Jeffrey - May, 2005

We recently took our first trip to GLB May 14th – 24th.  For reference,
we have been to GLN and HII many times.  I will not do a day by day
account but will give you an overview of our general impression of GLB.  I
know there are extreme loyalists out there who will do anything to
defend their beloved resort, so keep in mind this is just our opinion.

The Good

The grounds of GLB are beautiful and well maintained.  The property was
generally well laid out.  The A/N pool and hot tub are the best
anywhere.  The bartending staff is the best of any resort we have ever been
to, you never had to wait for a drink.  And occasionally Merle would
bring you two, just to play it safe.  Nanny’s Jerk Pit, the Italian and
French restaurants were the best places at the resort to eat.  We played
golf for the first times in our life and loved it.  The nine hole course
is great for beginners and is never busy.  We played five days in a
row.

The Bad

We found GLB to be extremely disappointing and we would not return
unless they made some major changes in the operation of the resort. The
tone was set when we arrived, they asked us what we would like to drink
and never returned.  GLB is in no way on the scale of service, quality or
sophistication as GLN.  Half way through our trip they began working on
the roof of Block A, directly over our room.  The next morning we asked
to move to Block B.  We were moved, but only after 7 trips to the front
desk, several phone calls and a nasty letter to the General Manager. 
We finally got into our new room at 7:30 pm.  The front desk staff is
inept and unprofessional.  The day after we moved they tried to make
amends by bringing us Champagne.  While the gesture was appreciated, it is
an all inclusive resort.  On their first attempt we declined.  They
must have thought we would change our minds because they came back 20
minutes later with the same tray, which we declined again.  The third time
they just gave us a card off the tray from some unnamed person
apologizing.  Along with the three knocks on the doors, we also received 3
phone calls.  We finally had to unplug the phone.  This was the most
difficult resort to take a nap at because someone was always knocking on the
door.  They offered nightly turndown service, but at 5:00 pm.  If you
didn’t take it then it didn’t happen.  GLN always did this during dinner
hours, which was the perfect time.  The food, overall, was no better
than what we had eaten at HII.  The Friday night gala at HII blows the
GLB Street Party out of the water.  We never had a decent meal at
Victoria’s Market and often had to leave our food there to go and get a pizza. 
While this is petty, if you like salt and pepper take your own.  It was
impossible to get the stuff out of the shaker.  I guess that was one
way to save a few bucks.  On more than one occasion we had to get up and
get our own wine, even though most times there were no more than 10
couples in the dining room.  The quality and selection of food at the
buffets was not even close to that of GLN.  Thank God for pizza and
hamburgers, if it weren't for them we would have lost 10 pounds.  If you
are going for relaxation you will definitely have to try and get as far
away from the pool as possible.  They play moderately loud music around
the pool all day.  Every morning at 11:00 am the Entertainment
Coordinators ease you into the day by screaming over the microphone the daily
activities and getting people assembled for volleyball and water
aerobics (which plays its own music from a boom box).  They make announcements
and play games using the microphone throughout the day.  At least at
HII they just post the activities. In addition to the music and
announcement and the roof construction, there was constant noise from the lawn
mowers and leaf blowers.  The rooms are nice, but nothing special.  Ours
had a king bed, plastic sofa (what says class more than plastic) and
two chairs.  It was actually too much furniture for the room.  We were
constantly moving the chairs out of the way.  We ordered coffee to be
delivered to our room every morning at 6:00-6:30 am.  Half of the days it
was delivered before 5:30 am.  We would have preferred they delivered it
when we ordered it as it was cold by the time we were ready for it. 
Wake up calls were normally late, if we got one at all.  The club house
was convenient, but was often self service.  Take bug spray!  The
mosquitoes were terrible.  Also if you do play golf, be careful.  The course
has a bad fire ant problem.  They sting without warning and in unison. 
The pool bar used to be surrounded by the pool.  Now it is on the pool
deck.  So if you want a drink you either have to get out of the pool or
try and get the attention of the bartender.  Not to mention you are
looking into an ugly pit of old valves and outlets.  I’m sure I have left
things out, but you get the idea.

Overview
 
They should remove the title Grand Lido from the Braco.  It is much
closer to the level of HII.  I do not see what you get for the amount of
money spent.  When at GLN you feel that you are at an upscale resort. 
GLB should be Hedonism Plus. When and if we make it back to Jamaica, we
would definitely go to GLN.  GLB has a lot of work to do to earn its
luxury resort reputation.  It is simply not worth the money.
 
Jeffrey