Bob & Jan’s Most Excellent Grand Lido Braco Adventure

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After too many years of traditional vacations we decided it was time to be adventuresome and go someplace new and exciting. After a lot of research on the net, and especially Denny’s site and the many links, we chose Grand Lido Braco. We picked April 15-22, 1999 as a date since it was the beginning of the off season and should be past the Spring Break crowd for the most part. It was also a combination of dates that had a strange dip in airfare for whatever reason.

We booked our trip through Lance at Go Classy Tours because he was recommended by others, his prices were competitive, and I always seemed to be able to get in touch with him when I had a question or concern. Several other travel agencies lost out because they either failed to return e-mails, calls, or simply lacked the patience and attitude to answer a timid traveler’s questions. Go Classy gets my vote and repeat business.

We decided to go for a seven-night package – from Thursday to Thursday. In retrospect, this was a mistake for two reasons. First, seven days is not long enough. We should have listened to others who said that 10 days is the best stay. Second, Thursday night is the PJ Party. It would have been much more fun if we had been there at least 2 days before the PJ Party so that we could have gotten to know the resort better and become acquainted with the staff and the other guests before the party. We still enjoyed it but others seemed to be having a lot more fun because of the two reasons stated above. We are still talking about what our favorite activities were and will let that influence our arrival day for the next trip.

Our flight to Jamaica was uneventful and Northwest Airlines stayed true to form – leaving a bit late and arriving late. Immigration and customs was a breeze and we quickly found the SuperClubs desk in the Transportation Hall of Sangster Airport. Apparently the procedures have changed a bit recently. We did not fill out any paperwork at the SuperClubs desk at all but merely told them our name and they checked us off of a list. We waited patiently for about 15 minutes while transportation was arranged. We were fortunate and avoided the infamous bus ride and were driven to the resort in a late model Toyota by a friendly Jamaican driver named Paul. Along with Jan and me, Paul drove a young Jamaican child back to the resort. This boy had been visiting relatives in New Jersey for several weeks and was a pleasant addition to our ride. He was a real character, and told us all sorts of things about Grand Lido Braco and his mother who was in Sales at Braco. He kept us laughing during the 55-minute drive. The driver also offered some information on the sites as we passed by.

On arrival at the resort, we were met at the car with a big smile and a warm "Welcome Home". The baggage handlers quickly unloaded the car. One very happy Jamaican mother, who missed her son very much, caught up on hugs and kisses and then heard all about the secrets her son had shared with us during the drive out from the airport. The whole Braco greeting staff enjoyed this immensely. Check in was handled quickly and the cold towel and mimosa was a nice way to start the stay. I commented that I hoped the room had a king-size bed since I had not traveled to Jamaica to sleep in a regular size bed or separate from my wife. I was assured that I would like the room and that it had a king-size bed. We were escorted to our room by one of the entertainment directors and he commented that we were getting one of the finest rooms in the resort. This did not really register with us until we stepped into the room. Then we realized that we had been upgraded to a full suite from the junior suite that we had reserved. This was another very pleasant surprise.

Enough of the travelogue approach to trip reports! I’ll try to break down the rest of our stay into categories and observations.

Grand Lido Braco is a resort that is still maturing. The clothed side is in great shape and under constant maintenance. The gardeners are always around working and the maintenance people are always visible doing painting, cleaning, and repair work of all sorts. This is not disruptive and, in many ways, refreshing to see.

The au naturel side still shows some signs of being new. The room blocks are in great shape. The pool, bars, and clubhouse are simply wonderful. The Braco au naturel pool is said to be the largest swimming pool in the Carribean.

The two hot tubs seem very unreliable. The maintenance people are not able to keep the temperature regulated in them very well at all. Several people complained about the dangerously hot temperature in the secluded small hot tub and it seemed to be better for 2 or 3 days and then went back to being out-of-control again. The large hot tub was turned off for no apparent reason on at least two occasions. Thankfully, at least one hot tub was working whenever we wanted to soak our weary bodies.

The landscaping on the clothed side is fantastic. Comparing the clothed and the au naturel side shows the future promise that time will deliver on the au naturel side of the resort. One gardener who we talked with on several occasions said that much of the landscaping on the au naturel side was transplanted from the clothed side within the last 12 – 18 months. And, they are very obviously still adding to the plantings on both sides of the resort. The biggest difference is noted with the palm and other shade trees/bushes that are planted on the au naturel beach. Once the plantings on the au naturel beach take hold, this will be one awesome beach. It’s wonderful now, but just wait 1-2 years. Wow! The landscaping in the area to the South of the au naturel pool is still being worked on too. It appears that this area will be left as a sort of "shady woods".

The care and feeding of the beach areas occurs mainly in the early morning hours. Being an early riser, I watched the men raking and cleaning the beach almost every morning. They do a very nice job and this adds to the quality of beach life more than many would believe.

There are a lot of quiet escapes scattered throughout the resort. The small hot tub in the woods is screened by some very large floral plantings and very private. There are many 2 person rope hammocks scattered around and these are perfect for watching the stars and some quiet cuddling with your significant other. Yes, you can reach the champagne bottle on the ground from the hammock with a little practice, I think. Some guests moved lounge chairs and cushions to some of the small landscaped cul-de-sacs and made quiet little retreats of their very own. Maybe the resort management will notice this pattern and work on this idea a bit more?

The beach was wonderful and the snorkeling in the "lagoon" was great for a beginner. Some of the other guests went outside of the breakwater wall and commented that it was even better on the ocean side of the manmade reef. A huge conch shell was the prize of one guest who went out exploring a fair distance from the lagoon. One other guest said that he had a very hard time getting back in the lagoon due to the wave action and the outward flow of water, so a word of caution is offered here. Don’t miss the chance of snorkeling at least inside the wall even if you do it from a chair cushion float. The small fishes are beautiful and fun to watch. There was also a pair of large angel fish who showed up every day to entertain me. If you venture close to the wall, you have to be careful that the wave action doesn’t slam you around. There is a large colony of black sea urchins living on the wall that you don’t want to tangle with. Their spines are long, sharp, and you will long remember their venomous pokes if you get too close. They are beautiful to see but keep your distance. Be sure to bring along an underwater camera too. I bought a Minolta 35 mm Advantix type of underwater camera specifically for this trip, ran some test rolls through it before leaving, and was ready to do some serious picture taking. About half way through the first roll of film, the Minolta died and refused to do anything even after I begged and used appropriate words of encouragement. There are one-time (or disposable) underwater cameras available for about $10 and they work fine. Thankfully I had thrown one in the suitcase at the last minute so all was not lost.

We found the staff to be very friendly and never had a moment’s problem or issue with any of them. As we walked around the resort we were always greeted with a smile and a "good morning" or other friendly greeting whenever a staff member was encountered. Other trip reports commented about the staff needing charm lessons. We found the opposite to be the case. If you treat the staff with respect and a friendly smile, you will get it back with a dividend attached. We took the time to get to know many of the staff and they responded to the attention. They are proud family oriented people and especially like to talk about their children. Many of the Braco staff are also supporting their parents and other siblings.

The food service staff was generally very attentive – some better than others – and service was always at or above our expectations. It appears that the newer servers start out at either the Pasta restaurant or at the buffet meals in Victoria Market. Then, if they are good enough, they graduate to serving evening meals at the Market and then to the French or Japanese restaurants.

The housekeeping staff was never intrusive and did their jobs while working around the guests’ wishes to be left alone. The cause was never clear to us, but there appeared to be a problem with the laundry service at the resort on some days. Often the dirty towels would be removed from the room during the morning and clean ones would not appear until later in the afternoon or sometimes not until we called the desk, which we did on two or three occasions. They always promptly delivered more than enough towels and, strangely enough, they were always still warm from the dryer.

Our suite had two separate air conditioners and one of them did not work from the beginning. Each call for help to the front desk resulted in a prompt visit from a maintenance man who reset the unit. It failed within minutes of his visit however. After the third call, I walked to the front desk and asked to speak to a manager. The manager thanked me for bringing the problem to her attention and within an hour the air conditioner was fixed – and it continued to work correctly for the rest of our stay. The lesson learned here is to ask once via normal channels and then go straight to a manager if the problem is not resolved. Don’t get irritated and don’t let the little things bother you. Let the managers deal with it.

The groundskeepers and gardeners did an excellent job keeping everything looking neat, tidy, and very green. Every morning the gardeners stopped by our building and removed the old hibiscus and other flower blossoms that were past their peak. There are also a large number of fresh fruit plants and trees growing across the resort and the gardeners said that the fruits are all served at the resort. Included are several varieties of bananas, coconuts, grapefruit, oranges, giant lemons, guava, prickly sour fruit, and breadfruit to name a few. One morning we watched two gardeners wrestling with a bunch of bananas that was nearly 5 feet long and must have weighed close to 150 pounds. I think we drank those lovely bananas in the form of several blenders of Dirty Bananas later that same day. There is an elaborate and extensive irrigation system at Braco that helps explain the lushness and success of the gardens.

Overall the food was very good. We did not make it to every restaurant nor did we sample every major dish on the menus – we weren’t there long enough to do this and we went back to our favorites rather than focussing on being completely adventuresome.

Victoria Market is the primary restaurant at Braco. It is open air and overlooks the ocean. Elaborate buffets are available there for extended Breakfast and Lunch periods. Servers are present to handle your drink orders, keep the tables cleared, and respond to any special requests you may have. The evening meal at Victoria Market is served from a menu that changes daily and is varied enough to keep you happy. We found the buffets to be very satisfying and the evening meals to be interesting and presented with class and style. Good mixes of Jamaican and international dishes were always present along with a very nice selection of fresh tropical fruits and enough vegetables to keep your mother happy. The pastries, breads, muffins, and other baked goods were quite extensive and very good too. Our only suggestion was that the steam tables should be hotter and the cold tables colder. No one got sick that we heard of but the temperatures of some of the foods could have been better.

Braco desserts are something they excel at. The lunch and evening meal dessert selections were always a temptation that we succumbed to without much resistance. Wide variety. Eye appealing. Yummy.

The French and Japanese restaurants require reservations and we suggest you make those reservations with the concierge as soon as you arrive. The French restaurant seems to fill up faster than the Japanese does however, so you may be able to sneak in two visits to the Japanese restaurant if you find it enjoyable. We dined at both of these special places. The service and atmosphere at the French restaurant is slow and determined and done with style. The wine list is a notch above the other places as is the menu. We thoroughly enjoyed the experience. The Japanese restaurant is also interesting. It is a group meal with up to 8 at each table, Tepanyaki style. The food is cooked right on the table. We enjoyed the meal that seemed to be a mix of Japanese and Chinese style dishes. We are hardly experts in this cuisine so it may have been truly authentic Japanese. There is something not quite congruous about fancy Japanese knife work being done by a Jamaican man wearing a Japanese bandana around his head. It really was a lot of fun but the authenticity was shaky. Sake is available on request but it was not offered. This should have been a standard and not a special request. I was pleased when the sake was served in the proper cups and at the proper temperature. It was very nicely done. The food was served in courses with appetizer, soup, salad, and then the main course. The main course was prepared at the table – a stir fry containing a lot of vegetables and chicken, lobster, and beef. Dessert was an interesting green tea ice cream with fresh fruit.

A separate reservation is required if you want to do the 7 course sushi dinner. We did not know this and by the time we found out there was not enough time left to include this in our Braco experience. Next time we will try the sushi for sure.

Nanny’s Jerk Pit is not to be missed even if you don’t think you will like the hot spicy Jamaican treats. We do not really enjoy spicy foods but had a nice jerk pork lunch one day. Try the pepper pot soup first. Nanny’s lived up to expectations – every dish was hot! For those who like their food really spicy, there is extra hot sauce available. Just be sure to sit near the pool in case you spontaneously combust. We didn’t see anyone go up in flames but do believe it is possible.

The affects of the Jamaican sand gravity are not to be trifled with, we discovered on several occasions. Sometimes you just can’t get up from the beach or out of the pool even when your stomach is crying for food. But, the solution is simple. There is something special about being able to eat a very nice meal of marinated lamb chops while seated at the bar in the swimming pool. Floating to the bar and ordering a drink and lunch is truly decadent living. It was such a treat that we did it several days. The food was prepared right at the bar and done very nicely. It gets two thumbs up from us, for sure. I understand you can also get "room service" at the beach but we didn’t really want to have our lunches spiced with sand.

If you simply can not find the time to eat meals during one of the wide time frames when the restaurants are in full operation, there is always room service. It runs 24 hours a day and it works. We put room service to the test at all hours of the day and night just because we could and because we got the munchies at odd hours. It is amazing just how fast they can produce 8 orders of potato skins and 8 orders of buffalo wings at 1:30 in the morning. It is also amazing that 8 people can still eat them after drinking almost 22 bottles of champagne and 2 bottles of red wine! But, we did. And, I know we entertained the staff in the process since it was mentioned by the next shift the following morning. We may have set some new record on the amount of champagne consumed in one evening, I think.

We ordered room service for breakfast one morning and it was OK. If you can’t drag yourself out of bed to get to Victoria Market for breakfast, at least you won’t starve. From the large number of trays we saw outside of rooms every day, I’d say that this was a popular feature at Braco. The simplest way to get breakfast room service is to fill out the door hanger card before you crash into bed at night. You tell them what you want and when you want it (in 15 minute time windows) and hang it on the door knob outside before 2:00 am. Our food arrived on time and they were able to decipher what we ordered and it was delivered in proper quantities.

Oh my, where do I start? Entertainment was everywhere, in every form, shape, type, timing, and quantity that you can imagine. If you wanted to be entertained, you didn’t have to look – it found you. The entertainment directors popped up for the scheduled events and sometimes for spontaneous events. These are people who are picked for their craziness we believe. Of particular note is the man called Renard. There are at least 4 people living inside of that body. He kept us laughing every day and gave us a special sendoff as we left the resort. There are about 8 other entertainment directors that we appreciated but Renard will stay in our memories as the wild man of Braco. Carl was another who gets an honorable mention. It may seem strange that I combined Entertainment and Bar Service into one category for this report but the experience we had leaves them firmly entwined.

The bartenders are also up-and-coming crazy people. Tessa, Denton, and Glenroy are worthy of some special praise. Not only did they come up with entertaining drinks but they also helped out with some of the special functions such as body painting and mixology. After our third day they pretty much knew what we liked to drink and we just had to wave our hands at them from across the pool and drinks would quickly appear at our floats or chairs. Tessa also seemed to have that second sense of when it was time to introduce us to some new concoction that she dreamed up. Cranberry Insanity is one of her specials. Glenroy was the magician of the refills. More than once a fresh drink magically appeared next to a severely wounded one without it being ordered. How does he do that? Denton is legendary and others have said enough about his elixirs of life already. His quiet and subtle humor was easy to like.

Entertainment activities were fun and we participated in many of them including volleyball in the pool, body painting, trivia, Jamaican chat, mixology, and the horticulture tour. There is a published schedule available, chalkboard postings, and the events are on the room TV’s as well. The biggest problem is trying to keep track of time so you don’t miss it. We left our watches in the room and missed several events due to the sand gravity time dilation that occurs in Jamaica. The banana eating and wet T-shirt contests held such promise too!

The real entertainment came from the other guests. The staggered arrival and departure dates for the various couples were both a problem and a blessing. There were several couples that we chatted with all week off and on. We got acquainted with two couples on their last day and were sad to see them leave. And, then we found a group of 3 other couples that we clicked with when we had 2 days left in our stay. Their real names are secret, of course. But, Reetha, you just remember that you picked him as your hubby and that your children have ½ of his genes! OK? Barney and Betty, Fred and Wilma, you know who you are. Next year, same time, same place? Don’t let your kids see those pictures either!

There were two or three other couples who did not associate with anyone but their mates and stayed by themselves during the day and were never seen at night. Others liked to chat during the day but wanted the evenings to be by themselves. It was a nice mix of people. There were a large number of Canadians, U.S., British, Germans, a few French, and one couple I never could understand – maybe Portuguese? Overall, the crowd was very friendly and outgoing. The group activities were wild, crazy, and a lot of fun. Everyone laughed at each other and themselves and had a great time. The watchers watched and the doers did. We had one Wally show up sporadically for a couple of days but he didn’t last. I think a staff member had a little chat with him.

The professional entertainment was another high point of the Braco experience. There was a lot to choose from and it was all done very nicely. There was always live entertainment at the evening meals at the French restaurant and at Victoria Market. It ranged from tumbling acts to Jamaican folk dance and music to Bach played by a Cuban string quintet, to popular music, singing, and dancing with a disco flair. We particularly enjoyed the Cuban string quintet and sought them out every time they played. They were the best we have ever heard. They will be at the various SuperClub locations for 6 months and then going back to Cuba for a while. A particularly memorable occasion was when they suddenly appeared at the pool bar one afternoon to play for us. They were dressed in their Nike shoes, gym shorts, and a SuperClubs T-shirt and sat and played for about 10 of us, close up, for about an hour. They asked for our special requests and then poured their hearts out on their instruments.

There was also a duo of two older Jamaican men playing the banjo and the marimba bass, a simple native instrument that is hard to describe – it is sort of a attaché case sized music box that is sat on and plucked at. They were not wonderful vocalists or instrumentalists by any stretch of the imagination but they were very good entertainers. One of the entertainment directors said that we were expected to sing along whenever possible. If you can’t sing, the Jamaicans call it "crowing". These two guys crowed with gusto and you just had to love them. They appeared one afternoon at the pool bar too and the crowd was in a lusty mood after several mysterious concoctions, the infamous body paintings, and a mock wedding ceremony (for Barney and Betty). This wedding was spontaneously assembled and conducted with pomp and a modicum of propriety for such a solemn occasion. As solemn as you can get with a painted on wedding dress, tuxedo, ministerial collar, and assorted costumes for the maid of honor and flower girl that is. But that’s another story entirely. These two crowers revealed an aspect of the Jamaican people that I knew had to be there but never saw before – they have a lot of bawdy songs that show the sensuous and sexually charged atmosphere of the tropics. Nothing blatant or particularly obscene, but a whole lot of hinting and double meanings and innuendo. The Big Bamboo, Saltfish Song, Watermelon Slices, and Shame and Scandal in the Family were among the ones sung (or crowed) in succession. Grins, pauses, and an intonation at the right time in these songs are the secret ingredients sure to draw snickers and giggles from the crowd.

We didn’t take in the disco scene or the piano bar since they were crowded, hot, and very loud. The hot tub and popping champagne corks kept calling to us in the evenings and it was our way of celebrating just being alive and together. Others commented that the disco was OK and that the piano bar was a nice way to end an evening of dancing and drinking. Everyone has their own ideas of "fun". From the hot tub we could hear the partying but it seemed to quiet down somewhere around midnight each night.

Entertainment can be in the form of quiet relaxation on the beach, in the ocean, and in or around the pool and hot tub with your mate, or just chatting with another couple about whatever is on your mind. We did this every day and it was very nice. Our life style is "hurry hurry hurry" all the time and we forget how to just sit and talk. This was a reminder that it is nice to just slow down and enjoy each other like we did when we were dating. It was special. Try it yourself and report back if you agree. Getting to know new people and the art of simple conversation is something that our modern life has pushed to the background. It is also very relaxing and refreshing.

Bring along a good camera or two. There are storybook photo opportunities all over the resort and the beaches and gardens beg you to take pictures. The sunsets are simply breathtaking. I am sending Denny a bunch of pictures to post in the photo section of his site. I hope you enjoy them as much as we do.

The shops at Braco have a reasonably good selection of miscellaneous over-the-counter types of drugs and typical drug store items, but the prices seem extremely high. I saw one guy buy a package of Comtrex Cold pills and pay nearly $15 U.S. We took along a lot of our own medications in small travel sizes and that was a wise move.

We took advantage of the laundry service and were well pleased with the turn around time and the quality of the job they did. Just be sure to allow 48-72 hours for the service. Ours was back in about 36 hours but we heard that others waited longer.

The rooms have built-in hair dryers but they are not very effective. Several of the women commented that their hair dried faster by simply going out on the balcony and letting the ocean breezes do the job. Ladies, take your own hair dryer.

Be sure to make your complimentary nail and pedicure appointments early. Come on guys – go for it if you never have had this done before. It was an interesting experience and certainly made me feel pampered.

There are a large number of chair pads that double as floats for the beach and the pool. But, for the aficionados, we recommend you take your own blow up float, especially if you want something with a good headrest. We did not see anyone who did this but we will take at least one of our own with us next time.

The room safe (vault?) was a question and concern that I was not able to get answered before we left for our trip. The safe proved to be large enough to accommodate my Sony digital camera, a 35 mm dive camera, our two wallets, and travel documents. There was still space left over too.

Twice since our return, people have asked me whether we saw any public displays of affection (PDA or open sexual activity). During my early morning walks, I encountered some very discrete frolics in the hot tub and one balcony gymnastic event. Nighttime hot tub and pool activities were also reported. Everything was very discrete and there was no show time atmosphere. From what I hear, this is nothing when compared to the performances at Hedonism II.

The question of availability and use of ganja was also asked as soon as we returned home. After all of the stories I have heard and read, I was amazed that we were never offered any pot nor did we smell or see any of it in use during our trip. Do we look that old or that straight?

We saw no evidence of tipping by others. We never sensed even the slightest suggestion that a tip was expected. A couple of the staff deserved a tip but we did not know how to handle it or whether the offer would cause trouble so we did not attempt it.

The craft vendors at the resort were all very friendly but not very aggressive. A good combination. We bought several wood carvings and ordered some custom work which was delivered back to us as promised. We also bought some jewelry but felt that the prices were at the high limits. The same jewelry was later found at the airport for about the same price as we paid after hard negotiations. Liquor and coffee prices at the resort are way too high. We were unable to go on the shopping excursions to Ocho Rios due to the civil uprisings in Jamaica during our stay. More on this below. If we had been able to go to the craft market in Ocho Rios we would at least have had a better benchmark on prices. Overall, we were pleased with our purchases at the resort and especially the custom word carvings by Melford Gaynor.

Pay attention to your bill when you check out. We found charges for long distance calls on our bill that belonged to someone else. This caused a problem during the close out of our room charges and required a manager to approve removing the charges.

We had plenty of time at the airport to cruise the duty free shops and the other tourist trap shops in the lower level. We managed to fill up the rest of our luggage and also gained a box full of Appleton Rum, Tia Maria, and Rum Cream, Blue Mountain coffee, and some obligatory T-shirts. The price for the exact same package of coffee was $28 at Braco and $20 at the airport. I did not even bother to comparison shop the rum prices since everyone said that the airport was the place to buy that and I didn’t want to carry it any more than I had to anyway.

The civil uprisings, rioting, looting, and shootings going on in Jamaica during our stay did not cause us any problems other than interrupting our plans to go to Dunns River Falls and Ocho Rios for shopping. The SuperClubs people did a fine job of isolating us from the stress and it was only through private conversations with the staff and from the radio and TV that we listened to in the room that we learned what was really going on. The impact to service in the resort was minimized by the hard work of those who could get to work and those who stayed over at the resort to keep it running during the times the roads were blocked. There were spot shortages of some food supplies – they ran out of lamb chops one day and French fries another day. This was as close to a hardship as we got. We had to eat jerk chicken and hamburgers instead of lamb chops one day for lunch and potato skins were our "roughing it" substitute for the French fries. We survived it with a stiff upper lip and some reinforcement from rum however.

The blocked roads caused the problems for the resort. The staff couldn’t get home or back to work some times. There were some instances where arriving and departing guests could not get to/from the airport. One of the airlines cancelled outbound flights forcing some guests to stay longer. Food and service trucks were either late or prevented from getting in and out of the resort at times. I really believe that the Jamaicans did not want to hurt tourism in any way. They just wanted to get the government to roll back the gas taxes. The real trouble, looting, and violence occurred in Kingston from what we could tell. By the time we departed on Thursday, the troubles were over and we had a very nice trip back to the airport. No problem, mon.

This was the best vacation we have ever had. We were pampered and felt like royalty. We had some wonderful time together and with other couples. Could it be better? Sure, but the complaints and suggestions go into the "picking nits" column and are hardly worth mentioning. The wonderful things that are there overwhelm the minor problems. The resort, the staff, and especially the new friends we found all fit together so well.

Will we go back to Braco? Yes, the only question is when. Braco is a wonderful place. Expensive, but not out of line. Any regrets? Yes, we should have stayed 10 days instead of seven. What would we do differently? Take along a different mix of clothing, a hair dryer, and a travel alarm clock.

We already look forward to the time that we can go back. Renard broke down crying when we left and the concierge had to console him. He promised to wait in the reception area until we return. I sure hope they feed him occasionally.

When you arrive at Braco, the traditional greeting is "Welcome Home". Once you have been there, you too will understand why.

Bob & Jan