Grand Lido Braco April 27-May 5 2000

Written by David.

As I have reread through this trip report I have remembered many things that I forgot to mention. These items will hopefully be covered by one of the other Yahooligan trip reports as I think this one is long enough.  

     In December I started planning for our spring all-inclusive vacation. We went to the Moon Palace in Cancun last May and were planning on returning again mainly because it is an excellent resort for the money although it does not have an au-natural area which we do enjoy. It was about this time that I came across Denny P’s Internet site and also found the Yahoo Lido Visitors Club. We had previously been to the Grand Lido Sans Souci and Grand Lido Negril two years ago and were planning on returning to Negril in two years, waiting that long because the price was a little outside of our current vacation budget. After reading dozens of trip reports and hundreds of posts, I decided “to hell with the budget, we are going to a Lido”.

      Our decision to go to Braco instead of GLSS or GLN was made much easier from the trip reports. GLSS was already ruled out. While we enjoyed GLSS and chose it to get married at because it is so beautiful, there is no nightlife and the au-natural facilities are nice but very underused. We enjoyed GLN much more than GLSS and were planning on returning there until reading and researching Braco. Out top priorities for choosing which Lido were based on which had the best  au-natural facilities including beach and pool, food variety, and night life. From the trip reports it appeared that Braco had the edge in all three areas and this turned out to be true from our actual experience.  

     I booked the trip in the beginning of January originally for 7 nights. Since we planned on spending all of our time on the au-natural side, I booked the au-natural JR suite which through the special that we used cost only an additional 199.00 PP more than the garden view rooms. By using an Internet travel agent, I was able to book this trip for over 1000.00 cheaper than our trip 2 years ago while staying in a much higher category room. Just after we booked, I met Scott & Sherri through the Yahoo club calendar and the beginning of the Braco Yahooligan group was started. As the group began to grow, I realized that 7 nights just didn’t seem long enough for all of the fun we were planning on having so I added an 8^th night. Over the next 3 ½ months the Yahooligans had numerous Sunday chat sessions, chose a group temporary tattoo (Taz), put together a group profile (thanks president Sherri) and continued to add new members. It was the other Yahooligan members who made what would have been an incredible vacation into the vacation of a lifetime.  

     Finally April 27 arrives! We arrive at the Montego airport at 1:00 PM. While the airfare I got was the cheapest I have ever seen from Jacksonville FL to MBJ, next trip I will pay more if I have to so that we can arrive as early as possible. Some of our group arrived in Jamaica at 7:00 am, which got them to the resort by 9:00 am. Going through customs was a breeze but we had to wait about 20 minutes for the Superclub bus to Braco. The ride to Braco was great. We were on a full size Greyhound style tour bus with the trip taking exactly 1 hour with a Red Stripe stop ½ way. Unfortunately the return trip was not as good but more on that later.  

     Upon entering through the Braco front gate we passed through a very nice 9-hole golf course with driving range and putting green. We are not into golf but the course did provide an excellent place for my daily runs. On arriving at the reception area we were brought cold wash clothes and a drink of our choice. I had the first of many Red Stripes. I had our travel agent fax down a request for an upgrade to a one-bedroom suite in building 2 on the 2^nd or 3^rd floor on the au-natural side. The front desk claimed to not have received the fax but did have us already upgraded to the one bedroom suite. The room however was in building one on the ground floor. I originally wanted to change rooms but decided to give this one a try. We ended up loving the location as our view was still very good and it was great being able to walk out the back patio onto the beach. Building one (closest au-natural building to the main resort) also ended up being an excellent location, very convenient to the both the town square restaurants and the nude pool and bar. There are really no poor room locations on the au-natural side with different advantages to each building and floor.  

     It was 3:00 PM when we arrived at the resort so our room was ready. On the walk from the reception area through the Town Square towards the room I immediately fell in love with Braco. It had an entirely different feel than any resort property I had ever been on. It was like going back in time to a beautiful seaside village. I was impressed at the lush tropical landscaping, not as lush as GLSS, but far nicer than GLN. We arrived at our home for the next 8 nights, room 3007. Entering the room there is the living room area nicely furnished with a TV and a frig/sink/stove combo. The frig was stocked with beer, soda, and bottled water. Heading past the first room is a full bath and a ½ bath. The extra ½ bath came in very handy. The bedroom had a king sized bed another TV (neither TV was ever turned on during the trip) and the closet with the safe. There was an additional closet in the living area. The bedroom looked out onto the patio, which had a table with 2 chairs and a mostly unobstructed view of the beach and ocean. There are 52 rooms on the au-natural side, 20 JR suites, 24 one-bedroom suites, and 8 luxury suites. Some of the JR suites have 2 doubles instead of a king bed. I think that every Yahooligan was upgraded to at least a one-bedroom suite even though we all booked the JR suites. There was one Yahooligan couple who booked a garden view room on the textile side and they ended up being upgraded to a one-bedroom suite also. The convience and freedom to walk out of the room naked onto the beach or toward the pool was wonderful.  

     After quickly unpacking, we got naked, put on sunscreen lotion, and headed to the nude pool and bar. It was there that we finally got to meet the world famous bartender Chester. We introduced ourselves, told him about his famous Internet status (he hears it all the time but loves it) and ordered a dirty banana. Chester took take very good care of us during the next 8 days. After getting drinks we started meeting the other Yahooligans. Sherri had compiled a group profile, which included a mini-biography and photo of most of the group. This along with the prior group chat sessions helped break the ice with actually meeting everyone in person. There were 14 of us for our first day with more arriving daily during our entire trip. The nude (I am going to use nude instead of au-natural) pool was magnificent. It was one of the largest I have ever seen with a swim-up bar, volleyball area, and beach like wading area. There were plenty of lounge chairs and pool floats. Behind the pool was a large 30-40-person hot tub with a smaller 8-10-person hot tub hidden by plants nearby. There were many late night hot tub social gatherings throughout the week.  

      After floating in the pool, drinking, and meeting everyone for a few hours, I was ready to begin my quest of eating as many lamb chops as would be humanly possible (they are incredible and I am addicted). We went to the nude clubhouse and I began with 3 orders. We spent a lot of time at and ordered a lot of food and drinks from the clubhouse during our stay. There is a small bar, pool and ping-pong tables (I won the nude ping-pong tournament), and an outside patio dining area with 3 tables. The menu is the same as the room service menu and does include lamb chops. The service at the clubhouse varied by time of day. During the day it was pretty good but at night it was a little slow at times with some orders being mixed up or forgotten. Overall I would still rate it as acceptable and we had a lot of fun there. During one lunch we had our own private trio serenading us with Jamaican songs. The clubhouse is nude and is open 24 hours.  

     After stuffing myself with delicious lamb chops we walked out to the Far West end of the nude beach to enjoy the sunset. This became a daily event for the Yahooligans to gather and watch the sun go down. The sunsets were beautiful and so were the Yahooligans! We took plenty of pictures of our bare butts with the sunset in the background. Following the sunset it was back to the room to relax before getting ready for dinner and the dreaded task of having to put clothes on.  

     The first night we went to La Pasta restaurant for dinner. Everyone ordered pizzas and they were excellent! Dessert is available from the bakery located right beside the pasta restaurant. The dining area for La Pasta is located outside with tables with umbrellas. It is in the town square area. La Pasta is open for lunch until 2:00 am. The food and service are excellent and we had dinner there one other night also. After dinner Deanna returned to the room to rest before the PJ party. I went exploring and ran into some of the other Yahooligans who were getting ready to dine at Victoria’s Market. They invited me to join them, which I did. The menu changes daily and I had my second dinner of the evening which was very good. I found the service at Victoria’s Market during dinner to be very good, others felt that it was a little too slow.  

     We arrived on a Thursday which meant it was “Bare as you dare” Pajama Party night. My lovely wife Deanna and I chose outfits that were daring and baring. My outfit was a rooster g-string that went “cock-a-doodle-doo” when you squeezed the head. It wasn’t very loud so you had to have your ear right beside the rooster to hear him crow. Needless to say, I had a lot of fun and have some very interesting pictures. Deanna wore a very skimpy outfit that won her the sexiest female contest tying with one other person. One of the other Yahooligan men tied for first in the sexiest male contest. The PJ party was packed with the Yahooligans definitely having the more risqué outfits. Following the PJ party our group grabbed some champagne and drinks and continued the party in the nude hot tub until 3:00 am. A few more orders of lamb chops from the clubhouse helped to fight off my hunger pangs. I would like to clarify now that by partying I am referring to drinking and talking. There were no public displays of sex or sex games. Braco is not that kind of resort and the Yahooligans are not that kind of group.  

     Friday morning we awoke to begin our first full day in paradise. Deanna headed to the fitness center and I took off on a run around the resort. I ran around the golf course and then along a gravel road than goes along the ocean headed west from the resort. I did this course 2 times which covered about 6 miles. I then joined Deanna at the fitness center. The Yahooligans were a very active group most of whom used the fitness center daily. The fitness center is open air facing the ocean. The breeze helped cool things off but I still hope that they will enclose the front with glass and have air-conditioning. The center has all of the necessary equipment to maintain some level of fitness while abusing the body daily with mass quantities of food and alcohol. I ran on one of the treadmills an additional 3 miles and we then went to get dressed for breakfast. Braco does have 24-hour room service, which we did use to order a light breakfast some mornings to eat before the morning workout. Breakfast is served at Victoria’s Market buffet style with cook to order omelets that are fabulous. There is also some of the best smoked salmon that I have ever had that was delicious piled high on a bagel along with cream cheese, tomato, onions, and capers. There is plenty of fresh fruit and the buffet items are also very good. The beverage service during breakfast is probably my biggest complaint. I wish they would just have a self serve juice and water station as one morning we were finished with our meal before receiving anything to drink. Most days were better but still a little slow.  

     Following breakfast we began our daily routine of getting naked and heading to the beach. The nude beach is beautiful with thick sand and crystal clear water. There are small rocks in the water but not enough to need water shoes. The water in front of the first block of rooms has the smoothest bottom. There are plenty of beach chairs with pads or floats to go on them. There is a rock wall surrounding the swimming area so the water is fairly calm. There is a rope before the rocks that you can hold onto while floating on a raft. Some of the group would snorkel along the rocks. The weather the entire trip was perfect. Sunny and 90 everyday. I have read a lot of trip reports that claim that Braco is too windy. While there was a pretty strong wind picking up every late morning, the wind felt great and made lying out in the intense sun and heat comfortable. Everyone that I talked to loved the wind and saw it as a positive factor. They just put in a new pro-style beach volleyball court on the nude beach, which made for some great nude beach volleyball games. As far as water sports go, we did not participate in any other than the soon to be Olympic event “floating on a raft with a buzz”. I did see a lot of people taking out the sailboats and having an excellent time. I talked to 4 couples who did enjoy the scuba diving. For snorkeling trips (they now offer 2 nude trips per week), It definitely would be best to do it first thing in the morning before the wind picks up.  

     After laying and playing on the beach all morning we would head to the nude clubhouse or pool grill for lunch. Of course I would have 3-4 orders of lamb chops. It was then time to float in the pool or play poll volleyball. The games became quite competitive as the week progressed, especially when it was all men playing. The nude side of the resort became more full starting on Sunday being at close to 100%. It was all couples male/female with one male/male couple (not that there is anything wrong with it). Most people were in the 30’s and 40’s with some 50’s and up. For the most part it was a very fit group of people. The main thing we enjoy about vacationing in the nude is the friendliness of the people. There is much more socializing and interaction. It is like old friends getting together for a party after being away for a long time. On the textile side most couples are by themselves with not as much socializing going on.  One thing that was nice with the size of the nude side is that there was plenty of space to be alone if you wanted to.  

     After playing in the pool and drinking all afternoon it was time was time for more lamb chops prior to the sunset gathering. Friday night was the Jamaican street festival set up in the Town Square. The food was excellent with a great variety of delicious dishes. After the meal came the Jamaican street dancing. I can’t quite remember the rest of the evening but I am sure it involves more lamb chops, drinks, and the hot tub.  

     Saturday begins with the usual routine of exercising, breakfast, beach, drinks, lamb chops, pool, drinks, lamb chops,drinks, and sunset. We then had dinner at Victoria’s market which was very good followed by entertainment and dancing. One of the Yahooligans plays jazz piano so we went to the piano bar for a jamfest. This was followed by kareokee. It was this night that we encounter a real live “Wally” (as defined on the Hedo message board as a married male who leaves his wife in the room late at night to sneak off to the nude hot tub in search of some sexual action). The Braco version of a “ Wally” will now be referred to as an “Edwin” as this was his name and sounds appropriate. We met Edwin and his girlfriend after dinner and they joined us at the piano bar. During the song “I want to hold your hand”, Edwin leans over to whisper in one of the female Yahooligans ears “I’d like to hold a lot more than just your hand”. It is later in the hot tub when she tells us this, suddenly out of the blue that shows up naked and without his girlfriend but Edwin. Our reception of him was not a warm one you could almost feel the ice beginning to form in the hot tub. We continued conversing among ourselves totally ignoring any comments made by Edwin. Finally after about 20 minutes he gets the hint and heads over to the other hot tub in search of action.  

     Sunday same daily routine. I am in heaven. I think I could do this forever. We are already starting to discuss when we will be returning to Braco. Next April/May for sure but I don’t know if I can wait that long. We have reservations at the French restaurant tonight at 8:30 but I also make reservations for the sushi bar for myself for 6:30. Deanna doesn’t like sushi but I love it. Following the sunset gathering Deanna goes to take a nap and I go for sushi. Long pants, collared shirt, and leather shoes are required at the Japanese restaurant and sushi bar. The meal at the sushi bar was probably my favorite. It is a fixed menu starting with a soup, followed by an Alaskan king crab salad with ginger dressing that is to die for, then a delicious tempora shrimp & vegetable course, and then the sushi course. Even for non-sushi eaters this meal would be fantastic. The sushi included tuna, yellowtail, eel (cooked), Shrimp (cooked), salmon (smoked), and two different California roles with vegetables. The sushi meal took about 1 hour so I took a walk around the property to let the food settle in preparation for the French restaurant.  

     Jackets are required for the French but not ties. The restaurant is beautiful with a harpist playing in the corner. The wine available at the French and Japanese restaurants is excellent. The Tarapaca Merlot, Cabernet, and Chardonnay rival wines that you would find on a US restaurants wine list in the $30-$40 range. The white glove service at the French restaurant was impeccable. I spent 10 years waiting tables in fine dining restaurants and was very impressed. We both ordered all 5 courses. The appetizers were good but very small portions (I recommend the shrimp), the soups were okay, skip the salad as one is not very good and the other (the duck), I had to spit out into my napkin to prevent from throwing up. The food was excellent with the rack of lamb being totally mouthwatering (what else did you think I would have). The only dessert we found impressive was the crème brulee, which was so good you, would slap your momma to get some more. We went to the French restaurant again with another Yahooligan couple on Tuesday and this will cover both meals.  

     On Monday I got up at 8:00am so I could go on the morning power walk. This is lead by Mighty Mike the aerobics instructor. He is very fit and very competitive. Being the competitive type myself, me and Mighty Mike ended up having a “walk to the death” battle the last ¾ of a mile through the thick beach sand and around to the resort entrance. I had to push myself to the limit and use my best race walking technique to finally open up a fifty-yard lead the last ¼ mile. It was the first time he has ever been beat. I was very impressed at how tough he was as I am a competitive long distance and marathon runner. 

     The rest of Monday was back to the routine with part of our group having dinner at La Pasta again. It was later in the evening that tragedy struck. We went to the nude clubhouse for a late night snack and were told the horrifying words “we are out of lamb chops”. I asked if the entire resort was out, as I would gladly have walked across the property to the other clubhouse if necessary. They said a delivery truck didn’t show up and the resort was totally out. Since I had already eaten at least 4 orders earlier in the day, I decided to try the chicken wings and another item along with the brownie dessert and pray that they would arrive tomorrow.  

     Tuesday at lunch and still no lamb chops. We decided to try Nanny’s Jerk pit instead. We sat at the bar and I ordered the chicken, pork, and fish along with a Red Stripe. The jerk seasoning was hot and delicious and the Red Stripe seemed to blend with it like a fine wine. Tuesday evening we had dinner again at the French restaurant. I had the rack of lamb, which helped subside my cravings for the lamb chops.  

     Tuesday night was the toga party, which was very well attended by the Yahooligans. Deanna’s toga outfit was very revealing and shocked a few of the textile quests. As the textilers began to leave the Yahooligans and the other nude side guests began modifying the togas to become more and more revealing. Eventually most of the women were at least topless on the dance floor with some of the men “hanging out “ also.  

     Wednesday and still no lamb chops! I am having to drink extra dirty bananas to fight off the hunger pangs. We ate again at the jerk pit but this time we sat at a table because there was 6 of us. The service was very slow and the waitress did not bring about half of the food we ordered. Luckily I had ordered 2 1/2 meals so I still had plenty of food and after lunch we went to Victoria’s Market for ice cream and chocolate chip cookies. Early Wednesday evening A.J. from Go Classy tours had a party for everyone at the nude clubhouse to celebrate Go Classy’s special Braco Nude Week. The food was excellent and it was great meeting A.J. and his wife. They are both very nice. Wednesday night was the Beach party and we encountered the first and only rude Braco employee. We practically had to fight him to put 3 tables together to seat 12 of us. He was concerned about there being enough seating for all of the guests and just didn’t seem to get the concept that 3x4=12. Finally we got our table together and enjoyed the meal and the show that followed. Since lobster was out of season they offered giant prawns. We went to bed early Wednesday night in preparation for our last night at Braco and one more PJ party.  

     Thursday was our last full day at Braco and we made good use of it. The only rain of the week occurred that morning but it had stopped by the time we got out of bed. We were at the beach by 10:00am and played volleyball until the 12:30 Thursday nude pool lunch buffet. HALLILUYAH the lamb chops are back!!! Hot off the grill with mint jelly I make up for lost lamb chops. Thursday by the pool is a major party. There are 22 Yahooligans and the nude side of the resort is full! Chester is mixing drinks at an incredible pace and festivity is in the air. I try in vain to convince Deanna to let me add 2 more days to the trip and return home on Sunday.  Normally I am ready to go home after a week’s vacation but this is Braco and I want to stay indefinitely. I calculate that we could run up our credit cards and stay at Braco for about a year. Luckily Deanna is able to talk some sense into me. Prior to the sunset we all go to the hot tub. I order 6 orders of lamb chops. For our final sunset in paradise we all put on clothes so that we can take some pictures that we can actually show our “normal” friends back home.

Following the beautiful sunset we head to the Japanese restaurant where we have 2 tables of 8 reserved for the Yahooligans. Unfortunately that is all that they would give us so we were unable to include the entire group. The Japanese meal was wonderful with plenty of excellent food. Following dinner we went to the textile game room for drinks and games. I met one of the disco bartenders who wanted to play me at ping-pong but was not allowed to on the guest table. Instead I took the paddles and ball and followed him to the employee dinning area. Let me say that it was not a very nice place as compared to the resort. They did have a nice ping pong table though and he proceeded to beat me handedly 2 straight games. The Jamaicans take their ping-pong very seriously.  

     At 11:00pm we headed over to the disco wearing our slinkiest attire. Deanna and I wore the same outfits, which were the most revealing a week ago, but were tame in comparison to the couple wearing nothing but plastic wrap and not very many layers at that. We marched down Main Street in a big group drawing stares and gawks from the textilers. The disco was packed. We all did a conga line that went out the rear disco door past Victoria’s Market and down Main Street back into the disco. The plastic wrap lady easily won the sexiest female contest. The male contest appeared to be rigged as a guy who got half the cheering won to the amazement of the crowd.  The disco was too packed and smoky so we left after an hour and all went to the hot tub. After too many drinks we finally staggered to the room at 2:30am.  

     Friday morning and it is time to leave paradise. I think that it is a rule that you have to have a hangover on your way out of the resort. One final breakfast of piles of smoked salmon on bagels and we went to check out for the 10:00am ride to the airport. Instead of a big luxurious bus we board a small 6-passenger minivan with a poor suspension. The 1-hour ride to the airport seemed to take forever and even Deanna got nauseous. It was 11:00pm before we finally arrived home weary and ragged but inwardly happy from what was the best vacation of our lives.  

In summary Grand Lido Braco is by far the best resort we have ever been to. The trip was made even more wonderful by the greatest group of people we have ever had the pleasure of meeting and becoming friends with. It was said numerous time that our group would have a great time anywhere but Braco served as the perfect catalyst. The staff at Braco was wonderful and went out of their way to make our trip enjoyable. For anyone considering an au-natural vacation there is no other place in my opinion that even comes close. For anyone not considering an au-natural vacation, book the textile side, try the nude side one time and you will be hooked. There was one negative occurrence that happened as I had a gold chain stolen from our room. Unfortunately I did not have it in the safe so I partly blame myself. I filled out a report and talked to one of the resort managers. She apologized and stated that theft at the resort does not occur and that this was a very isolated incident Even this incident did not put a damper on our trip and we are planning on returning to Braco as soon as possible. The Yahooligans are already planning a return trip for April/May 2001. I will be serving as the travel coordinator and will be negotiating a discount group rate through one of the wholesale tour operators such as Go Classy. We hope to make the 2001 Braco Yahooligan trip even bigger and better.     For any questions or info on Braco fell free to e-mail me at    jaxptrun@netscape.net        More info on the Yahooligans and future trips will be posted on Denny’s site and at the Yahoo Lido Club.

 

David & Deanna