(written by "Laurie")

OK- here we go, my first attempt at a trip report--bear with me- Before I begin, I feel the need to provide a little history on my experiences with clothing optional facilities- Last year (1 yr ago) was my first experience with a nude vacation, and it was at Hedo. I went quite frankly, with a somewhat shitty attitude about the whole thing. I mainly went because it was something Horatio was really interested in trying, and I felt I owed him the chance to try it. Anyone that knows me at all, is aware that on the last trip I was pretty uptight and uncomfortable, and spent quite a bit of time in our room, crying and ready to take the next plane, car, boat or camel out of "this place". I did not participate in any activities, only socialized minimally, and this was with our aol friends we had "met" prior to this trip(Thank God for Denny’s board, for these wonderful people who are still our friends are what made it bearable)--Basically I made it impossible to enjoy myself- I have no one to blame for this but myself! In fact, on our last night there, being in a particularly foul mood, I was approached by a single guy in the hot tub who had his sights set on accompanying Horatio and I to our room, so just to "put him in his place", I proceeded to exert my Nursing knowledge upon him and ran through a thorough list of every sexually transmitted disease known to man, symptoms, incubation periods, treatments.... in full livid ugly detail, right down to the oozing sores that some STDs can cause! I am fairly certain this unfortunate young man probably spent the rest of his trip playing ping pong- Poor guy!

You may wonder why I even went back, if trip #1 was such a miserable experience for me- Well- it is hard to explain. My husband seemed so relaxed after we got home, and he has a very high stress job, and I must also say reading Chris’s book on Hedo helped a lot too (thanks Chris!)- The book served to put things in a much better perspective for me. (by the way Chris, is Hedo paying you any royalties for the increase in revenue as a result of your book? They should!) So, in any event, we decided to try it again, and I made the promise to myself to go with a more relaxed and open mind and just see what happens......

Dec 26- The trip was basically uneventful- Flew Air Jamaica, finally got going after spending about an hour and a half on plane "trying to get it started"- I am a timid flyer, the flight was turbulent pretty much the whole way, so I spent the 3+ hour plane ride in my "usual position" under the blanket, head and all-- for some reason this makes me feel safe, although I can’t imagine how safe this blanket would make me hitting the ocean at 700 mph! (just visualize how it must have looked for the flight attendant- my empty glass sticking out from under the blanket and a muffled voice inside saying "More champagne please" ). Took the bus to Hedo- the usual stuff, 50mph, avoiding goats, cows, kids...we thought the road was much bumpier then last year- My recommendation- if you have a back problem, or inflamed hemmeroids, you may wanna take the plane! Check in was a breeze, our room was ready, 5 doors from the hot tub, oceanview- What a great room- we had HOT WATER and GOOD WATER PRESSURE the whole time!!!!! I spent the next hour unpacking the 3, yes 3 large suitcases we brought- Yes, I know, I know, this is a bad thing- and yes, like last year I packed about 10 sets of underwear that I never touched the whole trip!

We were pretty tired on day 1, so we basically hung on the beach, had dinner, hot tub and bed early, we crashed!

Dec. 27-

Met our pal "Henryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" (Hedo Henry)and his wife Maurie on the beach- actually I spotted Henry riding this poor excuse for a dinosaur float in the ocean...somehow when I spotted this funky float, I knew Hank would be close by! You know, I had seen Maurie last year at Hedo, but did not get the chance to get to know her- I barely recognized her this time --she had lost like 30# and looked wonderful! We really felt blessed to have gotten to know her this time- Maurie is a delight! (OK Henry, you’re OK too, but why does your wife put up with you??? :) Henry wore his Uconn hat as usual.

We also ran in to Rick and Kim, another couple we had corresponded with via Dennys board- They were planning to get married in a couple days. Was fun getting to know them too, so much in love, and Kim- so much energy! Every day after we met, at any given time, if we wanted to know where Kim was hanging out, all we had to do was cock our head to the side and listen- But really, we enjoyed them both so much!! After dinner, we met up in Veronicas, where I was introduced to my first "Flaming Bob Marley", a flaming drink you suck really fast out of a straw- Then in 10 minutes you had better be positioned where you can be comfortable when you pass out! I watched Henry’s mustache nearly go up in flames when he drank his. After Henry won over $100 in a slot machine, we headed to the hot tub. Speaking of the hot tub- there seemed to be less action this year, very mild bunch. More single guys then I remember from last time. The water temp was a little uneven, either too hot or too cold.Henry wore his Uconn hat.

Dec 28-

Spent the Morning on the beach, we had discovered our favorite spot under some trees with a nice combination of sun and shade. Another change, many less padded chairs/floats around- Hard to come by after 10am- We had discovered a massage shack sponsored by the "Negril Chamber of Commerce" on the side of the beach- you have to walk out on the beach past Sandals, and a few other places, but Horatio and I got an awesome massage at the same time, for $40 for both- Was done with pure Aloe Vera and was terrific! Spent the afternoon on the beach, dinner at Pastafari, hot tub and bed. (*the after dinner shows were fun, last year we rarely went to them) Pastafari was excellent. Henry wore his Uconn hat.

Dec 29-

Horatio, me Kim, Rick, Henry, Maurie, and many others took the cruise to the Pickled Parrot- Horatio and I had received 1 free ticket from a couple we had met on the beach that didn’t have a chance to use it, but the trip would have been worth the additional $40- What a fun day! The Rum punch was definitely not watered down- Snorkeling sure is fun when you are loaded!Rasta Ralph had us dancing and playing games- I was mad at him, he had announced he would give a piece of jewelry to the winner of the "low limbo" game, so I participated (I am never one to turn away something for free!) I was announced the winner of the game, and when I approached him after the cruise, he said "Come next time, I give you..."- But the day was fun- The waterslide was great- Henry lost both lenses from his glasses, and someone actually found them and returned them! Horatio lost a $20 bill and ,...well......he lost a $20 bill! Advice on the rope swing-remember to let go when the rope has swung all the way out- not sooner- Horatio and I both ended up loosing our grip and landing face first in the water! I broke a nail (Wah!!!) and sprained my finger. Kim and I had fun riding in the front of the boat on the netting hanging over the water- definitely an experience!

Dinner that night was uneventful- we met John and MaryJo, who we had corresponded with on line, and really enjoyed getting to know them! PJ night was ok- not one of my favorite events- I hate closed in crowds, so we made our appearance and left- Night, as usual, ended in hot tub.

Dec 30-

Rick and Kim got married this day! I was so honored to have Kim ask me to be her Maid of Honor- Horatio was the "unofficial photographer", Henry gave her away (gladly!!), Maurie was support- The wedding was beautiful, out on the end of the nude beach, was nearly sunset. Kim and Rick had written their own vows, and it was very touching. THIS IS THE FUNNIEST PART- Henry was asked...no was told, to "loose the hat" ha ha ha ha- They made him take off the Uconn hat- the hat he sleeps in, wears all day, eats in, showers in....and in his own words, "turns around backwards during sex".....It happened so fast- they just took it- he didn’t even have a chance to object- He looked so helpless without his hat- Like Samson without his hair- a scared, vulnerable little boy....(We have pictures available for the low price of $4.95 plus shipping and handling!)- I will never forget the look on his face......priceless! After the ceremony we had the usual cake, champagne.....dinner at Pastafaris, and then the grand finale- YES- FLAMING BOB MARLEYS ! The next thing I know Kim has been taken to her room, evidently caught a tree frog on the way there.....the rest of us ended the evening as usual in the hot tub. Our dear pals Rich and Julie arrived this day, but they retired early-

Dec 31-

Spent Most of the day hanging on the beach with Rich and Julie, floating on the rafts, telling gross and bad jokes.......New Years Eve night was fun- we all sat close together- They had great shrimp cocktail, and the grilled lobster was better then last year- The show was fine...weather perfect...and after the New year was toasted we....you got it...went to our favorite hot tub. One of the fun games Julie and I enjoy is doing a quiet "play by play" like in a soft Howard Cosell voice, when watching the goings-on in the hot tub. "Slowly slowly Mr Xs wife slithers across the tub to the mysterious stranger...they kiss...and..." (I guess you would have to be there to appreciate)- Some public affection was going on, but pretty mild. Many apparently disenchanted single guys hanging out.

Jan 1-

Very quiet Morning on the beach- One man found passed out from the night before...went snorkeling with Kim and Rick, Rich and Julie, which was fun. Had dinner in the main dining room. I guess I had enough wine at dinner to be mildly annoying, Henry and Horatio conspired secretly to get even, and before I knew it I was being picked up chair and all, and carried across the dining room towards the prude pool- All I remember was people were chanting "throw her in" and clapping. I was screaming for help, but..{sniff sniff} my pleas went unanswered. Suddenly, about 25 feet from the pools’ edge I saw 2 entertainment staff members rushing towards us- I knew I was saved! They would never let this happen to a guest- They quickly came towards us...and....cleared the way to the pool! They actually pushed everyone out of the way and joined the chant "Throw her in..throw her in..."so......after I collected the belongings that fell out of my pockets from the bottom of the pool, I took off the wet clothes and, as usual, we ended the evening in the hot tub. MY PALS!

Jan 2-

Our last full day here- On beach, pool, hung out,.....played fun games in the dining area over lunch, won Hedo bucks... Kim and Rick left early in the day, and Henry, Maurie and I went to "Moon hill" out front to wish them goodbye in the proper Hedo fashion-- Then Henry and Maurie left later on, was sad to see them go to- had last dinner at Pastafari with Rich and Julie, went to Veronicas. Horatio had read about a drink called "The Statue of Liberty" and ordered one- all I remember is he lit his right index finger on fire after dipping it in the drink, and chugged- was pretty cool. Sang some corny songs, hot tub and bed.

Jan 3-

Typical fun and relaxing day on the beach.......visited with Augustus, a long time hedo staffer- He is so sweet- He brought us a bag of sugar cane- was always asking what he could do to make our trip More comfortable. We were originally supposed to take Air Jamaica from Negril to Laurie Bay at 4 but found that our flight home from Laurie Bay was postponed, so were were rescheduled to leave on the Hedo van at 11:30pm! So went to dinner, Elvis show, and stayed in the hot tub till the last minute, and walked to the bus at 11:25 to leave for the airport. Once we arrived in MoBay, it was apparent that something was wrong- to make a long and ugly story short, we spent Most of the night in the airport, only to find out at 4am that our flight originally scheduled for 6pm the night before "plane soon come" had been canceled! We finally departed Montego Bay at about 10pm that night. Oh well...that was basically the worst thing about our trip-

A few valuable lessons I learned;

1. Go to Hedo with a positive attitude- Keep an open mind. Do what makes you happy, you don’t have to follow the crowd.

2. The entertainment staff is awesome, IF you participate and act as if you appreciate them, they appreciate you..the same goes for the other staff.

3. Don’t openly joke about Hedo Henry loosing his hat unless you wanna take a dive into the pool during dinnertime.

4. Hang onto those body parts that you care about when going down a waterslide at 70mph.

5. Let go of the rope!

6. Take the time to talk to everybody around you- don’t judge by appearances- there are so many neat people there!

7. "Come soon" really means "Not less then 48 hours"

8. Flaming Bob Marleys kick your ass!

9. The mirrors on the ceilings of the rooms- Don’t be afraid to look- it’s kind of neat once you get passed thinking it’s gross!

and Most importantly....

10. If you go to have your legs and bikini area waxed before the trip- do not, I repeat, DO NOT have it done by a Muslim woman 1 week after our President had bombed their homeland!!!! Ouch! (it really happened and I am still not over it!)

Irie to all!