Bob, Grand Lido Braco - 04/99

Trip Report Grand Lido Braco (April 22-28, 1999)

My wife and I had originally planned to go to Hedonism II. However, after reading trip reports and talking to our travel agent we decide to opt for Braco. He recommended it based on the quality of the A/N facilities and the overall ambiance of the resort. We were not disappointed.

We had been to Jamaica twice before. On our Honeymoon in 1991 we stayed in Jack Tar, Montego Bay. In 1992 we stayed in small hotel in Negril, called Hog Heaven. We enjoyed both trips.

In 1993 our son was born and we didn’t go anywhere on our own for six years. This year he was finally old enough so that we could get away with only a minimal of worrying.

There are enough trip reports that describe the facilities and the activities. Instead I will stick to observations of my own, experiences that were different from the rest of the trip reports, and tips for maximizing your enjoyment of your stay.

We booked on short notice early March for 6 days and 5 nights. The travel agent booked us into a garden view on the textile side. However, he told me that he new the manager and when we got there he would move us to the A/N side(perhaps a line of B.S. or perhaps not). Fair enough, since I was only paying for Garden View.

We left Chicago on a Foggy Thursday morning on the 6:30 AM Air Jamaica flight. The flight was pleasant and uneventful. We arrived in Montego Bay by 10:30. Customs was hot, steamy and crowded. It took us about forty-five minutes from the time we got off the plane to the time we got to the Super Clubs desk. (This is important: Bring singles, the going rate for tips to the baggage porters is a dollar a bag. This is what these people do for a living. So give them a break and let them carry your bags. I’m sure 3-5 dollars is no skin of your nose, but it makes a world of difference to the Jamaicans) The Super Club people were in fact super. They had our bags and us on the bus and we were on our way in about 10 minutes. The drive from Montego Bay to Braco is about 30 miles and takes about an hour. The roads are windy and narrow. However, they are in much better shape than the road to Negril and for almost the whole trip you are within site of the ocean. We road in an air-conditioned mini-bus which was quite comfortable. It was considerably better than the non-air-conditioned beat up 1973 Ford, posing as a taxi, that we took to Negril on our previous visit.

I had hoped to be in the resort by noon but it turned out to be about 12:30, not to shabby. Don’t forget to tip the driver. He does not work for Super Clubs. I gave him five dollars for my wife and I, and he seemed quite pleased. I did not open my wallet again until the day we left. (I love all-inclusive.) Immediately, the bellboys took our bags and we were shown to the registration area. We came in with about five other couples. We were given registration forms to fill out along with very large drinks. They took imprints of our credit cards for incidental expenses (i.e. long distance phone calls). They gave us keys to the room and a lock with a key for the safe. I told the registration clerk what my travel agent had told me about the upgrade. I put it nicely, by saying "my travel agent may have been lying, but this is what he said…" and I told my story. The clerk smiled nicely and checked the room availability list. She told us the only rooms available on the A/N side only had single beds, but they did have an Ocean Front Room available on the textile side. If I came back tomorrow (Friday) they could possibly move us over to the A/N side. I took the ocean front textile room. They did not charge me for the upgrade. I was not disappointed. The room they gave us was beautiful. It was in the farthest building from the center of the complex, (about one and a half city blocks) but it was immediately adjacent to the beachfront bar and the hot tub. The room was on the first floor and opened on to a patio. They patio was semi-private as it was partially obscured by the vegetation. However, it did not have a refrigerator. This was only a minor inconvenience because we were so close to the beachfront bar, which was open 24 hours. The only other complaint I had with the room was that the blow dryer did not work. This was a major concern for my wife. I called the front desk and they promised to send someone immediately.

Once in the room we changed our clothes, locked up our valuables, and went for a walk around the resort. We stopped at Nanny’s Jerk Pit for lunch. The curried goat (?) or chicken, I don’t remember which, was excellent.

After lunch we went back to the room and put on our swim suites, so that we could hit the pool. Now my wife knew all along that the resort had an A/N side and had agreed to try it out. However, she also made noises about "the kind of people that might be there" and that she wasn’t going to stay there the whole time. After all, she wanted to show off her new bikini. So she picked a spot for us by the A/N pool that was the farthest from the rest of the crowd and we dropped our suites. I shuttled drinks to her from the bar. After awhile she got more comfortable and decided to go in for a swim. She did not mention the textile pool again.

On the second day we went back to the A/N side and she choose a spot closer to the rest of the crowd. We ate lamb chops by poolside for lunch. It was wonderful. After lunch I got her to participate in the bingo game at the bar. We won a bottle of rum. By the time we were through with the bingo game she was on a first name basis with most of the other participants. I don’t think I could have dragged her to the textile pool.

People always seem to worry about the type of people that will encounter while engaging in social nudity, will they voyeurs, perverts, or just generally creepy? Will they all be fat old and ugly? The people on the A/N side were in all shapes and sizes. There were a few hard bodies, but the rest were just like you and me. Not as fit as we could be. But not carrying more than a few extra pounds. They ranged in age from late twenties to early seventies with the majority being from late 30’s to early 40s. They came from all walks of life. I met airline pilots, flight attendants, physicians, schoolteachers, engineers, big time executives, computer programmers, and trainers. On the whole they were the friendliest and most unpretentious bunch I have ever encountered. No one was involved in public sex acts and no one asked us to participate in alternative lifestyle activities. They were nice friendly people who weren’t hung up about nudity.

Most evenings after dinner the whole group would end up floating in the A/N pool or sitting in the hot tub. The hot tub on occasion was way to hot, 109-110 degrees. I found this uncomfortably warm.

At lunch one day in the Victoria Square dinning room, which is situated next to the textile pool, I made a startling observation. The textile people weren’t talking to each other. They were mostly couples who tended to float around together in the pool or who stayed by themselves at poolside. Alternatively, on the A/N side people tended to group together. Either they sat around together at poolside or they formed large flotillas with their rafts and floated and talked. My wife likes to talk.

On the second day, we noticed that the hair dryer in our room still did not work. I called the front desk and they promised to have it fixed.

On the third day some of the couples that we had become friendly with began to leave. We were sad. However, we quickly made friends with the new arrivals. The hair dryer in our room had still not been fixed. So, I went to the front desk and reminded them of their offer to move us to the A/N side, they did, at no extra cost. They gave us a third floor suite. The suite consisted of a bedroom, a sitting room with a TV and a sink, cook top, and a refrigerator full of beer and pop. The suite also had a full bathroom and a powder room. Suite was air conditioned with a remote control fan. On most occasions we left the air off and the doors open. There was usually a nice breeze off of the ocean. The balcony, as all balconies on the A/N side do, over looked the ocean. We were very happy. We slept at night with the doors open, the sound of the ocean lulling us to sleep.

Now for the advice part:

There are plenty towels strategically placed and readily available during the day. However, for someone reason once the sun goes down the staff takes them all away. So if you are planning a moonlight swim or hot tubing activity save a few from during the day. The only place you seem to be able to get them at night is from the exercise room, which is conveniently adjacent to the start of the A/N side.

If you want to eat at either the French or Japanese restaurants, which I highly recommend, make your reservations the first day. As they always seemed to booked out several days in advance. The French restaurant does require men to wear jackets, long pants, and leather shoes. The Japanese restaurant, however seems to waiver on whether or not it finds dress shorts acceptable. So to be on the safe side, wear long trousers. The other thing to remember is that when you make a reservation they take your room number. The morning of your reservation they place a confirmation slip/entrance pass under your door. If you change rooms you need to tell them. We didn’t know that and the night we arrived at the Japanese restaurant we encountered counterfeit us. Hostess spoke with them and they left looking slightly embarrassed.

If you are going to eat in the Victoria Market eat before 9:00. At 9:00 the violin quartet was replaced with a rock band that has the volume set so loud the speakers hummed even when they are not performing. It was impossible to have any type of conversation. The other problem I ran into with Victoria Market is that the host refused to put two tables of four together so that eight of us could sit at the same table. He seemed to be either over whelmed by the math or the fact that eight people might want to sit together. The best we could do was adjoining tables. However, the band was so hideously loud we couldn’t talk. So I guess it didn’t make a difference where we were sitting.

On the whole the staff was friendly and cordial. However, I did not find the Victoria Market or Piano Bar staff overly prompt. In addition, on the one occasion that we ordered room service they lost the order and I had to call back twice.

The breakfast, lunch, and dinner services in the Victoria Market (the main dining area) are buffet. The wait staff brings your drinks. Accept for breakfast time they are incredibly slow. This may have been do to the fact that most of the breakfast staff were trainees from a school, who were not being paid, but were being evaluated by their supervisors. Even when there were only a few other dinners, we could be half way through lunch or diner before we could get a drink. Forget about having two. When I finally went to the service bar and asked for one they seemed incredibly insulted that I wasn’t willing to wait for half an hour for one of the wait staff to grudgingly take my order.

Many of the Piano Bar staff seemed to have similar attitudes. They would have conversations with their coworkers to the exclusion of customers. When I finally did get their attention, they seemed put out, that I was asking them to do something that was clearly in their job descriptions.

Alternatively, the front desk staff, house keeping, and the grounds keepers were exceptionally friendly and accommodating. The wait staff in both the French and Japanese restaurant were fast, friendly, and efficient. The problem seemed to be limited to the Victoria Market and the adjacent bar/clubhouse. The staff in the A/N clubhouse, Pebbles were also fast efficient and friendly. They don’t give you glasses of champagne; they give you the entire bottle. Due to a bottle of champagne with lunch I found my self in the best tan contest. I have a very fair complexion and had no business anywhere near it.

On Thursday night the resort has "bare as you dare" in the disco. The disco is a dark small room, perhaps 40x40, with poor ventilation. Since there were quite a few smokers, it became much to smoky for us in about ten minutes. Also, the music was extremely loud. So it was impossible to have any kind of conversation.

There were a wide variety of costumes, from the very conservative, boxers and a tee shirt, to the very daring a g-string and a see through top. One woman (you know who you are) wore flowers taped over her breasts. She had the best costume. However, because of the noise and smoke, we didn’t stay to see if she won best costume.

The most fun that we had was during the body painting. My wife painted a red thong on me. Red body paint is the hardest to get off. I still had some on me the next day. It took awhile to get it out of the crevice, if you know what I mean. That’s one picture we won’t be using for the xmas card.

Don’t make the mistake of bringing to many clothes. At best you will need a couple of pair of dress shorts and some shirts to wear at dinner. At the most during the day all you will need is a swim suite and a tee shirt. Bring two tee shirts and wear them on alternate days. You can rinse them out at night. They will dry in 24 hours. You will need a jacket with long pants for the French restaurant. You can wear the long pants again at the Japanese restaurant. Don’t forget the dry cleaning service is included in the price you have paid. So don’t be afraid to use it.

We met at least five couples who had either just gotten married or had renewed their vows. This is also included in the price you paid. Guys, if you’re already married don’t be afraid to take advantage of it. You’ll be very popular with the wife. If you aren’t married and are planning to get married think about doing it at Braco. It is a first class resort in a romantic environment. Best of all they do all the planning and make all of the arrangements. All you have to do is show up.

My other suggestion is to bring some kind of flip-flops that you can easily take on and off. All of the walkways are concrete and very hard on your bare feet. I found the ocean to be a little rocky so might want to also bring water shoes.