered over to the Veronica’s piano bar well before the end of the show. The piano bar can be a fun place. We usually got there before the place started really rocking which allowed us to laugh and talk without disturbing anyone. After the entertainment stops in the main dining area, Veronica’s fills up very quickly. We were amazed at how professionally some of the guests could sing. Even those that weren’t so hot had earned our respect. They certainly had more courage and we did. Veronica’s closes at around 1am (along with the main dining room). The Disco is the only place open after 1am.

The disco remains open until 5am. The disco is small, hot, and loud. Dancing on a crowded dance floor is an experience in collective sweat. The communal sweat does keep everyone lubricated enough to prevent people on the dance floor from seizing up into a mass of tangled bodies. I know I must sound very old, but the disco is a big disappointment. The disco bar is very bad. The bartenders are rude, slow, and unmotivated. This is one place that Hedonism really needs to revisit and make a few changes. Both in personnel and in facilities. The only good thing we have to say about the disco is that it is open late.

Rather than waste time in the disco, the place to be was in the nude side hot tub. The hot tub would begin to fill up around mid-night. There are lots of trip reports that detail the sexcapades of the hot tub. Based on our experience visiting the hot tub, the reports are probably true. However, the Hedonistic exploits of hot tubbers were somewhat tempered by the "sex police." The so-called "Sex Police" wonder around the pool and hot tub looking for some undefined something. One evening we saw the security guard interrupt a couple necking in a dark corner of the pool. They were politely asked to stop whatever they were doing. We thought the guard was being a little over jealous. Why go to hedonism if can’t be a little frisky with your mate. Hedonism’s motto is "Be Wicked for a Week." Perhaps they should add in small print "in your Room." More experienced folks told us that they had never seen so many guards around the pool as they had this year. It was suggested that we get 50 volunteer couples to have sex at various spots around the resort and watch the sex police go into meltdown. The mental image gave us all a big laugh. Sex Police were not out in force every night. Some were more aggressive than others, but there or not, the hot tub was a great place to relax before turning in for the evening.

We would be remiss if we failed to mention some of the special people we met. When we look back on this vacation 20 years from now, Carol and Glen among our fondest memories. We first met them at the airport and rode the bus ride together. I can’t recall exactly when it happened, but we became close friends within the first couple of days. We would meet for breakfast and plan our days together. Wet-T Shirt Contest, Pajama Party, Toga Party, Island Adventures, Horseback Rides, Beach Party... we did it together laughing and smiling all the way. We shared some very special times together. Our vacation would been lacking if they had not been a part.

We can’t forget Linda and Jess. They were easily the most photographed couple at Hedonism. We first saw Linda in the Wet-T Shirt Contest (which she won). She had blue hair and a very sexy outfit that matched. I think waving her room key at the judges made a big impression! Linda and Jess made meal time a fashion statement. Everyone would arrive early and try to guess what color hair Linda would be sporting that evening. If anyone knows the secret of enjoying life, these two have it mastered.

"Karen & Dave" and "Joyce & Daryl" were friends we met on the bus ride. They had been to Hedonism before and unselfishly when out of their way to make us feel comfortable. They made it a point to seek us out and see how we were doing each day. They seemed to take joy in seeing us having a great time. Karen is a lady of many talents. Besides being a "natural" blonde, she can sing, and "kicked ass" in the limbo contest. Joyce was robbed of her chance to win the "Best Tan" Contest, but we don’t care what anyone says, she had the best tan that week. Dave and Daryl are great guys and it is easy to see that they are rarely bored. They are wonderful people.

Finally, the last person we would like to mention is Karen. We met her at the airport and on the bus ride. She introduced us to a wonderful group of people visiting Hedonism that week, "The Butt Crackers." They are a wild and wonderful group of friendly people. Apparently, you gain membership by collectively visiting the Sandals Resort (next door) and mooning the guests!!! Karen has an infectious smile and a delightful personality. We remember her excitement when told us about her para-sailing adventure. She was bubbling over. Karen is special.